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Sucks. [21 Dec 2004|08:56pm]
[ mood | crazy ]
[ music | E-Craft - Kill the fakes ]

I despise my computer. Tara.. where did you go? I'm fucking sorry, I had to restart...when I came back you were gone. I need to get this shit all out. So here fucking goes. I fucked up, threw away a good thing. But I'm willing to throw in the gamble and give it all to you. Whatever you decide, I love you, little bit. I'll love you if you stay with David or whatever his name is. He can hold your hand, I can't for over a year. It sucks. But I'm willing to move you in and hold you every night if you'll wait for me. I'm sorry I didn't wait for you.

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[17 Dec 2004|10:59pm]
[ mood | cynical ]
[ music | Android Lust ]

I called again. Tried several times. Left a message. I'll be out of town for two days. I suppose I'll try calling again on Monday.

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[17 Dec 2004|09:36pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]
[ music | Android Lust - Follow ]

I couldn't take care of you. I couldn't give you the beautiful things you deserve. I couldn't even get myself food or clothing, how am I supposed to take care of someone else? You are, so amazingly perfect to me. When I speak to you, it feels as though every hard thing in my life is pushed back and it's just you and me. You're beautiful, faults, mistakes, everything. What did I do to deserve this? How can I keep ahold of this? I just got so overwhelmed. I just left. I could have called, stressed myself and you, but like an idiot I thought I'd leave. No one has really ever, cared I suppose. I leave all the time, it's nothing new. I love you, Rave. What are we going to do?

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shit. [17 Dec 2004|09:32pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | woods. ]

In a year and a half I will be moving to Columbus, OH. I had wanted to tell you this yesterday, you signed off. I tried calling. I left a brief message. I will try once more. If you want to try to keep this together until then, we can. We can start over. By then, you will still be in high school, but you will be 18. Dorm costs and Apartment costs eventually even out. If you do decide, I will get an area apartment. I want to try. I'm so afraid.

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jesus. [02 Dec 2004|03:44pm]
Where is my happy ending?
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Fuckin-A. [30 Nov 2004|10:37pm]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | God Module - The ones you love (how fitting...) ]

I moved a little while back. Tossed everything into boxes and up and left. I've only just recently got phone service or internet. I didn't try to contact Rave. We hadn't spoken in a long time. Word got to me that she was dating other people, that she was happy. Out of stupidity I tried to get in contact with her again. What the fuck was I thinking? I ruin everyones life.

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ugh. [18 Nov 2004|08:06pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]
[ music | Bjork - Human Behavior ]

I miss Ravyn. Does she even love me anymore? It's been so long. I'm trying to get ahold of her... to hold you down.. kiss you so soft, I'll take your breath away.... Gah. I feel so fucking nihilistic. Nothing matters. Rayvn where are you...? If you read this.. I'll be online on Monday Nov. 22 at 8:00...

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God. [11 Nov 2004|08:02pm]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | Listening to the leaves falling outside ]

Tara. I don't have your new journal. Deadlypurple has been deleted and you are never on aim. Msg me on here. I miss you...we need to talk.

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I hate love. [01 Jun 2004|08:44pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | I am the rain - Assemblage 23 ]

I hate love.

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It's been a while... [09 Feb 2004|08:03pm]
[ mood | predatory ]
[ music | Facsist Smash - Kill Switch...Klick ]


click it behbeh.

"in case of a war, throw the baby into the fire" "naked woman"

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I hate love. I don't love you. I don't love you. You can fuck off. Don't believe me? Neither do I... [09 Nov 2003|09:29pm]
[ mood | disgusted ]
[ music | HardKnox-Attitude ]

Well.. Fuck off anyway.

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hate. [06 Nov 2003|03:52pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | KillSwitch...Klick ]

Self explanatory.

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Rusted. [21 Oct 2003|03:46pm]
[ mood | cynical ]
[ music | Kill Switch...Klick ]

KMFDM @ the Odeon (10-30-03) 8:00 p.m. Tickets: 20.50

I want to go..

www.dieselsweeties.com <--- Go here and look through the comic




Music: Syncromesh.net/radio.asp



"We shall this day light such a candle by God's grace, in England as I trust shall never be put out." -Latimer


The Cruxshadows

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For the sake of sanity. [17 Oct 2003|04:08pm]
[ mood | cynical ]
[ music | In my head. ]

Assemblage 23


/Do you believe in the nobility of suicide?\


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Wumpsex :W: [16 Oct 2003|05:02pm]
[ mood | mellow ]
[ music | Nirvana -Smells Like Teen Spirit ]

...my asylum.

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