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Monday, May 12th, 2003
7:53 pm - another day..
no batman wasn't in english...and yelens was late to bio b/c of him....tsk tsk tsk
the whhooooollee day she was going on and on and on about how she'll get him...so yeah..prolly by friday, lol
in global hirsch was like...were you absent friday..i was like *cough*yeah..sure*cough*, felt bad about lying but oh well
gym was alright, hanes wasn't there so i was the only one who couldn't walk on the balance beam =(
i was so good on the equipment i surprised myself...i could actually do stuff! not the backward thing though...i SUCKED at that...poor michelka tried to help...and well, it didn't work!!!
i was soooooooo going to cut fourth i almost kicked myself..i followed yelens into the lunchroom, and then as fast as i could i practucally ran out mumbling to myself "i'm not gonna cut i'm not gonna cut i'm not gonna cut"...it was awful!
i HATE global...i do ido i do...i mean it's amazing hoe nice talia is..she really is a nice person =)...but i can't stand her convos with bianca...i just want to fuckin shoot myself!!! gah
but yeah..then i had math (yucko)..then russian..wrote another shit ass depressing poem...why is it that russian brings that out in me??? EVERY single day i sit there and literally plan my self mutilation step by step...then i go smoke with hanes and i'm like whoa....wtf WAS that??!!
well so yeah, since hania wasn't there i had nothing better to do than go with yelens w/ her class to the auditorium in the hopes that she'll get dismissed...and saw rico *swoons*...yeah, so she did get dismissed, and met nicole...ahhh she's so funny...love those kinds of ppl..they're soooo easy to talk to!!! yelens has aweasome friends =)
so yeah..we went to the truck (ghetto) and pacman was with allan and they were right behind us (me, yelena, and nicole) and pacman was standing right behind me..ugh!! this is so pathetic i can't believe i'm writing this..but hey! it's my journal :D
so...then i had free..can't really remmember anything..umm....oh yeah...just walked around with sachio trying to bum cigarettes...no luck
morgan..no sub but we were in the audiotarium so it was alright...talked with tom and doris..doris said some stuff but can't post it here...and tom is just a very hot person =)...lol, it was kinda funny i was sitting there contemplating my getaway when suddenly i smell this really strong cologne and i'm like what IS that?? and tom sheepishly raises his hand and he's like...umm..yeah sorry...that's me (sooo cute) and then i turn to him cause i want something to drink and he just finished his soda and he's looking through it like a telescope (with the cap still on) and then he puts it down and is like...oh..sorry..ahhh..he is sooooooooooooo sexy!
yeah..so then i left...YAY! and hung out with michelle, katie, and monica outside..funfunfun!!

current mood: crushed
current music: "You're The Good Things" Modest Mouse

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Friday, May 9th, 2003
11:32 pm - aweasomy
i CUT global, i actually did it...i went straight down...whoa, yeah I KNOW!!
met hania, sachio, nirvanica, michelle, and katie and we went outside towards kenny's truck..and who did we see smoking? zach's little tiny friend (charlie?)..does EVERYONE smoke?! it's crazy that's what it is! well we went to the sidewalk next to Harris Field and we sat there and me, hanes and michellle smoked...it was great, good cigs =D. i wrote on my converses, and veronica made a daisy chain...rofl..sillyness, she tried it again and didn't cough..wowzer
eh, math and russian, eh
then lunch asked bianca if hirsch noticed that i was gone and she said no...thank god! me and hania went outside and smoked..she got a new cell..she was talking on it with antonella and was like..no!!! listen!! just GET THE PANCAKES!!..it was hilarious...waltz of flowers is pretty =D..not much...hung out with mary...can't believe hania saw the lizzie mcguire movie, lmao
hung out with sachio during 8th..wrote some more on converses, then mina and priya came..hung out with them a bit too, was gonna cut music but morgan was there...yucko..we were on the first floor though so that was alright, talked with tom and doris..it's her bday tommorow ...yay!!! tom is soo funny..he's like yeah i live in queens but my dad owns restauratns in manhattan, i'm like..you own restaurants...and he's like...yeah, i am greek!! yeah, he's hot 2, rofl..wore my arm sox thngies..got called cat woman..LOL...cannot believe tom and doris don't know ANYTHING about manhattan...had to give them a little geography lessson =)
hania cut ninth so took bus home with yelens and nirvanica...cizool bus ride..yelens "sexy druggie" was on it..he is sooooo hot, shame to expell such hotness. And pacman and friends were on it too...ahh hapiness..we were sitting right behind them and the whole time yelens was like....omg he's so hot!! don't you think he's hot..i can't believe you think HE'S hot..he's soo not hot...yeah, but HE'S hot!! she's so silly =)
nirvanica had to go home but was like yeah..i'll be there in 30 minutes..did i believe her? no. was she there? no. she pisses me off..it's so fuckin annoying!!!..yeah so hung out with yelens for like 4 hours..funfunfun!!! went to the "benches", the idiots were there.....they are SUCH retards...if i was them i'd hide under a goddamn rock..how can u NOT be ashamed to hang out on the benches in front of someone's house 24/7??? it's like they're the old ladies...xcept with baggier pants..ugh
then went home hung out with yelens a bit more..she so fuckin funny..don't remmember how..but yeah, lol
borrowed my cds so borrowed her cds...mwaaaahhaahaaaa
EMPIRE RECORDS is a fuckin kick ass movie..i was so happy when i was watching it that i almost cried...it's amazing

current mood: cheerful
current music: "Stranger Than Fiction" Bad Religion

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Thursday, May 8th, 2003
8:10 pm - so disturbing...
Oh God.....noooooo

If i was a serial killer i would be Jeffrey Dahmer.

The psycho killer of the 90's, Jeffery dahmer abducted, drugged, sodomized, tortured, murdered and devoured his young male victims one at a time. After receiving calls of a rancid stench emanating from dahmers apartment, investigators found the decomposing remains of over 12 young men.

Dahmer would drug his victims, then proceed to drill a hole in their head, inserting acid into the brain, keeping the body alive but killing all other functions. he called them his "sex zombies". After the body would die, he would then proceed to mutilate and pose the body, taking pictures, and cooking and eating what was left over.

Kill count: 12-13

Find what serial killer you would be, Take the Serial Killer Quiz now!

When i kill myself i'll do a...


I Will Die of Natural Causes.
Your choice of life style has enabled you to live a nice long life.. To eventually die of a stroke, or was it a heart attack.. Either way you out lived just about anyone that gave a shit about you anyway.. Congrats

Find out how you will die, Take the Death Quiz now!

i think so too...

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6:12 pm - poems/songs from yesterday/today
(not finished)
Why should I care if the steamy red flows on to the paper as I’m writing?
Why should I wonder if I really dab at it with a tissue or my towel

I know you don’t.
So why should I?

I don’t need this bull from you
I’d rather cut than go to school

Everyday it’s the same old shit
And everyday I forget my own name

(not finished)
Everyone is crooked
I'll just follow the crowd

What's the harm in that?
We'll get out somehow

We have years and years to waste
And the apocalypse isn't soon

You tell me to think ahead
I can't think past noon

I don't need this subjection
And I sure as hell can't deal with the rejection

Go and think for now
Let me know soon

I have some time to kill
Smoke up till noon

It'll fade away quickly
And reality will hit

I can't deal with this now
I'll meet you on the moon

I'll wrap myself in black plastic
And hide away from you
I'll cut myself senseless
And make you do it too

Can't you see the metal glisten?
It peels my skin back
The red trickles down my wrist
Slowly I fall back

The battle scars glow dim
I frown in quiet defeat
For now I've lost the battle
I've fought against myself

My hair is jerked back
I shudder with disgust
It is my defiance that is keeping me sane
But even that won't last

I am thrown on the gravel
I can feel pebbles slice
The old scars are opened
And new ones arise

The sweat drops are heavy
They are salt for my marks
What can I do now?
I won't last till sunrise

I stepped in mud
I stepped in shit
I stepped on the world
Ten years back

No one noticed
No one cared
They said
"Oh well, let's go"
Nothing mattered

But I
Not the world
Slowed to a halt
Ten years ago

It was a warning
A cry for help

The children on the streets
They died
Ten years back

Nothing could be done
Nothing could be changed

Well this is a warning
A cry for help

They think they know
They try to understand

And the world keeps turning
But I fell off Ten Years Back

current mood: cold
current music: "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend" The Ramones

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Sunday, May 4th, 2003
11:09 pm - gggrrr
oh god..people, please please stop with the copying , posing, WHATEVER you call it
it is fuckin annoying!!!!!!
do NOT put up an artist if you never even listened to the goddamn band..and DO NOT be proud to say such things as "i WENT punk"
cause then you don't even know what that MEANS!!!!!!!!


it is annoying as hell

yes, thanks

current mood: angry
current music: "prayer" Disturbed

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10:49 pm - second week of school begins
ahhh..what an unusual day

for the fuckin hundredth time..i wish i had my camera

as you know..that rally thing on 96th and 5th..yes, i was there..but left before it started lol.
but i'm SURE that i saw the best part--a guy with the same EXACT bush mask as mina, with bloody hands, holding the world, wobbling up and down the street, throwing the world up in the air and every few minutes, cackling 'it's mine!'...what a wonderful sight =)
now bush should DIE

well, then went to the street fair, bought a couple of goodies and saw strange people and old pervs..yucko cacko!

then nirvanica FINALLY came and went to see XMEN2..it's not total crap, but thank god that annoying bitch dies!
but where is sexy pyro, and the old wizard? =(
...soooo confused.....

oh yeah..and the morning, sexy depressed male came..then left
and HAPPY BIIRTHDAY LENYA..it was yesterday..but what the hell do i know? his parents could be lying for all HE knows!! mweeeehheee

yesss..i suposse that is it. it. it.


current mood: good
current music: "Barely Legal" The Strokes

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Saturday, May 3rd, 2003
4:12 pm - new pic
score...finally figured out how to work this piccie thingie

soooo my new pic is...


(yes, oksana, that IS his nickname)

tsk tsk..my obsession cannot be swayed..

current mood: accomplished
current music: "Prayer" Disturbed

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3:49 pm - yesterday
well i finally cut fourth...weeeee!!
spent it with michelle, sachio, katie, emma, nirvanica, etc
hanes and joy went to st.marks
sooooo..no nicotine for me =(
looked for pacman...no pacman in sight =(
...and batman got arrested for possesion
sucks to that..

right-o..i snagged another
i got veronica to cut!!! woohoo
soooo surprising! =D

well, since hanes left for st.marks
i was there with nirvanica, lol
nothing particularly interesting..
but squirells are sooooooooooooo dumb
i swear to god....took me ten minutes to chase one down...and what did it do??
it climbed a tree!!!! lucky bitch..

pretty music during 9th =DD

ALMOST pantsed pacman on bus
literally l..........l this close, lol

hung out with yelens and nirvanica after school
the dumb monkey asses were there too..seriously.....wtf is wrong with them?????
they are SUCH idiots..so we left..yeah, lol

then loco like a coco visited =D
kinda possesed me and nirvanica..rofl
freaked out yelena a bit i suposse
oh i love scaring people!!!!

then we met two complete strangers...completely forgot the name of their band..and i deleted yelens convo..so now i don't even have the website..oh well, i'll get it later again.

alrighty..well off to make clothes...hopefully i won't unpurposefully cut myself!!


current mood: creative
current music: "What To Do" OK Go

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Monday, April 28th, 2003
7:09 pm - today
ah well today

gym-i gots a random hug =). random hugs are nice. and yeah..julie fell of the balance beam. rofl...well i wouldn't exactly say fell..she was still umm.. hanging?...but yeah..

got to hear yet some more of strange school info...harry pulled the switch blade on carter after carter turned ben in....stupid ben...even stupider carter
the whole situation amuses me

lol, i'm still thinking that if it's a frat party why is there only a bathtub full of punch in 'heaven'..is it spiked? if it's not then i see no point...lol
that reminds me..i have to get meself a black light

ahh my converses are wee little models (aka. they had a pcture taken, lol)
oooo..that ALSO reminds me..must ask yelena for look-alike orli pics to blow up and hang in my room for further molestment =D

my conclusion: oksana is cool..anyone who owns a Thumper is cool on my planet *squeezes thumper to death*
me: *laughing incontrollably* but she friends with a lake!!! a l-a-k-e!!!! *HAHAHAHA*
oksana: no stupid, it's a puddle..he dried up....idiot
me: *continues laughing...now wheezing a bit as well*
nirvanica: ppsshh..
oksana: i see you're mad...
nirvanica: you just don't get!
me: but he still swallowed her shoe!..a lake!!!! *hahaha*
oksana: *kicks me*

no pacman on bus =(
stupid pacman

current mood: giggly
current music: "Head Club" Taking Back Sunday

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6:12 pm - people do stump me
oh dude, wow...some people are FREAKS there is just no other explanation for their behavior...i mean i know i am one too, but it's always something to watch another one in action...they're just so damn entertaining!!





if interested...convert and let me know...no questions asked


current mood: peaceful
current music: "clicks on the keyboard" my fingers

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Sunday, April 27th, 2003
4:02 pm - the good ones

Which Annoying Two Towers Character are You?
By Lisa

AHHHHH!!!! LEGGY!!!!!!

Your Ideal Guy Is Legolas Greenleaf! He's the
strong, silent type with long blonde hair that
you're just dying to curl in your fingers, sexy
high cheek bones, pointed ears that just beg to
be nibbled and the well-toned arms of an archer
that are just raring to sweep you off your feet
and carry you to his bed chamber...we're sure
he's quite ready to show you *his* arrows...

what Lord of the rings man gets you hot?
brought to you by Quizilla

oh of course.....

I am...

I'm Orlando Bloom!

Which Fellowship Actor are YOU?

a little confused..but still damn sexy!

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3:23 pm - a random
not too encouraging is it?

You're the sad smile,the one that regrets nearly
everything and is constantly wondering about
what could have been.You're not happy with your
situation and usually blame yourself because of
the bad things that have happened.Cheer up.

What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

current mood: listless
current music: SinCity-Hot Rod Circuit

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Saturday, April 26th, 2003
10:11 pm - oh poo...
i hate hate hate this!!
i was sposed to go..but did i??? DID I??
no one could take me and i ceirtaintly wasn't going back alone @ 4 in the morning
and it was going to beee ssooooooo much fun!..you know what i mean, val!! lol
i was looking forward to this for at least a month

no fun for me

and it's only once a year.......

*folds into self and rolls away*

current mood: melancholy
current music: Jewel--Hands

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12:25 am - laziness. another side-effect of hunger
that literally just popped into my head...i really have nothing better to think about do i?..i'm not even hungry!!
no, waaaaaait..eh, never mind


and someone remind me on monday to ask sasha for yelena's art supplies, so that as she says "i won't be screwed"

night to you. i will now say bye to my im convo and stumble under the covers

current mood: groggy
current music: the rain...it smells good...mmm...go.sniff it.now

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Friday, April 25th, 2003
11:54 pm - my NEW account
yes. hi
this is my NEW account. my other one was elf_amusement. i had a first entry on that one
but other than that...so far the two are pretty much the same

elvish=a very peculiar way of life
euphoria=complete joy

current mood: regular
current music: Punk Rock Song-Bad Religion

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