| this is halloween!!! |
[06 May 2003|09:32pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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nightmare before x-mas |
] |
ugh...nightmare before christmas...my love!!!...shanna has a major obsession with that movie...and i think i found a new mode of feeding my craving...one of the little girls that i help teach dance to mom's like loves the movie and a friend of hers like does p.r work for the movie or something so she's like yeah i'll get you stuff...ugh...best freakin movie ever...i'll have to watch it this weekend...damn...my throat hurts a lot...and i feel like i'm gonna throw up...bla why do i feel like shit???...ok i'm done with this entry...gonna go play cell phone games...lol
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| a poem i wrote a little while ago... |
[06 May 2003|05:05pm] |
if you only knew
how i felt inside
you'd promise me now
you wouldn't have died
all the feelings have stayed
and i know that it's true
i couldn't imagine myself
with anyone but you
although it does hurt
i try not to cry
but my feelings are strong
and they cannot lie
you promise me so
that's you'll always be here
but i go to sleep
with thoughts of fear
i'm afraid you have gone
and you're not around
it seems you have left
without making a sound
this one is for you
and it's from my heart
i just want you to know
it kills me for us to be apart
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| my freakin weekend... |
[04 May 2003|10:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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trapt-stories |
] |
let's see...friday...i did absolutely nothing...well actually after school molly came over and then we traded pants and then went to home depot and then costco...yummy costco...and then we came home and i drove her back to school to get her car...and then i came back home...and did nothing...just took a nap and watched some good ol television...went to sleep kinda early...i was feeling pretty depressed so i just kinda became hermit like and like didn't move at all unless i was getting food or like getting in and out of bed...
saturday...woke up at like 11...then did some homework here and there...talked to j.r...took a shower...did some math homework...fun yeah...and then told my parents me and j.r were gonna go see a movie in westwood...instead went to his house cuz his parents weren't home...got lost on the way to his house...god damn construction...finally made it to his house after much confusion...we decided to watch x-men...didn't really see much of it...ahem ahem...cough cough...yeah anyways...let's just say if wasn't such a god damn girl it would have been a lot more fun...but hey...i'm not complaining...it was loads of fun...so i chilled at his house till like 11.15 and then drove home...
today...had to take another 3 hour a.p practice test...fun shit...then came home and then my parents went to a museum for like 5 hours so i got to chill at home...but i actually had work to do which i finished like an hour ago...and now i have to clean my room but instead of that i am typing this...which is really wasting my time but yeah...whenever my room gets so incredibly messy i don't want to clean it...like there is this certain point where my room is just too messy to clean...like sometimes i don't mind cuz i get ocd moments and i like have to clean...but it's so fuckin messy i just want to leave it how it is...but if i did my mom would kick my ass...it's gonna take like half an hour...bla stupid crap...god school needs to be over...i can't last anymore!!!!....aaaahhhhh!!! (me screaming)...ok...i should really clean my room cuz i want to sleep tonite...doesn't look like that will be happening since my room is such a fucking mess...and ants have decided to invade my room...they're like in my bed and stuff...i've killed about 15 in the past 5 minutes...it's sick...it's cuz the rain stopped and after rain all the ants come out and they decided to come out in my room...they are so annoying!!...ok enough of my venting about ants in y room...ok!...gonna go attempt to clean room now...
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| ugh...bla...goo... |
[29 Apr 2003|09:37pm] |
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i'm tired...bored...hungry for some unexplainable reason...damn hunger...hunger is bad...cuz then you eat food and gain weight...god damn...my computer is being super slow...pooo...oh well...this is gonna be another short entry cuz yeah...no one bla...
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| god it's only monday...????? |
[28 Apr 2003|09:52pm] |
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god damn...only monday...i don't know if i can last till june...i don't know if i can last till fuckin...like may...aaahhhhh!!!!!...too much stuff to do...i hate school...hate tests...hate teachers...hate everything!!!!...meh...just a vent...nothing important
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| boys need to die!!! |
[27 Apr 2003|01:25pm] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
] |
well not really cuz then we'd all be lesbians and that would just be way too freakin weird...but anyways...guys are such cock suckers...like gggrrr!!!...pisses me off so much...just a god damn phone call...like you don't have 2 god damn minutes to pick up a phone...press a few buttons and open your mouth...or at least if you're not gonna call...don't say you will!!!...that's what i hate the most...like it's one thing if they say i'll try to call or i don't think i can or call me later...but don't be all let me call you back in 2 minutes and then i don't hear from you for 2 days!!!...and i bet he's not gonna fuckin call ever...and if i ask him what happened he'll just be like it's a long story...you ditched me and i am justified to a truthful explanation!!!!...i could fuckin scream i am so pissed off...ok...breathing now...yes breathing...i just want him to call so i can bitch his head off...ok...i'm good now...i got to vent...time to go study for a.p
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| life sucks... |
[26 Apr 2003|05:13pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
] |
well last night i was supposed to go out and see my friend...i got all ready and then i called him and he was like "let me call you back in a few minutes"...he never calls...i call him on his cell phone like 4 times...no answer...i end up staying hom elike a fuckin loser cuz he bailed on me...so i called him like 20 minutes ago and i was like what happened last night?...and he's like ugh i'm such a mess and i was like well what happened...and he's like a bunch of stuff it's a long story i'll call you later and explain...i'm guessing i'll never hear from him unless i call him...it's gay as hell...like probably something stupid happened where he got drunk and is gonna make a stupid excuse for not calling me back...it's fuckin ridiculous and it sucks cuz now i'm still at home doing homework and i want to leave my house but no one is picking up their phones so it looks like i'll have another night at home watching t.v with my parents...it's really quite depressing...and tomorrow is not gonna be much better cuz i have to take a 3 hour test in the morning and then i have to study for math with my friend cuz i need to get my grade up in that class...i need to get out of my house!!!!!!...i have too much on my mind...part of me wants to just drop everything and just slide by through life...but the logical realistic side of me knows that i can't do that...i just want to disappear and have it suddenly be the end of my senior year and not have any memories of this and just be over with all of this bullshit!!!ugh...enough bitching...i have to go fill out flashcards for my a.p english test...
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| a real entry...(ooo...aaahhh)... |
[25 Apr 2003|06:28pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
] |
yeah...i'm actually writing...no more quizzes until i find some cool ones...haha...so gonna go see a movie with my hook up buddy...but need to find a good time...i want to go see identity...but i'm not sure he does...well i'll force him...and it's supposed to be scary...so it's a good excuse to hold on to him...hahahaha...funny shit...aren't i hilarious?...yeah not really...i should get dressed...even though he hasn't called me back...meh...i'll just call him at his hizzouse...ok...i'm done...thank the fuckin world that it's friday!!!!!!
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| quiz time!!!! |
[22 Apr 2003|10:27pm] |
You're not so much depressed as you're totally
freaking insane. Kati would be friends with you
because she's just like you. You could stay
over her house and make pasta and biscuits at 4
am. You're also astoundingly similar to Invader
Zim's GIR. Viva la little robots wearing green
dog suits! Let's make biscuits!
How Depressed are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.
What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
oh yeah...you know you love dem quizzes
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| stupid blurty... |
[22 Apr 2003|10:01pm] |
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mood |
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stressed |
] |
i tried to update a while ago...but then like it wouldn't save...and then my computer completely shut off aol...and then i tried to go back on and it froze...so then i had to restart my computer...so by then i didn't care anymore about the entry...it was just me bitching anyways...nothing that anyone really cares about...started costumes today...oh shit...i have to do french homework...crapola...it's 2 assignments cuz one of the pages is not in my book...so i had to make a photocopy of someone elses book...fun shit huh?...i feel really fat right now and my nipple is hurting...i hope it's not infected...that would suck like no other...i guess i have to go back to cleaning it twice a day...i stopped cleaning it all together and it was fine...but now it's all hurting and less of the ring is showing...nuts...oh well...i'm lonely!!!!!!!...help!!...eh no use in trying...i'm over it...life goes on ya know?...meh...peace out
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| wow...just freakin wow... |
[17 Apr 2003|09:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
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trapt-still frame |
] |
well aren't parents just a bitch...see today...my friend who i happen to hook up with every single time i see him...i went to pick him up from his work...then we rented a couple of movies...and man...the movies weren't even important...yeah...lots and lots of fun...you may be asking..."well why did she mention that parents are a bitch?"...well i would be writing a completely different entry if my mom had not been home...haha yeah...damn her...well some day soon i hope...cuz yeah...really want to...it would be loads of fun...soon though...and in a little bit he should be getting his own place...so that will be even more fun if ya know what i mean...i'm bad...but ya gotta love it...yeah...well i gotta go do history homework...fun fun...
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| ahhh...college... |
[16 Apr 2003|04:02pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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trapt-echo |
] |
just got back from a 3 and a half day college trip/tour thing...stopped at ucsd...san diego state...and the claremont schools...i want to go to uc san diego so badly...like wow...it's amazing...it's a beautiful campus including beautiful boys...it's in a great area...the academics are great...it's seems like a fun fun school...and san diego state is gonna be one of my back up schools for sure...everything is great there...it just doesn't take much to get in...and i mean like nothing...all you need is like a 1035 or something on your SATs and like a 3.4 G.P.A...like yeah...that's not anything...cuz maybe if i went there for like a year or something i could transfer to ucsd...which would be fine...but i just really want to get in...that's all...ok...enough about college...ummm...stuff...yeah...i don't know what to talk about...except i think i am starting to like someone who i really shouldn't be liking at all!!!!!...bla!
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| just as i thought... |
[12 Apr 2003|02:25pm] |
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mood |
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 apathetic |
] |
well turns out my dad's friends older son can't come...i knew something like that was gonna happen...there is a slight chance he might...but it's more likely he's won't then he will...damn...my life just works itself out like that...like everytime something good may happen...something gets in the way...damn his mom...cuz see i guess she made plans for him and didn't let him or his dad know (his parents are divorced)...but he still might be able to...i can hold on to that dream...well i'm gonna go anyways...i want to see phone booth...so i might as well go...and i bet if i didn't go...he would be able to go...so i might was well go and try to enjoy myself...
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bored
