[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Wednesday, November 30th, 2005|
My Advice to You
As a freshman in college, I have experienced the whole high school thing and now experiencing the college life. Throughout high school I was surrounded by the most judge mental and stuck up people you will ever meet. I was the girl who talked to everyone. No matter of their popularity or the rumors I may have heard about them. The girls that I tried to be friends with would give me dirty looks and talk behind my back. It upset and bothered me at first and then I came to my senses and realized I didn’t need these kinds of people in my life. I had a best friend all through middle school and apron entering high school; we quit talking because of a stupid little fight that I can not even remember what it was about. We began talking again the beginning of our senior year. We became the best of friends again and after graduation, she moved to Florida. A few couple of weeks ago I lost a class mate due to a work accident. He was only 19. I went to his showing and while standing in line to see him, I thought about how when the time comes for our class to meet up again, he won’t be there. The kid that I had gone to school with ever since kindergarten won’t be there and our class will never be complete. It is like missing someone from my own family. Leaving all of the drama behind in high school and coming to college was a big step. The people here are mature and are here for a reason. I keep to myself most of the time and do what I got to do.
We all know about boyfriends. Ever since my sophomore year in high school, I have been dating the same guy. He was the person I fell back on when I would come home from school or where ever and complain or cry because of something that had happened that day. I became more and more attached to him and it led me to put him first over my friends. So one by one, I lost all of my friends. When my boyfriend and I would fight, I had no one to talk to so I would give in and drop the situation just so I could have someone around. I like to do things right and I strive to do better than satisfaction. As for my boyfriend, he thinks what I do the first time is good enough. Things like this I just ignore and do what I want to do.
So I guess what I am trying to get across to everyone is keep your friends close by and do not loose touch with them. You never know what will be the last thing you will say to them. When I quit talking to my best friend and waited to my senior year to make up, she moved away and now she isn’t around to do things with me. My classmate that recently past had a future ahead of him and was working to pay his way for things. Everyone used to make fun of him in high school and now they can not even apologize for their behavior. It makes me feel good that the people that I talked to in high school can see me out about and won’t be embarrassed to wave or say high. You can never have enough friends and don’t let other people make you out to be someone you are not. As for boyfriends, my advice is to wait until you are done with school! They are nice to have and everything but it gets a point where you want to spend all your time with them and not do anything else or they may end up talking you into doing something else and putting your school work behind. Even though my boyfriend was there for me to fall back on, I wish I didn’t start dating at such a young age because I missed out on a lot of stuff. Don’t let you boyfriend take place of your friends because your friends need you just as much as you need them. Just because someone wants you to do something doesn’t mean you have to. Make your own decisions and not let others do it for you. Always say your sorry for things you did wrong, don’t hold any grudges over someone because you may never get the chance to say you’re sorry, and don’t always look on the negative side. Things will go your way if you intend for them to.
Current Mood: calm
|Tuesday, November 29th, 2005|
So the day before thanksgiving I went to the mall to buy a new outfit for thanksgiving because I like to look nice for the holidays. Plus, Chad’s family always sees me in scrub clothes or jeans and a hoodie. The day of thanksgiving I did not have shoes to wear with the new pants I bought so I ran out to wal-mart and found a cute pair of dress boots to wear. So as I go home and get ready to sit down and have turkey with Chad’s family at 3, I begin to feel like I blew everything out of proportion. I didn’t need to go out and spend $55 dollars on a new outfit. Just to find that I was the only one dressed up! I was so embarrassed and wanted to run home and change my clothes. I seem to freak out every holiday and require myself to go out and buy a new outfit just to impress people which end up costing me a lot of money and getting pissed at myself for doing it. I could have just worn my usual and still fit in with the rest, but no I wanted to actually look nice for once. As for that, dinner with Chad’s family wet pretty well. We stayed for only an hour though because my family was eating at 4. We get there and nothing is ready, the tables are not set, and it is smoky in there from everyone smoking that my eyes begin to burn real bad. Chad and I ended up leaving and coming back. We were at my grandma’s house twice as long as we were at his and it made Chad mad. He should know that my family is never on time for anything! That night we went back to my house and went to sleep because all the turkey we ate made us tired.
The day after thanksgiving, also known as black Friday, Chad and me woke up and went to the mall at 5am! There were so many people there. I felt really bad though because Chad had to be at work at 7 and I knew he could have used an extra hour of sleep, but hell I wanted to go shopping. So I have been on this shopping spree for like the past month. I want to get all of my Christmas shopping out of the way. I have been to the eastwood mall 3 times in the past four days and it is about 25 minutes away from home. Yesterday I was able to run in and finish my mom and grandma because I was on a time limit. Maybe I should be put on time limits more often because I seem to get things done that way. Last night I got most of the gifts wrapped. I just can’t wait until *Christmas*
Last night when I had gotten home from the mall I had noticed that my air mattresses were looking kind of flimsy. I blew it up and 20 minutes later it was deflated. So I searched for the hole and found it. It was a pin hole. So I patched it up and the f***** deflated again and I’m pissed. I just want a new bed to sleep in and that is what I should have bout than those stupid air mattresses. I have been working a lot lately and the Wednesday before thanksgiving I had to work until 2am. Just because of those last minute shoppers. Yesterday I didn’t come to school because Chad talked me into going to chucky cheese’s with him and his family. I wasn’t so worried about math class because it was a lab day but as for English, I have a good grade in there and I hope that I didn’t miss anything important yesterday because I want to keep my good grade. See Chad thinks I should just settle for satisfaction but I can’t do that. If I know I can do better, I want to. I like always, have been very stresses out and have been taking it out on my family and Chad. I don’t mean to but it happens. This morning I felt real bad because my brother asked me to give him a ride to school and I told him to tell dad to take him. So I got up at 9 to see him sitting in his bedroom, I go down stairs and ask my dad why he didn’t go. My dad says because I couldn’t get up and take him, I had a headache. So then I told my brother I would take him when I left for school but he didn’t want to go. I feel so bad now that I didn’t get up and take him but I also do not see it as my responsibility to make sure they go, I m not the parent. Maybe I need put on medication or something lol because I am a spas, grump,bitch, anything you name it because of the lifestyle I live. Oh yeah, and I'm sure you would be too if you shared a room with two other girls and had no room to walk or do anything! I should have just gone away to college somewhere.
Current Mood: stressed
|Wednesday, November 16th, 2005|
Taking Life for Granted
So I come home from school on Monday and my brother who is a sophomore in high school, came up to me and told me that Harry died. Harold Zook, aka Harry is a boy I went to school with ever since kindergarten. He was the boy who had the mushroom hair cut all thought elementary school. The other boys used to make fun of him because he wasn’t circumcised. I don’t know if this is true or not but it’s not his fault that he never had that done. He was that sweet boy who was always around to give you a laugh and help you with your school work. Harry did not attend graduation and walk across the stage with us. However, he still managed to graduate. As you all know after graduation more than half the people do not keep in touch anymore. As for me, I am always thinking about my old class mates and what they are up too these days. The last time I saw Harry was about a couple of weeks ago when I was driving down my road to come to school, he was working for West Penn. This is a tree cutting service. It was around 10:30am and I had noticed it was him working in a front yard. That same day, I was driving home from school and he was still there. This was now around 1:30pm. The last time I saw him. Harry lived a rough life. He lost his dad when he was little, lost his house completely in a tornado three years ago, and now lost his life to a tree. He died from a pulley cable strapped to a tree that pulls the tree down once it is cut. The cable snapped, hitting him in the head. I still don’t want to believe that this had happened. He was one of those kids that liked to drink and smoke some weed here and there, but he never interfered it with his work. From what I heard from a girl I work with is that the owner of the company does drugs. The owner is my brother’s friend’s step-dad. I don’t know if this is true. They are investigating the accident, and they did an autopsy on Harry yesterday morning. It is the saddest thing to get on aim and see everyone’s info. Saying that the good die young and rip Jr. We called him Jr when we were little. I hope that all the people who made fun of him feel like shit now because it was wrong. I cry every time I think about him because I went to school with him ever since I was five years old. After graduation I lost touch with almost everyone and now that he is gone, it’s like I'm missing a part from my family. He is no longer with us and all we have are his memories. Rip Harry* 11-14-05
So I get this email from my friend down in Florida. She was getting off of work on night last week and was walking through the employee parking lot with her boyfriend and friends. They heard this loud scream from across the parking lot and her boyfriend and friend take off running and jumping a fence that leads straight to the busy road. A 16 year old boy was messing around and tried to beat a car that had a green light. A 19 year old girl had hit him. Britany and her friend later on jumped the fence to see this boy lying in his blood. Helpless. He was taken to the hospital and still there today in critical condition.
Things like this make me realize everything that I take for granted. I sit and think about Harry not being able to start a family and live a life like the rest of us. The 16 year old boy that got hit by a car may never walk again and there’s me, complaining about a little ache here and there.
Lately, I have been snapping out on my family for no reason and it makes me depressed because I never mean it when I do. The best thing I can do is apologize but I always back out. I snapped last night because I came home from Chad’ house right when my brother, who is 15, and his friends were going to take my car. Well not my car but the car I share. My brother was like, I already got permission from dad and I was like the hell you did. I just hate the idea of his friends driving my car. If my brother had his license and asked to drive then I wouldn’t care. But not his friends. This is not the first time I freaked out about this though. See earlier in the day he asked to use it and I didn’t care. But last night Chad fought with me and it just felt good to flip out on someone else. So thanks to Chad, I am psycho. I am carrying it on to today, and it is a bad day, I don’t want to go to work and I just want to catch up with my math work and go to bed.
Current Mood: depressed
|Wednesday, November 9th, 2005|
Garden State Pt. I and other junk
Some of the things that I found interesting or stood out in the movie were:
1. Andrew’s mom died in the bathtub, she drowned.
2. I thought the lady singing at his mom’s burial absolutely did not know how to sing.
3. The use of the word f*** was used a lot throughout the various conversations.
4. The lady who sang at his mom’s burial was a friend. She had helped Andrew’s mom decorate the bathroom right before she passed. She also made a shirt for Andrew out of the same design that was put up in the bathroom.
5. Andrew got pulled over going 82 mph in a 25mph zone on a motorcycle. The police officer who pulled him over was an old friend. Last time Andrew saw Kenny, he was sniffing coke from a urinal.
6. Andrew was late for a doctor’s app. And a blind lady walks in with a dog that begins to hump Andrew’s leg. A young lady sitting in the waiting room listening to music, tells Andrew to kick the dog in the bawls. That is what she does with her dogs to leave her alone. Andrew instead lets the dog finish his business. The Chins is the name of the music this lady is listening too. Her name is Sam.
7. Andrew gives Sam a ride home, after making a pit stop to his friend’s mansion.
8. Same is a very unique and different.
I think the relationship with his dad wasn’t that great because every time his dad would call, Andrew would just let the phone ring, ignoring the phone call. Andrew seems like he needs to find himself and figure out his life. I also thought that the people who were burying Andrew’s mom, talked very ignorant. They said that Andrew can come over and party with them after they bury his mom. Sam is very outgoing and Andrew thinks she likes to lie for fun. They met at the doctor’s office and she said she was waiting for her friend. When the real truth is she was waiting to see the doctor herself. She had a little cemetery in her back yard where she buries all her little animals. Andrew helped her bury her hamster, Jelly. He died because Sam forgot to take the wheel out of his cage that was too big for him. This is pretty much all of the movie I have seen so far. I really don’t have a prediction to what will happen next or to finish off the movie.
I have relieved so much stress after I turned in the essay that was due in English. However, it was garbage. I could have done so much better with it but as always, I have to make everything harder than what it really needs to be. I just feel overwhelmed with all the school work that I am trying to keep up with. I am starting to worry about my sociology grade because I really do not understand where I stand in that class. If I did figure it out right, I need to get my ass in gear here. It makes me mad because this class is pretty much a repeat of the class I had in high school. Only difference is that the professor likes us to memorize every possible name on earth and their theories. After English today I have to go over to Student Center for Progress so my peer assistant can help me figure out how to schedule for spring semester. I can tell now that this is starting to cause stress on me. I would like to live a life stress free but that is nearly impossible.
All my blurties seem to talk about the same thing. What can I say, I have a boring life. I need to put pictures on myspace and facebook because I haven’t had any on there for quite some time now. I’m sad. Growing up my sister and me fought a lot with each other. Now she has a boyfriend and she is never home. When I do see her, I see her boyfriend too. He goes to school down in Pittsburgh so she stays the week down there with him. They got a kitty together and yesterday when I was at work, they came in to buy food for the apartment. It makes me sad and mad at the same time because for one, she is younger than me and two, I have to listen to my dad’s shit about her but when she is home, and he won’t say anything to her. I just miss now having her around all the time and doing things together
|Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005|
Family and Fears part II
Family plays a huge part in everyone’s lives. Some contain fewer members than others and some are afraid to admit their relations to a member. Every family is different and unique in their own way. I was one of the lucky ones to be put into a family that always have a story to tell or go out on a limb and do something goofy. My family in particular stands out from all the rest. It consists of my parents, two brothers, and two sisters. My parents separated my freshman year of high school and left me as the oldest to take on the role of “mom”. This is when I learned to cook, clean, wash clothes, listen to everyone’s problems, and most of all, leave my childhood and prepare for the real world. My family is far from typical. I am the oldest of five children and we all live with my dad. My mom lives about twenty miles from our home. Occasionally, I’ll take the drive to visit her; however, we have our differences because of my boyfriend. Sometimes I want to kick myself in the ass because she usually is right about him but I do not want to admit that to her. Anyways, outside of my immediate family come several aunts, uncles, and cousins. I mean my dad came from a family of nine children; six of the nine have their own children, and is averaged over twenty grandchildren and great-grandchildren. So you do the math. Family gatherings are chaotic and crammed into an average sized home. Everyone talks about each other and somehow the story always seems to get changed around. No matter what though, we will always be there for each other. Sometimes I don’t even think of my girl cousins as a relative but more as a best friend because we are close in age and know a lot of the same people. My other side of the family is not quite so big. There are only eight grandchildren in which I am the oldest of. I tend to not be so open with my business around them because someone always is always listening that is not supposed to be. Yeah I know some family I have. Without the gossiping and ease dropping, we wouldn’t be the family that we are.
My fears are always in the back of my mind. The two fears that I do have though come to me from past experiences. My first fear is elevators. I used to always take the stairs until sixteen months ago when my grandma was lying in the hospital taking her last final breaths and without hesitation, I ran into the hospital, jumped on the first elevator available, and watched the doors slowly close. Then to my realization of my fear, it made me begin to panic. I closed my eyes and started to sing so I wouldn’t here it moving. The fifth floors seem forever to reach. The worst thing I hate is when we would reach the floor and the elevator would stop, taking a few good seconds for the door to open. I always think is when we would get stuck. I wasn’t thinking and had no idea to what had possessed me to get on that elevator. I think as a child I would get afraid because there were no windows to look out of and I didn’t like the idea of begin in a little box that moved up and down. Perhaps, it was from watching Saved by the Bell when Mrs. Belding was giving birth in a trapped elevator or on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air when Uncle Phil and Will were stuck in an elevator for hours with people they didn’t even know. Somehow, someway, these things led to this fear. Riding in that elevator has helped me to not be as afraid as I was. I will take the elevator when it is necessary, but I do still prefer the stairs. I know I can not get stuck walking up those. My second fear is large fires, mainly house fires. A few months after my mom had moved out and got back on her feet, we went to spend the day with her. As we were leaving to come back home, my youngest sister is screaming and pointing. Pointing to a window that just shattered and had poured out black smoke. All I remember is running inside to find my mom and I could barely see or breathe. After hearing my mom’s voice we rushed outside together and grabbed a hold of my brothers and sisters. Knowing what caused the fire will remain a secret because I wish to never have to say it again. Till this day now, I am always aware of anything that is lit or plugged in because of this insecurity I hold now. My family and fears are just the beginning of who I really am.
Current Mood: stressed
|Wednesday, October 26th, 2005|
So I had mentioned before I would let you in on my crazy family I was put into. My dad’s parents passed away last year leaving nine children behind and over twenty grandchildren and great-grandchildren. My dad is the middle child of five boys and four girls. My mom’s dad died three years ago and her mom, my grandma is still here today. My mom is the second oldest of four children. On my dad’s side, I am the middle grandchild out of Joe, Kelly, Amanda, Andrea, Ashley, David, Nicole, Christina, Shawna, George, Briana, Carl, Tiffany, Chris, Lorraine, Kurt, Amberly, and Austan. On my mom’s side, I am the oldest grandchild out of Lorraine, Kurt, Amberly, Austan, Briana, Cody, and Kevin. If you have not caught on yet, Lorraine, Kurt, Amberly, and Austan are my brothers and sisters. I live with my dad and all of my brothers and sisters. My mom moved out when I was twelve years old. I see her as much as I can because se lives a little ways from my home in Sharpsville, Pa. So on my dad’s side of the family has this thing about gossiping about one another. On all major holiday’s we all go to my Aunt Dolly’s house to eat and have fun. However, it always turns into someone saying something that was uncalled for or someone did something to someone. It is all chaotic and that is just part of why I can not stick around my family for long periods of time. On My mom’s side, the family is straight up messed. There is always something wrong with them and they always seem to complain every chance they get. I love this family of mine but sometimes enough is enough. With a lot of my cousins, I am very close with them. They are more like my best friend than a relative because some are around the same age as me and we know a lot of the same people. So when I tell a story, someone actually knows who I am talking about. My oldest cousin is in the army. He was been in it for a little over ten years and he is an instructor on a base in Texas. Some of my other older cousin’s are married and having children of their own. So my family just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Imagine a regular size home that should have a maximum limit to how many people are in it. Christmas time is ridiculous. My Aunt dolly has everyone over for dinner and then she buys gifts for all the children and the adults do the secret Santa thing. There are about 30 of us smashed into, perhaps three rooms and everyone is everyone’s conversation putting their two senses in. This is such a stupid blurty but I needed something to talk about. Anyways, No matter what my family can talk shit but they will always be there for you when you fall down. My dad is known to be the tough one in the family so when something happens someone always has to say, “Kurt, take care of that.” It kind of makes me feel good because my dad is the best looking one out of the whole family. He also is a big kid at heart. Yesterday he had to take me to work and I happen to come down stairs to find him and my brothers playing football in the house. I hear my dad yelling, “I have to get to the couch!” I guess that was where the touchdown is supposed to happen. I then see my brother jump on my dad’s back and he falls to the couch. No knees bent, just straight forward. I almost peed myself because it was so funny. Well, I guess you had to be there to see how funny it was. We can not forget about my mom now. Let’s see, well my mom is very artistic and it comes in handy when I need some creative ideas. She is a good person at heart and always thinks about her children. I love my mommy and daddy. Sometimes I wonder if when they get old, will they get lonely and come back together. Hrm…you never know it could happen. My sister is one year and five days younger than me. She is like a best friend that lives with me. Now she has a boyfriend and is never home so I do not have anyone to talk to. My other sister is twelve and is beginning to mature. So maybe I will open my secrets up to her. Yeah right! My fifteen year old brother is now taller than me and I do not like that. My nine year old brother still a little brat but I still love them all. I give a lot of credit to my dad for raising five children on his own. I mean it is not like my mom was never there for us, she just was not there everyday to watch us grow.
Current Mood: crappy
|Wednesday, October 19th, 2005|
Disc. Thoughts, Misc. Thoughts
The discussion my group last Friday went okay, I thought. I did not get to say much, but I guess that means everyone else did it for me. The topic we talked about was the feelings and thoughts about being cut from an activity, sport, or even a social group. My group consisted of five people and I believe only two of us may have down the work because no one else had anything to show. I have been cut from many things so I could relate to the topic very well. It is also something that occurs to almost everyone and everyone has different feelings about it. Overall, all of our group discussions have gone really well. Maybe I will begin to interrupt and start putting my two senses in. We did not talk much about the essay that it was based on, however, when each person talked, they related it back to a time when it had happened to them.
The way I felt about the topic was that I think if you get cut from something one year, and there is always those few people who make it every year, they should have to go through the experience of being cut and give someone else a chance next year. Those people do make you try harder but in a way they can be intimidating to cause you not to do something you love. It could be out of fear or embarrassment. After I tried my hardest to make it for cheerleading and when I did, I realized it was not for me so all those disappointing feelings a brought down on my self and all the embarrassment I felt was not worth it. Also, in the essay it talked about pressure on a child being cut. I think that it could tear a child apart because they do not understand what they did wrong or why their friends made it and they didn’t. Children have not gone through the stage of confidence and it could damage their self-esteem.
I was somewhat surprised with the group discussion because everyone opened up something personal about them as being cut from something and they described their feelings about it. I learned that I was not the only one that felt bad about myself because most of us all did at one point or another. I did not think any problems arose with this topic however, when we talked about the death penalty, some felt way different than others.
Okay! Enough about the group discussion. Last night I was at work and I turned around to see Phil’s mom. Phil is the guy I talked about in my other blurty about hooking up with that YSU girl and dumping his fiancé. Anyways, I then see him and this girl leaving her name anomonous, he says, “Have you met ------?” I was like hi. That is all I could say because in the back of my head I was like, “How could he gone from having a girl who did everything for him, to this girl he just met and is already talking about marrying her!” I just wanted to talk to Michelle after I saw them but I was not trying to start anything or bring them up. She is doing so much better now without him and I am so glad to see that.
Sweetest Day was on Saturday and Chad and I went out to eat at Applebee’s. I thought it was going to be a good day, but a course, we can not go a day without fighting. He got mad at me because I wanted to go to the mall. Oh my gosh, what a baby. Today I am going to the mall after school to buy him a pair of shoes that he wants because I am such a nice girlfriend like that.
I just do not want to work anymore. Like they slave me so much that I just do not want to go back. It’s nice though because it is at the end of the month and everyone is running out of money. My blurty’s are so random that I can not stick to one topic. So that might be my goal next time I go to type one of these. It hard to do that when I just think of all these things in my head to talk about. Oh, and how about I think Chad learned how to get into this website and read my stuff. That’s okay though because now I know to only talk good things about him! Chad my luv~ haha I’m stumped because this is not long enough and I have absolutely nothing else to talk about. Well maybe if I keep bullshitting some sentences here it will help me out. Now I am finding myself annoying. I think some of blurty’s talk about the same thing and it’s getting old. For some reason none of my paper formats go the way they are suppose to so I am adding another sentence so Jen can see that it did not fall short, it just does not go the way I want it to. Never!
Current Mood: uncomfortable
|Tuesday, October 4th, 2005|
No more drama,please.
So where do I begin with all this drama… Over the weekend one of my friends came home from Duquesne to surprise her fiancé. She brought him gifts and bought breakfast food to cook him breakfast in bed. However, she came home to find him not there and she sat in her car for five hours crying her eyes out waiting for him to come home. She was devastated to find that he was with another girl. And to top it off, she is from YSU. He came over here and spent the night with her and her friends. My friend was heart broken and the next morning when he arrived home to find her there, he told her he didn’t want anything to do with her anymore and the engagement was off. I work with her ex-boyfriend and her and him are really good friends. Her ex came up to me and told me the news. He had said my friend wanted me to call her after work because she needed to talk to me. So as my day of work went on, I did my job and I then look over at my line to find my friend bawling her eyes out. I didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t like I could take her outside or anything, I was working! Anyways, I took her new phone number and told her I would call her when I got off. After she had left, about fifteen minutes later, my boyfriend comes into work to tell me the news. Like I didn’t already know. My boyfriend is friends with this so called ex fiancé of my friend. I told my boyfriend she wanted me to call her and he got pissed off. He doesn’t really care for her but I do, she is my friend. When I said I was going to call her flipped out and was like, “Well, I'm going with him then over to YSU for a party.” I was like, “The hell you are.” It seems like every time our friends fight, we fight. So I held it in after work and I busted out crying. He was supposed to pick me up from work and he told me he wasn’t and I had to call my dad. So I am waiting for my ride with my friend’s ex and I see my dad and boyfriend pulling into pick me up. I was so mad at this time and I am crying and screaming at my boyfriend because he causes so much stress on me. So my boyfriend took me home and we stopped fighting and I didn’t even call my friend because she had her ex boyfriend with her and I thought I would just talk to her later.
Anyways, this girl from YSU is so what I heard, she gets around. I saw her and I do not even think she is that pretty. This girl brought her friend also from YSU to my friend’s ex fiancé’s house where my boyfriend was. She tried talking and flirting with him, as my boyfriend told me. She is a model from New York. So the ex fiancé had some never to tell my boyfriend to ask me for directions to get to YSU so he can drive out here for the party these girls where having. I was like bullshit I was ready to go to the ex fiancés house and kick his ass. Is he stupid or what. So the ex fiancé has been hanging out with this girl for about three days now and he says she is the one. They have talked about marriage and he says they are going to move in together soon. Now, my boyfriend asked him, “How do you go from wanting to marry someone, dropping them and want nothing to do with her?” He didn’t answer. This kid is so messed up in the head and I told my friend he was not the one for her. But she loved him and I know we can’t help who we love.
So my friend is back at Duquesne and I have not got to talk to her. I need to give her a call because I care about her. I can not believe he would do that to her because she is a great person to be around. No one deserves to be treated like this and there is nothing I can do or say to help her get through this. I think the best thing to do is just be there for her and listen to her. When she came into work that day, she begged me to help her get him back. I didn’t know what to do. I don’t like this guy in the first place but I will do anything for my friends. I work with her ex and he cares so much about her. He wants her back and doesn’t think it will ever happen. I think it will because he has so love. So I am dragging this on now but oh well get over, I didn’t ask you to read it. Lol, I’m just kidding, but seriously I do not need anymore drama in my life.
Current Mood: hungry
|Tuesday, September 27th, 2005|
Nothing exciting or new ever comes around to me. I mean I attend classes here in the day and most of the evenings I go to work at a wonderful grocery store called Shop N’ Save that have the rudest and smelliest people I have ever met. I did get to know a really sweet girl who is my age and attends Penn State Shenango though. I called my best friend who had moved to Florida the second week of August and it was really good to hear from her. She got a brand new 2006 Suzuki and works at an amusement park. She runs a ride that is just like mister hide’s nasty fall at six flags all by herself! She is coming up in December and I cannot wait to see her!
Over the weekend my boyfriend cleaned my car for me, which I thought, was really sweet of him. But then again it put him in a bad mood so never again will I let him cleaned it because he claimed it took him four hours just to pick the pine needles out of the carpet. Like it’s my fault my house is lined up with pine trees! Sometimes I do not understand this boy of mine. One night he called my cell phone and it didn’t ring but it said 1 missed call. No biggy. Then later on that night he had called but I was in the restroom. Oh, did I get yelled at for not answering my phone. I’m so sorry my phone was not attached to my hand when I was peeing! So the story I got out of it why I got yelled at was because he was hungry. That’s my fault he didn’t eat right? He’s just one of those people that make you smile even though you’re mad as ever.
Sometimes I wish I could just vanish away from my family. As to they are the biggest gossipers ever. I had attended my cousin’s baby shower about two weeks ago and I walked into a room of about ten tables, but to find all of my cousins and aunts, who were sharing seats, just talking about everyone and everything. I was like this is ridiculous and it put me in a bad mood! Which I may add, none made an attempt to talk to me, but afterwards they sure did. Someday I will have to give you the low down on the type of family I was put into.
So this is how my day went today. I had classes from 11:00am until 1:00pm. I, then drove to my mom’s doctor’s appointment and picked her up. We drove to her boy slash friend’s house and him, his daughter, and granddaughter attended my mother and me for dinner. I drove and it was very nerve racking because my dad absolutely hates this man because my dad believes he is a home wrecker and destroyed my family. My dad always says if he sees him out on the street he would beat the shit out of him. So for them to be in the car with me, I was scared to run into my dad. I never know my dad is always out and about even if I'm thirty miles away it is still possible to run into him. After dinner, I took everyone home and then went to my mother’s house with her. I stayed for about a half hour because by this time it was 8:00pm. I told my boyfriend I would be home by 9:00pm. I stayed just enough to take the old nail polish off of my finger nails and repaint them the same color as the were before. My mom walked me out to my car and I got home just in time to fold a basket of clothes, pick my room up, and watch the new MTV show, The Real World. This by the way was a decent episode tonight! This brings me up to 11:00pm tonight and I am sitting at my boyfriend’s house trying to type this 2 page blurty and public reading that is due tomorrow in English class.
I am very tired at this point but I can not go to sleep because for one, I am not at home and I still have to go to the bank with Chad so he can get some money. He gets direct deposit from his paycheck and it is in there every Tuesday night at midnight. That’s kind of a stupid time but that is how things are done around here. He is getting a new job and I am excited because I will get to see him more. So I think I am going to call it a night and submit this as my work. *night*
Ok, so it is the next day and I decided to add a little more to this because I do not feel it is long enough…I have a really bad headache and it is about a gazillion degrees in this room and I think this wraps it up because I have reached the minimum requirement of two pages!
Current Mood: tired
|Wednesday, September 7th, 2005|
Out of the blue...
Well, today I joined this online journal for my English class. It is just like this other online journal that I type my plans, feelings, and all other stuff I’m thinking that moment. This journal entry is just going to be so random because I don’t have a specific topic to type about. This weekend I got rid of my bed and bought two air mattresses to sleep on. I plan on moving out soon and buying a new bedroom set. So why would I buy a new bed now and have to do it again in a couple of months! I don’t have to work today so that means I get to spend my whole evening typing a two page paper on academic integrity.
It has been a week and I am adding to this journal entry. I was off the past two days and unfortunately I have to work today. 5pm-12 am today, tomorrow, the following day, and then 8:30am Saturday morning. I hate working that late because it makes me nervous because the crazy weird dos start to come out. I also do not want to get robbed, I can’t beat anyone up. Lol!
There is just not enough time in one day. Waking up, going to school, work, and then coming home to bed, I have no life. I do not like doing the same routine everyday. Wow, I hate writing so random. I can ramble on and on about the stupidest things. I did get something accomplish something on Monday. On my day off from work, I took all my time and wrote my reading response and journal entry for my classes. I got it out of the way and now I do not have to procrastinate at getting it done. Yesterday my dad brought me to school and I felt like a little kid. Yeah my dad dropped me off at college today, you jealous?
My dog is the cutest thing in the world! I wish I could bring her to classes with me because she is only yah big, sometimes I wish she could talk. That was a little strange! It is weird how I know some people here at YSU, but one I only saw the first day, I saw one in the parking lot, and I ran into one when I was walking to my class. It has been about a week and I have not seen them yet. I’m so used to going to high school and knowing everyone in building. Here it is like starting all over again in a new school. I don’t know if I like it. At work there is this girl who constantly stares at me and it drives me up the wall and I want to say something to her but she has been there like a week longer than me and I feel like she thinks she knows more than me. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years and I remember about a year and a half ago she jumped in his car and went through the McDonalds drive thru in front of a bunch of people. When she saw me, she didn’t even care to get out of the car. What a bitch!
It has been about a week later since I’ve wrote in here. This blurty is so out of the ordinary, but that is ok if it will get me a decent grade. Over the weekend I worked Friday night 5pm till 12 midnight, Saturday 8am till 3:30pm, and Sunday 6:30am till 2 pm. A couple of weeks ago I requested to work the evening of Sunday because I had a baby shower to go to from 1-4pm. However, I did not get that but it is ok for everyone else to call off or request days off and get them. I’ve had three days off and I'm dreading to go back to work tomorrow. I’ve been gone so long that I just do not want to go back. Oh yeah, and Saturday night I went to a high school football game and I love seeing 7 year old boys walking around with their arms around young little girls. I’m sorry but that shouldn’t be aloud and I did not see one parent go up to them or anything. I mean everyone was staring at them. I do not ever recall that happening to me or even me trying t hold a boys hand at the age of whatever when I was that young! I’m very stressed out right now because I feel rushed to get everything done and I hate it! For one thing I can not sleep right at night so that helps me out a lot. Yesterday I left school here at YSU and let me just tell you I am not from around here. I live about a half hour away so I just know how to get to and from school. My mom lives in warren and she gave me directions that were totally out of my way. I mean they were the easiest but I’m sure there is a different way than the way I took. So I think I have done enough driving for a while. That is why on the weekends I refuse to drive anywhere because I do it all week long!
Current Mood: stressed