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Thursday, January 27th, 2005

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    why is nothing ever easy for me? i like him so much but i suppose its to much to ask for him to feel the same. i asked him out, he said yes, he really likes me, cant wait to meet me, but now it seems like hes changed his mind. i dont want to ask him for fear of looking like an obsessive psycho. i am obsessive though, this is beginning to take over my life. its all i can think about, day in, day out. everyones going on about their anniversaries and valentines day, and i just want to scream FUCK OFF think how the fuck i fel i have nobody and never will do. i want antony but he has no reason to like me. not when he could have someone who isnt depressed and unstable, someone who's slim and gorgeous. not me, fat, ugly, stupid, useless, obsessive freak. what did i do wrong to deserve this torture? i just want to be with him. why cant that happen?

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