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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Elladan's Blurty:
| Sunday, August 31st, 2003 | |
| 10:20 pm | The Wake *drunk at wake screaming at no one in particular* I KNOW NONE OF YOU LIKED HER! *watching Aragorn consume the finger food* AND CAN SOMEONE DO SOMETHING ABOUT HIM! I HAVE PUT UP WITH HIM LONG ENOUGH! HE RUINED MY WIFES FUNERAL! DOES NO ONE CARE? *screams at Arwen* HOW SHORT IS THAT SKIRT! DO YOU HAVE NO SHAME? *wails* Oh, for the sake of what is good and honourable! Why me? Does no one care? *screeches* I FUCKING WELL KNOW NONE OF YOU LIKED HER YOU PACK OF SELFISH HYPOCRITICAL FUCKERS! YOU SIT HERE AND EAT THE FOOD AND OFFER CONDOLENCES WHEN YOU BARELY BROKE BREAD WITH HER WHEN SHE WAS ALIVE! WELL IF YOU HAD ALL SHOWN SOME COMPASSION MAYBE SHE WOULD NOT BE DEAD NOW. IF YOU HAD MAYBE MADE HER FEEL WELCOME MAYBE SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN IN IMLADRIS? HUH? HUH? *turns and vomits on Granny idril* |
| 6:44 pm | Determined that this should be a ceremony fitting to the memory of my dear wife I walked down the corridor towards Ada's room determined to make Estel dress in something if not preferable then at least appropriate. I was entirely willing to apply the fine tools of guilt and emotional blackmail if I found myself in the need. Indeed, I was all prepared to squeeze out a few tears if all else failed. I stormed into Ada's room prepared for battle to find Estel standing before a full length mirror wearing a black Armani suit, while Gil Galad adjusted his tie. Yes! Tie. And not one with spiderorcs on it either. A proper silk tie with no patterns or trademarks or even stains! "OMG!" I cried. " You are dressed in a suit!" Estel stared at me, "It's a funeral" he said, "You can't possibly believe I would wear something inappropriate!" Then he removed his hands from his pockets and what did he reveal upon the left one? THAT DAMN SOCK! WEARING A PONCHO! "Take off that sock!" I cried. "That sock has a name!" Snapped Estel. And it was then Gil Galad intervened. "Do you not think, Estel," ventured the ancient elf, "That considering his recent trauma that Pookie may just not be well enough to attend something as stressful as a funeral?" "Er, um..." Said Estel. "Indeed, if you truly care for Pookie, I think you would give him to me now and allow me to find someone to care for him in your absence." "Well..." And then Gil Galad took the sock from Estel's hand and slipped it into his own pocket. "Wonderful, boys!" Said Gil Galad. "Let us leave then." |
| Thursday, August 28th, 2003 | |
| 5:38 pm | Letter to Celebrian Dearest Amil, Firstly I thank you for you great assistance in this troubled time. While my twin is no where to be found, my sister still refuses to speak to me and my ADOPTED sibling has been more concerned about locating his missing undergarments - YOU at least have been willing to deal with the situation at hand. i.e. the fact my beloved wife is DEAD. Ada appears to be avoiding me. I feel very alone. However I am increasingly concerned regarding status of funeral service and requisite rememberence function. Many people keep leaving annoying little notes under my door asking when this is to be. I have tried to direct them that you can supply such information but I have been told you were "uncontactable". I know we have not always been close but if you do find your finances are in disarray and you cannot pay the cell phone bill then please let me know and we can organise a loan at very reasonable rates. I am hoping however you phone is not disconnected and that you have been able to plan said funeral as arranged. It is most important that a notice regarding time and location of funeral is issued post haste as IMPORTANT people should be there to watch us grieve from all over Middle Earth. Your Son, Elladan PS - elfton is coming, yes? PPS - |
| 12:33 am | Took to my room two days ago. No one seems to have noticed my absence yet. Sometimes I think I have the most uncaring family possible. My wife is dead and yet the major drama appears to be Estel's stupid sock. |
| Wednesday, August 27th, 2003 | |
| 11:57 am | Keep re-reading the letter from my wife. How the passing of a few weeks changes things. I think I might take some time away from work... perhaps a week or so. I should notify Diane. |
| Tuesday, August 26th, 2003 | |
| 12:32 am | This evening was the first time I had the opportunity to look through my mail since my return. It sat in a pile on my desk. A small mountain of envelopes containing the expected assortment of business correspondence, bills and statements and sympathy cards. And then among them was a pale purple envelope penned in my wifes hand: Letter I thought I understood myself better than I do. I don't really think I understand anything much at all. |
| Friday, August 22nd, 2003 | |
| 1:29 am | Flying the unfriendly skies... a trip to Imladris - Part Two Aragorn and Elladan are seated on plane seperated by Glorfindel. *snarls* Glorfindel, would you be so kind as to instruct the sorry excuse for a man beside you that MY ticket was allocated the window seat, that he is the party that claimed he was leaving Imladris to never return, that these peanuts are my property and I am under no obligation to share them and that if he doesn't fucking shut up I will fucking give him something to really fucking whine about. *leans over Glorfindel and slaps Aragorn* |
| Thursday, August 21st, 2003 | |
| 7:33 pm | Estel and I have left Minas Tirith for Imladris. We plan to meet Arwen there and finalise arangements for the funeral as well as do some nessesary but, of course, undesirable, press interviews before the funeral next week. The life of a public figure is never easy, but I attempt to conduct myself even during this time of great loss with the dignity required from an elf of my station. |
| Thursday, June 5th, 2003 | |
| 2:42 pm | Details of personal wishes of Aragorn Upon Death (in which the arrangement is permenant) or Incapacity (in which they are held in trust) Personal Effects to be distributed as follows: Kitten: Legolas Brego: Boromir Artworks: Lord Elrond Poetry: Lady Galadriel Money: Elladan, Elrohir and Arwen [sorry folks he appears to have $15.55 Gon to his name) T-Shirts: Glorfindel SpiderOrc Comics: Roger the Balrog Narsil: First born of Lady Luthien He has also indicated that he his heir in sucsession is the first born son of Lady Luthien and that until this child comes of age of coronation Lady Luthien and Lord Elladan are to rule the Reunited Kingdom it his place. A wise decision I am sure we will all agree. |
| Wednesday, May 14th, 2003 | |
| 8:25 am | Life could not be better. I really do believe we call get what we justly deserve in the end. Current Mood: gleeful |
| Wednesday, May 7th, 2003 | |
| 10:36 pm | Shady Dave. Shady Dave was the best value detective money could buy. He understood that in this brave new world Truth was dead and reality lay where you could find it. Or make it, as the case might be. When I met Shady Dave he was with the force. The Police Force. It wasn't the corruption that got Shady Dave down but the lack of vision. They lacked vision. They were trumped up muscle men who used brawn and not brains. Like hired thugs only worse because these ones were not even loyal to the person paying them in that moment. Shady Dave hated that they lacked vision, bribery and thieving was something anyone could do, they all thought the breadth of your vision was measured by how much you could make out of it. Shady Dave knew better. Shady Dave wanted more from life. He wanted to live his life like the hero from a trashy paperback novel. So Shady Dave quit the force and became a private eye. This was when he became useful to me. There is no crime that Shady Dave can't solve. And no criminal that Shady Dave can't connect to a crime. We are lucky to have Shady Dave on our team. He is worth every cent. Current Mood: pleased |
| Monday, May 5th, 2003 | |
| 7:36 am | Dear Ada, I understand that these are difficult times, and as such, I believe we need to stand together as a family. As your son, as the first born, I desire you to know that I stand with you against any malcontents (including those who masquerade in the sheep's clothing of the "poor relation"). Any assistance I can render, or comfort I can be, I consider not only my duty as your loving and dutiful son, but also a privilege and honor. Yours, Elladan |
| Monday, April 28th, 2003 | |
| 1:56 am | I think I am upset. I just went searching for Elrohir. I was sick of this silly argument. I cannot even recall what it is about or why he is not speaking to me. I have a feeling Estel is implicated but it is just a guess. Anyway, when I couldn't find him I asked Glorfindel where my brother was. Glorfindel looked surprised I had even asked such a question and then informed me that Elrohir, my twin, the person I am closest to in the entire world, has left for Lorien with Orophin and had not bothered to say farewell or even leave a note! And he has left no indication of when he will return! Yes, yes I am upset. This is what heartache feels like. OMG, it is very unpleasant. How do those emotional hysterics like Estel and the female species stand it. I feel quite faint! Current Mood: devestated |
| Monday, April 21st, 2003 | |
| 3:41 am | idiot Grandmother just recieved a hideous painting from bloody destructo-boy. it is the most awful thing i have ever seen and appears to have been painted with crayola, which is probably the only materials they will allow him in whatever halfway house he has landed in. it now hangs in the entrance to our great home. and of course bloody Ada is too busy with the G-man to care about it whatsoever. i cannot believe my family. when will they book that damn voyage, the lot of them. Current Mood: irritated |
| Saturday, April 19th, 2003 | |
| 4:24 pm | Returned home late last night. Am appalled at the state of 1. Major flooding has caused water damage to interior of house. 2. Potato Wars have caused extensive damage to exterior of house. 3. MY mother is now referring to herself as Aragorn's Amil [Are you insane? Ada can't get out of it, he is bound by a legal document, but you choose to forge such a connection between yourself and the madman. Did you NOT get my memo that suggested the House of Elrond should play down our connection to Estel?] 4. The servants have taken to wearing ridiculous T-Shirts that say: Elrond/Erestor - One True Pairing. 5. Is rumored that Legolas engaged in a passionate embrace with Aragorn (clearly Legolas needs a holiday, the stress of living in this environment has gotten to him]. 6. Glorfindel has some terrible split ends. He is really letting himself go. 7. Erestor appears to be leaving with King Thranduil. [Noooooooooooo!] 8. Gil-Galad has returned. Ada has not been seen since. Am concerned that if household continues to disintegrate at this speed then All is not doom and gloom however. Amidst the ruins there are cracks through which the sun shines in: 1. In the flooding the majority of Estel's paintings that Grandmama and Ada insisted on keeping have been sadly destroyed. 2. Estel has left our house, it would seem for the last time. He is returning to the only life of an abject failure and social derelict hobo. We all have our talents, it brings me great joy that Estel has located his. 3. The humans have all left our home for Gondor. As charming as they were, humans can be so... redundant. At least the Hobbits are small enough that they can be easily ignored. 4. My wife has returned! And she brings great news. We are to have twins. This is very exciting apparently. Indeed it will look quite impressive in our family portraits. I do so enjoy being a family man. |
| Sunday, April 6th, 2003 | |
| 12:40 am | I have not heard from Luthien. I did not expect to. But I think that part of me hoped she would reconsider her hasty departure. I do not like failure. And a marriage with a duration of less than a fortnight cannot be regarded as an overwhelming success by any Elf's standards. Then there is the other little problem in that attached to my absent wife is my child. I know that although many will turn a blind eye to an estranged wife, they will regard my acceptance of her taking of my child as a sign of great weakness on my part. The question would be then; do I care for their opinions and are they of value to me? I cannot say that I was overwhelmed by emotion when I was informed that I was to be a father. I think my exact words were, "That is news, could you pass the pepper please?" Luthien passed the pepper and responded, "Indeed. You are going to marry me." To which I responded, "No question. You wont publish that book. The reputation of your own kin is now at stake. The ravioli is superb." To which she responded, "Of course not. I am sure a re-write could be arranged. They do an amazing chocolate fondue here." To which I responded, "Indeed, the food is impressive, although I found the wine selection rather poor. I want a contractual agreement regarding the book." To which she responded, "Understood. Next weekend then?" Do not misunderstand me, I like Luthien. But one of the things I have always been most drawn to in her, is her ability to get down to business when the occasion requires. I did not feel trapped or in anyway disadvantaged by our arrangement. I thought it simply a deal that was advantageous to both parties. I was neither grateful to her, nor resentful. After all, I am of marrying age, and who better to marry than a woman who carries your heir? And so it was, the next weekend we were married. She was a reasonably beautiful bride, which is to be expected as she is an attractive woman. We read our vows and signed the relevant documents. We were married, and yet I felt the same as I had five minutes before. She kissed my cheek and said, "It is done then." I said, "yes." And I was happy with that. She seemed pleased and on the journey home we managed to muster something akin to excitement. We had enjoyed a fine weekend. I did not feel as if she was my wife, however, until a few nights later. Just as I had begun to feel the stirring of passion towards her which is characterized by regret she spoke to me as if her self-interest was now entwined with mine. It was not a bad feeling. I am unsure what I want. I am unsure what I should want. I know only that I am grateful to have Elrohir to stand beside me. My brother has only offered his love and support during this time, and never considered casting judgment on my wife or myself. In my great confusion I am sure of one thing, that I am blessed to have a brother such as he, and that I am eternally undeserving of his great loyalty. Without question he has agreed to travel away with me. He has placed the concerns of his own life as subsidiary to mine. This is no small token. And it is not one that shall be rapidly forgotten. |
| Friday, April 4th, 2003 | |
| 10:58 am | Letter to Elrohir Elrohir, Dearest brother, I have not heard from you since either my happy news nor tragic loss. I had hoped to speak with you, feeling that you alone would be able to offer counsel through this trying time. I no longer trust that others, I might once have turned to, are able to advise in anyway that is separate from their own self-interest. This is not to say I am not still loyal and committed to our family. I shall be loyal to them till the day I pass from this land, however I now realise this loyalty is not so reciprocated as I once believed. I feel I have been a stupid and blind Elf. I always believed myself so clever. But I see now my talent was only for remembering and regurgitating the cleverness of others. I am a good puppet. I always have been. I speak finely with others words and I serve others purposes well. Perhaps this is why I always felt so adequate within this household, whereas you felt invisible and Estel felt unwanted. I understand Estel more now, which is not to say I am less angry with him. I feel he treated you with disregard, brother, and an insult to you I find hard to forgive. But Estel saw with his own eyes and spoke with his own mouth, and these are not qualities valued by many. They only earn scorn and derision, it would seem. I also scorned him and at times I have been less supportive of you, in my heart, than I realise I should now have been. Perhaps our younger brother is right, perhaps there is such a thing as karma and now its biting me on the arse? And so my wife left me. And the general proposition appears to be within these halls - good riddance. And yet I cannot agree. In some ways Luthien has shown me a kind of support that no one else has. And she is the mother of my children. And regardless of our differences I have always respected and liked her. Which others may not have comprehended but I do wish they could have respected. I wish to gain some distance from this, in order to establish some clarity in a form more my own. I am thinking of taking a holiday, somewhere as far from here as I can manage. You have several months till Medical school and I was hoping you would join me. You are my brother and my twin and my other half. I feel that you could help me through these trying times and I hope you will consider joining me. Yours, Elladan |
| Thursday, April 3rd, 2003 | |
| 9:21 pm | Luthien is packing her bags. She says it has all been a terrible mistake and she cannot stay here with me. I think she is serious, she has given back the wedding ring - I thought I should have to cut it off her finger. I thought things were improving, I even thought our marraige just might be bareable... and now she is leaving! She heard that all the women of the house have left together for Lorien. She was not invited or even informed. I had no idea such a thing would upset her. She keeps screaming, "how will they treat this, if this is how they treat me" and slapping her stomach. I told her that couldn't be good for the baby... and so she started slapping me instead. Oh and she is taking the Dog. |
| 11:40 am | Luthien seems quite overwrought. She just burst into tears in front of Glorfindel. I am in a state of shock. Luthien does not cry! She yells and screams and then plots revenge. I should comfort her... but how does one do that? On second thoughts I think I might go and hunt some |
| Tuesday, April 1st, 2003 | |
| 10:35 pm | We had planned to hold off a little longer before making this announcement, however the news that my father is rearranging his affairs heralded a need to bring all into the open asap. Luthien is with child. I am to be a Father, and Lord Elrond a Grandfather... and Lady Celebrian shall be a Grandmother... and Arwen an Aunt... and Legolas and Elrohir and bloody Estel Uncles... and Lord Celeborn shall be a Great Grandfather and Galadriel and Elwing shall be Great Grandmothers... oh and Luthien will be a Mother. I hope you are all as pleased as we are. |