Below are the 7 most recent journal entries recorded in Someone or something or another.'s Blurty:

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2004
12:38 am	Disorder Rating Paranoid: High Schizoid: Very High Schizotypal: High Antisocial: Moderate Borderline: Moderate Histrionic: Low Narcissistic: Low Avoidant: High Dependent: Moderate Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate -- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 16th, 2003
12:34 pm	Hah. I just noticed what I'll become later. http://services.springstreetnetworks.com/Services/Pod/Images/uesider.jpg uesider Celebrity I resemble most: "Take Dean Cain and Colin Farrell, shake well, serve in a chilled glass." -And now I know what evil will become of me if I stay on this blurty stuff too long... KILL IT! KILL IT IN THE HEAD! (Hey, I'm wondering how many synonmyms for crappy feeling/depressed they have in the mood list.) Current Mood: gloomy Current Music: Monotone hum of my computer, soon to be lost in translation (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 15th, 2003
11:37 pm	And so Gabe kisses his first... Yet, sadly, he doesn't care at all about it. I guess it's because I really didn't want it to happen. I really do stare blankly at things when I'm thinking, let it be explosions, walls, or girls leaning on my shoulders and rubbing my arm. I keep my mouth open because I'm a mouthbreather. Sigh. Her lips were wet, but I was too scared to do anything but try to back away. And that was my first kiss in a nutshell. I'm just even more afraid because of it. There was no post-kiss euphoria. I wasn't sent into the pearly gates of heaven. I didn't even smile. I just looked terrified. That was the end of it. Gio then practiced searching chrisi's mouth with his tounge. For about 2+ hours. Sigh... I'll never understand. I still feel crappy. I don't really know Chris enough to find... joy in it. I guess. Jeez, this empathy thingy gotta go so I can go on a string of one-night stands. Damnit. Damn you empathy. Damn you. I also applied to colleges. Whee. Okay, let's admit it, 1. I don't care. 2. I'm still doubtful of me lasting through high school. Dana laughs at me because I've gotten farther than her. I dunno, I'd still rather be with her than anyone else I can think of as we speak. Sigh... At least she's honest when she says no. An honest no hurts, but a dishonest no would hurt more later. I'll get over it. Maybe (Yeah right.). But I don't know where to turn next, every other girl (that less than 10 digit number of them) lives more than 10 miles away from me. It'd be so much simpler if... I wonder if I'm really going to pull off this birthday party of mine. It started as a joke because Dana was Jewish and my birthday was on the 24th, kinda preventing me from ever starting a birthday party of my own. If it does work it'd be... interesting. I dunno. I keep on forgetting that only 2/3ish people read this journal. So blah. Let's watch as everyone gets drunk and I get into a shitload of trouble of it. Homework. Okay. Let's NOT talk about homework. Let's just say that everything is both overdue and half done. The chemicals are still at large, their crazy ways immune to the power of selective seritionin reintake inhibiters, maybe I should ask to be put back on the low grade anti-psycotic, and this time actually remember to take them every night. Maybe I should save them all the trouble and buy a 10 foot section of rope and a boy scout book on how to tie knots. Pata scares me. I guess that's the simplest way to put it. He's a nice guy and all, but he should stop following me. I mean, it's kinda disturbing. But at least I get another person to actually read The Wind Up Bird Chronicle (Underling Omitted due to fact that I know no html). I'm still wondering if I should have told him my story. But he was interested. So I guess I should have. Gio finally witnessed my family being jerkoffs. I guess I should feel -somewhat- justified in avoiding them as part of my lifestyle. And I got to beat Gio's ass in not one, not two, but three fighting games. Oh yeah, being asian is paying off. I never liked writing, especially journal writing, I don't feel like I should put out my feelings. I just don't belive that they... really matter, I guess. Not like anyone cares, because hell, I don't. If I did I'd be in a much better situation then. So don't expect many updates. I should quote that love hina episode, but I'm too lazy to pop it into my dvd player. And my sister's home. Current Mood: disappointed Current Music: XO - Elliot Smith (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 22nd, 2003
3:23 am	Hah. Forgot the random quote (Reason why the topic is what it is below.): Bug: "The Lenster's dead, but that doesn't mean he can't endorse products does it? At the very least, Benetton could fit him into on eof their sweaters. That's a two page magazine spread what there. Revlon? Len Babe must look like hell after all these years. Maybe Clinique has some nice, youthful goo they could slap on to his face---a makeover! Makeovers are the offical art form of the 1990s, you know." -Microserfs (Comment on this)
3:19 am	Hah. I didn't do any homework. Fuck. Ugggh. Yeah. Blah. Betya Gio forgets that he has to go to morning jug tomm... blah. Lonliness. Boredom. sleep. (Comment on this)
1:34 am	Uses for Lenin's dead preserved body. Blah. My internet is back working now. So I'm using it until it burns out again. In other words. No sleep... Since that's all I did when my interweb was down. Kinda sad how little life I have minus this fake connection to the outside world, and that other world... Today I randomly went out with gio to celebrate his braces being taken off... or something. I don't really know why, or care really. I just left my house and went to Jersey City on some 8:30 train. Eh. I guess that's just how I am. Desperate. I wonder if Gio would do the same for me if he could. I'm doubting it. Whatever. I'm so mean. So I just strolled over to Jersey City after taking the train to hoboken and the tubes (Path for all you youngins) to exchange place. Ate food at Flamengo, good ol' bacon and eggs, will never let me down. Met Gio Pat and Nick walking down about 10 minutes later. Hung out with them, saw sweeny along the way, watch those three do their stuff.... yeah. Went to Tower records, watch gio take a path trip. Watch gio buy tickets for this My Chemical Romance thingy. Watch gio find a girl just randomly willing to talk to him. I swear, if only I had half as much charm as he does... sigh. watch gio buy 2 hot dogs and a papya drink at gray's papya. Went back to hoboken, gio actually payed for himself this time. Which, thinking it over, is pretty dumb, he could have payed back Pat with that money. Met Erin, watched helen and his gansta boyfriend (My bitterness index is a 4 out of 5. I'm not sure why). Erin was happy today, weird enough, to see gio. I was expecting something different.... whatever. It's not my buisness anyway, and I have no real knowledge of emotions either way. Got some money back. Somehow I didn't really care either way, Jessicas boyfriend (name escapes me) still owes me, blah. Went to barnes and noble, started picking out any book that had anything weird on it, just laughing around. Met this hyper cynical kid named Donald, who hung out with us only because he hated the world and really was just lonely and insecure and fucking desperate (Yes. Maybe 4 out of 5 is kinda stretching it). Went to Hoboken station, watched weird small kid hug Erin, which at first made me saw awwww.... then... HELP US GOD... We kinda walked away after that. Cynical kid donald left 5 minutes later, thank god. I went to the diner to eat a burger and fries, Erin had a milkshake, Gio had... uh... sugar water. Eating conversation.... Gio says how much he's trying to transform his love for Christina into hate. He's doing actually somewhat good in it. He'd make a convincing domestic violence happy husband. Erin stayed quiet when Gio asked if she thought he was using her. Aww. Aww. I don't really remember/care what I said. Probably more gay jokes and stupid crap. Went home to notice that my internet is working. Yay. NOW I CAN GET MY SOUL STOLEN BY MY COMPUTER. Checked to notice that ecchi-attack is still not updating. Talked to Gio, Erin, and Dana, cause they were on and I was bored. I'm going to this haunted house thingy on friday with gio dana and tara. Woooo. It's going suck soo much. That's probably what makes it great. Dana still is deciding to be completely cut off in the ways of love and relationships. I wonder if I could blame her, nah. She got shocked to notice that all of her friends who are guys.... like... uh... guys (Somehow I shouldn't be saying this. Yeah.). She claims that I'm one of her only completely straight guy friends, woooo. Bergen County must be fagoriffic or something. Bet you that neither of us (for different reasons) remain compltely out of that circle (relationships... duh) for the rest of our high school. Mood swings were high today. 1 in the morning, one after tower records, and one starting now. Yeah. Wooo. Go kemikalz. Whatever, I can hide it, or make people just ignore me, so blah. Gio's somewhat catching on though. Maybe it's because... blah. Whatever. I'm not going to say it. I think I'm writing this too objectively. It needs more... feeling. Blah. Yeah. I still have a shitload of homework to do. God I hate it. For your viewing pleasure: I AM: Named after an Angel. Ironic. I WANT: Something... magical... I dunno I WISH: My brother was alive I HATE: Myself and most pieces of work that I make. Minus the cat with the shotgun I did for Java, cause that kicked ass. I MISS: My brother... uh... Good cartoons on TV. I FEAR: People. In general. I HEAR: The monotone humming of my CPU I SEARCH: The seven seas.... I WONDER: If there's any happy people in this world. Preferrably ones that I like. I REGRET: Being alive. I LOVE: Escaping I ACHE: Randomly I ALWAYS: Never do my homework. I AM NOT: Very interesting, contrary to popular belief I DANCE: No. No I don't. I SING: When bored. I CRY: Not very often, though I should probably do it more I AM NOT ALWAYS: Humorous, also contrary to popular belief. I WRITE: When Fr. Deebie Doobie tells me to. Also when I'm bored. I WIN: The grand prize. Wait. No. Same as Gio on this thing. Sigh. I LOSE: I dunno. My pants? I CONFUSE: Mostly everyone now. I NEED: Somebody to love" -The Beatles I SHOULD: Go outside. Goddamnit. Yes Or No... x. You keep a diary: No x. You like to cook: No x. You have a secret you have not shared with anyone: Yes, wait. Maybe no x. You believe in love: Sure. Why not. The weirdest person you know: Dan Jamison The Loudest Person you Know: Uh... myself? The Sexiest Person you Know: Hmm... uh... Wait, I don't know her, only as that picture that's saved on my computer.... damn. The Cutest Person you Know: Jason Chan! With his stereotypical chubby asian cheeks! Your closest friend: Gio, well, not really. My brother, but I guess that also doesn't really count. The People that Know the Most about you: My brother, uh... gio again. And that other guy... What is...? Your most overused phrase on IM: Yeah The last image/thought you go to sleep with: Why do I have to wake up tommorrow? Inside joke: And if I'm bad they'd have to jam a needle up my ass and put me in the quiet room. Do You...? Have a(any) crush(es): Sure, never acted on them though. want to get married: Why not. Get Emotion Sickness: And it's actually diagnosed! Think you're a health freak: no. Get along with your parents: Dad: Maybe. Mom: no. Stepmom: Blah. Like thunderstorms: And running around in them. SIGN: Capricorn? NATURAL HAIR COLOR: dark brown/black CURRENT HAIR COLOR: dark brown/black EYE COLOR: brown. BIRTHPLACE: NYC (FAVORITES ) NUMBER: Pi COLOR: Blue, grey (My sister forced me into liking it). DAY: Yesterday. The day before that. Just not today. MONTH: December/January. SNOW! SONG: Muzzle - Smashing Pumpkins FOOD: Japanese Udon Soup. SEASON: Winter SPORT: Killing people. I mean... uh... baseball? DRINK: Coke, Hot chocolate, milkshakes, root beer. ( PREFERENCES ) CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT? Well, I never made out. So I'm kinda biased towards that one. CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE? Hot chocolate MILK, DARK, OR WHITE CHOCOLATE? Milk VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE? Vanilla ( IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, HAVE YOU.... ) CRIED? Nope. HELPED SOMEONE? Yes BOUGHT SOMETHING? Yes. GOTTEN SICK? Not... really... GONE TO THE MOVIES? No. GONE OUT FOR DINNER? No. SAID "I LOVE YOU"? Nope. Haven't said it yet either. WRITTEN A REAL LETTER? Nope. TALKED TO AN EX? Don't have one. WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL? I guess this counts.... HAD A SERIOUS TALK? I can't draw the line between "serious" MISSED SOMEONE? Yeah. Why not. HUGGED SOMEONE? Yep. As a joke. Then someone hugged me. FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? Nope. FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? Friend? Name 5 bands you listen to: Minibosses, Radiohead, Smashing pumpkins, Run DMC, PuffyAmiYumi (Like I'd really know this...) Name 7 things you hate: Crowds of people, cleaning up after kids movies, being me, being forced to sleep early, homework, caring too much, feeling like crap. Would You Ever~ 1. Eat a bug? nah 2. Bungee jump? nah 3. Hang glide? why not. 4. Kill someone? Nah. (Yeah. We all know you were thinking I'd say yes) 6. Kiss someone of the same sex? For money... anything. 7. Have sex with someone of the same sex? ^^^ 8. Parachute from a plane? I'd probably not want to rip the cord.... and then get the damn plane company in alot of shit. Blah. 9. Walk on hot coals? Why not. 10. Go out with someone for their looks? I can't stand alot of people... Even if they're... pretty. 11. For their reputation? Eww. 12. Be a vegetarian? Fuck no. Meat forever. 13. Wear plaid with stripes? Uh.. is that a bad thing? 14. IM a stranger: Nope. 15. Sing karaoke? I'm asian. Let's leave it to that. 16. Get drunk off your ass? Of course. 17. Shoplift? Why not. 18. Run a red light? Probably will anyway. 19. Star in a porn video? YES! 20. Dye your hair blue? Why not? 21. Be on Survivor? Ewwwwww. 22. Wear makeup in public? Nah... Well, if it was a dare 23. NOT wear makeup in public? That's everyday. 24. Cheat on a test? Of course! 25. Make someone cry? Probably wouldn't want to.... 26. Call your math teacher a motherfucker? YES! 27. Kick a baby? Define baby. Then tell me if it's alive or not. 28. Date someone more than ten years older than you? Dating....? (Confused stare) 29. Cuss out a priest? Sure! 30. Take a job as a janitor? I'm pretty damned close right now. 32. Stay up all through the night? And watch the stars and the sunrise... awwwwwwww. 33. Drink straight espresso? Is that a bad thing? (Dunno, why not) P.S. I can't seem to find the letter in my mail that lets me validate this blurty thingy. So if this dies in a week.... oh well. Current Mood: blah Current Music: Particle man - They Might be Giants (blame pnut and erin.) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 19th, 2003
12:07 am	12AM (I'm too bored to really give this a time) Blah. I was semi-forced to start writing this because of Erin. Or probably, well, actually, most likely because of my own boredom. Which I have great amounts of. I'm not sure why I want to make a journal, or why should I start doing one now. But blah. That's just about all there is to it. Blah. I guess this is a change in pace in my life. In the past two weeks I think I've hung out with people more than in the past two years of my life. I'm not quite used to it, and I'm feeling somewhat dizzy because of it. Really dizzy. I'm not quite sure which life I wanna lead anymore. I like my old one. I really do. I think I'm going to miss watching too much cartoon network, the cold dampness of my basement, daydreaming about random crap, reading weird novels, being involved in irc chatrooms where I know no one in one way and know everyone in the other. It was so easy, so easy to follow too. I'd never change, I'd never have to make apperances, and I'd never have to worry about much except for feeling too much like crap. I'd graduate from highschool, slowly get forgotten by everyone else, then return to another oblivion in college in which it'll take me another 2-3 years to get out of my house/dorm/hand-made-foxhole, or maybe even never again. Now's there's just... complications really. I live 26 miles away from everyone but dana, I know that everyone is reading this as I speak, and I'm not sure when my self-consiousness will kick in... I'm probably going to become some type of emotional wreck like gio after getting put down (Instead of being some emotional wreck like gabe). People seem to... like me... something that I couldn't belive or imagine. I'm still lost in crowds of more than 3 people, I still have no understanding of this "relationships" and this "Going out" that many boys and girls are going through. All I know is that it usually doesn't end well. Or worse. I have yet to do all my homework. So at least some things will stay static. Stable, I like stability. I like monotony. I like... sigh. Sleep I go. Current Mood: okay Current Music: The monotone hum of my computer. (Comment on this)