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Wednesday, October 26th, 2005
5:34 pm - I have been slack....
I know, but I'm too frustrated today to write. I'll get back into this soon, maybe later tonight. I am still alive though.... Well on the outside anyways.....

current mood: Dead
current music: Straylight Run

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Friday, October 7th, 2005
12:27 am - Tomorrow....
I go home for Thanksgiving. More importantly to see Holly. I'm so scared as to how this is going to go. I'm so sick of wondering what if? I thought we knew from the beginning. But since everything got awkward for a while I don't know how she feels. I just know how I do. I have to let her know. I can't do this anymore.

I need to get some sleep. Wish me luck....
See you tomorrow.



I'm hanging by a moment here with you.



current mood: Nervous
current music: Lifehouse

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Monday, October 3rd, 2005
7:56 pm


Twelve days gone by since I have saw you last.
I'll give this one more try, I'll give it all my best.
And I'll ask "What could you be doing that is so much fun
without me by your side, without me by your side?"
And I'll take a step back, and I'll let you ahead.
And I will take a step away and see if you come back.
Because there's no more trying to make this so right,
There's no more trying, there's no more trying tonight.
We will never be the same.

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Saturday, October 1st, 2005
10:04 am
God I miss you...

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Saturday, September 24th, 2005
9:18 pm - Pearl Jam... The greatest night of my life....
I know this is 2 days late but ok. Pearl Jam was so good it was indescribable. They played for 2 hours & 45 minutes straight. They played everything from Rearview mirrow, to State of Love & Trust, Alive, Betterman, and ended with Keep on Rockin in The Free World!!!!! That is offically my new anthem for life!!!

The only ones they missed were Yellow Ledbetter, Black & Do The Evolution. Other then that they played everything. I mean after all they have so much material now that you can't play every song every night.

From the moment they hit the stage till the moment they left everyone was on there feet the whole time. They would never sit down. And everyone was so into it. Screaming at the top of there lungs the whole show. Oh my god I just don't really wanna say anything cause it will never do it justice.

Anyhow yeah 2,000,000,000,000 out of 5 stars.

I will never forget. Thanks so much. <3



Keep on rockin' in the free world



current mood: Indescribable
current music: Pearl Jam

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Wednesday, September 21st, 2005
12:34 am


Find me here
and speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place
Where I find peace again...

You are the strength
That keeps me walking
You are the hope
That keeps me trusting
You are the life
To my soul
You are my purpose
You're everything.

You calm the storms
And you give me rest
You hold me in your hands
You won't let me fall
You still my heart
And you take my breath away
Would you take me in
Yake me deeper now.

And how can I
Stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me
How could it be
Any better than this....



current mood: Lonely
current music: Lifehouse

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Monday, September 19th, 2005
8:48 pm - 3 Days Left!!!
So yeah... I'm so board. Today was normal I guess. Had Nutrition class & Pysch. Hit the gym... Blah blah.... Met a few more cute girls in my classes :).... The usual, lol.

So yeah 3 days till my Pearl Jam concert!!!!! Man oh man am I pumped!!!! My Shuttle bus will pick me up @ 7:20 Thursday and I'll be in town by 1. I'm picking up Eilish and Adam and headin in the city with my car. Adam isn't sure what time he will make it to Truro though.... This could be an issue.

Either way I am so pumped about it all. This is the one I have been waiting for. And it's been way too long... But worth the wait. I wanna spend the night Friday but I don't know what Adam & Eilish want to do yet. I know Eilish is cool with whatever but Adam may want to make an atempt to get back to school. Just play it by year I guess.

I'm still getting used to the life in Sydney. I like it overall. There is one guy on my floor named Phil that I can do without.... Otherwise I like it here a lot. Renee showed me the hiking paths behind my Rez and they are SOOO nice. Not real big, but there is a beautiful brooke & bridge & stuff. It will be a good place to get ripped/party.

So yeah I'm just sittin here alone... I am quite lonley here. I think I'm just mildly home sick. But I still just feel very blah..... Anyways I'm gonna end it here.....

Later...

current mood: Excited
current music: Kary

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Saturday, September 17th, 2005
7:44 pm - My new life
Well it's been interesting. I have been in Cape Breton now for about 10 days or so and I guess over all it's been good. I have no roommate at all so it's very nice to have my own room to myself. And my classes all seem to be good. I have met some good people as well.

I'm kinda home sick. Mostly miss Spike. I can't wait to see him in 5 days.

As usual I have been through hell with my heart. I'm so lonely here. I need someone bad. I miss Holly still. All though I don't think about her much, when I do it sucks. I met a girl here names Amy who is really sweet but of course there is nothing between us. Go figure eh...?

It's loud as hell here right now. I am supposed to go to a party in a different rez but I think I'll just chill with Chris tonight instead and get high. Right now I'm hating being here. But usually it's fine. I'm just not social enough for this kind of life... I don't know. I need a hug bad....

I hope Chris gets here soon, and I hope tonight is quiet...

Later friends

current mood: Depressed
current music: The Used

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Wednesday, September 7th, 2005
9:57 pm - I'm on they ol island bie!!!
Well I offically live in Sydney. Bye bye Truro. I'm at my grandparents tonight and I move into Rez tomorrow. It was harder then I thought to leave today. I broke down hard a few times. But I'm going ok now.

My school looks really nice. Except the one side that looks like an old school skate park. It will be my sketchy hang out for sure, and I'll definitly shred it up too. I really think I am going to like it here. The Pit & Smooth Herman's I guess are the places to be in this city so I'll be hitting thoes bars a lot. Also my Aunt said she can get me a job garenteed at the music store in the mall nearest me. I think it's a radio land. Sweet!!!!

Other then that I don't know much else. I have been very up & down all day. Still sad but happy I am moving on with my life. But mostly down because I'm not used to all of this yet. Anyways I'll get a better update in when I me totally settled in.



I miss that town
I miss the faces
You can't erase
You can't replace it

I miss it now
I can't believe it
So hard to stay
So hard to leave it

If I could I relive those days
I know the one thing that would never change

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
Everytime I do it makes me



PS: Holly, I miss you like fucking hell. I hope you dream of me tonight so we can met there.

Later friends....

current mood: Sad
current music: Something Corporate

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Tuesday, September 6th, 2005
1:09 pm
Goodbye to everything that I knew...
I move tomorrow...?
Ahh....

current mood: Sad
current music: Jack's Mannequin

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Sunday, September 4th, 2005
5:55 pm
I'm running around everywhere in hopes to see you....
Love me when I'm gone....

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Monday, August 29th, 2005
11:08 am - I guess the summer is over....
This sucks ass. I ran the 10k yesterday in 44 minutes. I kinda went out the night before though. I could have done a little better I think. Maybe 42 if I would have taken this one more serous. Oh well it was my last big event of the summer. Time to pack up and leave. I move on the 7th. I'm excited I guess. I don't really know what to think though. I'm just in kind of a blah/nervous mood because of it all. My last week really was fun though. The days at the beach meant a lot.

I guess today I'm just playing some golf with Nathan and maybe Jenn. @ Truro too which I am SOO excited about. Another then that yeah.... I'm kinda bumbed out. I hate all these goodbye. They don't get any easier with every year...

I gotta go. Later.

current mood: Depressed
current music: The Ataris - In This Diary

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Monday, August 22nd, 2005
6:17 pm - I've been kinda slack...
Havn't done much writing in a while. I guess I have been busy and just havn't wanted too... lol. This was an awesome week actually. I had 2 over night beach trips at different places. Wednesday and I got off work @ 11 I went to Matty's. I was suprised I found the place considering I was by myself and had no directions. In the afternoon me, Matty, his GF & cousin played beach golf. That was a lot of fun. The night was fun too, we went into Amherst and hung out there for a bit. When we got back Matty's mom was so pissed. Cause we never bought her chips. As if she needs them... But yeah then we drank and and walked around till we passed out.

Got back into town Thursday and did whatever.... I don't remember. Then Friday I was @ work & Matty & Ted show up. I knew that was bad news from the get go. Anyways we went out to Ted's cottage for the night. This night was AMAZING! Tyler & Mark were there as well so I knew lots of people. I got SOO drunk that night!!! Me & Ted were the final 2 suvivors of the night. We must have been up till like 3:30ish. Everyone else on the beach was sound asleep. I always have been the king at being the last one up, haha. Morning came and we went home and that was that.

So my 10k is Sunday... And what training did I do this week.... Well I drank a lot of beer, smoked a lot of pot and ate hot dogs........ I am fucked, lol. I had lost 2 pounds for the race and now I think I'm back to where I started if not worse. I just called Holly to see if she'd run with me. But I guess she isn't back from NB yet. I have been kinda shying away from my love life on here latley. But I just don't know what to write about her anymore. I'm so confused... And now I'm too late.... FUCK!

Anyways this is it for the night. Later....

current mood: Awake
current music: The Juliana Theory

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Sunday, August 14th, 2005
11:00 pm
Why do I feel like this is never going end......?

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Friday, August 12th, 2005
7:38 am
I must be out of my fucking mind......

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Sunday, August 7th, 2005
10:58 pm


So if you made it,
Just be glad that you did and stay there,
If you ever feel loved or needed,
Remember that you're one of the lucky ones,
And if it's over,
Just remember what I told you,
It was bound to happen so just...
Keep moving on,
There are no perfect endings,
No perfect endings.

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Saturday, August 6th, 2005
10:34 pm - Awesome day!
Well I ran my first race today. The 5k went great! I didn't it in 21 min & 40 sec. Which I am very happy with. That was good enough for 3rd place and 2nd in my age class. I can't believe I did that good in my 1st race. Holly did well also. She finshed 11th and 3rd in her age division. We were both very happy with our times and we will both be going in the Cobiquid 10k in 3 weeks. I won lots of stuff. A silver metal for starters, a backpack, gift cirts for KFC, I arm radio for running and other little stuff. The metals are very nice too, Holly got a bronze and a gift cert as well.

The best part about it though.... Beating that Matt fucker... God I hate him. He was so cocky going into the race... and when I beat him he was NOT happy, hahaha. He busts his ass and does races all the time. I do neither and beat him.... So sweet. If he wasn't so cocky & arragent I wouldn't care as much. But it felt great to beat him. I knew I would anyways, I'm good at everything, hahaha (Speaking of cocky people), but it's true. I knew I would. I just like being modest and never bragging, then suprise people. I really can't describe how much i enjoyed just beating him. I think I get off on upseting people amd pissing people off, lol. Sad... But I really enjoy it.

So yeah, I had a great time there. I only got beat by a 45ish year old guy who was awesome, and like a 12 year old girl. She was nuts haha. I was about 30 feet ahead of her for the first 4.5k... then BOOM she was gone. I don't never know how it happened. She will be awesome in track someday.

You know what else I like, how good I'm getting at golf. I played great again. I need to enter some golf tourniments too. Played Debert today also which was nice for a change.

Other then that it was a usual day, gym, chill, blah.... But over all the day was amazing...

Other then the fact that I'm thinking again....

Later friends <3 <3

current mood: Super Happy
current music: Dredg

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Friday, August 5th, 2005
12:14 pm - This one will be quick..... just like sex....
Well tomorrow is the big day. I think I'm ready for the race. I got all my meals planned out and everything else. I guess now it's just myself & Holly in it. Everyone else is backing out it seems. She claims she can run it in 25 minutes.... Man I better not get beat by her, lol. I didn't 8.9k the other day in 41 minutes. So that's looking like a 23 minute race. Plus my first 5k were probably faster then the rest. I'm hoping for somewhere between 20 & 22 minutes. I'll be really happy with that.

Anyone wanna go to magic mountain with me? I havn't been there in many years and I wanna go. MSG me.

Yeah, everything else has been kinda blah... I got in MacDonald house for school next year. But other then that Sept is scaring me cause I have no idea what's going on......

Well yeah.... I got nothing to write about. I guess I'll just end it here cause I have to go to work from 1-5. At least it's a short shift..

current mood: Nervous
current music: Ryan Cabrera

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Saturday, July 30th, 2005
9:36 pm - Too much sugar!!!!!!
BAD SCOTT!!!! My race is in a week and today I binged into the sugar. And of course it's all moms fault. I really need to shed off a couple pounds before this race. It will help so much. But whatever it's only 5k. At least I'm not fat.

Well me & Eilish went rafting down the Bay of Fundy Thursday. It was so much fun. I had no idea the waves were that big around here. And that all these nice places are around to camp & stuff. It's really sad considering the fact that I have lived here my whole life and didn't know about it. Anyways after the 4 hour trip we were served an all you can eat BBQ and then played beach vollyball. It was such as fun day. I want to do it one more time before summer is over. Connie said she would like to try it. Natalie is in and Matty should too.

Yesterday I worked in the am and then went to Moncton in the evening for a little local punk/hardcore/emo show. It was ok but it really annoys me how high school kids know so little about these scenes. Ugg, They need a lesson on there roots, and a lesson on not being a poser. You loosers with all you ugly dirty black hair & thick rim glasses and your shitty vintage clothes, and my space accounts with stupid ass web cam photos of half your face and showing no interest. Yeah, I'm talking to you. Go ruin some elses music. lol.

I remember when I was in JR. High & CEC I never acted like that or looked like that. And my music taste was much better.... Mineral, Weezer, AFI, Pennywise, The Get Up Kids..... Yeah... We had it figured out. This new version with all this Alexisonfire, Taking Back Sunday, Dashboard crap is getting too watered down for me. Too main stream and catchy. I mean don't get me wrong it's better then like Nickelback or something, but it's still frustrating for me. I mean for fuck sakes one of the bands there played a Simple Plan cover.... Please fuckin shoot me. And people liked it!!! *Shoot again*.

"That's what happens when you compromise your art.
It's what sets, sets, sets us apart."

Dredg - Catch Without Arms


But yeah the show was kinda fun I guess. CCR was in town that night but I went to Moncton instead. I guess like 11,000 people showed up for it. But for $50 with only 2 original members and no John Fogerty.... Fuck that.

Today was normal, no work, just the gym and ran.... It was a nice day at least. Natalie called and is back in Truro now so were going to do something Monday. But other then that, it was a boring day.

PS - I really miss having someone....

Later guys....

current mood: Jealous
current music: Godsmack (I'm not sure why though, lol)

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Wednesday, July 27th, 2005
10:09 pm


Every single time,
I see you in the street as you walk by,
You're shuffling your feet as if to say, you'd rather die,
Then live so far from home,
I wonder is that why you're so alone,
And if you found a place to call you own, would you be fine?

And you tell me that something good is bound to happen soon,
And meanwhile you'll just wait inside your room,

Do you find it odd,
That you are not as strong as you once thought?
And even if you run you might get caught, so you won't go,
And you'll be the last to know,

And even if you run you might get caught, so you won't go,
And you'll be the last to know.



current mood: Down
current music: Sherwood

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