| ~*~ When It's Through, It's Through, Fate Will Twist The Best Of You~*~ |
[07 Nov 2003|11:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 worried |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
I Love You Just The Way You Are: Ruben Studdard |
] |
I knew it was coming. Hell, we've known for weeks that it was over. That O-town was over. That our dream we've worked so hard for was coming for an end. We knew when less people came up to us in the streets, when we started to get invited to less and less music events. And for a while there, that was okay with me. We'd always be us. Always still be best friends. But we aren't. Not all of us. Jacob's disappeared. He's still so angry with me for the way I treated him, and leaving him, and I don't blame him. I don't. But, I love Dan. A love Dan so much, and I never would of felt like Jacob was truly mine. I always would of wondered if he was thinking about Jane. If he was trying to remember the way things used to be. Trevor seems to hate us all and is just worried about where he's going to party and who with. We don't need that right now. *shakes his head* I just can't deal with that right now. The only one's of us even really talking now is Dan, Angel and me. But, somehow I knew in the end it would only be us three.
My marriage? Well I don't know what's going on here. Dan left to go stay with Rachel, and now here I am. Alone. America..stays busy. It's like she shells herself off somewhere. Like she's scared and afraid of something. Of me? I hope not. I just, I think it's because this is falling apart too. Our marriage I mean. It's..it's coming to an end too. I can feel it. *runs his hand over his temple, his lips trembling* And I'm scared. I'll understand when she leaves. I've done it so many times before. I deserve that. I just don't.. I can't have them both leave me. I just can't.
I miss Reesie. And I miss my husband.
|
|