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Jake brushing his teeth |
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I woke up with a headache from hell. Apparently I had myself one hell of a party last night. There's a huge gash on my head from where I think I banged in on the headboard. The chairs at the table are all flipped over and there's some purple stain on the floor. *shakes head* I think I really owe this hotel some money.
I'm in Philadelphia. I don't remember why I came here, I'm not sure how I got here, besides the fact that I obviously took a plane. The only thing I can think of is, we stayed in this hotel last year and it was one of my favorites. Stupid reason, huh?
Jacob's in the shower. *smiles* I woke and he was beside me. I didn't know why he was here. The last thing I remembered was him yelling at me and me leaving. I watched him sleep for a while. When he got up he explained what happened. I took off on everybody and came here, (he's not sure why either), and then got drunk and high off my ass. Rachel told him I took Coke. I'm really sorry D, Angel, Trev. I know we had that deal, and it seems like I'm the one that broke it. I'm really sorry. If I was rude or wrong or mean WHATEVER..to anyone, I'm really sorry. Just know I didn't mean it. I guess I finally told Josh where I was, and Jake came. He said we talked last night, but I didn't remember. So he told me again.
He said that he had never been more scared in his life. That the only thoughts in his head were he couldn't lose me and he couldn't imagine not having me in his life, and seeing me each day. He said he knows now why he was angry. He wasn't angry at me. He was angry at himself. Because he never knew what he was feeling, like he was hiding it from himself and from me. The second he found out how bad I was doing he finally got it, he says. That he loves me too. He loves me too. Wow. I didn't really believe him at first. After those things he said, how could I? You know? But I looked into his eyes, and he took my hand and said. " Erik, I mean it. That's why things were such a mess with Janie in the first place. And that's why I freaked out like that. But I do love you too."
J, you were right. Things got better. Things got perfect. He kept holding my hand. It was so weird, but it was right. It just felt right.
He's out of the shower now. We're going to go out to see the bell, and get a cheesesteak. And he said something about his own little surprise for me. I guess I should go get a shower myself.
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confused