if only i knew how i felt   
07:38pm 09/06/2003
mood: discontent
music: x marks the pedwalk - abbatoir(razormaid remix)
today was a great day for me.... i got paper work into the office, picked up the ugly dress for my cousins wedding, got some great deals on new mirrors, painted, did dishes and i have time to do more.

but my heart is breaking.... those i care for are going through such times of loss. it hurts so much to see them go through this. i know i have my own grieving to do, but it seems so unimportant now. they are all that matters right now. there is no way for me to lessen or absorb this pain for them and that is killing me right now. so while things are going ok for me, i'm breaking apart from their loss.
since this is one of my favorite online cartoons...   
10:55am 04/06/2003
mood: awake
You are Poison!You're apathetic and detatched from
reality.Noone can really relate to you but it
doesn't matter much to you since you live in
your own little world anyway..

Which Gothic Powerpuff Girl Are You?
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04:11am 04/06/2003
mood: awake
awake, thinking too much to sleep. i hate that. i wish i could shut off my brain for a few hours and get some shut eye. blah.
05:24pm 03/06/2003
mood: apathetic
music: rasputina - thimbal island
things have not been going well. for a few weeks i was on cloud 9. going in lovely places.... but in the past few days it has changed. work has become hell. today i was in trouble for missing a shift that i never agreed to take. been floating through confusion. but i know it will work out. i hold on to that. thanks to m8 for bringing over sugar when i did not want to leave my apt. i need distraction. i hate when my weather pixie is down. blah.
11:41am 31/05/2003
mood: awake
so i have this idea of being able to post things here, that i'm afraid to post in my lj. there people seem to get offended. too many people read it. but i'm at a loss with this idea.

i like that so few read this. but it can still be found.

but i can't make this go away. believe me i have tried. hell, tried tried and tried again. i understand your thoughts, but they aren't connected.
02:19am 28/05/2003
mood: exhausted
sorry i have not posted much. been busy. actually been rather sick. though now i'm better and online more ... yay for dsl!!!!! not much happening. joining communities and the like. trying to make a little bit of a home here on blurty. :)
sorry so long since my last post   
01:27am 22/05/2003
mood: accomplished
after work on sunday i relaxed. nice glass of harveys bristol cream, bubble bath and a worn copy of henry and june. though reading in the tub posses its own challenges

as i have been ill, monday was for rest alone. though i did meet m8 at kostas for dinner. ran into several people i knew there and had a pleasant night.

tuesday i got out of bed early and went to the doctor. nothing really wrong. just worn down and can't shake what ever bug i got. after that i did some shopping for curtains. i'm in search for black tab top window pannels (cheap). though somehow i ended up finding the best decorating things at the place i would have least expected. you must pick through tons of junk and dollor store quality items.... but there are some rare gems in that place. found wall shelves and mirrors!!!!! after that i came home and got some rest. at night i went and picked up dem and we headed off to provide fan support. after that it was coffee and home to crash.

today i was rather lazy in the am. then got ready and headed off to pick up m2. time to shop. he showed me the best place for decorating items and i got some art prints i have been wanting. i caved and went with waterhouse. but it was one i really love. stuck with poynter for the other one. though i'm still looking for "the black drape" for my hallway. i'm completely in love with that print. after shopping we grabbed dinner at plate-oh. ummmmm, chicken finger wrap... yummers. spent most of the time since painting and assembing shelves. some of the metal shelfing slipped and my thumb is all tender now.

i'm thinking some more puttering and maybe another hot bath. tomorrow is another busy day.
09:54pm 11/04/2003
mood: tired
music: project pitchfork - time killer
love the new apt. i'm so happy here. some friends just got a new place today. yay for them. tired and need to start getting ready. later taters.
02:22pm 25/03/2003
mood: bored
so i was telling a a2 about something that occurred at the club on Friday and i was told to "post that damn it". so here goes....

this chickie walks over to me and starts pulling my ringlets and tells me how amazing they look. she asks if they are real and i tell her they are fake and attached to a wig. then she starts telling me how beautiful my clothing is. she asks where i get it and or course i explain most of my clothing is custom or comes from the dance studio. sadly this is pretty standard, i hear it at least once every week. here however is where it got odd. next thing i know she reaches up and starts stroking my eyebrows and says: "wow, they are real. i have never met anyone with such beautiful, well groomed real eye brows before. i have to draw mine in". pull my fake hair, prod and pull at my clothing, hell.... ignore me and talk to my cleavage. but what the fuck is with stroking my eyebrows? if it was someone knew..... maybe. did i miss when this became part of an introduction. i don't mind being touched.... but come on this is too much.
     Read 2 - Post
01:05am 25/03/2003
mood: cranky
so i have been super stressed. car is in the shop. my birthday is coming up. i'm moving. aaaahhhhh.... i randomly break into tears, just to release the tension in my body. blah.
     Read 2 - Post
w00t w00t   
08:22pm 15/03/2003
mood: excited
i'm moving. i got a new apt!!!!
01:33pm 07/03/2003
mood: tender
spring break has begun. plus i got my verts today w00t w00t!!!! yay for new nipple piercings.
     Read 5 - Post
here is an update for you all.....   
11:49am 05/03/2003
mood: depressed

I am Heather Duke.

Quiz made by Amy | Powered by Quizilla

Oooh, easy does it on the metal food group
You will swallow some tacks. You are a little
weird, maybe not so much in a good way. Buy a
yellow tie and wear it on your head.

What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?
brought to you by Quizilla
06:14am 26/02/2003
mood: thirsty
tired. i have been sick for a few days now and it sucks. too drained to do much of anything fun. though i had coffee with a friend last night. my throat hurts and i'm all stuffed up. blah..... i hate being sick.
how to frame it?   
06:21pm 21/02/2003
mood: cold
hehehehehe, i got new geek glasses. but they are not as geeky as the ones i have now. blah. i love all things geek!
been a while   
10:30am 21/02/2003
mood: lazy
it has been a while since i updated here. i don't know why i don't do it more often. i do enjoy blurty. i only have a couple people on my friends list and that lets me say a lot more and offend fewer people and also not worry about people commenting to others about what they read and not knowing it is private. blah.

anyway. i have been busy. i almost wish i could just shut off the phone and completely ignore people. i think i'm gonna skip the club tonight and go tomorrow. ummm.... different crowd and the like. anyway... must go forage for food.
happy hallmark day   
08:11pm 14/02/2003
mood: annoyed
this is sooooo petty but i don't care..... there are moments when i wish i was not a popular person. i know here on blurty i'm not. then again only about 4 friends know i have a journal here and i want to keep it that way. anyway today alone i have more phone messages then i can return. most of them are to hang out tonight. the one message from the person i have plans with, is fine.... it let me know where i'm meeting them, but the rest. you know where i go every friday..... talk to me then. that is why i go out.

thank you and good night.
     Read 1 - Post
you can't handle a subject   
09:11pm 11/02/2003
mood: confused
stress. one minute i'm thrilled and happy. the next... i can't stop crying. blah.
05:22pm 08/02/2003
mood: happy
music: rasputina - dwarf star
having a good day. yummy lunchy/ dinner at dennys. searching for apartments. happy. fun night at the club last night.

thank you, drive through.
the first   
05:06pm 06/02/2003
mood: apathetic
music: vnv nation - forsaken
ok, so i got a blurty journal. don't know why. mostly my lj will the place i update and post.... but i wanted this one too.