| Tuesday...and Monday I guess | |||
| 10:03pm 26/04/2005 | |||
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Monday: Went to school. Hung out with Austin at the mall during 4th period. Met up with Byron. Caity came. It was awkward because she hates me? Austin and I went to my house and hung out for a bit before going and picking up Ashlee in Mansion Heights and going to Hastings and bugging Byron. Then Austin didn't want to hang out with me any more, so I took him home and he didn't give me a kiss bye bye so that was sad. Then I took Ashlee home and I came home and proceeded to hang out on the internet and get nothing accomplished. Found out Caity hates me more than I already thought she did... Tuesday: Went to English 3 and found out I am way behind but whatever because as of now I'm caught up. Went to English 4 and stressed because Senior Project portfolios are due on Friday, yep...definately haven't even started my project. And I only have like 2 weeks. But I'm good under pressure usually so I should be ok...hopefully...cross your fingers. Skipped US History because I forgot my stuff and I'm way behind in that class. Hung out with Austin and Nate at the mall. I was stupid and bought shoes, a skirt, and earrings. So now I am like $65.00 in debt in my checking account. Oh well. Hopefully I'll get my $$ for May soon. Then I came back to school and finished all the rest of my lessons for English...hopefully she'll pass me because she hates me and yeah wants to sabatoge me. Jacci bought pants today from Abercrombie and they are awesome and she got them for $14.95. It was awesome I'm so jealous of her bargain shopping skills. Came home after school and fell asleep. Austin and Nate showed up and made my day because I love waking up and seeing Austin. Then they left because Austin had to work. Jacci came over and we laid in the sun and my legs were sweaty it was nasty (right jacci!?!? haha). Then ordered Papa Johns and ate the whole thing, used my moms checking account to buy it...but apparently she is lacking in the money in the checking account like me.... Then Jacci and I watched Odd Girl Out. I feel asleep and Jacci went home. Then I napped while my sister and her friend played outside...not such a good idea I don't think lol. Then when Mom got home she raged at me for sleeping so much. So I went and cleaned up Dog Shit and gagged and put my hand in it accidentally....whoops. Then I did some homework. Watched American Idol. And currently am spending time doing nothing on the internet..... I LOVE YOU AUSTIN!!! |
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| PICTURES | ||||
| 09:35pm 25/04/2005 | ||||
Look at this mind-bogglingly romantic photo:  |
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| 09:24pm 25/04/2005 | |||
| Sneaker I'm soo sorry for everything!!! | |||
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| 08:22pm 24/04/2005 | |||
| Have you ever wanted to help someone so bad because they are hurting themselves to the point that it hurts you??? | |||
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| 03:16pm 24/04/2005 | ||||
I rushed He doesnt know how I feel. Sneaker put it a good way: When you're dying for a relationship to work out you just want to solidify it, but almost always that act that solidifies it just FUCKS IT UP. I hope he will talk to me, and help me work this out. There are so many things I cannot control. I can control myself but I cannot control my feelings and I feel so much love for him but I'm afraid I ruined it. GOD WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN I am praying you will speak with me and tell me your fears and I'll catch your tears with my heart and i will cut out the bad from my arms. Slicing it away so i can never ever be wrong for you.... |
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restless| Austin...I love you | |||
| 03:06pm 24/04/2005 | |||
| Come on...Lie to me...Tell me you love me and that I'm the ONLY ONE!!!!! | |||
| 1 kissed me| love me right | |||
| 03:02pm 24/04/2005 | |||
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Song I wrote and sang and Jacci played the guitar to: Robert Kilpatrick was a good Irish man. He drove around in his green Mazda van. He once rand with scissors and ate with a spoon. His job was flying a meterological balloon. He fell in love with a woman named Pat. And she owned a large orange horseshoe bat. They ran off together in the sunset. And spent their nigths under a mosquito net. OOHHH, RRRROOOOOBBBBB AAAAANNNNDDD PPPAAATTT! LLLOOOVVVEEEE AAATTT LLAAASSSTTT! Don't separate their bond! Bananas are big byt love is stronger Love won't squish like bananas which are much longer. And this is the end of Rob and Pat. A story so fine I'll leave it at that. OOHHH, RRRROOOOOBBBBB AAAAANNNNDDD PPPAAATTT! LLLOOOVVVEEEE AAATTT LLAAASSSTTT! Don't separate their bond! Bond Wand Respond Beyond Blonde Pond Correspond....... |
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| 01:39pm 23/04/2005 | |||
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Jorj just bit me and it hurts like hell....... Yesterday was cool. Skipped all classes, came home with Austin in the morning. went to school at lunch and hung out in the flagship room for the rest of the day. Austin had to work and that was sad so I couldn't see him last night. Gave Kelsey and Zach a ride home. Then I came home and took a nap and played with Jorj. Then I went and got Siiri, and Kelsey and Rob and Jacci came over. Then Beth came over. We all ate Papa John's and cake for Kelsey ( my mother stuffed a HUGE candle in the cake it was hilar) THen we all played Cranium which was awesome and me and Siiri won!! YAY! for the FINN!! and me!!!......Then we watched Finding Neverland and I fell asleep. Siiri and Jacci stayed the night and everyone left.... I woke up and ate Cinnamon Rolls and fell asleep watching The Incredibles, then mom and bon woke me up again and I took Siiri and Jacci home. Then went to my dads, searched for money, came up empty handed, took a shower, talked to Caity. and Came back to moms house. Mom wants me to do stuff but I refuse so I'm gunna hang out with my sister and her friend HAHA! I hope caity gets done cleaning soon so I can hang out with her because i miss her. I wanted her to come over last night but she didnt want to....so sad. Yesterday morn. was amazing, something I would consider quite monumental happened. It didnt go nearly as well as I had wanted....but I mean it did happen. Although it didnt quite get finished correctly. But it will be made up sometime soon, and then hopefully it will be something that is actually a good memory for both of us.... |
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| Real Quick Entry about the last 48 hrs. | ||||
| 10:33pm 21/04/2005 | ||||
Skipped all classes and went with Austin to my moms to play with Jorj. Then came back to school and hung out in flagship....i think scott hates me....uhm after school Chris and Jacci and Austin came over and Chris and Austin tried on my shirts, and put my cat down their pants. Then we took Austin to work and Chris home and I found out there was a "lake" in Lolo...didnt know that. Then Jacci and I met my mother for dinner with bonnie at China Buffet. and it was awesome. then jacci went home and i came here to my fathers. Thursday: Wandered around being retarted during 1st period senior study hall - went to 2nd period government fot a 14 out of 15 on a quiz on stuff i obviously knew but hadnt been there to learn....shows you mr.curtis haha. third period was math and we took a quiz that i totally bombed out of my mind....oh well. Hung out in the flagship room during 4th. got pissed because ryan hit me in the shoe and it hurt my stress-fractured foot and so i screamed the eff word (something i rarely do) and yeah scott yelled at me....TJ wrote and sang this awesome song for the Porter 8th graders and yeah it was awesome i think TJ is awesome.....then austin, zach and i went to the bank, wal-mart (i got a super cool camera!!), and then took zach home. then austin and i went to the mall and looked at phones for him. then went to my moms. that was awesome and austin fell asleep on me...haha. watched american idol. (recorded from last week) and found out the black chick with short hair got voted off.....sad. Mom came home and it was awkward so me and austin left and went to 4bs where my sandwich sandpapered my mouth...OUCHY!! Then went to nates and watched him play halo for like 2.5 seconds then went to the Wilma and got prepared for my slam reading. I went like 10th (ish) and I got the lowest individual score from a judge....a 6. but I came in 3rd!.....from last..... with a combined score of 24.4 and the kid who won totally appauled me because he swore and his poem was about nothing...litereally nothing worth writing about. i was pretty angry. this girl who wrote a poem about how she shoots her boyfriend in the face (actually had the words "I watch his brains and blood splatter....") and then kills herself ACTUALLY got a higher score than me. I mean i'm a performer for gods sake. but then again i did write my poem in like 5 min and yeah...so it was ok. but heres the poem and I'm out for the night but not after i tell you that i went to baskin robins and watched nate, stasia, austin and caity eat ice cream. i dont think austin remembered that he said he was gunna buy me ice cream so i didnt get any... took nate home, and austin and i had a discussion.... i think tomorrow will be amazing!!! *GRIN* ( slam ) P.S. The high point of my day (as my sister so kindly puts it) was when I was coughing in line for lunch and i was all *cough*cough* I'm dying and caity was there and it was SO 8th grade all over again. WOOOOOOOT |
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| Slam poem... | |||
| 10:13pm 20/04/2005 | |||
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heres the poem im planning on reading tomorrow for the slam reading. its partially my work and partially a song from degrassi lol... It happens to other people You say how sad You say poor thing But when its you its something else Its everything You'll never believe the nightmares You'll never know the pain you caused You'll never see the scars you left The things you stole The meanings that are gone And everything’s lost. I’ll walk down that aisle In white, with no meaning Giving it up on my wedding day? You kidding me? I lost it last night You took my body And tore it in half You took my childhood, my heart, and my laugh You took everything I kept for myself And then you're gone I’m not your poor thing |
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| 07:00pm 19/04/2005 | ||||
#1- I have no choice about college what so ever - its all up to my dad because he has money.... #2- Girls think that they have the right to go up to Austin and say how he is gross because hes dating me and i'm gross...... #3- I think Austin is mad at me about something but he won't tell me. And I'm kind of upset about this because he means a lot to me and to lose himm would be awful. and i can't fix anything unless i know what it is. I think someone told him something. Or maybe its because of #4.... #4 - I'm kind of getting the feeling that Caity hates me...she kind of ignores me and isnt like all hyperish around me like she used to. then i saw an entry in her LJ that made me think about myself. I mean I love caity and ive done nothing to her but I don't understand why I get that feeling and when i get that feeling it usually is true.... #5-Girls at my school are worthless pieces of crap and they steal your stuff and never give it back and then ware/use the stuff they stole. or start rumors or websites about you.....WOW. Anyways I got all saddish after school and I randomly pulled up to caity and austin and austin jumped in with me cuz i was all crying and stuff. and we got my oil changed...then while waiting i told austin that i loved him, i didnt mean it, well i did, but i wasnt ready to say it yet, i mean its only been a week....but he said it back and totally made my heart lift..it was awesome. i've never been told "I love you" by a guy. and then went to my moms. and austin didnt seem happy there so we left. i think he hates my mom because he thinks my mom hates him. which isnt true because she likes him a lot. but i think that austin is starting to hate me.......god and if he does i wish he would just come out and tell me what i did wrong because i care for him a lot. If anyone reads this and knows what is going on with him.....please tell him to talk to me. I need to know. I can't go around without knowing.... |
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depressed| 10:21am 18/04/2005 | |||
Austin and I got a cat together. Its name is Jorj W. and hes real cute. Hes living in my bathroom we made him a home with a couch and food and a kitten box. He was the runt of the litter. I love him. Here's a picture: |
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| Love...well I think...kinda.... | |||
| 10:08pm 14/04/2005 | |||
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So Austin and I are together!!!! (I will post pictures hold on ok?) I mean I'm in Indiana for try-outs for Pom Squad and I'm totally bored cuz I'm all alone but Steven wants to go out and drink but I dont wanna really. I just sit around and listen to the used and play online in the hotel's business center... wow I have no life. I talk to Austin like 5 times a day and i look at him every time I open my phone because his pic is the back ground but i still miss him. I miss Caity, and jacci and beth and everyone else too but i mean i havent had a guy care about me in like a year so it makes me sad to not be around him immediately after we got to gether. hopefully he can meet me at the airport with caity when i get back which will be like sunday or maybe saturday if i dont make it past 1st rounds (which i will....) fun fun so its little 500 week this week, which is like the indi. 500 car race except with bikes and like everyone is drunk and like 15,000 other college students come here for the "fun". so yeah theres lots of parties and i totally got invited to pat ewing jr's going away party, woooot. its a long story but i met rob vaden and dj white today too. that was awesome. but yeah i miss austin mostly lol ( pictures ) |
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| I LOVE BANDS | ||||
| 06:21pm 10/04/2005 | ||||
Went to Union Hall to see a concert (slash 4 bands). When I got there I saw Caity, Jacci, Rob, Austin, Nate, Bryon and yeah Sven Loves Danger Girls was playing and Bryan Bobowic is in that band and hes so emoliciously sexy i couldn't take it. SO THEN this random old guy band started playing and they were called THe Bismarks and we didnt like them cuz they screamed kinda loudish and swore (at least i didnt like that) and they were old and icky. But I mean they played well. THere were these kids asnd they were "moshing" and leland earls was there and he wore all plaid. and we all wanted to kill him. and then this hobbit kid was dancing all funny. yeah and me and austin and nate just laughed at him. then Minus My Thoughts came on. but before that ALi, Sadie, and Siiri came. and they were nice and fun to hang with. More funny moshing and Austin would run and attack leland with his elbow. that was funny. AUSTIN IS SO ADORDABLE! Leland fell down! yes! Minus My thoughts rocked my world cuz they just do. then Simple as it seems came on and they rocked and the whole time byron was singing to caity and i knew it because he loves her - but she didnt believe me that he loves her. me and austin danced awesomely! after the concert we chilled and waited for all of the bands to pack up their shit. and i talked to people from MMT and this one kid looks like pudge and i was like omg you look like pudge! yeah. soooooooooooo then we all went to dennys but that was after me and austin baught t-shirts of SAIS and cds and danced. and after i heard the piano playing colorblind and i was like OMG who is playing that song. and it was dennis and i was liek ALI can i marry him please??? it was neato. So yeah back to when we went to dennys. austin rode with me and i was like awww you are so adordable. and then there was like 30 ppl at dennys and it was neat. i had a burger that i made austin share with me and chocolate milk that i didnt share with anyone. Then i had to go to dustins and socialize with him. that was fun...i guess. then i went to nates and austin and jocelyn were there and we watched orgasmo and then jocelyn left, and me and austin cuddled ... kind of. like he rubbed my arm and i layed on his lap/pillow. then we watched super troopers and i fell asleep. then i came home. after i woke up. and it was like 4 am and my dad didnt care. but all in all it was a great night. :-D YAY |
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okay| Wow another coincidence... | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| 05:06pm 04/04/2005 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
This is funny cuz i have my belly button and it was my first piercing = but my next one i'm getting done is my cartilege lol |
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| 04:30pm 31/03/2005 | |||
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You don’t know if an apple’s rotten ’Til you take a bite You don’t know if there’s breakfast comin’ ’Til you spend the night And I’m sure I’ll kiss my share of frogs Before my time is done The world is full of bastards And I’ve dated every one Eh, the lad was oh-so-generous Much more than you would think He didn’t have a license But he still drove me to drink And I had no insecurities So he gave me some of his But I didn’t need his sorrow, man I’m Irish as it is You don’t know if the beer is bitter ’Til you buy a glass You don't know if your peace of mind Is just a piece of ass |
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| 04:14pm 31/03/2005 | |||
| How will you know I am hurting if you cannot see my pain? To wear it on my body tells what words cannot explain. | |||
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| 11:27am 07/03/2005 | |||
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Lauren Ayres Period #6 English 4 Grapes of Wrath Test – Essay March 3, 2005 Change is inevitable, the only thing that stays constant is change; many cliques are used to describe change. All things considered, change is the general theme of Steinbeck’s classic The Grapes of Wrath. It is the 1930s in mid-west America, farmers are being driven off their farms and pushed to continue westward to the land of opportunity and prosperity, California. America was a changing nation, people were migrating, inventions were expanding the technological horizons of the average person, literature was allowed to be creative, and art was breaking free of its traditional rigidness. But was this one of the last times America changed? Yes. America is undergoing little change today, although, change is something that has occurred in many instances, allowing the 1930s to be different from today. “Carloads, caravans, homeless and hungry; twenty thousand and fifty thousand and a hundred thousand and two hundred thousand. They streamed over the mountains, hungry and restless-restless as ants, scurrying to find work to do-to lift, to push, to pull, to pick, to cut,-anything, any burden to bear, for food” (Steinbeck 317). The migration of farmers of Oklahoma to California was not only a physical move, but a social move as well. From middle-class self-sufficiency to suffering homelessness, migrants were now in a whole different situation. This is not something that only existed in the past, today in America it is a problem as well. Legally one can claim bankruptcy at any point in time, if the situation calls for it. During the dustbowl, bankruptcy was not an option, it was disgrace and even the poorest of the poor would never admit to being penniless. People of that time would do anything to get money, or food, welfare was not an option. Today people have the right to not have a job, and receive ten times the amount the workers of the 30s received, from the government. This has been something that has stayed consistent for about two decades, proving that change in work ethics and monetary supplies have not changed what so ever. In a review of The Grapes of Wrath, written by Michele Marchand 60 years after its publication, the author makes many good points about the book’s general themes. “This novel was first published 60 years ago, and caused a firestorm of praise and criticism” (Marchand 1). Change has obviously slowed since the 30s, by comparing this simple statement to many made by other great authors of today. Writing styles have not changed drastically as they did in the 1930s. This essay was written in 1999, and uses the same language and rhythm as any other essay I have read within the last 20 years. Literary techniques are also in a stand-still, opposed to the literary revolution experienced in the early part of the century. Take the great American novel, The Great Gatsby, for an example to compare to our ever-familiar The Grapes of Wrath, both were written within a few years of one-another, yet both display a spectrum-splitting array of literary techniques. Another contrasting example is the Harry Potter series, written in the 1990s, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy, written in the middle part of the century. Both display the literary techniques of fantasy books, differing very little by only the audience portrayed to read the books. Within the many years these books were written, little change is seen, thus proving the theory that change has slowed since the dustbowl era. |
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ediciussievol |
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Friends Info Calendar My Live Journal that is retarted |
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