Andrew Couser's Blurty

Subject:	MY outlook
Time:	10:57 pm.
Mood:	apathetic.
Music:	Massive Attack- Black Milk.

Every day, i sit in silence and watch as the world passes by, completely and totaly ignorent of what really matters, and a geniouse on those that dont.
I dont care, i give up, you can shackle me and throw me in the wagon now because i dont care.
My life is a grimace on everone elses and all i care about is myself, is this the truth, i dont know, thats what every one tells me, and majority rules, so there you have it.
Why is it that i dont care? It's not important. You shouldnt care anyway, why would you. Not you as in one person, but you as in a group, why? why would you, you shouldnt, its not your life, CORRECT AND WHATEVER COMPLYS WITH THAT

Looking over all of my friends and my haliluya mutiny, im wondering whats keeping me hear, sure there are a few that are indisputible, BLAH BLAH BLAH Angie BLAH BLAH BLAH Keegan, BLAH BLAH BLAH whatever.

This was a USELESS entry.

Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	1 piece left
Time:	10:39 pm.
Mood:	indescribable.
Music:	Mindless Self Indulgence- 1989.

Here I am, telling my self that I am in control, no whim of condolences shrouded over whatever maybe how I should run my life, dealing and mingaling with the presures of human nature and casual society. But how wrong am I! I don't have control, I hate the site of every little inconvienience and only to give into those of a benifitiary nature. I think in a prospect that there might be a mildly high chance that I just could hate my life and all of its occurences, and throughout the looking glass that is every one elses eye, I'm so fucking happy, and o I love school and work and every little aspect that is my life, however a dramatisation of the real ailments that blind me. I'm not happy I hate any one that says hello. I want to tie an amaginary rope around my leg and jump off of a "big fucking cliff" yelling BOO FUCKING HOO!!!! I hope that at least some one misses me, but wait, thats rite I don't care! HA!!!

I need to get away from every thing close and bring in of the nature that is forien to me.(maybe i could learn how to spell corectly as well) You don't understand "OH YES I DO" "FUCK YOU" you have no clear conception of how i feel, no you havn't been there, are you Andrew FUCKING Couser NO!!!!! I AM GOD DAMNIT!!!! So you can take all of your conserns and cares and "Oh I'm so worried!"(s) and lock them away.

"The room started to sway to shiver and creak, his horrid insanity has reached it peak!"
Vincent
Tim Burtten
I'm loosing my mind, and all of my "friends" with live jounals, if you ever happen to reseave this don't even bother me about it, because to tell you the truth, I DONT CARE!
LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!!!!!! IM DONE!!!!!!!

Andrew Couser

Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	From sky skrapers to small cabins
Time:	7:34 pm.
Mood:	mellow.
Music:	Radio Head- Fake Plastic Trees.

Trust a syndicate built brick by brick upon things that one has done and or will do to insert another brick. With trust you are building a structure, a stucture that holds the reliablity of you in mind, if one were to take a brick out, the structure would become weaker, and it would be harder to replace that brick, but when the brick has been replaced you can lay bricks on top again, in my case many bricks have been removed but they have also been replased, and ambiguously bricks have been taken and replaced as well. I have formed many buildings with people i know and love, and hopefully i will start new places another time, the symbolism to this is that i made a new friend today and she is actually not the person that many believed she was, and she is not after the things that were said, please dont tell me that replacement is required, i feel that we have built high enough and that you should all trust me. You should all know me by now and i would never want to take away the trust that i have earned.

Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	50 ways to eat your toast....
Time:	10:13 pm.
Mood:	indescribable.
Music:	The National Anthem- Radio Head.

Day after day, hour after hour we take advantage of those few things that we love and are dear to us. Without realization we neglect them, or make them feel unwanted or unused. I suddenly realized this, I discoverd that the people that we love, are the people that we hurt the most, and you know what I'm sick of it. I am sick of hurting the one person that means more than anything to me in my life im sick of seeing teers on her face that i know i caused, because I can be selfish, or conseeded.

It took me until today, out of all of the others in my life, i found out today. I found out that we as people do things and harm others without even knowing, or careing. We are horrible people every single one of us. There is no such thing as a perfect person, ther is no such thing as a saint. We are all evil bastards trying to get our days bread. We may share our bread, but if we are starving, we will not give it all away. We may hide it to trick the other people, but then the giult consumes you, because you found out that if you had given them some of that bread they might have lived a few more days. We are all demons corrupt by our own feelings and our own emotions. This is the horrible realization that i confrunted today.

If i have ever forgoton about you, or did something without realizing the pain that it may cause you, i am sorry.

Angie, please forgive me, i want to be with you for as long as i possibly can, you are the only thing that matters to me. I'll never let you go as long as you promise to do the same for me.- I Love You

Andrew...........................

Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	Its always my fault
Time:	9:34 pm.
Mood:	melancholy.
Music:	Radio Head- The pyramid song.

Apparently everything is always my fault and i always make people sad, and that is purely something someone would say to inadvertantly make me feel agrivated and or melocholy as some sort of vengful lyric that people like to sing without a rythm, just blunt, smack and done!

It isnt my fault that I am busy or you cant take time to arrange something every once and a while. I am now realizing why my father is retentive about repeating himself and or some of his other annoying habbits because some people can just purpously bug the hell out of you "even though they didnt know they were doing it in the first place"

You people are always the victem and i always make you sdad because
a) you cancelled something with me
b) you come up with an excuse to get out of doing something with me to do something withh all the other important people in you lives.

Just because i make you feel bad because you made me feel ten times worse apparntly makes me such a horrible person that every one has to either post it or talk about it, and i right now will admit that i am not the nicest of all the people in the world, but i am not this tyrant of limitless anger because of this reason and this reason alone, you made me feel the pain of whatever it is first.
Another thing, im not even mean about it when people fuck me over like that ill mention it speak the words that i feel should be placed in and i am done, and im a horrible person. GOD ARE YOU ALL IN NEED OF A HUG BECAUSE YOUR SO NEGLECTED!!!!!!!! Please............

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Subject:	Woo hoo
Time:	2:36 pm.
Mood:	ecstatic.
Music:	none?.

Well I am in school right now and I am sitting next to my Angie whom i love verry much, we need to have sex! We really do, we need to have hot kinky vampire sex because she is the hotest person in the world. I love her and we need to have sex. Alot of sex, mmmmm. Well on another note as apposed to having sex wich we should do, o never mind that topic on with the sex because sex is grand and it makes everything better! WOO HOO well anyway that was my hole new update on sex thank and god night Piere has left the building.

SEX!!!

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Subject:	Pass the salt and throw the bottle over you shoulder.
Time:	3:35 am.
Mood:	depressed.
Music:	Massive Attack- tear drop.

Well, it has been a while has'nt it. here is a new worthless entrty for all of you to ambiguosly druel over with your internet cramed minds. druel not as in because you like me because you dont, but druel as in you have nothing better to do and dueling sure is an event isnt it, so go on make a big pool for daddy. I did something not concerning chemisrtry today although I should have, but I didnt because i wanted to spend time with my angie. today i went to prestons birthday party and i was included within a giant cake war. that was grandios let me tell you, if i had a nickel for every time i didnt want to get into a cake war i would have a shit load of nickles. however i do suppose that i had an okay time main reason being that i was with my angie, that made it all worth wile, i wish i could spend more time with her, i really do but im always buisy. i always have some chemistry assighnment to do or someplace to go concerning chem. i bet she thinks that i am mindlessly neglecting her dooing it with intention but to tell you the truth i really am not, i am really buisy alot of the time, and i have to be, and that isnt because i like to be buisy but when i am not i start to become depressed so whenever i am working i dont concentrate on the saddness but rather on a goal to be haappy in which i am positive that i could accomplish with angie but you know what i cant every thing that i try to set up with her is always ruind because either a)my fuck head parents will come home drunk and detest of my not being presant within our househlod or b) something comes up with one of us and it all goes down hill. doesnt that just seem lovely!

But on a happy note i had fun with angie alot of fun more fun than i have had in a long... long time, i wish that things could be like that more often but the cant and angie if and when you read this i am sorry that they cant be i really am..... just remember that i love you and nothing will ever change that.

well i suppose that i should be finished with this newly updated jounal entry and go back to my chen research.

good night all.

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Subject:	Fuck Andy
Time:	5:21 pm.
Mood:	pissed off.
Music:	Static-X - Black And White.

Andy you are a mother fucker and I hate you. I know this will never get to you but o-well. You made your sister cry and I love your sister, I love her more than you could amigine you piece of shit! I hope you die slowly and I also hope you believe in GOD you ass fucker so you can go to hell. I hope you go to prison too, i hope you go to prison for all of the bull shit that you pull. I hope you get ass fucked by some big burly guy name Bubba and you'll be his bitch and when some other guy tries to fuck you, he'll pull the same shit that you did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On another note, Angie, I am so verry sorry if this offends you but o-well the fucker deserved it.

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Subject:	One more Time
Time:	12:51 pm.
Mood:	melancholy.
Music:	Bjork- Hidden Place.

Do you think maybe I'm over reacting a little? Do you think that maybe I should just forget this hole thing and move on with my relationship? I think that's what I'm going to do. Because I love Angie, I love her more than any one could ever seem to amagine. I want to grow old with her and maybe have a child, yes that sounds nice.

I just hope that she stops forgeting how much I love her. I wonder how she would feel if I wroght something like some of the things she rights? Something like about my doubt in loving her.... I don't know but thats not the point. The point is that I don't doubt my love with her, I don't doubt much at all, and do you know why, it's because I love her, I really love her........

I just can't wait until the next time I can see her. Next time I see her I am going to drop any and every thing that i am doing because I am going to run to her and pick her up and spin her around and then set her down and give her a soft romantic kiss. Mmmmm.

I Love You Angie...... I Really Do.....

Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.

Time:	12:47 pm.
Mood:	lonely.
Music:	American Head Chage- A violent Reaction.

You will die young, doing something daring. Your death will be tragic. Sorry.

Young. Really young. I'd say anywhere from 15-35.
But you'll go out with a bang. You'll get in a
car accident or be shot. You'll never have to
see yourself get old. Sad though. Really sad.
By the way, its common knowledge that more
people with great goals and aspirations die
young. And if you want to die old, you'll die
young and vice versa.

At what age will you die?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Subject:	First Entry
Time:	9:05 pm.
Mood:	depressed.
Music:	Deftones- Knife Party.

This is my first entry wow. Now I am cool just like all of the other kids who have an on line journal........
As you probly know my name is Andrew. I am not in the best of moods right now. I think that my Girl Friend Angie is upset with me because i said something that was true. She has a jounal as well and she always rights about how i am more than likely getting board with her and that i am going to run off with some other girl.

This makes me verry upset because it makes me feel like she does'nt know how much i love her and how much i would do to make her happy. I guess she just doesnt get how badly those entry's hurt me.
I hope she starts to realize what pain that causes.

Her friends will sooner or later read this and become filled with JOY because they will know that we are having a small fight and it will give them hope because they all hate me. They all have quite a good reason to. I cant expect them to like me any more, even though I thought that they were close friends, and they probly were, but i fucked up and i lost alot of really good friends. O-well

Some first entry............

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Blurty for Andrew Couser.

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