Backup Scholarship Work - Past Accomplishments   
01:38pm 28/06/2003
mood: annoyed

1991 - Speedy Sweeties – Fullback
1993 – Fireballs
1994 – Red Lightening
1995 – Vacaville Vipers

Swim Team
1996 – Vacaville Swim Club
1997 – Vacaville Swim Club
1998 – Vacaville Swim Club
1999 – Vacaville Swim Club

1996 Notre Dame School
1997 Notre Dame School
1998 Notre Dame School

1996 Notre Dame School
1997 Notre Dame School
1998 Notre Dame School

1998 Notre Dame School
1999 Notre Dame School

Drill Team
2000-2001 Will C. Wood High School

Academic Awards

1992 – PTA Reflections Contest – “Exploring New Beginnings When I’m Five”
1993 – PTA Reflections Contest – “If I Could Give the World a Gift”
1993 – Perfect Speller Award
1994 – Alamo School Writing Award – 3rd Place
1994- Perfect Speller Award
1995 – Alamo School Writing Award –2nd Place
1994 - PTA Reflections Contest – “Dare To Discover”
1995 – Notre Dame Honor Roll – First Honors
1996 – Notre Dame Honor Roll – First Honors
1996 – Notre Dame Honor Roll – First Honors
1996 – Notre Dame Honor Roll – First Honors
1996 – Vacaville Science Fair – Special Achievement Award
1995 – Student of the Month – Notre Dame School
1996 – Notre Dame Honor Roll – Second Honors
1997- Notre Dame Honor Roll – Second Honors
1997 – Notre Dame Honor Roll – Second Honors
1997 – Notre Dame Honor Roll – First Honors
1997 – Participant in 1997 National Geography Bee
1996 – Reporter’s PAL Program – Honorable Mention
1997 – Notre Dame A.C.E Award
1997 – Notre Dame A.C.E. Award
1997 – Notre Dame Honor Roll – Second Honors
1998 – Notre Dame Honor Roll – Second Honors
1998 – Notre Dame Honor Roll – Second Honors
1998 – Safety Patrol Award
1998 – Reporter’s PAL Program – Participant
1998 – Outstanding Achievement in Physical Fitness Test
1998 – Vacaville Science Fair – Special Achievement Award
1999 – Justin-Siena High School Speech Contest Award – Dramatic Interpretation
1999 – Vacaville Science Fair – Special Achievement Award
1999 – Reporter’s PAL Program – Feature Writing – First Place
1999 – Notre Dame Honor Roll – Second Honors
1999 – Notre Dame Honor Roll – Second Honors
1999 – Notre Dame Honor Roll – Second Honors
1999 – Daughters of the American Revolution – American History Essay Contest Award
2000 – Reporter’s PAL Program – Feature Writing – Third Place
2000 – Justin-Siena High School Speech Contest Award – Dramatic Interpretation
2000 – President’s Education Awards Program – Outstanding Academic Achievement
2002 - Vacaville Cultural Diversity Faire – Essay Contest – Grand Prize
2002 - Vacaville Cultural Diversity Faire – Poetry Contest – Honorable Mention
2002 – Voices of Patriots – Poetry Contest – Second Place

Community Service

1996-2002 - Altar Server
1998 – Safety Patrol Award
1999 – Marine World Camp – Volunteer Counselor in Training
1999 – S.H.A.R.E Program Volunteer
1999 – S.H.A.R.E Program Volunteer
2000 – Teen Violence Prevention Conference – Representative
2001-2002 - Will C. Wood Cabaret – Fundraiser for music and drama departments at Will C. Wood High School


1997-1998 – Notre Dame School - 6th Grade Class Representative
1999 – Marine World Camp – Volunteer Counselor in Training
1999-2000 – Notre Dame School - Commissioner of School Spirit
2003-2004 - Co-President of the Sylvan Choir Council – Will C. Wood High School
1997-1998 – Notre Dame School - 6th Grade Class Representative
1999 – Marine World Camp – Volunteer Counselor in Training

Musical, Choral, and Theatrical

Kids Are Music
Christmas 1990
Christmas 1991
Christmas 1992
Christmas 1993
Christmas 1994
Christmas 1995
Christmas 1996
Christmas 1997
Christmas 1998
Christmas 1999
“Rock the Jukebox”
“Valley of the Bones”
“Disney I”
“Disney II”
“America Is”

1992 – “Fanta-Sea Christmas Pageant” – Sarah the Seahorse
1994- “Aesops Fables” – The Sun
1997-1999 – Piano
1998-1999 – Voice Lessons
2000-2001 - Cambium Choir – Soprano I and II
2001-2002 - Crescent Choir – Soprano I, Soprano II, Tenor I
2002-2004 - Sylvan Choir – Alto II, Alto III, Soprano I, Soprano II, Tenor I
2002-2004 - Sylvan Singers – Soprano I, Soprano II, Alto II
2000-2001 and 2003-2004 - Felyricani
2003-2004 - Klingenburg Male Chorus – Tenor I and Mascot
1999-2000 – “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” – Potiphar’s Wife
2000 – “Issues” – Various Roles
2000 – “Godspell” - Liz
2000-2001 – “Into the Woods” – Rapunzel
2001 – “The Outsiders” – Various Roles
2001 – “Little Women” - Marmee
2001 – ”Little Shop of Horrors” – Various Roles
2001-2002 – “Will C. Wood Cabaret” – Various Roles
2002 – “The Pirates of Penzance” – Pirate/Cop
2002 – “Annie” – Miss Hannigan
2002 – “Once On This Island” - Asaka
2002 – “I Never Saw Another Butterfly” – Irena Synkova
2002 – “Secrets” – Various Roles
2002 – “Antigone” - Ismene
2002 – “Madrigal Dinner” – Various Roles
2002-2003 – Company Performers – Various Roles
2002 – “The Nutcracker: A Magical Christmas Tale” - Claire
2003 – “Les Miserables” – Mme. Thenardier and Brujon
2002 - Vacaville Cultural Diversity Faire – Essay Contest – Grand Prize
2002 - Vacaville Cultural Diversity Faire – Poetry Contest – Honorable Mention
2002 – Voices of Patriots – Poetry Contest – Second Place
2003 – Canadian Tour
2003 - Most Valuable Award – Klingenburg Chorus
2003 – Most Dedicated Award – Klingenburg Chorus

Okay. Done with that segment. Have to go to work now. Oh joy.
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"Are you married?"   
04:08pm 15/06/2003
mood: working
I've made 195 dollars in the past 24 hours. Life is is prettier!
09:34am 14/06/2003
  Survey )  
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"Rallies suck...Rallies suck..."   
09:17am 14/06/2003
mood: naïve
music: Theme from "Cheers"
They grow up so fast.

The Senior class of 2003 graduated last night. All my friends, gone. It's a devestating event, really. Beautiful, but devestating. They're no longer peers. We'll no longer see eye-to-eye. They'll no longer see me as one of them. Now, I'm just the odd one out.

I watched them graduate with honors. These people that I have known forever...some for 14 years, some for 4 years, others for 4 months. I'll miss them all. I'll miss hearing their voices. I'll miss seeing their faces. I'll miss their hugs and their constructive criticism. I'll miss their jokes and their gossip and even their drama. I'll miss the good times, and the bad times. I'll miss all of that.

I fear that as time goes by, they'll start procrastinating about answering letters. "Another day," they'll say. And the weeks will turn to months, and the months will turn to years. They'll forget the jokes. They'll forget the laughter and the tears. It will all mesh under two, meaningless, shallow words; high school. They cry because their leaving. I cry because they're leaving and I'll be left behind. It's so selfish. But I know what I will feel 20 years from now. I'll look back on these four years and miss my friends, and my enemies. I'll wish that I had watched him sleep in the corner. I'll wish that I had savoured each word of the songs were sung. I'll wish that I had paid attention to every minute detail of the joy we shared. I'll wish I had gone to that party. I'll wish I had comforted that person.

It's not fucking fair! It's not fucking fair that we all have to grow up! That we are forced to leave behind the ones we love to be quote unquote successful! Change is awful. Change not only hurts you, but everyone around you. We are taunted with a few brief years of childhood, just for it to be snatched away from us. We're never warned of any of this! No one ever told me that it would be unacceptable to swing on swings anymore! No one ever told me that I couldn't make sandcastles at recess! I never got the memo stating that I couldn't play house and dress up!

I can see where all my problems come from. It all stems from my fear of change. My fear of being alone. I'm still playing house and dress up. The Sims is a "grown up" version of house. That's all it is. Every time I put on a costume for a show, I stand in front of the mirror and twirl around just like when I was three. I can't let it go. I can't grow up. I just can't. Why am I being forced to? Why does this have to happen? It isn't fucking fair!
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"As we go on, we remember..."   
08:41am 14/06/2003
mood: abandoned
They'll make new friends, but leave the old.
The silver shines so much brighter than the gold.
"Damn, I wish you was older, girl!"   
09:12pm 08/06/2003
mood: working
Eating disorders are nothing new.

Media triggering eating disorders isn't anything new, either.

How is a woman supposed to feel good about eating when, according the "holy bible", the expulsion of the human race from paradise was caused by a woman eating an apple.

I just thought of that. Deep, or pathetic?
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"Can we move your couch?"   
09:20am 08/06/2003
mood: good
Stayed up till 2 last night talking with Nick and Stephanie about relationship issues and such.

Woke up at 8. Why do I always do stuff like this?

I have work in...less than three hours, damn it. I shall not eat for the rest of the day...nor shall I eat tomorrow...maybe not the next day either. Fasting from today till tomorrow shouldn't be too difficult. I work from 12 to 7 with nasty looking food. That sort of kills my appetite.

I enjoy having a job. It gets me off my feet. Makes me feel responsible. I actually feel as if I'm worth something. Erin isn't going to be there tonight. She has weekends off. I hope they work me often. I love working. Time goes by pretty quickly too. And it doesn't get busy till around 5. That's only 2 hours of HARD ASS running around blindlessly. Everyone is so big there. I mean, the customers. It's a feeding ground for obesity. Kind of sad, depressing maybe.

I miss BROKEN. I mean, the Invision Boards are okay, but it's not the same. It shows you how many members are really active though. At BROKEN we have 400+ members, but it seems as if only 80 or so are actually actively posting. I don't mind. TF is always crowded. It's so inpersonal. I feel at home with BROKEN. I feel like Tanya and Amber and Jolie are my three mommies, and then I have Nicolby and PixieLust and GirlKill as my's just such a wonderful feeling. I haven't really been actively posting my weight issues in months, yet they still accept me. They don't judge on that. When I feel lonely and out of place in the outside world, I can just come to BROKEN and talk about bagels or something. It's just love. And no one pressures you to continue suffering from an eating disorder. Sigh. I love BROKEN.

I should shower soon. I feel ick. My legs need a good clean shaving. My teeth need a good clean does my hair. Despite all this, I often feel my most beautiful as soon as I get out of bed in the morning. Hm.
"I had pizza. Cheese. I went into the freezer. Saw the dishwasher. Big. That was all."   
09:11pm 05/06/2003
mood: sleepy
First day on the job. They like me. All the bus girls gave me parts of their tips. I earned 20 dollars towards the Matt "Aida" fund. Only 37 more to go until that's completely taken care of. Then I can save for the computer and Sims. Wahoo!
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"It's like 'RED ASPHALT' for your local Hometown Buffet!"   
08:00pm 04/06/2003
mood: responsible
I'm employed. This sudden onset of responsibility has inspired me to create a...


- Enroll in online Algebra II class
- Pay Matt for "Aida" tickets
- Buy new computer
- Buy Sims Superstar
- Buy Sims Delux
- Lose 20 + pounds *no more excuses!*
- Eat dinner at Hometown (salad/fruit only)
- Play Sims and be happy once more!
"Lesbian whale? What?"   
08:08am 02/06/2003
mood: accomplished
Yesterday I finally got a Hometown Buffet.

And...I lost 5 lbs. in water less than 24 hours. Odd day. I'm sleepy.
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"All those limes...and perfectly desolated..."   
07:36am 29/05/2003
  Sitting in my bathtub, depressed...when suddenly I realize I can recite all of the movie "Little Women" by memory. That's pretty pathetic.  
"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood..."   
08:11am 28/05/2003
mood: full
I'm so...sad.
And there's pizza in my stomach. It feels gross. I want to exercise.
"This little boy found an old edema bag and put rocks in it and went around hitting people with it."   
10:34am 27/05/2003
  Bah. Just...bah.  
"Luuucy, you have some 'splainin to dooo!"   
08:01am 22/05/2003
mood: 'Splainin
You ever see your shadow and want to scoop it into a big hug. My shadow looks so sad and fragile. I don't, though. Sad, yes. Fragile, I think not.

Lucy was 5'7 and 129 lbs. Whoah.

I'm so out of it and depressed. I painted a huge heart last night for an hour...but the edges curled. That upset me greatly. I have to get some new white paint, I guess.

I miss Broken. Sigh.
Une Vie Volee   
10:01am 20/05/2003
  I suck. Worthless. Fucking. Ah.  
10:02pm 15/05/2003
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Stephanie's Rant...   
09:33pm 14/05/2003
  so Becca needs tampons

and I bought the ones that I have with my own money, and I have very few left, so my mom's all, "Give her your tampons!"

and I was like, "Fuck no!" And my mom goes, "Do it now or I wil kill you!" And she comes over to me and pulls my hair and starts threatening me.

and so then my mom and my dad both left the house in a quest for "regular or super, I don't care" tampons for my sister.
"I Love Lucy and She Loves Me..."   
03:03pm 14/05/2003
mood: accomplished
Dude. I'm the president of the choir...
Co-President that is.
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:*random French cursing*:   
08:17am 03/05/2003
mood: prom-ish
Tis the day...PROM.
Nervous? Yes.
I had my nails done and my eyebrows waxed yesterday. The nails are making it very difficult to type. My hair appointment is at 11:30, still another three hours away. I should pick up the flower-thingie around 10. Take a shower at 9. I don't have to be at Caleb's till 6! How crazy is that? Pretty damn crazy. What am I supposed to do for those 5 hours? Sit and be pretty? Geez Louise!

I'm not eating till I get to prom. I'll be eating a lot there, anyway. Hm.
"The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent."   
08:09pm 27/04/2003
  I hope people at BROKEN don't hate me.

What ligea said about accepting that not everyone will accept you makes sense. I just don't understand why people wouldn't give someone a chance because of a little label. It just doesn't make sense to me. I think everyone deserves a chance.

When people don't like me, I have this crazy urge to fix what they don't like about me. There's nothing I can do about my age, though. I can change the date of my conception or birth. That's out of my control.

I'm so...sad. I love BROKEN. It was the first place where I didn't feel stupid about not weighing 95 lbs. or suffering from binge-eating disorder. It was the first place where people just let loose and have fun instead of constantly saying "Oh God no! I've gained a half pound!" or flaming each other non-stop. I was so happy to find BROKEN. I didn't even lie about my age, as I had for TF and the other forums, because I wasn't afraid of the discrimination I had seen elsewhere. Everyone who wasn't of age would get flamed up the ass. At BROKEN, no one seemed to care.

I guess not many people do care. I dunno. I'm so paranoid. I need to stop. Just breathe."Rosemary's Baby" is a good movie.
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