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yeah fuckers, i'm bored enough to write in this peice of shit again...i'm still uber pissed at my dad for fucking deleting all those people, but i'll have my buddy list back soon enough...in the mean time, i'm talking to the few people i have on my buddy list...or at least the few people that i want to talk to...man it's so fucking boring here!! i don't think we have school tomorrow, but who the fuck knows, this weather is just shitty....man, it's like 6:30 and i've only been up for like 5 fucking hours, haha! damn...
okay anyway..i really should write some of my better poems up here...let me find my poetry book and spend the next fucking 30 mintues typing up poems.....
'Untitled'
I want to hear a childs innocence cry out against the roar of propaganda. It's peircing scream sending echos across the sunset.
I want to see A young girls mind, brimming with disgusting concepts of the ways of "our" people. I want to see a young girls mind that can think these thoughts and not be afraid of the cruel, judgemental realities that infest our citizens.
I want to smell the salt in a little boys tears as he weeps for his father. His father, his father, a kind soul, in need of a new love. I want to hold him close to me, absorb his tears with my skin, let him know that just because he has no mother to read stories at night, he is still loved.
I just want to feel the rough skin Of an old, wrinkled woman, whose life has been over looked by society. I want to wrap my fingers around words that she whispers softly to herself in artificial heat, created by the buzz of corporations.
I want to scream against barriers and make echos across the sunset. I want to lick the salty wounds of young soldiers in Iraq. I want to force my fists through brick walls of discrimination, sexism, racism, homophobia, criticism, Until they bleed out distraugh voices, afraid... Afraid of telegrams afraid of black boxes, afraid of trusting our leaders when they tell us that we're winning when they tell us that we're okay.
I want to not be reminded of Hitler when I see our nations actions. I want to paint my words on the face of today I want to not be afraid.
'My Southern Descent'
My southern descent haunts me. My own ancestors cracked the whip of slavery. They sat dining on fine wines while children worked away innocence In the cotton fields.
My southern descent howls through the maple trees and the city lights. Where telephone poles stand, My ancestors slaves wover their blood into sun stricken plants.
My southern descent throws blows of reality as I sit in classrooms, listening to the extremities my ancestors went to to simply sit on their asses While innocent POEPLE, wrongfully colored Negro, and Nigger, worked under their bigotry and stupidity.
My southern descent bleeds out tender drops of narcissim. They looked themselves in the eye and with what they saw, they were satisfied.
My southern descent haunts me.
'Letter to Will Harmon'
Dearest Will, Not much has happened in this "quiet" town in the past months we've with hel pages filled with words of middle school torment, humor, anguish. In all the days past, there have been gunshots, riots, newborns... Teenagers being reborn into soft sheets of paper, embraced by words on a page and finally realizing who they are.
Others ignore that little voice in their heads... They're just to amazed by the idea of being..."cool" accepted where as I am often miscomprehended. And I envy the sparrows with their sweet, simple song sounding through and through the tops of pine trees, simple yet...beautiful.
I sit in parked cars watching strangers drive around empty parking lots looking for already empty parking spots as the sun sets on what we 'today',
Oh dearest Will, how I long to walk, barefoot against the left over raindrops from rainstorms that fall into the mountains. How I was to be away from all the overwhelming immaturity danving in front of my eyes dressed in silver linens.
I miss the days of undeniable happiness and being able to find beauty in an overcast sky. Where as here I have to struggle to find the good things in some people. They mean well, I know it, but for to long they've been blinded by the obscure view of the world limited to, "Fuck you, I'm cool"... Fucking propaganda...
Obviously I'm ranting on about the endless negativity. Well fuck that, I won't live that way, I'll just sit silently, pondering the unobscured views from midnight snack.
Love always & forever more, Hilary
okay that's all i'm fucking writing for now..and that last poem is like mostly about my camp, camp celo...and will harmon was like one of my best friends there and he had this big ass crush on me but i was going out with james..oh well, he's like the fucking funniest person i've ever met!! well, i've gone through a whole FUCKING CD just doing this entry so i'm gonna jet, au revior and toodles!!
-h-
p.s. all poems are © H.RAGIN '04 so don't fuck with them, they're mine, assholes!
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