Drugs Bunny's Soap Of Life
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[N1T3CLUB] [ Drugs Bunny ]

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[13 Apr 2003|03:09am]






UGH WHAT THE FUCK!!!! I hate these stupid quizzes!!! First Im a pretty boy and now Im a jock?!?! WTF I despise both of them types of people! Im a skater punk druggie dammit...why dont they have an option for that?!

Hmmm but this could be to my benifit ;) Anyone wanna hook up with a Pretty boy Jock ;):D

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[10 Apr 2003|09:20pm]
I am 41% Evil Genius

I want to be evil. I do evil things. But given the opportunity, and a darn good reason I may turn to the good side. Besides I am probably a miserable evil genius.

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The Poor [07 Apr 2003|04:50pm]
[ mood | stressed ]
[ music | Whisky In The Jar--Metallica ]

I got my taxes done today! And guess what?!?! Ima be FuCkInG pOoR!! I owe $1,052 to the state of minnesota and $2,685 to the US Government! :| Add on the $1,509.86 I owe the US Government from the year before and I owe a grand total of $5,246.86 :'(

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[07 Apr 2003|12:45am]
breast implants!
YOU HAVE BREAST IMPLANTS!!!


what's YOUR deepest secret?
brought to you by Quizilla

Errrr :|

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The Dream [06 Apr 2003|03:39pm]
[ mood | embarrassed ]
[ music | Headstrong-tell me who sings it cuz i dunno & i wanna buy it ]

Wow I haven't written in here for a while. Well nothing really interesting has been going on. Anyway.....NO ONE REMINDED ME TO TELL ABOUT MY DREAM!!! I finally remembered today so now I will tell it!

Me and Marc had a pet snake. And like this one night I was fucking Marc and the snake got in bed with us and stuck his tail up Marcs ass while I was fucking him, and fucked him with me. It felt damn good....and like after a bit I was like "WHAT THE FUCK IM HAVING A 3 SOME WITH A SNAKE!!!" So I pulled out and the snake did too, and the snakes tail had a red thing sticking out of it. The reason it felt so good was cuz of that red thing....it gave off some kind of drug when stimulated that gave the genital area of the sexual partners an orgasmic tingling during intercourse. I dont really remember the rest to much, but I think even though it felt so good I was to traumatized after having sex with a snake that me and marc let it loose outside.

Fucking weird huh?! I wonder what that dream was supposed to mean. God now that I told about this dream...Im never going to live it down

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The Funny [27 Mar 2003|05:25pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I love how MSN groups have the option to get messages posted sent to your email box. I found a damn funny message that had been deleted in RR. I'm not gonna post all of it, just the funny part......

uh rich
i dun really care if u think ima lil immature whore ass bastard who cheats on everyone that im with or some shit like that coz its not gonna change anything


Thats from John. Do I think John is immature?!? YES!!!!!!!! But never did I say he cheats on everyone cuz in fact I thought he was a good boyfriend to Keith. I did say something about he should tell Keith about Lance but never said he was a bad boyfriend. Anyway...
On to the funny part
I laughed about how he said he dont care or whatever. Cuz ya know what, I already knew that and so do others. John dont give a shit bout no one unless it favors him. Thats where the immaturity part comes to play. Alot of people have been feeling that way about him lately. I cant wait for the day when he grows up and learns that life isn't all fun and games, and also learns the meaning of friendship. He dont care about friends' feelings just like he dont care if he loses them as long as everything is all fun and games he could care less and forget about them. I hope he grows up soon, cuz he would actually be a cool as hell person not to mention a good friend.

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The Breaths [21 Mar 2003|04:30pm]
[ mood | sad ]

I have been a nursing assistant for about 5 years now. Today something happened that has only happened one other time to me in my career. I watched someone die. Dont get me wrong, Ive taken care of lots of dead people, but its rare to be there when they go.

I got to work this morning, and the nurse asked who had this lady...and of course it was me. Well he said that she had about 2 minutes left to live so you might wanna get in there to get her ready. By getting ready I mean like washing the body up and making sure they look ok for the family when they get there. Well I sat there on her bed holding her hand as her breaths spread farther and farther apart till finally she took her last one.

That is one of the most weirdest feelings you can experience in my opinion. Wondering if she knew I was there, and wondering if she was thinking...why is someone who has only taken care of me and known for only 2 months here at my bedside...while people I shared my whole life with aren't around. How lonely she must have felt, if she even knew what was going on. A lady who had a great long life, got to spend her final moments with me. That is a weird feeling that I cant even begin to describe. And even worse...as her breathing slowed and her eyes stared off appearing to be looking straight at me, I began to wonder how it must feel to know the person holding your hand will continue on in life, while your life is coming to an end. What a horrible feeling it must be to know that people will go on with out you there, and how much you will miss what happens further on in life.

I dont know what more I can say about this, so much comes to mind...thoughts, questions, feelings but they are all to hard to put into words. So I'll leave it like this and just hope that if there is something beyond this life...she is happy where she is, and I hope that she knows she didnt leave this world alone.

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The Makeover [19 Mar 2003|06:36pm]
[ mood | creative ]
[ music | Dead In HollyWood -- Murderdolls ]

I just spent like an hour giving this journal a new look :) Colors that look good together are so fucking hard to choose!! Um I wonder how come Matt never told me he got a blurty :| OK I had this dream the other night and it was really REALLY really freaking weird. But I'm not gonna post about it today, it'll give me something to post about another time....so someone remind me!


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The Addiction [19 Mar 2003|04:07pm]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | Addicted -- Simple Plan ]

I found this game on yahoo games called Tornado 21. I CANT STOP PLAYING IT!! :( Its so fucking addicting. So ya whoever reads this....GO PLAY IT!! Its cool cuz you can see how well you do compared to everyone else on your yahoo messenger. And so far I have the highest score out of all of you :p So try to beat me

Lets see what else. This new life thing sux. But its for the best. I tried m4m and adultbi but um, they arent the same. Im sorry but i have nothing in common with people 1,000,000 years older than me! So I sit in my chatroom and my chatroom only. It has kind of become my messenger. So ya if people want to talk to me, they can go there to do it :) I had like 70+ people on my old MSN messenger, on my new one I have 11. Its nice and quiet which is what I need for the time being. No more seeing stupid names popping up all the time, and multiple sign ins with things that don't make sense. That really irratated me. I'm sure eventually I will have almost everyone added back, but its nice right now to have a small group who I know real good, and a few I want to know better on my messenger.

The other night I talked to Sammy and Evan on the phone. It was the first time talking to Evan. They both have deep sexy voices :D My car got fixed too!! I'm so happy I don't have to be a kiss ass to get rides home from people now. So now at work I can really be a bitch to people, and not worry about having to walk home.

That quiz below made me mad! I ain't no fuckin pretty boy! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm a fucking punk ass skater boy wannabe with extreme gay urges, but I guess they didn't have a picture icon for that so they said I was a pretty boy LOL

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[18 Mar 2003|11:15pm]
pretty boy
You Are The Pretty Boy


What Type Of Gay Man Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


PFFT!

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The Year [17 Mar 2003|10:39pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | The sound of the 45mph wind blowing outside ]

OMG!!! One year ago today, Marc drove all the way from Boston Massachusetts to come move in with me :D Boy has the time flown by!!! Well hope there is more years to come :)

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The Call [16 Mar 2003|07:18pm]
[ mood | cold ]
[ music | Bring Me To Live--Evanescene ]

OMG!! Matt called us last night. This was the first time I have ever heard his voice for as long as I have known him. So sexy! I was so obsessed with Matt not to long ago. I was in denial. Everyone kept telling me I was, including Marc, but I never noticed. Then this one day it hit me...OMG I AM OBSESSED WITH MATT! and I have a boyfriend who I love what the fuck am I doing?! So ya I backed off a ton, and am happy just having him as a great friend. Even though he isn't the same no more, I still like him :) I'm glad he stopped being down on himself all the time, but at times it seems he is to up on himself. :| Which isn't bad, but its just a Matt I'm not used to. A typical convo used to be.....

Rich- Matt your so hot
Matt- I am not Im ugly
Rich- Shut the hell up you are not ugly!!

Now the convos are like.....

Rich- Matt your so hot
Matt- I know arent I?

So ya um I hope Matt isn't mad...cuz he isn't like that all the time. And I am happy he knows how damn good he looks :) I'll just have to get used to the change.






take the antisocial test.


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The GoodBye [12 Mar 2003|11:35pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

So um ya...I know a few posts ago I talked about leaving the online life. Well um it starts tonight. I have a new email address now and I'll be changing my Yahoo and AIM names as well. There is so much going on in my mind right now...I will miss everyone...but tis for the best. NOT ONE FUCKING person messaged me when my messenger name popped up as "Blocks everyone Bye" or whatever I made it. I spose I didn't expect much from young people whose main concern is having fun and being as immature as possible. That don't go for everyone, but the majority. So ya whatever. I try so hard to make a chatroom cool, and make a group cool and they barely get used. All the fucking hard work and hours I put in to trying to make that shit the best it can be goes to waste...and for who?! People who seem to give it the time of day when they have nothing better to do. I know I can't compete with people younger than me who have better things to do than I do, but it still bugs me in a way. Ugh...I don't know where to go. I hate fucking Men4Men cuz its full of a bunch of old men! LGY is the only place where you can chat with both genders around your age. And I don't wanna go there nor can I. Well I spose I could, but I dont want to base a friendship on lies. So I made my own room, but I sit sometimes for up to 3 hours until someone other than a spammer visits and stays for longer than a minute. I wish there was a popular and busy chat where both boys and girls go like LGY. For some reason the one I made sucks, so I'll go to someone elses.

This is so off the point but its the main thing on my mind right now. There is much more to it, then just some stupid chatroom. But I feel good about starting over. I can build new and meaningful friendships. People who will actually give a fuck if a friend was thinking of blocking them. I am sounding like such a pathetic loser, I got so many people on my messengers, yet barely talk to any of them...and at teh same time want to be best friends with them all. So starting over will be cool, so I can start from the beginning and meet people who like hold conversations about things and do more than be immature. And like I said there are more reasons, but this is the main stuff on my mind right now. If I feel like it later I'll post more. So ya I'll still post here to update my life. But with in a week, everyone will move on with their lives and forget there ever was a Rich. So ta ta kisses n hugs and all that shit.

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The Rambling [12 Mar 2003|08:28pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | Somewhere I Belong -- Linkin Park ]

mk Matt says I don't update this enough. So Matt....this entry is for you! :P Um hmm what to say. Well I think Walter and I are friends again. We are on speaking terms now. :) Um I know a couple entries ago I said I quit my job, but I always do shit with out thinking. It took a couple days of hard thinking and decided I would stop being "sick" and re-dedicate my self to my job. Not the employees mind you, but the people I am there to take care of. Since I have been back I have been doing more work and less sitting around with the rest of them. So what if I have to do more than my share...I am there to make the residents lives better, not to be best buds with the people I wouldn't dare to be seen with out of the work place. So um there I updated and Matt Pack.....

I HOPE YOUR HAPPY NOW :p

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The Fast [05 Mar 2003|02:04pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | Little Things--Good Charlotte ]

I GOT CABLE TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy shit! I never imagined how fast this shit was!! Its amazing!! Like songs that took 45 minutes to download before now only takes like 2 minutes!! Shitty thing is that I can't think of anything to download, cuz I wasted like 2 weeks downloading like 50 songs I could think of. :(

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The Quitter [03 Mar 2003|07:59pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Ugh I work with a bunch of women at the nursin home. Lately our job has been asking way to much of us...these girls who have been there forever have been on PMS like all month due to all the stress I guess lately. Well today I had enough!!!! A big argument ensued during breakfast involving me and a few others. They were sitting around and not passing breakfast trays, so I made the comment about them beng lazy and some bitch had to say "why cuz it means you have to do a little more work?" That PISSED ME THE FUCK OFF!!!! So after breakfast I was like fuck this place, went upstairs to the scheduler, said I was sick and asked to go home. She said ok. So I left without telling any of my co-workers and left them short handed :) BUT little do any of them know....IM NOT COMING BACK! Im sick of the bullshit and the bitchiness...

I FUCKING QUIT!

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The Update [26 Feb 2003|05:11pm]
[ mood | guilty ]
[ music | Starry Eyed Suprise -- Paul Okenfold ]

Hmm not much has been going on lately. Except it just seems as if I'm getting lazier and lazier each day. I seem to be having Marc do everything for me! Its like that Snickers commercial they have out now where the boy screams for help and his sister goes to check it out and he is sitting on the couch and asks her to give him the remote on top of the tv. That is totally me lately. It is pathetic and so unfair to Marc. I am really going to try to better myself in this. I should wait on him, and not the other way around.

I dunno wtf has been going on with me lately! On Monday night I TOTALLY forgot I had to work!!! I was supposed to be in at 10pm...around midnight I called to see if I had to work Tuesday morning cuz I couldn't remember if I picked it up or not. The supervisor was like..."Your calling to see if you work tomorrow?!? Have you been drinking...your supposed to be at work 2 hours ago!!!" I was like "NO way are you joking?!" He was like no...so I told him I would be right in. That is so unlike me to forget when I am supposed to work!!!

I dunno whats up with me and Walter. He emailed me an apology and what not and I emailed him back...but like thats it. We haven't talked since even though he has been coming to the chatroom when I am there. I miss him, but I don't know where to go from here. Oh well, one day one of us will give in and say something to the other one...then all will be fine.

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The Upset [22 Feb 2003|07:43pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]
[ music | None Of Your Damn Business ]

I am sick and tired of feeling like everyone online hates me! Like as each day goes on, its proven more and more. Like in chat, I feel invisible. There are a few people who I think find me disgusting. I wish they didn't feel that way about me. And no I'm not reffering to the people who don't like me, I'm reffering to the people who I consider friends. I wish I could just like find a new chatroom and start over, but I would miss everyone to much, and there really isn't another chatroom to chat with just people my age. The sad thing is though, that if I did go...only a few people would give a fuck. No one else would ask what happened to me and just go on with their lives like I never existed. Maybe I should just stop chatting and messaging people. But then only a few would even bother to message me, and I wouldn't be able to find new friends. Ugh fuck this, there really is no point to type my feelings out like this cuz all its doin is making me more pissed off. Therefore I'm gonna go before I block everyone online.

To those of you who made me feel this way I got something to say.....

THANK YOU! for making me feel like shit!

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The Insult [19 Feb 2003|03:13pm]
[ mood | angry ]

Tricuspid_ : [Skater][Boi].......... dude what happned too your face .... dayum your poster child for ... www.uglypeople.com

FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKER :)

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The Pathetic [16 Feb 2003|08:50pm]
[ mood | distressed ]
[ music | All The Things She Said--TaTu ]

IM FUCKING LAZY!

Thats right...me, Rich is a lazy bastard and I am getting so sick of it! All I do is sit online from the time I get home from work or from the time I wake up till the time I go to bed. The house is a fucking disaster, and ya know what Im to lazy and unmotivated to clean it! Gay Rave sux, and Im to fucking lazy to do anything with it. I wish I had more motivation lately but it seems all I can do is sit around. At work I used to be sooo fast getting people up and dressed for breakfast...now Im always like a half hour late getting my people to the dining room! All I do is eat fast food! I am so unhealthy. I wish I could cook, but guess what?! IM TO LAZY!! Maybe its cuz I work so damned much and dont sleep enough. And that is due to the fact that I have a lazy boyfriend who cant find a decent job. I have to work all these hours to pay the bills cuz his job pays crap. Maybe Im lazy cuz I have been smoking a TON of weed lately....well maybe Im over exaggerating but its alot compared to how much I usually smoke it.

Have I confused you yet?!?

I wish I could be active in things, and eat right and work out so I can have an awesome body! But all I would rather do is sit online or sleep. I dont know why I stay online all the time. Lately I feel like I annoy everyone, and no one really likes me...but put up with me so they dont feel mean. There really is no point to this whole entry rather than needing it to vent and get some feelings out. Nothing will change...it all sounds good in type but its not gonna happen. I wish I felt closer to people online, but almost everyone I talk to is younger than me, and have their own groups of friends...and Im the oddball.

Anyway in other news....I have never gotten the whole "Current Music" thing in online journals. I dont know why its there and what purpose it serves. But I always see people put down a song...whether or not they are actually listening to it at the time is another story. Im tired of leaving it blank or trying to think of something to add, cuz I never listen to music while im online unless MTV happens to be on. So I downloaded a ton of songs today that I dont own as a CD. So now I can put a song down without having to think, cuz Ill actually be listening to a song. Sounds stupid huh?

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The Valentines [14 Feb 2003|11:14pm]
[ mood | loved ]

Wow Marc suprized the hell out of me today!! We have been together for almost a year now and he has never like planned out a suprize for me! Well today it FINALLY happened!! I bought him a card, a basket that had a stuffed tiger with a heart and a rose and chocolate, and I bought him a heart shaped box of chocolate covered cherries yesterday. When he drove me to work this morning I was gonna leave it for him to see for when he came back, but I was like..."He's just gonna get me a card so if I leave this stuff out he will go to the store and get me more stuff." So I decided to wait to leave it out for him when he came home from work. Well when he came home...he handed me a stuffed monkey that was holding a heart, and it had a card attached. I was like "awww" I read the card...it had a note in it...I thought it was a cheesy valentines day poem but it didnt sound right. Upon reading it again....I realized it was telling me to look in the closet. I was like "Wtf did you do?!" So I went to the closet and inside was a wrapped present! I was totally in shock! I opened it and was one of those lava lamp type things except instead of lava it had an alien inside!!!! I LOVE ALIENS!! AND I LOVE MY MARC!!! I cant believe he did that for me! Then when he went for the phone he saw my stuff I left for him, but my stuff wasnt as expensive as what he got me. I feel bad, but also happy cuz he was so thoughtful and planned somethign special for me for once.

Then we went to go see DareDevil! OMG it was sooo packed we had to sit in the front row!!! I didnt have high expectations for this movie, and the movie was just a tad bit better than expected.

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The Threesome [11 Feb 2003|05:39am]
[ mood | dirty ]

Dan came over tonight....in fact he just left! We had drank some Captain Morgan Silver, smoked some weed. We got real horny and guess what?!?!? WE FINALLY HOPPED IN BED TOGETHER! It was so awkward!

**Public Service Announcement**
This is about to get very graphic....if you don't want details then I suggest you move to another entry NOW!

He told us to kiss so we did, and as we were he brought his face up to us and joined in. Things went quickly from there. Soon we were all naked and OMG! He was fat :| His stomach had rolls!! Its amazing how clothes make you look thin!!! Well anyway.....HIS DICK IS SKINNY!!! Online he had been like "I'm 7.5" what a LIAR!! He was maybe a 6! OMG the pics he sent made is dick look sooooooooooo much bigger. Anyway me n marc each took a nipple and began sucking. He moaned like crazy! I was like thinking in my head "ok um ew" After a while we made a triangle...which was pretty cool cuz everyone got a dick in their mouth :) Then after a bit we traded so we could have a different dick in our mouth! LOL! Then he wanted someone to fuck him. And guess what?!? HE PICKED ME! So he put a condom on me and some lube and climbed on top and FUCKING SAT THERE!! He moaned like crazy! I was all waiting for some up and down motion so I could feel something, but all he did was sit there and lean back and forth just moaning. I was getting soooooooooo turned off!! Thankfully after a bit he suggested me and marc fuck :) So we did. Now I began to feel something! Marc was on his knees while I was fucking him and Dan was giving marc a blow job! That lucky bastard I was so jealous!! Marc said it felt soooooo good! After a bit we all laid next to each other and kissed while we jerked off and erupted! Dan took the longest to go cuz like he wasnt even hard barely the whole time we were doing shit :| Anyway as he was about to come he started SCREAMING! I think he dont get laid to often

Dan left and we went to shower. OMG I feel sooooooooooooo dirty!! He was so gross naked! Plus he TOOK HIS HAT OFF when we got in bed!

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The Tired [09 Feb 2003|06:52pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

UGH! I have worked my ass off the last few days. Check this out.....

Thursday: 10:00pm-6:30am
Friday: 6:30am-2:30pm
Saturday: 6:00am-2:30pm & 10:00-6:30am
Sunday: 6:30am-2:30pm

All that equals VERY little sleep for me! I'm fucking tired so this is all I'm going to write tonight!

(1 Nut | P-Nut Gallery)

The Chat! [08 Feb 2003|08:58pm]
[ mood | horny ]
[ music | Kurt Angle's entrance music (WWE) ]

OMG! Check out this convo I had online with Dan...

Dan: tell me have you and marc ever talked about me?
Me: um ya
Dan: like what about
Me: lol y u ask?
Dan: jusss cuzzzzz:-D
Me: we've talked about how hot u r, and um...what we would do with you...and um...i dunno...just like how interesting u r lol
Dan: what do you want to do with me?
Me: lmao omg y r u asking?
Dan: just cuz i wanna know
Me: have u ever thought about us?
Dan: pleeeeeeeeease yea
Dan: i like that you both have piercings, piercings r hot
Dan: so what do you guys want to do with me?
Me: hmm i dunno...we were just gonna see what happened
Dan: well if you leave it up to me then crazy things will happen
Dan: i wanna give u both head at he same time
Me: thats what u want to do with us?
Dan: oh therealotta things lol....i prolly shouldnt even say half of them
Me: do tell!
Dan: i like ropes
Me: ropes?
Dan: hehehe, i like being tied up
Me: im sure that could be arranged
Dan: itd b fun to give head while someone was fuckig me
Me: ya! or getting head while being fucked that something we wanna do
Dan: hehee yea that too
Dan: i can go like 4-5 times in a row tooo
Dan: i wanna tie up marc too....but dont ell him
Me: y u wanna tie him up?
Dan: cuz its fun hahaha i dunno im weird
Dan: ahhhhhhhhh i got to much sex on the brain
Me: how big r u?
Dan: like 7 1/2
Dan: what r you and marc?
Me: im like 7 and marc is like 6.5
Dan: the biggest ive taken was a 8 1/2
Dan: its one of the few things im actually good at
Dan: i can even deep throat that
Dan: damn...now i cant wait till monday
Dan: my fav thing about both of you....is that you both have very nice eyes
Dan: friendly eyes.......its sexy
Me: weird...we think your eyes are sexy too

HEHE!! WOW this was a total unexpected convo with him! But boy, I cant want till monday either :)

(1 Nut | P-Nut Gallery)

The Slam?! [06 Feb 2003|02:50am]
[ mood | aggravated ]
[ music | Marc's Snoring ]

From Walts Journal.....

"Well....Rich missing me....that ended pretty Quick....gee...there goes my few moments of happiness"


WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?!? UGH!

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The Sadness [05 Feb 2003|11:48pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | Cry Me A River -- JT :) ]

Ugh! I feel like I lost one of my best friends. Hmm maybe cuz I did :| I dont know what the fuck happened...but last night Walter just decided to leave Gay Rave (my online group that he helps manage) and block me. Well he blocked more than me I guess...but apparently not everyone cuz some people have talked to him. I guess me and him werent as good of friends as I thought. All my online friends are dear to me, but some of them are more special than the rest. Them people I can talk to for hours and never run out of stuff to talk about, and I feel like I can tell them anything. These are the type of people that no matter how busy I am, I take the time to talk to them anyway. They include Sam, James, Walter and Matt. When I first met Walter I didnt like him AT ALL! He started hosting in the chatroom I hosted in (LesbianGayYouth) and I read his profile and was like "This dude sounds very self centered and egotistical." But after talking to him I realized he was a very caring person, and grew to be someone I really liked. It really hurts that there is something wrong with him and he wont talk to me about it....and it hurts more that he gives people messages to give to me. WTF is up with that?!? He told someone to tell me he isnt mad at me, but to not tell me himself leads me to believe otherwise. And whatever it could be is bugging the shit out of me :(

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The Misleading [31 Jan 2003|04:55pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | High--by Feeder ]

I dun really know why I have a journal online. I doubt anyone takes the time to read about my boring life. And the ones who do read Im sure have already heard all this stuff from talking to me b4 this stuff is written lol.

Anyway last night I was talking with Dan and all of a sudden he sends me a pic. So i open it and its...its...its A PIC OF HIS ASS! I was like "omg that was spontaneous" then he proceeds to send me pics of his dick. Its not as big as I thought/hoped but at least I wont feel to small beside his cuz it looks as if we are equal in length :) Anyway...

ON TO LATE BREAKING NEWS!!

I found out last night that one of my long time friends I met in a chatroom called LesbianGayYouth isnt who he said he was :( His name and pic were all a lie! I spose its nothing new, cuz half the people on the net are liars, but it just sux when it is someone you are damn close to. I am one of the few who now know his secret now...

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The Sleepover [29 Jan 2003|05:12pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | What if Im not listening to any? :( ]

Well Dan spent the night the night before last :) We smoked some more weed and drank ALOT! We ended up arm wrestling on the floor and in the process his hat got knocked off! No biggie right? Well it looks like he is going bald! :| He put his hat on quickly, but it was to late. I dont think he knows I saw, but I did, and what a turn off. So anyway...he ended up passing out :( Me and Marc wanted to have a 3way with him. We tried to wake him up but he said to let him sleep. So when he went home yesterday I talked to him online and he said we should have kicked his ass to wake him up cuz he would have wanted to do it. UGH! So ya next time he comes we will make it into bed Im sure. Ill just be sure that he keeps his hat on.

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The Meeting :) [27 Jan 2003|02:33am]
[ mood | drunk ]
[ music | B2k--Bump Bump Bump ]

Ha Ha Im real wasted right now! Well anyway...OMG!! Me and Marc met this dude tonight that I met on gay.com. He is 19 gay and not to mention HOT!! Well anyway I was sooo nervous. We were gonna drink so I told him to meet us at the liquor store cuz there was no way we were gonna show him where we live unless we see him first. So ya I bought a bottle then he pulled up and like we were like follow us just like that lol. He was a lil weird WAY talkative but that was cool. So like we smoked some weed and drank a bottle of Bacardi O :) We watched Freddy Got Fingered and then MTV for the longest time lol. Then marc started getting sick and we like scared him away. So ya when marc was in the bathroom puking he was like "i should go' i was all like no you can stay but he left. On his way out he gave me a hug :) Awww So ya anyway Im listening to Marc puke still :| And Im talking to dan on messenger and like here is some of it....

streetboy111: hey i hopr this remark goes over well, but you and your bf are both really hot
streetboy111: O:-)
BlackLightGlows: um ya i thought the same
streetboy111: i could always come back

so ya ima go talk with him some more bye bye...

oh ya um id like to take this oppertunity to thank scotty for putting up with my dumbass to help me make this journal! And um thank you to those of you who replied to the last entry :)

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The Past [24 Jan 2003|05:17pm]
[ mood | Remembering ]

mk...Ima bore you all with my past up until now. I was born in a small town in Minnesota on like Nov 30th. I like lived there till I was 4. Then we moved to Jacksonville, NC and I lived there till 10. Then we moved to Oceanside, CA. I say I grew up there cuz like um ya...basically all I can remember of my young years is Cali. I had my first gay experience in 6th grade in my tent in the backyard. I like didn't know what gay was...but I found out then!! LOL! So since that time I knew I was gay. I also learned that night what masterbating was! In the 9th grade I had my first boyfriend, his name was Josh. The funny thing about him is that he was my enemy from 6th grade till 8th grade :| I had no idea he was gay till like this one day he was like "i'm gay, and I know you are so lets go out" I was like OMG!!! Cuz like NO ONE knew at the time bout me. Guess that gaydar shit is true. On my 15th birthday he spent the weekend at my house. During that time we told my sister about us. She was cool with it, in fact to cool...cuz come Monday when I got home from school she told my mom!!!! She was like "I was so happy for you guys I had to tell someone" I was like " You stupid hoe...so you told mom of all people?!?" So ya...my mom did the typical "what did we do wrong" speech. And after a few weeks of counseling I was "cured". Me n Josh dated for 9 long happy months. Then like...I kept skipping school and hanging out with the bad people (gangs) so like my mom was like "We are moving back to Minnesota" which I have lived now since I was 15. It SUX here!! So ya anyway...I went from a dork in Cali...to a MAJOR popular kid in Minnesota. I think like the fact that I was from Cali..and most people from around here haven't even been out of this state had something to do with my popularity. Well anyway...my junior year I discovered WEED!!!! I was dishwashing at a chinese restaurant and the cook who was around my age was like "come smoke this with me" so I was like "um ok" I WAS SOOOO HIGH :) So after that I left the preps and started hanging with the punk/skaters. This is where I met Mike & Chris. They were frshman and they idolized me. Well anyway Mike & I were in this play together...and one day while we were performing he was like "Me & Chris like to give each other blowjobs" I was like "OMFG!!!! no way" cuz like Chris was SO straight acting!! He was like "ya but we arent gay or anything...it just feels good" So I made a lil lie and was like "thats cool...I have done that before just to see what it was like" but that convo really didnt amount to much lol. Chris however was a different story. I figured if I told him about my "lil experiment" he would tell me about his. WRONG! That really sucked cuz I REALLY wanted to hop in bed with him :) Before I had to go to my junior prom Chris said he would smoke me up. So we went to some deserted feild and smoked. I got so high!! That prom kicked ass cuz I had so much fun. Well anyway a few days later I was at school and I guess the tux store called cuz I forgot to turn something in...so my mom went to my room to see if she could find it and return it. She found it...and guess what was under it?!? The FUCKING NOTE REMINDING ME TO SMOKE WITH CHRIS BEFORE PROM!!! When I got home from school my mom was like "we have an appointment" i was like "what I didnt know nothing about it" she was like "get in the car we are late" as we pulled into the police station I was like "what the fuck are we doing here?" She said that they wanted to talk to me about something. While in the waiting room she did the whole "is there anything you want to tell me speech" I was like "um no" then she pulls out that fucking note!! I was in the detectives office for 3 hours getting lectured on the wrong of drugs. I didn't get in trouble or anything with the cops...cuz my dad was still living in Cali he thought I needed a male rolemodel and felt it was his duty now to be the one. Well after that incident things were never the same between me and my mom.

Am I boring you yet?!? I bet I am...but like the JUICY stuff is next :)

Well that summer before my senior year Chris snuck over to smoke me up. We sat in my driveway puffing away then climbed through my window to hang out. He wanted to watch some porn. So I was like "um ok" After a while this girl was giving this guy a blowjob and Chris goes "I wish someone would do that to me" my stomach dropped to my feet as I said "I would if you want" after a bit of silence he UNZIPS AND PULLS IT OUT!! Now boys n girls this wasnt just any dick...this one was HUGE!! Before he could change his mind I swallowed as much of that thing as I could...and went to town. After a bit...he pulls me away and says "This is how I do it" and to my shock all that stuff Mike had told me was true!! UGH Chris was soooo hot and sooo good and sooo huge! Till this day I still have a thing for him :| Well after that incident it was like it never happened. As I have come to believe over the hundreds of times this would happen with Chris when we would get trashed...he is a closet gay person...and it takes intoxication to bring out the good side of him. The August before my senior year I finally got ungrounded from the prom incident (that happened in may so I was grounded for 4 months!!) Coincedentally Mike decided to run away that day and come to my house! Me and my friend was there waiting to go to work and I told Mike to stay in my room till I got home. We went to work...and at that time my mom also worked there too (the chinese restaurant) she had become the manager. Well anyway on break me and my friend who was dishwashing with me decided to steal some chinese food and bring it to Mike. Off to my house I went...I went down to my room...and Mike was sleeping on my bed. I was like "Mike I brought you some food" There was no answer...I set the food on the dresser and noticed all these empty pil bottles....looking more closely I also noticed empty ALCOHOL BOTTLES!! I was like " MIKE TELL ME YOU DIDNT TAKE ALL THEM PILLS?!?!?" He woke for a second and says "Shut up Im almost in heaven" then passed back out. I FREAKED!!!! If my friend wouldnt have heard me flipping out Mike would not have lived. Me not thinking straight, thought of how I had just got ungrounded..and how much deeper shit I was in now...started throwing the empty bottles under my bed....tottally oblivious to the half dead best friend in my bed. My friend came down and was like whats going on. Frantically I told him and he was like we have to get him out of here!! So we drove 100mph literally to the hospital. I had to tell his parents and they came ASAP and as soon as his dad saw me....he went apeshit all over my ass! Security had to come to get him away from me. Well anyway...the doctors told us Mike only had a 1/2 hour left to live if we hadnt have found him. My mom had to come since it was her pills Mike took. So the drive home was full of lectures....but to my suprize I didnt get grounded. The fact that I couldnt sleep in my room for at least 3 weeks, and whenever I got by the doorway I would picture my best friend laying there almost dead and would shake all over and start to cry, Im sure had something to do with her decision not to ground me.

WAKE UP!!!

My senior year was pretty uneventful. Smoked alot of weed, had lots of bj's with Chris...ya know the usual :P I got a new job as a nursing assistant...and I worked midnights then would go to school afterwards :| I lost the job at the chinese place cuz of the Mike incident....if you work for chinese ppl....be sure you come back from your 15 minute break...cuz if you dont...not even the excuse of saving your best friends life can save your job. The coolest thing about my senior year was that I was up for Homecoming King...but got disqualified cuz I wouldnt make a good represenative of the school. I guess my getting stoned and going through the mcdonalds drive-thru naked didnt make me the CHS poster boy LOL. (yes i did do that...it was a dare and if i did it i got a cheeseburger and i had the munchies and no money) Anyway that prompted me to write an article in the school paper saying how if I was a prep I never would have been disqualified cuz everyone knows all the preps running were alcoholics! That caused a big controversy, but I got alot of praise for it from teachers and parents and students. I did however win "most creative senior" and "craziest senior" at the graduation but because you could only win one award..I got the craziest senior award cuz hands down I was the majority vote :)

After I graduated I still lived at home....till one day I went to a Limp Bizkit concert. While I was away my dumbass drug dealer called my house...my parents phone line cuz he forgot my bedrooms phone number and proceeded to ask my sister if she knew if I wanted any acid!!!! Well my sis the big mouth just couldnt wait to tell my parents about the funny phone call she got...and by the time I got home they had written down all my friends names and phone numbers...along with a detectives name and number. A big argument insued...over me doing drugs again. Well anyway the next day I was going through my parents room looking for some money I came across that paper. I was like "fuck this they arent gonna turn my friends in" and being the smart boy I am concluded that if I left home my friends would be safe. So I packed up everything I could fit in my car and left while they were both at work. (I forgot to mention that in my senior year my dad moved back home) This happend in June and I didnt say a word to my parents till at least November of that year. For 2 months I lived between my ex girlfriends house and another friends house till FINALLY I had a place of my own. It was a 1 bedroom duplex. Let me tell you it was PARTY CENTRAL!! 24 hours a day there were ppl there. In one of my neighbors numerous complaints to the landlord they had counted 75 different people coming in and out of my house in one afternoon! Needless to say after a year of complaints I got evicted. One story that really sticks out in my head about that place happened when I was 19. This girl I had never met before was shocked to find out that I was still a virgin...and she made it her goal to change it. So after alot of alcohol I happily agreed to hop in bed with her. Well after FINALLY getting it up we got busy. Half way through she pushed me away and was like "I cant do this to your sister" I was like what are you talking about? k I AM NOT making this up!!! She says "I had sex with your sister last week...and I like her so I cant do this with her brother" Right then and ther eI was scarred for life!! My drunk ass running around the apartment at 3 in the am in my boxers with about 20 people carrying on like I was being normal screaming "OMFG NO FUCKING WAY OMFG" over and over. A week later the girl apologized and we tried again, but my dicky no worky...(girls look a lil different when your not pumped full of drinks) Anyway after I was evicted I was lucky enough to find a 2 bedroom house with a basement, garage, and an attic for CHEAP!!

mk im like skipping alot of stuff here :| your welcome :)

I felt real grown up living in a real house and not an apartment...the parties continued but not as many and not as much people. About 6 months after moving here I got myself a computer!! Which is where I met my current boyfriend Marc :) I met him in a chatroom LOL! In January 2001 he took a bus all the way from Boston to see me :):) We had a WONDERFUL week ;) Then sadly he had to go back. In March we decided we couldnt be apart any longer and he packed up all his stuff and moved here :) The next month...the landlords had great news for us..."YOUR EVICTED" They said it was cuz they wanted to sell the house...me think that the words "Rich likes little boys ages 2-3" spray painted on the side of the house by a "nice person" had something to do with it. :| So anyway me n marc decided to move to Duluth...which is a major city up north in Minnesota...so we packed up all our shit drove 20 miles and found a nice newly remodled 2 bedroom duplex where we currently live happily ever after!

Um some vitals on me: I have my eyebrow, lip, nipple, and my belly button pierced. I used to have 2 more eyebrow rings but they closed up and I used to have my tongue pierced but I SWALLOED it! And dont ask if I found it cuz trust me I DIDNT LOOK! :| I have an alien tattoo on my chest...i am OBSESSED with aliens...i like punk, metal, rap, and techno music....am a BIG WWE fan...and am still a nursing assistant. I have done every drug known to man basically except for heroin. But nowadays I stick with weed and alcohol cuz ya im a loser.

OK so um be honest!! Who actually read all the way down to this sentence?!? C'mon tell me dont be shy!

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