falling fast and falling free's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
falling fast and falling free

[ website | i'm a dork, i know. ]
[ userinfo | blurty userinfo ]
[ calendar | blurty calendar ]

[23 Dec 2003|04:36pm]
[ mood | grumpy ]
[ music | giles, giles and fripp - one in a million ]

i decided to change my layout AGAIN.
that is all.
xox.

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layout. [28 Sep 2003|01:03pm]
[ mood | lethargic ]
[ music | led zeppelin - d'yer mak'er ]

on friday i was home sick, and very bored...so i decided to mess around with my lj layout and color scheme stuff. so i came up with one, but some people said it was too bright or "firey" or something, so i changed it. but i wanted to keep it, so i applied it on this one. lalala. that's all.
xox,
-me.

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sigh. [17 Sep 2003|06:01pm]
[ mood | stressed ]
[ music | none. ]

hmm. i suppose now would be a good time to update, because i haven't done so in two weeks or so. i had an awful day today. things were just very, very bad. i'd like very much to talk to adam right now, but he probably isn't home, and it's not likely that he'll be calling me any time soon.
i've been under a lot of pressure lately, and things have just been so stressful. for the first time in years i'm actually doing my school work, and it's very hard for me. i feel like something bad is coming. something is after me, and i don't know how i can hide from it. i don't know what it is yet, but i know it won't be good at all.
tomorrow is thursday, what used to be my favorite day. i was supposed to go to annalise's house to watch the family guy but i'm not so sure that's happening. i have an appointment with dr. fenton, which i really don't want to go to.
friday is quickly approaching, and when it's here i think the bad thing will hit. how do you prevent something you think is coming when you don't know what it is? aduno. maybe i'll figure it out in the next two days. zach isn't home yet, and i'm really hoping that he will be. and soon. i really need him, or someone, to talk to. i feel kind of bad, because i wasted an hour and a half of my therapist's time today when she came. i ran into my room in tears, and stayed there until the end. i think i fell asleep for about a half hour, or maybe a bit more. i don't know because i don't have a clock in my room. eventually my mom came in and asked me to come out to set up our next appointment. next wednesday at 3:30. just like every week. i don't see why we don't just fill it in for the next month or so. it's always the same.
i really don't want to think about what is not happening this friday, but i can't. it's terrible.
i think i'm going to go cry some more. i probably won't update for a while. i don't know why i'm doing so now. i guess i'm just bored. yeah. so. bye.
xox,
-me.

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great. [31 Aug 2003|08:29pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]
[ music | none. ]

what do they really think of you by purple
lj name
sex
age
your best friend thinksyou need a good slapping
your family thinkyou're a slut
strangers thinkyou're not quite sane
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

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please excuse my cross-posting. [22 Aug 2003|12:31am]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | none. mrr. ]

beware: this is a total rant entry. lots of bitching. )

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cute... [19 Aug 2003|09:08am]
[ mood | hungry ]
[ music | less than jake!? (my brother is listening to them.) ]

F A M E by spazyspag
Name:
Youre famous for:ODing.. twice
You get famous:January 8, 2057
You make $$ per/year:$326,658,383,411,578
Do people like you?Everyone loves you
Dead/Alive:No one knows
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

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i haven't updated in a while. mrrr. [18 Aug 2003|03:23pm]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | cake - pretty pink ribbon ]

so, it's been a while since i've really written anything. i blame blurty. every time i write a long, thoughtful entry, blurty decides that it won't post it, and deletes it instead. bah.
i'm sick. not just like "oh i don't feel good" sick. i'm sick. and it sucks. my mom just made brownies, too. and that's torture. i've been trying really hard not to eat sugary unhealthy things. BUT I REALLY WANT TO. last night i splurged and had french fries and a milkshake. bad naomi. bad.
today i've just been laying around trying not to die. what a party. i have a babysitting job for tomorrow, in the morning, so that's annoying/exciting. annoying because it's in the morning, and i'm sick...and exciting because robert is awesome, and i like money.
i decided earlier that since i can't really move, i should do something useful that's easy to do in bed. so i've been sorting photographs. ah, memories.
i really miss the sun. i complain and say that i don't like the summer because it's too sunny and hot which is gross, but right now there is no sun and it's still hot and GROSS. i don't get it. where's the fucking sun? this weather is so depressing.
joe left today. right now i'm blanking out on where it is he's going to. but, he'll be back in a week.
my brother is home from hawaii. he's really tan, his hair is long and beachy, and he's a certified scuba diver. cool, huh? YES.
tonight we have to go to dinner at his friend's house. i really don't know why i'm invited. i mean really. i'll probably just sit there and stare at the wall. for hours. because my mom and don will talk to leslie forever, like they always do. and jon and nick will play and run around forever, like they always do. and i'll...sit...and be sick and bored....and stuff...
sigh.
i have so much to do. and i don't want to do it. damnit, i was supposed to take my medicine 2 hours ago. bad. bad bad bad.
oh. last night i went to see uptown girls with caroline and haigan. it was super cute. i liked it. i feel really bad about the obnoxious girl next to haigan. i didn't even know about that until she wrote about it in her latest entry. i'm sorry, achigas!!!
mrr. well, i should go take my medicine and finish the photo-ness and everything. more later, maybe. probably not though. it seems that every time i say that i don't update for a while. okay i'm done.
xox,
-me.

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from haigan. [16 Aug 2003|10:45pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | none. ]

FUCK YOU, BLURTY.
it just deleted my fucking entry. gah.

If I were a month I would be: october.
If I were a day of the week I would be: thursday.
If I were a time of day I would be: anytime between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m.
If I were a planet I would be: pluto. though, mars is my ruling planet.
If I were a direction I would be: west.
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: a bed.
If I were a liquid I would be: water.
If I were a tree, I would be: either a weeping willow or a banyan.
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: a daisy.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: rain.
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a drum. any kind.
If I were an emotion, I would be: calm.
If I were a vegetable, I would be: zucchini.
If I were a sound, I would be: rain falling or waves crashing onshore.
If I were a car, I would be: an old, beat up vw van.
If I were a song, I would be: "kate" by ben folds five.
If I were a book, I would be written by: jane hamilton.
If I were a food, I would be: salad.
If I were a place, I would be: the beach or the forest.
If I were a material, I would be: something soft.
If I were a taste, I would be: plain. like water.
If I were a scent, I would be: ocean-y or peachy.
If I were a body part, I would be: eyes or hands.
If I were a subject in school, I would be: english or creative writing.
If I were a cartoon character, I would be: ariel from the little mermaid (hell yes haigy)
If I were a shape, I would be: a circle.
If I were a number, I would be: 8.

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hmm. ew. [10 Aug 2003|10:54am]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | elliott smith. ]

Who Will You Marry? by Sari
Name
DateJuly 18, 2037
SpouseTom Cruise
Price of Wedding$784,824
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

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sigh. summer nights. but not like in grease [06 Aug 2003|01:47am]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | iron and wine-from max, of course. i love the music from him ]

went out with max tonight. ice cream and blockbuster. good times with that. saw all the boys, too. along with lots of other people. haigan and a bunch of guys from our grade were at white mountain. it was weird. cassy and abby and all those girls were there. it was nice seeing themmmm. umm. drove around with max while we blared music, talked, ate ice cream, and stuck our hands out the windows. we went to "our road" and i stood up and out of the sunroof while he drove. i miss our summer nights. with elliott smith or duncan sheik or nick drake playing. damn. i'm going to miss him so much.
okay i have more to say but i'm so fucking tired.
so yeah. more tomorrow or something.
xox,
-me.

p.s- 5 days until adam. *dies* i'm really fucking nervous. i feel british right now. or something. yeah. okaaaay, bye.

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birth control is fun. [02 Aug 2003|04:44pm]
[ mood | giggly ]
[ music | wzlx. i love carter alan. ]

onebaaadassmotha: i control my children.
slaminj18: haha
slaminj18: thats good
onebaaadassmotha: through pills.
onebaaadassmotha: hahaha yes.
slaminj18: and ovary whips

hahaha, i love you, achigas. you are just too cool. mwah.

so, today zach called, at about noon, and woke me up. we talked for about 40 minutes, at which point he had to go get his laundry. on monday i'll be looking for a letter from him in the mail. 5 pages. that boy. i can't wait. and, he comes home in like. a week. so, that's exciting.
i've been working on my history work today. finished my political cartoon, and i'm about to write a caption and an essay explaining it. then all i have to do is study for the tests, and take them. but that's just history.
i still have an essay to write for english. it's going to be complete bullshit. total crap. i can just feel it. she wants it to be 3-4 pages long. i'll make it just over 3. and i'll ramble, because i'm good at that. so, after that, i'm done. i definitely think i'll be done a week from today. i'm very, very excited. this means i get to go see adam. and i may be able to see zach and vicki and kelsey and tyty, too. but, i may not. sigh.
we'll see.
oh, i also just called my calling card number, and it's been reimbursed, so i now have 3,335 minutes. how exciting. meep. that means...long distance phone calls, here i come!
so. i don't have much else to say. i'm going to go finish up the stuff for my political cartoon. if i get that done tonight, then i start the essay tomorrow and finish it monday, i can take the 2 tests thursday and the exam friday and BAM. I'M DONE. that's amazing. i hope it happens. yes, so, i'm off now.
oh, one last thing...
i. miss. adam.
damnit. i'm such a whiney little girl. sorry.
xox,
-me.

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oops. [30 Jul 2003|12:52pm]
[ mood | okay ]
[ music | none. i miss jonah. ]

so. people should never, ever tell me things earlier than noon. i ALWAYS forget. but luckily, if i think really really hard, sometimes, i can remember PART of what they said, and then i just assume what was said from the part i remember.
my mom woke me up at like 11:00. and i believe she told me that she was going to toomey's to work, and that i should do homework. something about printing something out. read? shit, aduno. and she also wanted me to...clean the kitchen. i think. or maybe it was take my medicine. DAMN, i do not know. that sucks. oh well. i'll just go do all of that and hope i did everything she wanted me too. huh. i wonder when she'll be home though. damn.
okay.
i'm outie. HAHA. oh. yeah.
xox,
-me.

p.s- i miss adam i miss adam i miss adam i miss adam. mrrrr.

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AAAAHHHHHHHHH. [29 Jul 2003|08:34pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | wzlx. yummmm. ]

so. i may be seeing adam in 12 days. *dies* i miss him. so. fucking. much. i really hope i get everything done so that i can go.
mrrrr.
sex.
hmm.
yeah so. i have a lot of stuff to do. i should go do...stuff. but i'm not going to! because...i'm lazy. grr. okay. i'm going to at least try.
xox,
-me.

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[26 Jul 2003|07:41pm]
[ mood | pessimistic ]
[ music | the beatles - a day in the life ]

i'm now in a very bad mood.

bah. only read this if you won't be annoyed by my bitching and moaning. )

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[26 Jul 2003|05:28pm]
i don't feel very well. at all. yuck yuck yuck.
my body hates me.
but i hate it moooore.
buaha.
xox,
-me.
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[25 Jul 2003|09:22pm]
um. i am really really really mad.
i neeeeed him.
*dies*
xox,
me.
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thank god the internet is back. DAMN, I'M LAME. [25 Jul 2003|11:33am]
[ mood | pleased ]
[ music | angry salad - the milkshake song ]

dude.
last night...or early this morning (12:26 a.m.) comcast ruined my life.
- oh, how i love being dramatic -
it didn't ruin my life but it made me really angry. my internet, telephone, and television all stopped working. bastards, all of them. grrr.
so now it is morning. almost 12 hours later. and damn, i don't want to get up and do things.
*sigh*
it's really nice out, so that's a big plus. maybe i'll get to take the kids out to a park or something exciting like that. i love them. mehhh. i hate laziness. and i have a lot of it.
apparently a lot of people know about this. *waves* hello, little people. or big people. hmm. hello people people.
that is all for now. i need to stop. i think i just emailed everyone on my contact list. and i updated all of my diaries. it's very, very sad that 12 hours without internet access did that to me. damn technology. damn it all.
k yeah. bye bye.
xox,
-me.

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aw. [24 Jul 2003|10:42pm]
[ mood | loved ]
[ music | zach making noises. ]

Tyrrany001: goodnight snookums
Tyrrany001: i love you
Tyrrany001: *honi*

(my boyfriend is the biggest nerd of all time. i love him so damn much, though.)

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[24 Jul 2003|10:06pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | zach's voice. ]

good things:
+ i was finally able to talk to adam. for a while, too.
+ tomorrow i'm babysitting the gagosians, which means i will soon have money.
+ i'm starting to make progress in my room.
+ i also talked to max today, and made plans with him. i haven't seen him since...oh my god. since like. may. or early june.
+ my mouse has been acting much happier lately. it's cute.
+ it's almost the weekend. i don't know why that's good because it's summer and every day seems the same...but, weekends still excite me sometimes.

bad things:
- talking to adam kinda makes me miss him more. and i'm still not sure when i'll get to see him.
- my uncle is sick. i think we're going to go to california to see him. i hope we make it there before he dies. it would break my mother's heart to not be able to say goodbye.
- have i mentioned that I REALLY MISS ADAM?
- lizzie hasn't even bothered to call me or anything in days.
- my right foot is asleep.

that is all for now.
xox,
me.

p.s - ZACH JUST CALLED ME. I MISS HIM TOOOOOO MUCH.

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[24 Jul 2003|04:50pm]
[ mood | emo. ]

greg, i know you don't read this, or even know that it exists but...
you are the keeper of my heart.

and i am the drinker of your tears.
my heart aches for you. each moment i feel as though the next i will die, if i do not see you.

umm yeah.

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