| heh, something i wrote |
[12 Feb 2004|12:29pm] |
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yeah i wrote this a long time ago. sorry if it sucks. tell me what you think
cold nights and icy stars
shopping carts in deserted parking lots
headaches and sleepy eyes
breathing out freezing smoke
making promises on cement
forget the words in backs of journals
and we'll paint over this scene
with matches and kerosene
breathe in dust and fearful eyes
suffocate in my arms
i dare you to lie to me
so i can see your face when you meet my cold wet eyes.
with hate on your tongue
and love in your eyes,
you whisper your words
laced with apologies and lies.
overeact, cut with your voice
leave your bloody initals,
the two i would carve in a heart,
on the inside of my hands.
empty rooms and empty chests
bitter with memories
proving ourselves, manifesting our love
it's different now, and you know it,
and i dont care if it breaks your heart.
at least i'm not a liar.
so take these fucking images
replay them if you want
i hope they burn your eyes.
while friends hold my place,
i drop everything,
turn aroudn on tired heels,
meeting you, hungry and misplaced.
and these arms...
white and pink scars.
touch me.
notice me.
accept my apologizing for something you caused.
i'm trying
i just wanted to be perfect
so take a step back,
and i'll pick up this knife,
and i'll show you how much i fucking mean it when i say i love you.
but at least i'm not a liar.
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[29 Jan 2004|08:59pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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Death Cab for Cutie |
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sometimes i wish i was this happy little girl.
im so sad. i wish i could tell you why.
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[29 Jan 2004|08:59pm] |
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mood |
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sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Death Cab for Cutie |
] |
sometimes i wish i was this happy little girl.
im so sad. i wish i could tell you why.
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[29 Jan 2004|08:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Death Cab for Cutie |
] |
sometimes i wish i was this happy little girl.
im so sad. i wish i could tell you why.
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[29 Jan 2004|08:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Death Cab for Cutie |
] |
sometimes i wish i was this happy little girl.
im so sad. i wish i could tell you why.
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[29 Jan 2004|08:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Death Cab for Cutie |
] |
sometimes i wish i was this happy little girl.
im so sad. i wish i could tell you why.
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[29 Jan 2004|08:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Death Cab for Cutie |
] |
sometimes i wish i was this happy little girl.
im so sad. i wish i could tell you why.
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[29 Jan 2004|08:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Death Cab for Cutie |
] |
sometimes i wish i was this happy little girl.
im so sad. i wish i could tell you why.
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| Your Own Disaster |
[19 Jan 2004|01:31am] |
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hi
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| Your Own Disaster |
[19 Jan 2004|01:29am] |
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hi
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| Taking Back Sunday--Your Own Disaster |
[19 Jan 2004|01:24am] |
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save me from the nothing i've become
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| Brand New--Soco Amaretto Lime |
[10 Jan 2004|01:44pm] |
Passed out on the overpass
Sunday best and broken glass
Broken down from the bikes and bars
Suspended like spirits over speeding cars
You and me were kings over the parkway tonight
And tonight will go on forever while we
walk around this town like we own the streets
and stay awake through summer like we own the heat
Singing "everybody wake up,wake up, it's time to get down"
And when I pass the bottle back to Pete
on the overpass tonight, I bet we laugh
I'm gonna stay eighteen forever
So we can stay like this forever
And we'll never miss a party
cause we keep them going constantly
And we'll never have to listen
to anyone about anything
cause it's all been done and it's all been said
we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get
The hell out of this town
Find some conversation
The low fule lights been on for days
It doesn't mean anyhting
I've got another 500 nother 500 miles
before we shut this engine down,
we shut it down
I'm gonna stay eighteen forever
So we can stay like this forever
And we'll never miss a party
cause we keep them going constantly
And we'll never have to listen
to anyone about anything
cause it's all been done and it's all been said
we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get
you're just jealous cause I'm young and in love
your stomachs filled up but you're starved for conversation
you're spending all your nights growing old in your bed
and your tearin up your photos cause you wanna forget... it's over
you're just jealous cause I'm young and in love
your stomachs filled up but you're starved for conversation
you're spending all your nights growing old in your bed
and your tearin up your photos cause you wanna forget... it's over
we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get
Just jealous cause we're young and in love
You're just jealous cause we're young and in love
You're just jealous cause we're young and in love
You're just jealous cause we're young and in love
You're just jealous cause we're young and in love
You're just jealous cause we're young and in love
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[13 Dec 2003|04:52pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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Thursday-On the Edge of Summer |
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god i hate this feeling. i hate this feeling so fucking much, and i dont even know what the feeling is.
is it lonely? is that it? maybe i'm lonely.
maybe im forgotten and disappointed. im forgotten. and maybe im over dramatic. but i feel so fucking awful right now and i can't figure out why and it's driving me crazy. maybe it's just a feeling. i haven't cried in so long, but i bleed every day.
this is becoming a problem.
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[11 Dec 2003|08:16pm] |
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ok i've moved. my new name is youngAND_INlove. you best know it. on blurty. of course.
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[11 Dec 2003|08:16pm] |
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ok i've moved. my new name is youngAND_INlove. you best know it. on blurty. of course.
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[26 Oct 2003|07:10pm] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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Thursday--A Hole in the World |
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Oh my gosh.
Your Anna has fallen in love.
I went to Hayward today and called Jessica, but she wasn't home. I was all going to "stop by". Much to my misfortune, she was at kk's house, or someone's house that began with the general "k" sound. It was quite disappointing.
I miss Ernest. god damn this is so fucking pathetic.
and the only band i've been listening to for like, the past fucking month is thursday. well, not really. but mostly. but nothing!
Friday, i went to the movies with Ernest and his friend David from midi, and all of david's friends from lynbrook (ew). Saturday...i hung around at home, and ernest came over later. sunday, which is today, we went to hayward and all.
and i haven't done any of my homework. whatever that may be.
i need a life. halloween this friday. yay..
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[24 Oct 2003|08:07am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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Thursday--Paris in Flames |
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Well well well. Yeah, I'm in Lit, so this may have to be short. FIRST PERIOD. AH you're killing me.
So anything I ever felt about Victor is gone and I'm not "confused" about "my relationship". Because I think I'm in love. ahhh. Hhahahahahahakjshdkahsa. Yeah, Victor keeps hitting on me and everything, too. But I'm not going for it, no I'm not. Because I love Ernest. ahklha. THAT'S RIGHT.
Anyway, what else? Besides Ernest, nothing else is going on. Last weekend I went to see the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and even though it was scary, Casey was there and she ruined it. Meaning it was hilarious. We were just imagining, at the end, that Leatherface would suddenly say, "But miss, YOU FORGOT YOUR PURSE!!!" and if you saw the movie, it's kind of a funny concept.
I sorta feel like Ernest is upset with me, and I dont think he trusts me. Not that he has any reason to trust me. But still. And like, he gets jealous at the littlest things. I think he thinks I'm going to break his heart, he just can't admit it. Although I probably will, by accident.
I'm so bad at this.
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[13 Oct 2003|12:12pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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I had a dream about Ernest and Victor last night.
I dreamt I had sex with Ernest. And I dreamt I made out with Victor.
Ernest is coming over shortly. And we're going to have sex and stuff. And I feel fine right now, like, I'm happy I'm with Ernest and no one else.
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[12 Oct 2003|10:16pm] |
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mood |
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crappy |
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oh. man.
ok. i went to the movies with vase, andrew, reni, and victor. i fucked up. oh man. i fucked up.
i cheated on ernest. and we haven't even been going out a week yet. what did i tell you?
i cheated on ernest with victor. ajkhfaklhsfal.
i fucked up.
and here is ernest, sitting here telling me how much he missed me while i was gone. while i was sitting on victor's lap with his tongue in my mouth and my hand on his crotch. and not thinking one bit about ernest.
and im not going to tell him.
i haven't felt this bad since i gave chris head in the bathroom.
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[12 Oct 2003|02:01pm] |
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mood |
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mellow |
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music |
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Bright Eyes--Padriac, my Prince |
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I'm no longer grounded! hjahsfk.
I'm going to the movies with Andrew, Reni, Casey, Vase, and maybe Sean. Fuck Sean.
But anyway, I'm really really starting to miss Jessica and Stephanie.
CAN YOU GUYS COME OVER TOGETHER ONE WEEKEND? That would be hAwt.
Ernest came over yesterday and it was soo oo fun. I don't know why. We're supposed to have sex Monday. Which is tomorrow. ha.. haha.
Victor hella upsets me. Like, he's really nice to me when we're alone, but in front of other people he's such an asshole. It's frusterating.
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