Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in Earl Grey's Blurty:

Tuesday, October 6th, 2009
8:17 am	profile overhaul Due to my new situation, living with one of the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, having the best sex of my life, and occasionally discussing the possibility that she is turned on by the idea of watching me with some other woman, my Plenty of Fish profile is seriously out of date. It's time for an overhaul, which I'm about to do. But I liked the way it was, for the situation I was in at the time. So I'm archiving it here. This is the old profile, somewhat censored: [user name] [brief summary] City: [Seattle Eastside suburb] Height: [tall] Age: [forty-something] I am Seeking a: Woman Who is Looking for: Talk/E-Mail Marital Status: Separated Smoker? No Do you drink? Socially Do you do drugs? No Smarts: [well-educated] Profession: writer About Me Update (mid-June 2009): I'm now separated from my wife, for reasons that have nothing to do with the arrangement described below. Since separating, I've started a new relationship with a woman I met on a different dating site. The new relationship is exclusive, so I'm off the market, and this profile is only here so that people who know me on this site can contact me if they wish. Looks: A [long, censored, because I'm still using this part] description: I'm [tall], about [slender] pounds, with [censored] eyes, [censored] hair, and glasses. I look [much more censored]. Personality: [censored], it's obvious that I'm interested in sex. I write [much more censored]. I am a big movie fan, [censored]. I'm also politically active, [censored]. Headline: What does "seasonally seeking sex" mean? It doesn't mean exactly what it says; I'm always seeking sex. But most of the time, I'm only seeking it in one place, and this site is not that place. But for a few weeks at a time, usually in winter and summer, I'm available. The reason is that I'm married, and we're exclusive any time we're together. We're together most of the time, and I'm off the market except for her. But when she's traveling and I'm home, or I'm traveling and she's home, we're open for play time. When we're together again, we're exclusive again. We'll share our tales of lust (if any), maybe re-enact them together, but names are off limits. The no-names policy is our jealousy-prevention plan. [censored] Condoms are obvious, [censored]. May people consider any sex outside a marriage to be cheating. But that's not our agreement. For us it's only cheating if we were to fool around at a time when we're supposed to be exclusive. Update (mid-January): As anticipated in "limited time offer" below, I'm back to exclusive status. In view of that, I've switched my "I am looking for" line from "Intimate Encounter" to "Talk/E-mail". I also switched my headline from "seasonally seeking sex" to "seeking something", because I haven't yet thought of a better alliteration for a replacement headline during the "off-season". As indicated with the "Talk/E-mail" setting, I welcome any sort of pleasant communications. And I'll still appreciate any invitations to intimate encounters. For one thing, I'd be flattered. For another, my answer might be "yes, with conditions." What conditions? The first one is that my wife and I continue our open-while-apart arrangement. That's likely, but not a sure thing. The second is that anyone who wants to play with me doesn't mind waiting until the next time we're open, which isn't likely before summer. When I know when we'll be open again, I'll switch the "looking for" back. Limited time offer: I will probably be back to exclusive status after the first week of 2009. I'll try to reply to contacts after that, but any in-person contact will have to be non-intimate in nature. If we adjust our agreement, I'll adjust this profile accordingly. Wish list: So, what friend would I like when I'm open? [long list censored] Friends: What about the friends side of the friends-with-benefits arrangement? That's harder to describe, particularly after writing all of the above. We could have meals together, go to movies and discuss their deeper meaning or plot holes afterward, talk politics, discuss all the foolish things we've done in the past in pursuit of sex, and anything else friends do together. First Date [four paragraphs, censored because I'm still using them]. (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 5th, 2009
11:03 am	Adult Friend Finder In an effort to indulge my girlfriend's fantasy, I've signed up as a paid user on Adult Friend Finder. I'm not sure how well that will work out, but one woman has written back politely in reply to my expression of interest. I don't know whether she's interested or just polite, but that seems like a good start, since I've written only a half-dozen messages there so far. Additionally, I created a user name on the free site Mingle2.com – I don't know whether that will be worth anything, but I wrote to almost everyone who showed up as interested in "intimate encounters", so I guess I'll see how it works out. (Comment on this)
Friday, August 7th, 2009
11:57 pm	much to my surprise I thought my previous entry would be my last. But there is more to tell. In the case of my wife, the update is fairly simple. We filed for legal separation on Monday, not quite a week ago. In Washington state, that's equivalent to divorce, with just a few exceptions: it doesn't apply to federal law in any way, and it doesn't free either party to marry again. It's a slow process, but that's OK; neither of us is in a hurry to marry again. The surprise with my new girlfriend – a model in addition to being a singer and an actress – is that she is interested in trying out a threesome, inviting another woman to play with us. She wants to watch me having sex with the so-far hypothetical other woman; she might just watch, or she might join in on the fun, depending on how she reacts to the situation. Her preference would be for a beautiful Asian woman, but she might be flexible on that. Black women are off limits; she doesn't want to see me with any black woman other than her. So, toward the goal of satisfying my girlfriend's threesome fantasy, I'm sort-of back on the market. I'd be absolutely satisfied with no other woman than her, but I certainly don't mind indulging her fantasy. I wonder if we'll find someone suitable, and how it will go if we do. (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 10th, 2009
2:03 am	final chapter In the month since my first date with the "adorable actress", we've grown more and more attracted to each other, spending more and more time communicating with each other. In spite of having met in person just once, we each felt like we had to be the other. Unfortunately, that's well beyond the ground rules of our partially-open relationship. The plan had just been to allow us some stress relief when we were apart. Neither of us had expected to fall hard for someone else. On Tuesday, my wife concluded that my attraction to the singer-actress was something deeper than a friend with intermittent "benefits". She was furious. Meanwhile, the singer-actress – already suffering from the personal crisis of finding herself falling for a married man – had another personal crisis crash down around her. She was home in California, and I couldn't help her from where I live. I bought a same-day flight, both to flee my wife's anger and to be with the singer-actress. The singer-actress met me at the airport, and we went on our second date, at a very posh restaurant. Anyone who might have been paying attention to us would have had no trouble seeing that we were in bliss together. Leaving the restaurant, she asked whether I had condoms. I did not; I had packed for the flight too hastily to remember that important detail. She asked me to buy them; I had no problem with that, although I was a bit offended by the sales clerk's facial expression when he said, "Have a nice night." I had little idea of what sort of sex to expect with her; we both knew we wanted each other very much, but we hadn't discussed details. I had a certain degree of worry that because she's exceptionally beautiful, she might be less impressive in bed, because her beauty alone could attract all the sexual attention she could ever want. But all worries about the sex faded once we got started. I thought she was spectacular – much more exciting than with any previous partner. It wasn't just the thrill of her beauty – that was just a bonus. She was enthusiastic, creative, and energetic. And she thought I was wonderful too. I stayed until Friday morning, when I had to return for obligations here. The time between meeting her at the airport and saying goodbye was wonderful. We had great times together while out and about. We had lots of wonderful sex. We discussed a future together. Meanwhile, my wife was preparing to leave. Although our marriage had problems that dated back many years, the sudden collapse took her completely by surprise, and she was in a lot of pain. It took me by surprise too, and I felt terrible for her; the pleasure of the new relationship could not push aside concern for my companion of many years. To write more about either woman would intrude on her privacy. And since this is about dating in search of friends-with-benefits or hook-up partners, I have nothing more to write about. My new girlfriend is so fantastic that I can't imagine looking for someone else, so I am off the market; the search is over. I hadn't expected it to turn out this way, but that's how it is. (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 19th, 2009
9:18 am	rebound date A few days after the fantastic date with the "adorable actress" (who I might better have described as "adorable jazz singer", because I think she has more potential as a singer), I had a misunderstanding with her – a tiny slip-up while talking on the phone, aggravated by an apology that was sincere, but which sounded all wrong to her. I was worried that it was all over with her. Fortunately, I've smoothed over that, and even managed to recover from a more serious matter that came up later. Anyway, the point is, on April 11 I thought things were all over with the singer-actress. So, what does on do when a seemingly promising date is followed up by things going awry? One possible answer is the rebound date. I hadn't exactly intended for it to be a rebound date, but that's how it turned out. First, more background. As with the singer-actress, I met the rebound date woman, "Z", on "Sugar Daddie". This is her profile, as of recently: Member Name:   [Censored] This person has placed you on their HOTLIST! Introduction:   I'll amuse you! If YOU amuse me! LOL! [flirtatious portrait, face and shoulders] [serious-faced portrait, waist up wearing strapless dress] [smiling portrait, waist up wearing strapless dress] Sex: SugarBabe (female) Relationship: Strictly Sugar Daddie/Babe relationship Location: Washington Occupation: Other Age: [40ish] Ethnicity: White/Caucasian Body Type: Average Height: [short] Education: Some College Hair Color: Black Eye Color: Green Drink: Light to heavy drinker Smoke: I do not smoke Drugs: I do not do drugs Describing Myself: Hello EVERYONE! I am looking to meet interesting people with interesting, interests that are interested in some interesting converstion with me. If your interested in mine let's talk! Shall We? As for some basic info on myself. I am single. Not currently dating anyone. AT ALL. LoL! Did the long term relationship thingy. And really just want to see what else is out in that great big, wide world. With someone who is genuine and sincere. I promise! Not to embellish if you Won't. Deal. And I am just tired of others mens idea of a date consisting of take out and a video. Never been treated like a princess. YET. I am not much into being materialistic. Would rather have a Jeep over a JAG. I will leave those for boys that love their Toys! LOL! Love /[her first name]. She last logged in Wed Apr 08, 2009   So, what happened on the date? She had sent me her phone number after just a few e-mail contacts, so I started things rolling by phoning her. Soon we had a plan, complicated by the fact that she can't drive at the moment. I showed up at the agreed-upon Starbucks a bit ahead of the agreed time. I ordered tea and waited. After while, I was still there alone and waiting for her to show up. Finally, the clerk said the dreaded words, that I had to leave because they were closing. I moved to the car to wait in the cold. Eventually she phoned and said she wouldn't be able to get there any time soon, because her car wasn't working. After some discussion, she said I could pick her up near her house, and gave me directions. I followed the directions, getting slightly lost along the way, and found her when soon enough. We discussed what to do, and I suggested, "dinner, then sex." She laughed, because I was joking and she knew it; during e-mail discussions she had expressed scorn for guys who think that buying a woman dinner would impress her enough that she'd want to have sex with them. After a bit of driving around along a street that was home to many restaurants, looking for a place that was decent and still open for dinner, we chose a Mexican restaurant. We had drinks first – I forget what – then ordered food. We talked for a long time, enjoying the conversation, even though my mind was mostly on the topic of the "adorable actress" rather than on her. She found the story of my suddenly smitten state interesting. She found the complications in the relationship interesting. She seemed to find me interested, but I'm not available – between being married and having my mind on the actress, there was little room for her except as an observer. We stuck around at the restaurant until it was ready to close down for the night. We were the last ones out, or close to it, but the restaurant people were never pushy. After leaving, she guided me back to her house. We talked along the way, finally breaking the conversation away from the actress. I told her about some other dates. She told me about some of hers. I jokingly asked about the after-dinner sex, and she laughingly declined. She mentioned a guy who had given her an allowance for some months, large enough that my reaction was, "holy shit!" I asked whether a guy of exceptional hotness might gain her attention for a smaller allowance, and she had two comments. She'd never accept an allowance from someone she didn't already find attractive and pleasant company; that's the distinction between a sugar daddy and a john. Additionally, if a man were a serious relationship candidate, she might not expect any sort of allowance, as long as she felt that the relationship was in track to becoming more serious. She felt sufficiently comfortable with me that she guided me all the way to her home. I leaned over for a kiss, and I got a couple of polite, mild kisses. She invited me to contact her again after working through my strong feelings about the actress, if I wished. Otherwise she didn't think I had much room in my thoughts for her, which was quite right. It was a pleasant date, and wonderful as a rebound date. And remarkably, she seemed pleased by the evening too, even though she wasn't the center of attention like one would expect to be on a date. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 8th, 2009
12:53 am	adorable actress I don't recall why I signed up for Sugar Daddie, but some time last summer I put a free profile there. My impression has been that the only difference between pay dating sites and the free ones is that they cost money and have fewer users, and thus less selection. And the name "Sugar Daddie" implies relationships with a rather tacky level of implied quid-pro-quo. I was also slightly irritated that it was "Sugar Daddie", rather than the grammatically correct singular "Sugar Daddy". However, when I browsed the site, I noticed that it was superior to others in one obvious way – the women there ranged from adequately attractive to outstandingly beautiful. An ordinary "who is on now" search showed one pretty face after another; most of them looked better than the women in the ads for other dating sites. Eventually, I added a picture to my profile there, and before long I had quite a few first-contact messages from women, mostly beautiful women. On other dating sites, it's very rare that I've received first-contact messages, and particularly rare that I've received first-contact messages from beautiful women. When I looked at the subject lines of the messages, they looked like they had been written by real women. By contrast, a lot of pay sites generate fake messages supposedly from women, but pretty clearly fake from the repetitiveness of the subject lines. Finally, I took the plunge, and bought a seven-day trial paid membership. I replied a bunch of the first-contact messages that had accumulated, and wrote a bunch of first-contact messages of my own. (I don't recall any replies to any of my first-contact messages, although it's possible that there were one or two.) I exchanged regular e-mail addresses with a number of the women who contacted me. Later, after more first-contact messages from women had accumulated in my inbox, I bought more time there. During my paid time there, I received about 50 first-contact messages and about 25 regular e-mail addresses; I'm still in touch with about a dozen of them. The most enthusiastic woman was a beautiful actress from California; she was visiting my very own suburb for a few days. Her profile looked like this (but she is ignoring it now): Member Name:   [Censored] This person has placed you on their HOTLIST! Introduction:   I'm ready 2009! [hot portrait, black dress] [hot portrait, black top and pink sweats] Just me! Sex: SugarBabe (female) Relationship: Not limited to a Sugar Daddie/Babe relationship Location: California Occupation: Self Employed Age: [mid 30s] Ethnicity: Other Body Type: Slim Height: [average] Education: Graduate Degree Hair Color: Brown Eye Color: Brown Drink: Light to heavy drinker Smoke: I do not smoke Drugs: I do not do drugs Describing Myself: I'm exciting. Always laughing and high on life! I appreciate nice things but somehow cherish the small ones. I'm strong willed and very ambitious! Did I mention I love to laugh! I would love to learn the game of golf and I'm a great bowler. Yes I'm very competitive yet still a girly girl If football was a womens sport I'd be MVP every year! I love to eat and I'm always open to try something new at least twice! Here I am. Come get me! She last logged in Wed Mar 11, 2009   I wasn't watching my e-mail closely, and she was already back in California before I replied. We kept in touch; I proceeded slowly because I was not in an open-relationship status, and didn't expect to be until summer. She sent her phone number surprisingly early in our e-mail conversation. I eventually phoned her, and had a delightful conversation. Then she returned to this area. Should I meet her, or dodge until I'm open again? I was very tempted – I really liked talking with her, and she looked amazing in her pictures. Then an opportunity made things easier. My wife planned a trip away from me, well before I had expected. I put aside the dodging, and agreed to meet the beautiful actress a week later. She was both pleased and disappointed – pleased that I would see her, but disappointed that she'd have to wait a week. I made an excuse to go out, resolved not to do anything inappropriate to an exclusive period, and made the date. So, through a combination of phone, e-mail, and text messages, we made a plan to meet at 6 or 6:30 pm at a Starbucks near where she's staying. In a case of sloppy planning, we didn't actually settle on the precise time. While I was driving in the general direction of that Starbucks, she phoned, first asking which time we had settled upon. I said we hadn't specifically settled the time. She said that she had been delayed with what she was doing that afternoon, and needed to push it back toward the later end of the time range. I said that was OK, and that I could use the time to buy fuel. Additionally, she said that the one we had agreed upon had an early closing time, so we'd need to choose a different one. She described where it was, and it turned out that it was very close to where I was when she called. I stopped to fuel up the car. I still had quite a bit of spare time, so I went to a used book store to do a little browsing. I figured if I was going to spend time waiting, I might as well bring along some reading material. I picked up a huge, attractive Shakespeare book as a gift for her (to jokingly play on the sugar daddy theme), a book to read while I was there, and a reference to play with later. I went to the Starbucks and settled down to read. She was quite late. But when I saw her, I didn't mind. She was even more beautiful in person than in her pictures – long black hair, brown skin, oval face, very slender body. She greeted me with a hug. I hugged back, holding the embrace just the right amount of time. She sat down next to the chair where I had waited, looked over some of the things I had brought in, and apologized for being late. I suggested getting drinks; I ordered tea, and she ordered soy chai. While preparing our drinks, the server told us that the place was closing in just a few minutes, and gave us directions to a location with later hours. I paid, and we headed for the door. We discussed whether to drive together or separately, and whether my really old car or the worn-out Sanford and Son truck she had borrowed was the less cool vehicle. We agreed to drive separately, and that the borrowed truck was less cool. It was only a couple of minutes to the open-later Starbucks. We asked about the hours, and were satisfied with the time available. We settled at a table. She noticed a trace of grease on the table, apologized for being a germ-o-phobe, and asked an employee to clean the table for us. We talked about various things, particularly movies. She told me she had a child. I didn't mind that. She seemed to be charmed. I definitely enjoyed her company, for her interesting conversation, her seductive voice, and her beauty. We were there for about an hour when an employee said that the place was closing. Oops! We cleared out, and discussed what to do next. I said that we could try the Thai restaurant she had mentioned during a phone call. She was thrilled by the suggestion; she really liked the place, and she seemed pleased that we weren't ending the evening at that point. We repeated the discussion of which vehicle to take. I offered, mentioning the fresh refueling and my GPS gadget. She said the GPS was not necessary; she'd navigate. We got lost, overshooting the place by about seven miles. I pulled over, looked up the restaurant on the GPS, and waited for it to plot a route. Soon we were there. We went into the restaurant, only to find that they were closing in about ten minutes. And contrary to typical restaurant practice of seating people until closing time, they wanted to clear the place by closing time, and were only taking take-out orders at that point. She was quite disappointed, and complained a bit to the host. I was conciliatory. We walked back to the car, discussing where to go instead. Eventually she remembered that there was another good Thai restaurant quite close to the two Starbucks that had closed on us. I looked up the best return route on the GPS, and soon we were there. And it was closed too. Fortunately, there was another good restaurant at the opposite end of the parking lot, a somewhat fancy fish restaurant. And it was closed. No, not exactly. The restaurant itself was closed, but the bar was open for some time later, and they had a food menu. This time I noticed a greasy spot on the table, and wiped it with a bar napkin. She drew the waiter's attention to it, and he scrubbed the table to her germ-o-phobe satisfaction. We ordered drinks and a crab, avocado, and rice appetizer – delicious. I ordered a salmon sandwich; she ordered a Caesar salad. Both main courses were yummy too. Hers was huge, and although she ate a lot, she still had enough for a generous lunch the next day, and had it packed into a take-out box when the restaurant's bar closed. We returned to where we had left her car. I showed her a few sights around there. We just wandered around, continuing to talk for quite a while. She took my hand. I expressed both surprise and pleasure. She explained that it was because I walked a bit faster than she liked, in her pointy high heels, but she also clearly liked holding my hand. I definitely liked holding hers. Eventually it got late enough that we had to call it a night. I walked with her to her borrowed truck. As she stood with the door open, we hugged goodbye. I took a long look at her face. I had spent the entire evening looking at her, mostly at her face, but this time we were at hug range. I moved closer, and asked, "May I?" We kissed. I complimented her on her very soft lips. She complimented me on my soft, warm hands. We kissed again, several times. (Wow, the germ-o-phobe beauty was kissing me!) Neither of us wanted to say goodbye for the night. But we couldn't stay there all night, kissing in a parking lot. Finally we said goodbye for real. She offered to give me a ride to my car, even though it was just the other side of the parking lot, but I declined. Maybe that was a veiled invitation to continue kissing inside the truck, but we had to stop sometime. (I had forgotten that I had meant to give her the Shakespeare book. Now I'll have to see her again so I can give it to her.) I walked back to my car. It felt like I was dancing. (Comment on this)
Monday, January 12th, 2009
1:33 am	Tacoma blonde The story of the Tacoma blonde has another chapter. It continued with more e-mail. The story left off with this message from me to her: Date: Thu, 1 Jan 2009 07:01 Subject: New Year No, it's OK. I appreciate your effort to apologize. I had a date last night, and I was quite tempted to bail before it even started, which gives me a bit of understanding of your misbehavior the other night. [I summarized my tedious New Year's Eve date in about a paragraph.] So, definitely no fireworks celebration for me either. Do you have any interesting plans for the new year? I think I'll start by writing "2009" on my checks, so I don't write the date wrong next time I pay bills. I finally changed the subject line, which has been off-topic since about the second message. I followed up the next day: Date: Fri, 2 Jan 2009 23:17 Subject: RE: New Year Hello again. Shame on me for yesterday morning's kiss-and-tell, or rather the yawn-and-tell. That was impolite of me, even if it related to Sunday night in a way. Anyway, I feel good tonight, and I think it's time to say that you are fully forgiven. I wouldn't mind giving it another try. Maybe we can meet in the middle somewhere. Do you have free time this weekend? She replied to the New Year's Day morning message a couple of days later: Date: Sun, 4 Jan 2009 17:24 Subject: RE: New Year Happy New Year I don't check my e-mail as much on the days that I work, so that is why I am so late in getting back to you.  So it sounds like you had a boring if not interesting evening to bring in the new year.  I was working. Tonight is my Friday, and I get the next 3 nights off.  Any ideas?  I owe you a glass of milk, or was it something else? [Her first name] I replied promptly, and suggested some ideas for a second-try meeting: Date: Sun, 4 Jan 2009 19:06 Happy New Year to you too! I had started to that you had changed your mind again; nice to know you were just too busy to write. I'm pleased to hear from you again. Would you like to have dinner together at some point in between? Are there any places you know and like anywhere near halfway between us? Here are a few ideas: - [A restaurant] in Seatac (a little overpriced, but I know it's decent) - [A restaurant] in Des Moines (expensive but delicious) - [A pub] in Des Moines (never been there, but decent reviews; close to [second restaurant]) - [A bar-and-grill] in Kent (never been there, decent reviews) - (You may have ideas too.) It's hard to say whether it's less fun to celebrate the New Year asleep at home, or busy at work. Maybe if things go well, we can just pretend it's New Year's Eve tonight. As for owing me anything, no, you're forgiven. If you want to treat me to a glass of milk or something else, I welcome it as generosity, not obligation. Now, if only my computer will behave, maybe we can work out details before everything closes. She replied almost immediately: Date: Sun, 4 Jan 2009 19:17 You seem cheerful!  I work tonight.  Tomorrow night would be better for me. [Her first name] I replied fairly quickly: Date: Sun, 4 Jan 2009 19:34 I feel pretty good tonight. What sort of hours do you work? I'm guessing that if you still haven't left you work pretty late, but I don't know. I'm a night owl, but if all the fun places to go are closed it might be silly anyway; then tomorrow night would make more sense. Additionally, I [work out on these days: ...]. (That reminds me, I should make sure my exercise clothes are clean and my sneakers are easy to find.) But it would be nice to have a plan worked for tomorrow, so we don't have to waste time on e-mail that could be spent in person. I received no reply, and followed up the next day: Date: Mon, 5 Jan 2009 19:53 I hope you haven't forgotten about the plan to meet tonight. We wouldn't want either of your nights off to go to waste. After another day, I was starting to think she'd dropped the idea again: Date: Tue, 6 Jan 2009 14:21 Hey there,       I did not forget about the plan to meet.   However, I did neglect to mention which day would be best for me.  Tonight would be ideal, and I am ready, and anxious to meet with you.  If you have a location in mind, I am good with that.  I enjoy live music preferably somewhere in which one can enjoy the music and still hold an intimate conversation. If such a place exists. My computer is down and I am using the public library to correspond with you.   So if you could send me a link to some driving directions and if you have a cell, your number.  Getting lost is not a good enough excuse not to show up! :) I will check back after I choose a new book to read.  If I haven't received a response, I will see about borrowing a neighbors computer tonight. [Her first name] Her wish for live music was impossible, but I puzzled over it for quite a while before replying: Date: Tue, 6 Jan 2009 15:18 After quite a bit of research, it seems that live music tonight looks like a hopeless wish anywhere between downtown Tacoma and downtown Seattle. Too bad; that would be nice. So, how about just a regular bar or restaurant. Here are two ideas, very close together: - [A restaurant] (fancy restaurant, nice and quiet, expensive but the food deserves the price) - [A bar] (never been there, but reviews sound nice, inexpensive, and casual) [The restaurant] from Tacoma: [Four lines of directions] [The bar] from Tacoma: [Four lines of directions] I have an additional silly idea that involves a swimsuit. I'll surprise you; if you don't like it, never mind. I won't get lost; I know where [the restaurant] is, and [the bar] sounds even easier to find. Also, I have a GPS gadget. My cell number is [My number]. Sorry I took so long to reply. I spent a lot of time looking for live music. Meeting Hours later, she called my cell phone. She had finished her library errand before I finished the e-mail. She visited a friend, and said that the visit would have been rude if she had just dropped in and asked to use the computer; she had to hang around for a proper visit, and wait for the friend's kid to finish with the computer. By then it was pretty late at night; without having been told I was a night owl, it would have been too late to call. We talked briefly on the phone, and discussed where to meet. The best idea we could come up with was a 24-hour place about midway between us. Google Maps said it was within three minutes of the same drive-time for each of us. After a cold, rainy, windy drive, and about a half hour, I was there. I went inside and looked around the lobby. She saw me first and greeted me. I recognized her as the woman who had been seated at the bar in Tacoma. I had hoped she had been the one who had been playing pool, but at least she looked better than I remembered from the Tacoma night, when my perceptions were probably skewed downward by aggravation. We settled at a quiet table and ordered non-alcoholic drinks; besides the obvious driving safety reason, I would have had trouble staying awake if I had a drink. We ended up talking for a couple of hours. She worked as a waitress, and made really good tips because of her hard work and professional effort. She had done some computer work too, but liked waiting better. She even had a brief conversation about working at the meeting-place with our waiter, because she thought it was nicer than her work-place. Curiously, I had actually been to the place where she worked (but a different section of the place) on one occasion, even though it was very far out of my way, because of a live music show that had been worth the trip. She asked me questions about myself, including whether I was married. When I said yes, but I was open, her reaction surprised me a bit: she said she was in an open relationship too. Superficially, I wouldn't have expected to have had much to talk about with her, but we got along quite well, and the conversation never really lagged in a couple of hours. I felt like eating something, and asked for a dessert menu. She liked the idea, but wasn't sure she wanted a whole dessert, so we shared one. She thought that version of the dessert was a lot better than the same thing where she worked. When time ran late, I asked whether she wanted to fool around. It wasn't really so much because I was all that attracted to her as because I enjoyed her company in general, and was horny in general. So when she said she needed to get home I wasn't terribly disappointed, like I had been when the fantastically attractive woman from Plenty of Fish had declined. I went home, fairly content. The human contact had been the main thing I needed at the time. Follow-up I wrote to her again a couple of days later, more or less closing the book on that chapter of the story: Date: Thu, 8 Jan 2009 12:48 With your computer messed up, I don't know when you'll get this, but it's not time dependent so it doesn't really matter. Anyway, I enjoyed the late-night conversation. It was nice to meet and get acquainted. Also, you suggested a good spot. It was open at that hour, service was attentive, and it was good for conversation -- and you couldn't have found more of a midpoint location than that. It's interesting that the open thing didn't freak you out. I didn't offer that information up front because some people just don't accept that no matter what, but I also didn't want to lie about it when you asked directly. It was quite an interesting surprise when it turned out that you're in an open situation too. Had I known that, I wouldn't have waited until you asked directly to tell you. If you want to look for a hook-up, or just a night of pool or live music, I'd suggest one of the big two free dating sites, rather than Craigslist. I think I told you that I've had about five dates from Criagslist; the 21-year-old was the only sex date. That was from about four weeks of answering ads this summer (also learning how to recognize the phonies) and another four weeks this winter, probably 20 or 25 ads a day while I was learning to recognize fakes, and maybe five a day after I got the hang of it. By contrast, I got one phone date from OK Cupid with someone who was ready for action, but it fell through because of snow and her busy schedule, and that was in only 40 or so messages sent. And on Plenty of Fish, I got an actual date after only about a dozen e-mails, with someone I would have wanted for long-term relationship if I had been single or in an always-open marriage, and she clearly wanted me too, right up until last-moment cold feet. Naturally, results are different for men and women. If you advertise on Craigslist, you will find someone who wants something. But it will mean sorting through heaps of really lame copy-and-paste replies, bad cell-phone photos of cocks, and other non-thoughtful replies. The only reason I didn't give up on it entirely was the chance at a rare accident. But to attempted a metaphor inspired by your work-place, it's like playing the slot machines, except that it's time wasted rather than money. By contrast, on the dating sites, you get to sort through fairly extensive self-descriptions of people you communicate with. And since there isn't the race against the flaggers complicating the search, people actually have time to write out a message that they've put a few moments of thought into. Also, the dating sites are fun even if you're not specifically looking for a date. OK Cupid has good chat, fun questionnaires that help find compatible people, and adequate bulletin boards. Plenty of Fish has good filters (not that you would want to use them) and good bulletin boards. Give them a try. (And ignore the pay sites.) Anyway, I can't think of much else right now. Again, it was nice meeting. -[My first name] P.S. You may find this link interesting: [A very long link to a reverse phone directory site, looking up her home phone number] Don't worry; I won't do anything inappropriate with it. That seems to be the end of the story of the Tacoma blonde; she hasn't replied in a few days. I'm off the market once again, so I'm not going to bug her for further contact, or seek in-person contact with anyone else. (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 3rd, 2009
4:37 am	fantastic Fish All of the dates I've written about in this journal have been on Craigslist, so this date one is different. I met her through Plenty of Fish. Rather than a classified ad site where ads expire after a week if they're not deleted earlier than that, POF is a dating site with persistent profiles. Since those profiles can be searched, I have to cut more details out of the story to protect her identity. Lately I have spent some time reading the forums on POF. When people there said things I found interesting, I frequently looked at their profiles. In the case of this woman, I found her profile very interesting. Here's her profile, heavily paraphrased and censored for privacy: [user name] [brief summary] City: [same general area as me] Height: [average] Age: [a few years younger than mine] [Pictures: PoF resizes pictures so that they're pretty small and grainy, but it's still clear that she's very attractive] I am Seeking a: Man For: Dating Marital Status: [unattached] Smoker? No Do you drink? No Do you do drugs? No Smarts: [well-educated] Profession: [her job suggests we'd have some shared interests] About Me [She's optimistic, adventurous, occasionally shy. She likes both intellectual and physical activity. She's in no hurry to get married. She travels and speaks more than one language. She expects honesty. She has eccentric music tastes. Her profile essay is long and informative.] First Date [coffee date, or some sort of adventure] Mail Settings older than xx You must have a picture to contact this user. Must not do drugs Unsurprisingly, the first thing that caught my attention there was the pictures of a very attractive woman. The text was long, detailed, interesting, and self-consistent. (She seemed almost too good to be true, so I read carefully for inconsistencies that would reveal any sort of misrepresentation.) She wasn't looking for "Intimate Encounter" (as PoF describes what I've been looking for), but her mail settings don't block users with that profile setting, so I assumed that the worst that could happen was that she might take my introduction as a compliment and say "thanks but no thanks" in reply. I started writing, covering several topics. My introductory message ended up over 400 words, all personally crafted for her. I started with a few innocent paragraphs before addressing the point that I found her incredibly attractive, and hoped she might be interested in no-strings sex while I'm in an open-marriage state. Since I addressed personal details in her profile, I have to censor parts of what I wrote: From: [my user name] (View Profile)       Sent Date: 1/1/2009 5:30:14 PM Subject: [one of her forum topics], compliments, etc. [A long paragraph discussing what it was in the forums that drew my attention to her.] [Two long paragraphs commenting on a shared interest.] [Three not-so-long paragraphs explaining a story behind the picture I sent.] Finally, it's clear from your profile that you're not primarily looking for what I am. But if I were looking for regular dating you'd be high on my list of women to contact. As I said, your profile gives the impression that you're healthy, strong, and interesting, and the pictures show that you're good-looking too. I also assume that it's improbable that you're even secondarily looking for the same thing I am. But [something I quoted from her profile] encourages me to give it a try just in case you are interested. If not, feel free to ignore this paragraph, and trust that I'll limit any future communications to polite conversation. [I attached a waist-up picture of myself, with a nice smile.] Wow, she appreciated my message. She liked my writing. And coincidentally, she was interested in finding someone for no-strings sex, just as I'm making the offer. From: [her user name] (View Profile)       Sent Date: 1/1/2009 6:08:01 PM Subject: RE:[one of her forum topics], compliments, etc.   Thanks for writing to me! I think you are right about [the forum topic I wrote about]. [Four words.] You seem very intelligent, I can tell you are a good writer, would be good to read some of your work... and you could not have chosen better timing to contact me.. it's sort of funny that you were writing to me just as I was writing a letter that was somewhat related to what you are looking for. An interesting coincidence! One question: how long before you re off the market? [her first name] I continued with a couple of paragraphs of small-talk. Then I admitted that I was amazed that she was receptive to the idea I was proposing. I got started trying to arrange a time when it might happen: From: [my user name] (View Profile)       Sent Date: 1/2/2009 1:50:26 AM Subject: [one of her forum topics], compliments, etc. [Three sentences about politics.] But I'll spare you politics unless I find you're interested in the topic. [Another sentence about the same forum topic.] But again, enough about that sort of thing. So, I have written to a very attractive woman, made a positive impression, cautiously presented the idea of a date that isn't meant to lead to a committed exclusive relationship. And not only did I receive a reply, it was something other than a clear "no." That's not something that happens very day! Unless schedules change, I am available [two sentences about when I'm available]. Aside from that, my schedule is very flexible. We could meet as soon as late tomorrow afternoon, if we can work out the details that quickly and your schedule allows. Since your profile tells me that you live in [her location, and reference to other details in her profile], I'm guessing that [a particular mall] is a reasonably convenient location for you. If so, and if we are able to align our schedules, would the Starbucks between [two landmarks] be a good place to meet? I don't mean to be pushy suggesting a place to meet without first determining whether a workable time exists; I just offer the idea to reduce the number of e-mails needed to meet if we are able to find the opportunity. [I should give] you off-site contact information. [A few words], since my e-mail refreshes automatically, and I have to remember to check e-mail on PoF manually. My e-mail address is [my address]. -[My first name] Wow, it looked like she'd be available soon: From: [her user name] (View Profile)       Sent Date: 1/1/2009 9:53:54 AM Subject: [one of her forum topics], compliments, etc   Hi [My first name], I am available all day today starting noon; not sure yet what my day will look like tomorrow, [brief explanation. The mall I suggested] might be a bit TOO close to home if you know what I mean; would you like to meet further South? I can call you if you like. [Her first name], [Her e-mail address] I slept late that day, and didn't see her POF message right away. Just as I was checking my POF mail, she sent me regular e-mail to let me know she had written on POF: Date: Fri, 2 Jan 2009 11:49 -0800 (PST) From: [her e-mail address] To: [my e-mail address] Subject: Check your POF mail! [Her first name] While her regular e-mail message was coming to my in-box, I was writing on POF to tell her that my schedule was mostly open: From: [my user name] (View Profile)       Sent Date: 1/2/2009 11:56:04 AM Subject: [one of her forum topics], compliments,   Today would be just fine. I'm going [out somewhere], and should be home around 2 or 3. I understand too close to home. [A sentence speculating about why, which turned out to be wrong.] I welcome your suggestions for a more suitable location. We can meet as soon as I'm home, showered, and able to make it out. When I noticed her regular e-mail, I replied to say I had written to her on POF: Date: Fri, 2 Jan 2009 11:57 -0800 (PST) From: [my e-mail address] To: [her e-mail address] Subject: Check your POF mail! Thank you. I just saw it. [Her message was automatically quoted. The rest of our messages continued with that] She had a nice idea about something to do for a date. She thought I might be concerned about sharing my phone number, but since I'm open for now it's no big deal. Date: Fri, 2 Jan 2009 12:17 -0800 (PST)   [That's enough of the full e-mail headers.] Are you an outdoors type? Would you like to meet [at a certain outdoor location] somewhere? (Of course we don't have to, but the weather is great). (I understand the part about not sharing your phone number with strangers under your circumstances.. it might make it harder to meet though) [Her first name] I liked the outdoor activity idea, but meeting indoors still seemed like a good idea. Date: Fri, 2 Jan 2009 14:30 -0800 (PST) [Detail about me], but with the wonderful weather that does sound nice. However, meeting at an outdoor location is troublesome unless landmarks are very obvious and we arrive close enough the same time that neither has to wait outside for long. (Outside and active is good. Outside waiting is uncomfortable, particularly since I will be fresh out of the shower when I leave home.) A coffee shop would be a good place to meet, I think. Then we could go to a nice outdoor activity. You're right that phone is easier. I can give you my cell phone number, but I'd prefer to call from my wired line, which has caller-ID blocked. [My cell number]. Don't call right away; I am going to take a shower as soon as I send this. I wrote again after my shower: Date: Fri, 2 Jan 2009 15:06 -0800 (PST) It's OK to call now, or I can call you if that works better for you. She took a long time replying, and apologized. The long shower explanation didn't make much sense, but I assume she had other things to take care of too. Date: Fri, 2 Jan 2009 17:28 -0800 (PST) Sorry, I took a shower too, and forgot to warn you that my showers are longer than yours! I'll call you in a while, hope it's not too late. Was her call too late? Of course not. I'd wait all day for her to call. (And I figured it was time to change our e-mail subject line.) Date: Fri, 2 Jan 2009 17:40 -0800 (PST) Subject: meeting I was concerned that there might have been some miscommunication. Good to know that it was just a matter of timing. It would have been unfortunate if you had gone to my meeting-place suggestion and sat there all afternoon. I look forward to the call. She's slow getting back to me. She asked me to pick a place and time to meet. Date: Fri, 2 Jan 2009 18:13 -0800 (PST) Sorry, still trying to find my cell... Anyway, while I am at it.. where and when are we meeting? I still liked my original location proposal, but I offered another one consistent with her suggestion of going farther south. Date: Fri, 2 Jan 2009 18:44 -0800 (PST) I don't think we decided a location. If you'd like to go ahead with the [original mall] location I suggested before (the Starbucks between [two landmarks]), that would be fine. Or since you suggested farther south, maybe the Tully's at [specific address] would work. From there we could discuss what else to do. Google Maps tells me that's 11 minutes from here to the Tully's, but with traffic I'd guess more like 20. Add 10 more because e-mail seems slow tonight, and any time after about 7:10 is OK. [original mall] is closer for me, and (I'm guessing) for you, but you said too close. If you also have a land line, you could try phoning your cell to help find it. A few minutes later, she phoned me. Her caller-ID was blocked. We discussed where to meet, and agreed on the coffee shop I had suggested. I repeated that I could be there as soon as 7:10 pm, but she suggested 7:45 instead. The extra time was actually good for me anyway, because I wasn't as ready to run out the door as I had thought. I got there around 7:30, ordered some tea, and started reading the newspaper I had brought with me. (I wish I had brought reading material with me when I went to meet the "cute Tacoma blonde"!) As 8 pm approached, one of the coffee-shop people pointed out that they close at 8. I started wondering whether it would turn out to be an outdoor meeting after all, or another missed connection. When the shop closed, I moved outside, putting the sections of the newspaper I wasn't reading onto a chair and keeping my hands warm with the tea. I watched cars that drove past, looking for the face I had seen in her profile pictures. Finally, I saw the desired face in a car window. She saw me, and pulled into a parking place close to my car. I got up and approached her as she got out of her car. She had been very attractive in the pictures, but in person she was fantastic. She dressed well too, in a nice form-fitting suede coat and high heels that drew attention to her slender, muscular legs. As we got to touching distance, she paused for a slight moment, as if deciding at the last moment whether to offer a handshake or a hug. She opened her arms for a hug. She seemed tentative; I felt a thrill at the touch. We didn't maintain the embrace for long. She observed that I was waiting outside the coffee shop, which had closed, and commented that we were meeting outdoors anyway, even though that hadn't been the plan. We discussed where to go instead of the coffee shop, and I suggested a restaurant. There were a few near the coffee shop. The first didn't look very appealing. We peeked inside another one, but it was pretty busy, which she thought might not be ideal for conversation. We chose third, an inexpensive Chinese place. Inside, we ordered. I paid; it was under $20. She's easy to please, I thought; I'd have been happy to treat her to a white tablecloth sort of place. We chose a spot that was far enough from others to be good for conversation. She took off her coat, showing that the heels were only part of the sexy look she brought to the date. We talked about all sorts of things. We had an amazing variety of common interests. The conversation never paused for lack of something to say, and neither she nor I dominated the conversation. Even on topics that were much more her interest than mine she kept the conversation interesting. At some point, she asked about my open arrangement with my wife. Although I had an explanation in my POF profile, she wanted more details. In particular, she wanted to know whose idea the arrangement was (mine), and how comfortable my wife was with it (initially hesitant, but curious). After some conversation on that topic, we went back to talking about common interests. Her initial body language was just friendly and curious, but as we spent more time together I saw a shift in her attitude. It was sexual tension. Halfway through the dinner, the space between us was tense with unresolved sexual tension. I looked at her face, and I felt attraction both ways. Her top fit her slender torso closely, showed hints of her shoulders through lace, and left her beautiful arms bare. I wanted her, not just because she was so physically attractive, but also because she was so interesting to talk with. I could see that she wanted me too. It was clear from her body language, her eyes, and her tone of voice. It wasn't just a mutual lust jackpot, it was lust with someone I'd want as a friend and intellectual company. If I were unattached (or in an always-open marriage), she'd be a great real-relationship partner. Finally, the restaurant announced that closing time had arrived. We cleared our table and headed for the door. As we were leaving, I asked her whether we should go somewhere private. I knew the answer already, but someone had to bring up the topic first. But it turned out that I didn't know her answer. She said she needed time to think about it. I asked what she needed to think about; she replied that it was the open marriage situation. That was the only reason for a negative answer that made sense, given her obvious desire. But it still surprised me that her hesitation on that point outweighed her desire. She had clearly arrived at the date with an intellectual acceptance of open marriage, but apparently either part of her resisted the idea or she was concerned that my wife had not immediately approved the open arrangement idea. She invited my comment, and I said something about understanding her need to wait. I forget what she said next, but I clearly remember my answer: "I find you very attractive." I said it in a tone that said attractive in every way. It was the only answer I had. At that point, although I didn't realize it just then, I made a mistake. What I should have done was to ask to find a public place where we could spend more time together. Even if the sexual tension would have to wait until she made her decision, I still wanted to be with her, just enjoying her company. But I failed to think of that until later. Instead we just continued walking toward where we had both parked our cars. Next to her car, she offered another hug. There was not a hint of the hesitation I felt in the greeting hug, just the sensation that she wanted to hold me, and my desire to hold her. I moved my face to hers to kiss her. But the move surprised her, and she didn't raise her lips to kiss me back. Instead, my kiss landed on her cheek, and the lust in the embrace dissipated before we stepped apart. Maybe she had already decided "no" and just asked time to think about it as a gentle exit, but if she was still undecided the kiss had not helped. I watched her get into her car, back out, and start driving away. Rejection happens, but it had never come as such a complete surprise. It had been less than a day and a half since first contact. But already I wanted her, mind and body, and she wanted me. But she still said no. (Comment on this)
Friday, January 2nd, 2009
2:36 pm	New Year's Eve Choosing a date The evening started with this Craigslist ad (censored personal details in italics): It is midnight somewhere, so kiss me now!!!! - 44 (In your arms) Reply to: pers-xxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org [?] Date: 2008-12-31, 2:39PM PST I would love to be in a warm embrace and a sensual kiss right now. I can wait until midnight, but maybe we should get started kindling the fire before them. I am a extremely, passionate, sensual, successful, secure, confident, classy, sexy, voluptuous woman. I prefer an educated, professional, tall middle aged man with a high sex drive. Send me a note, include a pic and make me an offer I can't refuse!! LOL You'll be a very happy man!!! I don't really feel like I'm "middle-aged", but the request for high sex drive sounded tempting, and the ad's category suggested that she lived close by. I gave it a shot: Date: Wed, 31 Dec 2008 16:57:00 -0800 (PST) From: [my e-mail address] Subject: New Year's Eve To: pers-xxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org If you haven't found a your date for tonight, I'm curious. [I included a sentence describing my profession.] I'm near your age, six feet tall, slender-athletic build (about xxx pounds), blue eyes, brown hair, and nice legs. [I included a comment about the picture I attached.[ I'm clean in the ways that matter: I don't have any diseases, I don't abuse drugs, I don't smoke, I drink lightly and infrequently, and I practice good hygiene. If my high sex drive gets put to use, condoms are a common sense necessity. [I quoted her ad text, which helps avoid confusion if I've replied a bunch of ads.] [I included a waist-up picture of myself, smiling and tastefully dressed.] While I awaited a reply, I looked at other ads. I found one that looked like someone I had communicated with before. (I didn't keep a copy of her ad.) She had been interested, and would clearly be good conversation, but we hadn't made any plans for practical reasons and because she didn't seem to be my type in terms of looks. Rather than replying her ad through the Craigslist re-mailer address, I wrote directly to her e-mail address: Date: Wed, 31 Dec 2008 17:14 -0800 (PST) From: [my e-mail address] Subject: your ad? To: [her e-mail address] Is this your ad? http://seattle.craigslist.org/region/cas/xxxxxxxxx.html My plans don't seem to be happening either, so if you haven't already accepted an offer, this might be a nice occasion to get together. The "midnight somewhere" woman replied a few minutes later: Date: Wed, 31 Dec 2008 17:22 -0800 (PST) From: [her e-mail address] Subject: Re: New Year's Eve To: [my e-mail address] Happy New Year's Darling, Thank you for answering my post........I enjoyed what I have read. Yes let's have some fun!!!! I definitely have enough sensual heat to keep your attention all night. My lips are made for kissing, my hands are worth holding and my body is very skilled in a sexy way to keep you wanting more........ I prefer not to do allot of emailing but maybe move to a phone conversation, meet and begin our evening together......through conversation and touch. I have included my pic, one old and one new for your viewing. I am 44 5'7" redhead, brown eyes, bbw, single, std clean, don't drink or smoke. I look forward to more........ ~Kisses, [Her pen-name] [Her reply included a quote of my mail.] [She attached a photo of her face, and one of her upper body in bland lingerie.] Good news: she's clearly ready for action, she's a redhead, she doesn't smoke, and she says she's disease-clean. Bad news: her face looks weatherbeaten, her body is droopy, and she over-uses ellipses with excess dots. Maybe I should decline. Five minutes after that reply, the "your ad?" woman replied: Date: Wed, 31 Dec 2008 17:27 -0800 (PST) From: [her e-mail address] Subject: Re: your ad? To: [my e-mail address] Yep, mine. This is getting a mite weird. But I have to agree, it might be a nice opportunity. I replied to one person who had answered, but have not gotten a return reply; so hard to know if that indicates a lack of interest or bandwidth. I'm still without furniture; my bed gets delivered on Friday... so I have to suggest I not host. Did you have anything in mind? I was more interested in her, so I put "midnight somewhere" on hold and replied "your ad?". I even used some italics and a link: Date: Wed, 31 Dec 2008 17:52 -0800 (PST) From: [my e-mail address] Subject: Re: your ad? To: [her e-mail address] I wasn't necessarily suggesting something that requires a bed; that would depend on how things go when we meet. However, if it's just a matter of furniture, we might be able to improvise with a few layers of towels or blankets if things turn out that way. We could go out for drinks, and maybe a light dinner; I had a large late lunch. If you feel like a party, The Stranger has a long list of options. Curiously, after a dry spell in credible replies, someone else answered within minutes of your reply. I'd prefer to meet you, since we seem to be a reasonable personality match. She's interested, but there are logistical issues: Date: Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:03 -0800 (PST) From: [her e-mail address] Subject: Re: your ad? To: [my e-mail address] Well, I am officially old, I dallied with someone the other night on a few layers of towels and could barely move in the morning. So I have officially sworn off the floor for that type of recreation. For what that's worth. I did get a reply from my prior replier, but of a non-conclusive nature. So feel free to pursue alternatives, since I feel I owe right of first refusal to the other individual; I will let you know what transpires on my end. I searched more ads and found nothing. So, it's back to the previously dismissed candidate, hoping that her pictures were unflattering, rather than accurate representations: Date: Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:26 -0800 (PST) From: [my e-mail address] Subject: Re: New Year's Eve To: [her e-mail address] Sorry about my slow reply. I happened to receive two replies at almost the same time, the other with someone I knew already, and replied hers first. If that hasn't spoiled my chances for tonight, I'd be pleased to spend some time with you. You are [in my region], right? We could meet for drinks in public if you prefer; I'm in [description of my general area]. I can phone if you prefer. She replied quickly: Date: Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:34 -0800 (PST) From: [her e-mail address] Subject: Re: New Year's Eve To: [my e-mail address] Thats too funny........I just gave up on a evening out, took off my clothes put on my bathing suit and headed for my hot tub but the wind blew the cover up and the temp is now too cold to enjoy it, I guess what I am trying to say......do you mind if I meet you in my swim suit? no thats not it............I can change lol I am up for meeting if you are I live on [description of her general area] so maybe [a mall roughly in between] would be good to meet at??? Feel free to call...... [her land-line phone number and real first name] So I phoned. The "juicy" part We made plans to meet at a book store coffee shop. When I got there the store had closed early, either to allow employees a chance to get out for New Year's Eve partying or (more likely) because customers are scarce on New Year's Eve. I paced near the store's entrance for a while, getting both literal and figurative cold feet. When I spotted a parking space closer to the door, I moved my car, and settled to listen to NPR while watching the store's door. The woman arrived and pulled on the locked door. As I approached, I smelled strong perfume and saw the same weather-beaten face I had seen in the picture. I grant her positive points for honesty, but I wasn't sure I wanted someone with a face that looked like a raisin and smelled like air freshener. We decided to walk to a stand-alone coffee shop to talk; it was closed too. The only place open within walking distance appeared to be a hotel lounge, so we went there. We settled at a table for two and both of us ordered juice. In her case it was because she doesn't drink; she had told me that on the phone. In my case the juice was because I was hesitant to commit to staying there long enough for alcohol to wear off so I was safe to drive again. She did almost all of the talking, which would have been OK if she had been more interesting. She wasn't dominating the conversation; it was just that – although I'm usually very talkative – I was finding it hard to find anything worthwhile to say to her. When our glasses were empty, about an hour later, I said, "I'm just not feeling it." She said she wasn't either. I paid the bill (minimal, even though hotel bars tend to be expensive), we hugged goodnight, and that was it. I home and looked at more Craigslist ads for about an hour, answered one "my date flaked out" ad in hopes of rescuing the evening, and looked in vain for any other non-spam ads. I finally went to bed at 10, several hours earlier than usual for me. So, how is that story "juicy"? Because we drank juice at the hotel lounge. (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 1st, 2009
12:17 pm	cute Tacoma blonde E-mail conversation The night all started with this Craigslist ad (censored personal details in italics): Tired of playing with myself...Wanna have a drink? - w4m - 33 (Tacoma) Reply to: pers-xxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org [?] Date: 2008-12-28, 9:07PM PST I am a cute blonde, hwp, clean and dd free. I have the night off, and i want to play some pool, have a few drinks and enjoy myself. Does anyone have any suggestions of a good bar in or around Tacoma where I could have a good time and maybe meet a good time? Tacoma is a long drive, but this is the best ad I've seen in a while, so I figured I'd give it a shot. I replied: Date: Sun, 28 Dec 2008 21:35 -0800 (PST) From: [my e-mail address] Subject: [Name of a bar in Tacoma] To: pers-xxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org I don't know Tacoma very well, but the other night someone suggested [Name of a bar in Tacoma]. If that sounds good, I can be there in about an hour. If that sounds fun, we can trade pictures. [I quoted her ad text, which helps avoid confusion if I've replied a bunch of ads.] She replied ten minutes later: Date: Sun, 28 Dec 2008 21:45 -0800 (PST) From: [her e-mail address] Subject: RE: [Name of a bar in Tacoma] To: [my e-mail address] That sounds good, or maybe [name of a different bar in Tacoma]? [Her reply included a quote of my mail.] That sounds promising. I've never heard of the place, but it was easy enough to Google for it. (And that's enough of the full e-mail headers.) Date: Sun, 28 Dec 2008 21:54 I don't know Tacoma very well, but it looks fine to me from the web site. This is the place, right? [Link to the bar she suggested.] I'm six feet tall, slender-athletic build (about xxx pounds), blue eyes, brown hair, and nice legs. That sound good too? She took ten minutes to reply: Date: Sun, 28 Dec 2008 22:04 yes, that is the place.  I will be there.  [Her first name] Excellent! I had to make sure I'd be able to pick her out of the crowd: Date: Sun, 28 Dec 2008 22:07 In case there is more than one cute blonde there, how do I recognize you? She replied quickly: Date: Sun, 28 Dec 2008 22:10 You will know, you will know.  I am the one who isn't a college cutie. I checked the travel time on Google Maps before answering: Date: Sun, 28 Dec 2008 22:19 OK, I hope that's enough information. You don't want me going home with the wrong cute blonde, do you? Anyway, I'm heading out the door now. I'll drive fast. Should be there around 11:20, unless traffic is weird. She hadn't realized how far I was agreeing to drive: Date: Sun, 28 Dec 2008 22:23 Where are you driving from?  It is only 10:20 now. I checked the travel time on Google Maps before answering: Date: Sun, 28 Dec 2008 22:26 I'm coming from [My city]. I just put the address into my GPS thing. It says I should be there at 11:17. I'll be wearing a black coat. She apparently decided it was OK that I'd take a while to get there: Date: Sun, 28 Dec 2008 22:30 ok then I will see you there, I will be in black too. At the bar I made sure my hygiene was in order: shaved, teeth brushed, etc. I grabbed the GPS gadget and the "sex kit" (a bag with condoms, a dental dam, and mouth wash). I put on shoes and coat, and got in the car. I drove as fast as I could without worrying about exceeding the safe limit or getting a speeding ticket. I had a close call on the latter, almost passing a pair of police motorcycles at a speed of about 73 miles per hour (in a 60 zone), but I noticed the police markings and slowed down before they noticed me. Aside from that, the trip was without incident. Thanks to the speeding, I arrived at 11:14 pm, three minutes ahead of the original estimate. I walked through the entire bar, and no one showed signs of looking around for someone who was looking for someone else. I stepped outside and checked in the smoking shelter; no one fit the description there either. When I came back inside, the bartender asked what I was looking for, and I said I was meeting someone. He suggested I check the other sections, but asked for an ID check first. Was that habit, flattery, or honest uncertainty about my age? Hard to say. I settled at the bar and ordered orange juice. I didn't want alcohol until I knew whether I'd be hanging around long enough for any alcohol to wear off so I could drive safely. I sipped for few minutes, then took another look through the place. No luck. I returned to the bar. At some point, I figured I should specifically ask women who might fit the description whether they were in fact the right person. Way in the back, I saw a fairly attractive blonde woman wearing black and gray, apparently somewhat older than most of the crowd there, playing pool. At one end of the bar, I saw a somewhat heavy, apparently thirty-something woman with dirty-blonde hair, wearing a black motorcycle jacket, talking with another large, muscular woman. I asked each of them, "Are you [Her first name]?" Both said no. One of them – I couldn't quite remember which – added, "lots of blondes wearing black in here tonight." There actually weren't a lot of blondes wearing black, just those two, but I didn't debate the point. I returned to the bar and continued sipping my juice. I made a couple more walks through the place, even though I didn't really expect to see more people, because I could see the door from the bar and I hadn't seen any arrivals in a while. Occasionally people left for the night. At some point, the motorcycle jacket woman asked what I was doing. I replied something along the lines of, "I was hoping to meet someone here. Blind dates really suck sometimes." She said something like, "It's been a long time since I've had a blind date." Her tone neither shut down conversation nor invited more. But I couldn't think of much more to say, so I didn't say anything. When my juice was empty, and I had tired of munching the ice, I took another look around the place. I wandered over to the stacks of newspapers along the wall, aimlessly paged through the Seattle Weekly, and looked over the covers of The Stranger and a Tacoma-area weekly. They didn't really help pass the time. I noticed a young-looking blondish woman, not wearing black but dressed fairly dark, talking endlessly on her cell phone. I thought about asking her, but when she finally finished her call – probably close to an hour long – she settled at a table with four other young-looking people. That didn't seem likely to be the right person, so I didn't approach. More people left, and the crowd thinned. As one party left, I thought I heard someone say [Her first name] from outside, before the door shut behind them. I wasn't sure I heard the name, and I thought about running out and asking whether someone had said the name. But while I hesitated the people in that party dispersed. I continued to wait around, finally giving up at about 12:30 am, about an hour and a quarter after I had arrived. I got in the car, shouted a grunt of anger, and drove home. The drive went without incident. More e-mail When I got home, I took care of a few things, then checked my e-mail, wondering what I might find. I had a weird surprise. She had apologized: Date: Mon, 29 Dec 2008 00:55 [My first name], Would you hate me if I told you that your instincts were right.  The blonde you asked was me.  I apologize for not being honest with you.  I am playing it safe, because i don't want to set myself up to be in danger or anything like that.     You are cute, a lot like [A male celebrity].  Seriously.  I didn't know what to expect.  Honestly, I didn't think anyone would drive here from [My city] or anywhere outside of Tacoma without knowing more about who they were meeting.  Why did you drive from [My city], honestly? I would even be more than willing to drive and see you now that I know you aren't the stalker type.  at least you don't appear to be.  You seem to be the type of man rarely found around here, employed and obviously ambitious. Apologies, [Her first name] Although I could reasonably have been even nastier, my reply was still pretty harsh: Date: Mon, 29 Dec 2008 01:55 I asked two blonde women whether they were [Her first name]. Were you the one at the end of the bar or in the back playing pool? Meeting in a public place like that is playing it safe. Saying no when someone asks your name in a reasonably safe setting seems more like playing games. Even if you wanted to observe for a while from a safe distance, you could have at least approached later and said you wanted to check me out for a while before identifying yourself. Or you could have invited conversation until you dared confess the initial caution, so I wouldn't be sitting around bored on a barstool for an hour and a quarter, drinking orange juice and watching lame television with no sound. Why drive all the way from [My city]? Because I was home alone bored after snow had shut down pretty much anything fun to do for more than a week, and you seemed more sincere than a woman in Everett who was flirting in e-mail with me at the same time. As for a being stalker, if I were, why would I bother stalking someone 42 miles away when there are plenty of people I could stalk around here? [I explained why I have lots of free time.] Having [all that time] leaves me free to do stupid stuff like driving to Tacoma on a whim. Meet again? Maybe I'll think about it after the steam stops coming out of my ears. She continues to acknowledge that she screwed up: Date: Mon, 29 Dec 2008 19:29 Fair enough.  I do appreciate your candor.  Let me know when you are finished steaming, that is if you still want to get together. [Her first name] I figured I'd see whether anything could be salvaged from the wasted time, assuming she was the woman I thought she was: Date: Mon, 29 Dec 2008 21:30 OK, since I haven't seen a lot of ads tonight other than the usual phonies, I'll consider it. Can you describe where you were in the bar, and more specifically what you were wearing? She doesn't realize that the other blonde wearing black wasn't one of the "college cuties". She's also eager to make up for her misdeed: Date: Tue, 30 Dec 2008 02:07 I am the gal that told you that there sere "lots of blondes wearing all black."  Seriously, I couldn't have blended enough to look like a college cutie.  If I did then I am grateful to the good Lord, because I thought I stood out like a sore thumb. I am going to bed. sweetie.  I spent the day cleaning house, packing up Christmas stuff, and thinking of ways in which to make up for the drive you took to get here. Goodnight, sleep tight................. [Her first name] I thought I remembered who made the "lots of blondes wearing all black" remark, but I had to clarify. And I gave her a hint about something I like: Date: Tue, 30 Dec 2008 06:00 Ahh, way in the back of the pool room? Hint: I like massages. Good news: she is the cute blonde, like she said: Date: Wed, 31 Dec 2008 22:02 Yes, that was me. Are you still angry with me? Happy New Year. No fireworks celebration for me as I will be at work until 4:30 am. [Her first name] Events of the night before (which I will describe in another journal entry) had made me a bit more understanding of her impulsive misdeed: Date: Thu, 1 Jan 2009 07:01 Subject: New Year No, it's OK. I appreciate your effort to apologize. I had a date last night, and I was quite tempted to bail before it even started, which gives me a bit of understanding of your misbehavior the other night. [I summarized my tedious New Year's Eve date in about a paragraph.] So, definitely no fireworks celebration for me either. Do you have any interesting plans for the new year? I think I'll start by writing "2009" on my checks, so I don't write the date wrong next time I pay bills. [I finally changed the subject line, which has been off-topic since about the second message.] So, that's the story of the cute Tacoma blonde, as it stands on New Year's Day. She seems attracted. She clearly wants to make up for her misdeed. Maybe she'll find a way. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 24th, 2008
1:39 pm	Festivus Eve My wife and I have been apart for a long time, because of travel. We have been before, and it's been stressful. This time we decided to experiment with relieving that stress by being open while we're apart, as long as we're absolutely careful about protection, and are exclusive once again when we're together again. I tried for a while to try out the new open privileges, searching Craigslist for a suitable partner. On the night before Festivus, something finally happened. E-mail conversation The night all started with this Craigslist ad (censored personal details in italics): Stuck and Lonely in the snow- I can host - w4m - 21 (her neighborhood) Reply to: pers-xxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org [?] Date: 2008-12-22, 8:44PM PST come over to me. I love big cocks, i love it rough. I'm all for mutual stimulation. I have toys, ropes, whatever, all those are optional. Must be DD free, and DISCREET! i will send pics to those who respond I'm not into rough, toys, ropes, or any of that, but lots of people are snowed in and practically everyone else is afraid to drive anyway. So I figured I'd give it a try. I wrote to her: Date: Mon, 22 Dec 2008 21:22 -0800 (PST) From: [my e-mail address] Subject: I can drive. To: pers-xxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org I can get to her neighborhood; I grew up driving on snow. I don't need the accessories, but I'd be happy to indulge your preferences -- mutual stimulation, after all. No drugs, no diseases, I don't smoke, and I'm discreet. I'm six feet tall, slender-athletic build, blue eyes, brown hair, and nice legs. Please excuse the silly pose in the picture. [I quoted her ad text, which helps avoid confusion if I've replied a bunch of ads.] [I attached an ankles-to-knees picture of myself, wearing nothing but skimpy black underwear.] She replied five minutes later: Date: Mon, 22 Dec 2008 21:27 -0800 (PST) From: [her e-mail address] Subject: Re: I can drive. To: [my e-mail address] when can you get here? --- On Tue, 12/23/08, [my e-mail address] wrote: [Her reply included a quote of my mail.] [She attached a picture of her breasts with nipple clamps, supported by one of her hands, and a legs-wide close-up.] That's a very good sign! I knew the part of town she listed as her neighborhood, and looked up the drive time before replying. (And that's enough of the full e-mail headers.) Date: Mon, 22 Dec 2008 21:38 Google Maps says it's a 30 minute drive, but the snow will add some time. I have a GPS gadget so I don't get lost. If streets are nasty in your neighborhood I might want to park somewhere near you and walk the last of it. Don't want to waste time trying to get un-stuck that could be used more productively. If you have any condom preferences, I can stop at [an adult store] along the way. Othewise I'll bring mine or use what you have. She replied in just three minutes: Date: Mon, 22 Dec 2008 21:41 i have plenty. [her address, apartment number, city state zip] so it's a date? Jackpot! She followed up with more details a few minutes later: Date: Mon, 22 Dec 2008 21:54 forgot to mention i'm in a lesbian relationship, i think. so i have short hair, but i'm all woman. trust me. pic is me. i look sweeter than i really am. [She attached a face picture: a young woman with a nice smile and very short hair.] This just keeps getting more unusual. While she was writing that, I had composed a reply to the address e-mail: Date: Mon, 22 Dec 2008 21:49 We're on, but one more thing. I should have a phone number in case I wipe out or something. I won't call except to say something has gone wrong; if you need discreet you don't want my number on your phone bill unless it's necessary. Her straightforward answer: Date: Mon, 22 Dec 2008 21:52 i'm on my parents family plan, it's okay. [her number] In the meantime I replied to her lesbian relationship and face-picture message: Date: Mon, 22 Dec 2008 21:54 I don't mind if you're usually with women. That's lower-risk health-wise anyway. I like your face. She replied a moment later to my face compliment: Date: Mon, 22 Dec 2008 21:55 awesome. be here soon. looking forward to it I spent a few minutes grabbing things to bring along, and sent one final message before heading out the door: Date: Mon, 22 Dec 2008 22:00 OK. I'm ready to roll. Going to her place I had a "sex kit" all ready to go, with condoms, a dental dam, and mouth wash. I also tossed clean clothing into a bag because what I was sweaty from shoveling snow. I grabbed my camera bag and a blank data in case she was into photography. My car parked on level ground a couple of blocks from my house. I grabbed a shovel and carried it along too. I think I shoveled a little to get moving, but it definitely didn't take too long. I was on the road by about 10:10 pm. The car was pretty much buried in snow, so I shoveled the windows and hood clear. The drive down the hill to the main street was slippery, but no real problem. Once I got to the main street, it was easy going. The freeway was all clear. The biggest problem was that the windshield got a bit splattered with filth, and the wash sprayer was blocked by snow that I hadn't cleared. It didn't get too awful though. The hard part was when I got to her neighborhood. The GPS address was a bit ambiguous because the streets were somewhat diagonal, so I had to guess where the place was. First I first parked at an apartment building with a really icy lot (fortunately, tough to get in, easy to get out); it turned out to be the wrong place so I walked around. I found the right place about a block away. I didn't want to stay parked in the wrong-apartment lot, so I drove around a little looking for a good spot. There was nothing around except a small office building with a "no parking 24 hours" sign above the almost-empty parking lot. I pulled in anyway, and as I stopped some guy came out and shouted down that I had better be out before first thing in the morning. I shouted back thanks. I took that as a sign that they likely weren't going to call for a tow in the night. I grabbed all my stuff, except for the shovel and camera bag, which were locked safely in the trunk. I figured if she was into the camera thing I could go back for it. If she wasn't, it might make her nervous. It was a large apartment complex, but I found her building quickly enough. At about 11:10 pm, I climbed the stairs and knocked on the door. Meeting and foreplay She opened the door, wearing an odd-looking dress that showed a hint of cleavage and a lot of thigh. After a moment I realized that it wasn't a dress, it was a large towel. She didn't want to waste much time, I guess. I introduced myself, as if anyone else was going to knock on her door late at night when half the city was paralyzed by snow and fear of snow. She invited me in. I saw that she had cats, and petted them. They seemed friendly, and being nice to them calmed my nerves. It may have also helped reassure her that she hadn't invited anyone scary into her apartment, but she really didn't seem very worried about that. We had a little small talk, and she showed me around her apartment, apologizing for the move-in mess and the chilly air; the temperature seemed nice to me. She said that this was her first Craigslist date; I said it was the first of mine that went past the point of meeting in public. She asked whether I liked lights on or off; I said "on" without hesitation. Although I had hinted that I wasn't a big fan of sexual accessories, I told her that I had forgotten to mention my one kink: I like to take pictures. She didn't care for that idea, and I said that she could keep the data chip if that was the problem, and she said she'd consider it. I told her that I was sweaty from shoveling snow, and asked whether it would be OK if I showered first, unless she liked it sweaty. She said that a shower would be fine. I undressed, leaving coat, clothes, sex kit, and the fresh clothes on the bathroom floor. I asked if she wanted to join me, and she agreed, and took off the towel. She stepped into the tub-with-shower first, to turn on the water. She asked whether the water was right for me, and we tinkered with it for a little while; she wasn't very familiar with the shower control because she was new to the place. We traded places in the tub, brushing against each other in several places, and I went from semi-hard to fully stiff. She commented that she wasn't used to erotic showers with "skinny guys". I washed my body and hair, using her soap and shampoo. I unconsciously continued washing myself after I was already clean. When I realized that, I said something like, "I'm clean now. I think that was just nervous washing." She smiled, but I don't remember her reply. I handed her the soap, and said that she could finish washing me. She looked at me, puzzled. I looked down. She got my point, looked embarrassed, and stroked me a little with soapy hands. She apologized for inexperience with male anatomy; I reassured her that she was doing just fine. We embraced before turning off the shower and getting out. We dried off and headed back to the bed. My legs were sore from shoveling snow, and I asked whether she would mind massaging them. She said she wasn't very good at massage, but didn't mind trying. She wasn't very good at it, but it felt nice anyway. We rearranged on the bed and talked for a while. She said that she and her girlfriend had been together about a year, and that they were open, but only with prior permission. In spite of the agreement, the girlfriend was sometimes jealous, and she hadn't asked for permission to be with me. The girlfriend was snowbound at a woman co-worker's house, and hoped for more than just a place to stay; they traded text messages several times about the girlfriend's too-shy efforts at seduction. It seems I was getting a close-up view of lesbian drama. She had a pretty cool phone, with a full keyboard. I commented on it, and she said it took pretty good pictures too. We talked a little about cameras, but I didn't really try to bring up the idea of taking pictures of her again. She said that she had used her phone for the pictures she had sent me; they weren't bad for a phone camera, although the lighting wasn't great on the spread-legs shot. When she was done trading text-messages, we discussed what do do next. I asked whether there were any special positions she liked. She blushed, apologized for being boring, and said missionary. She asked whether there was anything I liked, and I suggested her on top, and maybe on a chair. She hadn't been on top much, and had never tried on a chair, and thought it would be fun to try. She said that she had found doggy unworkable for her. But first, we kissed for a while, open-mouthed but not too sloppy. I rubbed her nipples with my thumbs in a way that seemed perfectly ordinary to me, and she went wild at it. Either I'm fantastic at breast play and didn't know it, or she's been terribly deprived. She fell back onto a stack of pillows, relaxed, and enjoyed it for a while. Then she reached for me, stroking gently, but still distracted by the touching. I pointed out that her other hand was free, and she put it between her legs, inviting me to watch. She must have been right on the edge, because it took only a moment. I didn't stop though; she continued to enjoy it. At some point she said how lucky she was to be multi-orgasmic. Eventually, she decided it was time for more than just hands. She offered me a choice of two types of condoms of the same brand, explaining that they were the only latex that didn't give her trouble. I forget which kind I tried. I unwrapped it, looked carefully to make sure I put it on right, and rolled it on. We decided to start her best way. Round one We adjusted ourselves on the bed, she spread her legs wide, and I took a good, admiring look at her. She had her hair trimmed short, even shorter than the hair on her head, but not shaved. I complimented that, and said that I like to see where I'm going, but don't care for totally shaved. I lowered myself onto her, found the aim, and slid inside. Between the condom lubricant and her wetness, I got in all the way in a single stroke. We kissed more while I thrust, in and out. She rocked and squirmed so that I wasn't doing all the work. She reacted like I was fantastic; again, either I'm much better than I knew, or she's been deprived. I enjoyed it took, and went slowly to enjoy more of it, and so she could enjoy more of me. She said that her G-spot was really easy to find, and that I was definitely taking care of it. She wanted to indulge me by being on top, so we rearranged. She climbed on, asked how to arrange herself, and seemed worried about bending me the wrong way. I reassured her, and she lowered herself onto me. It felt great. She asked what to do next, and I said she could just rock slightly back and forth. She did, and apparently found the G-spot again, possibly even better than before. Then it slipped out. We adjusted, but couldn't quite get the positioning right. There was a chair near the bed, and I suggested we try that too. I sat down, leaning back a bit, and she climbed on. It felt good for me, but wasn't comfortable for her; she felt awkward on top like that, and the edges of the chair were digging into her legs. So we didn't stick with that for long. We went back to missionary again. She was amazed at how long I was lasting. I was a bit surprised at myself too. We continued that way for a while longer. Finally, either she said I could let go or I asked whether it was OK. I turned up the pace gradually. She really liked that. Her excitement added to mine, and soon I let go. She had a big look of accomplishment and satisfaction on her face. While I was pulsing inside her, she said, "oh! I felt that one." I kept thrusting, even after it was over. Finally, I decided it would be good to pull out, which was good timing, because although it still felt good in there, the condom was getting a bit loose. I got up and disposed of it, discussing the matter of removing the evidence. We relaxed on the bed again, and talked. I offered another round, but said I wouldn't be ready for more immediately. She said she understood "recharge" and didn't mind. I commented that I used the same word, even though I wasn't aware of that as a commonly-used expression. She told me some surprisingly personal stories. I shared some things too, although not as much. She seemed to enjoy having someone to listen almost as much as the sex. I won't repeat them here, both because they personally identify her and because they're her business. Round two After waiting quite a bit longer than necessary, I said we could go for another round. Although she enjoyed the conversation, she was enthusiastic for more. I worked on her nipples like before, with the same positive results. Her positive reply was all it really took to start hardening me up again, and touching her nipples took care of the rest, but she fondled me just in case. When the time was right, I put the other condom on, again taking care that it was on correctly. We didn't bother trying other positions on the second round. I climbed aboard again and put it it. Again, it went in easily. I relaxed low so I could continue the nipple play while thrusting. She went wild at that combination, particularly since I seemed to be hitting her G-spot again. I kept going for a while, then lost control of myself. I said something like, "oops, that caught me by surprise!" She seemed pleased with herself, and said that's the best kind. I kept going for a while, though not too long, to avoid a loose condom incident. After I disposed of the condom, we went back to talking. A third round would have been nice, and more in the morning would have been wonderful, but she was getting too tired for more that night, and morning would risk a tow. So, I dressed in the clean clothes, talking more, until it was time to leave. We kissed each other goodnight, both praising the other's performance enthusiastically. Afterwards I walked back to my car, tried to back out, and got stuck on a ridge of packed snow between the lot and the street. But it only took about ten minutes to shovel myself loose. The drive home went smoothly, and I even managed to get through my slippery neighborhood street easily enough, and back to my usual safe snow parking spot. When I got home, I let her know I made it home without too much trouble: Date: Tue, 23 Dec 2008 03:53 I made it home just fine. I had to shovel a little to get out of the [illegal parking next door] parking lot, but it didn't take long. Thanks again for a lot of fun! I enjoyed the sex, of course, but the human time together was nice too. It was fun talking between and after. The next evening, she thanked me too: Date: Tue, 23 Dec 2008 18:56 it was! thanks for coming out on such short notice. I had more ideas with her, and a little apology: Date: Tue, 23 Dec 2008 20:04 You're welcome. I could say thanks for inviting me on such short notice. Typically, when meeting someone for the first time, there's at least a public meet-and-greet to make sure the other person doesn't give off a creepy vibe, and is attractive in the right way. But we skipped that. I'm glad it turned out pleasant for both of us. You mentioned [a sex club with an emphasis on kink], and joked around about sharing me with your partner. That led to the idea of checking out [a non-kinky sex club] as a party of three on Friday. I phoned the place this afternoon, and they said that the emphasis is on making the women feel comfortable, and that you could talk to them too, to get a feel for whether it sounds interesting. (I talked to a guy; he said that women typically talk to his wife, the co-boss.) It's anonymous, but younger people have to show at least the age part of their ID to attend. The three of us could play separately or together or some of each; if you don't find anyone else exciting there I'd be happy to make sure you get your share of the fun. Of course, it would depend on weather, your partner's interest, and absence of conflicting activities. If you need an excuse for how you got invited, we could probably work something out. (That reminds me: another piece of evidence of a visitor you might want to hide is the used towel.) Finally, I apologize for a breach of manners. I failed to offer you oral, even though I really like giving it. I've never tried it with protection, but I imagine that a barrier takes a lot of the fun out of it anyway. Still, I should have presented the idea. Unfortunately, she hasn't replied. I guess it's back to Craigslist. (Comment on this)
Monday, September 15th, 2008
7:56 am	two friends I have a couple of new friends, both from Craigslist ads. In both cases, I replied ads, praising the ads while also saying that I was not what the ad-writer was looking for, or she not what I was looking for. In one case, I replied an ad for a woman was way younger than I'd normally write to. She wrote a great ad, and I told her so, and said that I enjoyed it, and hoped it worked well for her. We traded a couple of message, then she disappeared for almost a week. Since that gap, we've traded several messages a day for about a month. We're friends. Maybe we'll be friends-with-benefits at some point, maybe not. But we're definitely friends, and that's really cool. In the other case, I didn't fit the description the ad sought, but again I thought the ad was cool, and said so. We traded messages for a couple of weeks, then lost contact due to technical difficulties, and are in contact again now. She wants to meet me, as a friend. We will, as soon as we can get the details resolved. (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 21st, 2008
2:17 pm	results of the pay-site question In my last message, I posted a copy of my Craigslist ad where I asked people about their results with pay sites. Here I'm posting the replies to that ad. I also tried posting it to Craigslist (it posted, but didn't show on the index page, so no one could see it), to a Craigstlist bulletin board, and e-mailed it to those who replied. Here are the replies I received (except for a few "please share your results" messages). I removed names and cleaned up spelling, grammar, and so forth, because this is my message and I don't want it to look like crap. I have paid for adultfriendfinder and well it doesn't work either. It's like a 1000-to-1 male-to-female ratio. LOL. Only good part was a the pics around the world. LOL. The bottom line is: 99.9% of the "w4m" ads in "casual encounters" are spammers trying to get you to join their pay-for dating sites, most all of which are bait-and-switch sites (as I'm sure you've found out) and are a total waste of time. If you want a FREE "dating" site, try plentyoffish.com . Yes, it's really free. I didn't have much luck on it, myself... but then that's just me. If you've read enough ads on Craigslist, you soon are able to figure out which ones are spam (just from the titles). Just avoid them -- they're a waste of time. They just want your credit card number. Best of luck on your search! I doubt anything linked from Craigslist ad-bots is worthwhile, but I've had great luck on AdultFriendFinder.com over the years. 'Great luck' in the sense that thousands of messages over 10 years has yielded about 50 real life adventures. Actually I met my wife there and we have adventures together now :) So the odds are a little slim, but you can make it up in volume! If you are really persistent, have an intelligent presentation and good photos, and mentally sort out the scams, there is gold in them there hills! I've met a handful of women and couples on Craigslist, in fact I have a coffee date with one later today. Happy hunting and good luck! I've joined a few and have gotten a few hits. Haven't got laid yet. I guess the money issue kind of pisses you off a bit but is actually not much worse than buying a girl a drink or two in a bar and hoping you get lucky. The ones, both Craigs List and the others have gals who expect to be showered with gifts and such before they come across. You may as well pony up $200 and get a pro. I have found that if it sounds too good to be true it normally is. I am a guy too. I am tired of all the fake ladies in craigs list. Are there any real ones? About to give up on the whole Craigslist thing. Maybe us guys should get together instead. I just wrote to two gals and got Yahoo auto responses that link to sex sites. Sigh. I am into sex and bdsm. If you know anyone interested, have them email or give me a call. I have never done a guy before but think it would be fun to dominate one. Why bother with pay sites when you are a woman and can have your pic of any of us guys out here?     [I knew someone would fail to read the note at the beginning.] Disregard last message. I misread your ad. Sorry. I've experienced this crap from every area within "relationships/romance" on Craigslist. Don't waste your time or money. The sites are all crap too! My buddy did hook up with a chick from Fling, but she was no winner in my book. I paid for a membership at a site, not recruited for by Craigs hags, it's called forplaymag.com and the folks are real. Sure most of the HOT chicks are part of a couple (NOT ALL), but who cares if you're just wanting to bone HOT chicks. I have managed to hook up with a nice, and nice looking, chick within 30 miles of home after 6 days on there. (Got to post a photo though.) I didn't at first and had no responses. An older woman in Portland contacted me, pointed out my error, and guess what? Yep, I drove all the way down there to thank her in person. (She was real and I was horned up looking-searching-dreaming about all this FAKE Craigslist shit!!!) she was almost a BBW, but better than bullshit on Craigslist!!! Anyway another site I'm getting hits on is webwatchers.com , but haven't gotten laid off there yet. If you hear of something better let me know, bro. I signed up for one of them once, and it is just a rip-off... Even on Craigslist, all I get is spam, and I don't know if there is actually a real person on here besides me :))) It is so bad that I wouldn't be surprised if you are spam too! I've been using the Internet for dating over the last few years. I've been on at least a dozen dates and I've met several women for just sex. I've looked over those sites and I've been a member of a couple of those off-brand websites. They're a total rip-off and they're using Craigslist to stay afloat, like a parasite. This is how those sites work. You sign up as a free member. Then you'll get dozens of emails from "women", but you can't respond to them until you've paid your dues. Then once you pay the emails will stop. Most of the female profiles on those sites are fake. In fact, I've heard some of these Off-Brand websites are outsourced to India. There, employees are paid to post fake profiles and send emails to non-paying members. There's a site called Sexsearch and that's what happened to me. Everything on that site was fake. This has been the only site that I paid for a membership. I learned my lesson from this site. I've been a member of other websites and somehow the system it's self will send emails from one member to another member (I can't remember those websites name). Like shadow emails. Each one of these sites has it's own method for trying to lure in paying members. The only sites you can remotely trust are AFF, Match, e-Harmony, and Plenty of Fish. These sites are so big that they don't really don't need to scam in paying members. Their large membership base and rep does the work for them. Still, there are far more men than women on these websites. I'm just replying because I am in the same boat as you, apparently, and thought your post was sort of funny (where you posted, mainly...) My experience has been very similar to yours, it sounds like. Craigslist earns you lots and lots of ads for free accounts with dating and 'fling' type sites. Those 'free' accounts send you lots and lots of emails and ads for signing up with their 'low' cost/basic package membership... which, after you sign up for, send you ads and emails for their higher cost/'premium' membership status. It's all the same results, for the most part, all the way up. You do meet more women online, and get more responses, if you pay money. however, it seems that there are far more men out there looking to get laid than women. Women can afford to be a little more picky -- so you end up with either women who already have dates/partners, or the women who, um, ... can't afford to be as picky. Honestly, I've had just about the same amount of luck as members on these sites as I have going out and meeting someone in a bar. (Choose the place carefully though.) And really, for all the time that you spend 'hunting' for that woman online -- emails, posts, pics, chat, etc. -- you're better off spending that time, investing that time really working on one chick that you meet in person somewhere. It takes more character, I think more energy, but I end up with similar results to online stuff anyways. But who am I to talk? Look where I am right now, hunting for a fling... on Craigslist. The only one worth a damn is Plenty of Fish. I have had two relationships off of the site and it is free. I'm a guy, also, and the way I do it is; I never pay for or give my credit card to any of those sites because they are just making money off innocent people with hopes of finding what they are looking for. You can meet and talk with women on bom.com for free, I mean actually free, no credit card or anything. Don't pay, that's for young people who get sucked in, there are several sites that are free, it just takes a while to find them. On Craigs List, if there is a web address in the ad, it's a waste of time. Good luck. I hope you find what you're looking for. I am a normal guy and adult friend finder is a good one to pay for. If you are an attractive guy you will have no problem getting laid there. My personal results: In about a month on Craigslist, I met one woman in person. It was a friend-date because we'd figured out that we weren't hookup or relationship material in the course of e-mail, but were good friend material. I have one friend-date planned, clearly sincere, but difficult to schedule. Although it's planned as a friend-date, she may have more in mind. I've also made a few e-mail friends who I suspect will remain e-mail friends, then disappear after a while. I had four "yes" replies to hookups that didn't happen -- two because I got bad vibes, one because the woman decided she didn't want to wait for me to drive to Seattle after someone else who lived closer replied, and one because I decided she was either a prostitute who hadn't yet named a price or the most insanely improbable hook-up ever. Before hearing about Craigslist personals, I met women elsewhere on the net, way back into the dark ages -- well back into the 1980s. I never had any luck with anything meant for dating, but I had a fair amount of luck with non-dating things related to other interests. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 12th, 2008
1:44 pm	an information-seeking Craigslist ad question about the pay sites ad-bots post all the time - w4m - 40 (Redmond-ish) Category: casual encounters Note: I'm a guy, posting here with a question about w4m casual encounters ads, so don't just auto-reply. Technically this message is probably flaggable, but I'd appreciate it if people didn't flag it, because it's meant to be useful to anyone here. As everyone who has answered more than about two ads is aware, most ads here are really pitches for pay-sites that claim to do the same thing Craigslist does. Since they charge for the same thing, presumably they want us to think they do something better. Before I found out that a free profile on those things was useless except as a source for lots of spams, I signed up for several of them. Has anyone actually signed up for a paid membership on any of those sites? If so, was there any point at all? Enough of a point to be worth the fee? Or just a total rip-off? If I get any interesting replies, I'll post them here. I'll also post to the bulletin boards if I figure out how to use them. (Comment on this)
Friday, August 8th, 2008
5:17 am	pay hook-up sites As I've written here, I've tried meeting people through Craigslist. Besides the one friend-lunch meeting I wrote about, I've made a number of other friends there who are so far online-only. In my first entry here, I mentioned that I had signed up for free accounts on a bunch of pay sites. I haven't paid for any of them. I'd like to know whether anyone has tried becoming a paying customer on any of the pay hook-up sites. I don't mean the relationship-type sites – I mean the ones meant for hook-ups and friends-with-benefits and affairs. Personally, I have had my doubts about them. The first bad sign is the fact that their advertising includes spamming Craigslist, to the point that Cragislist is far more spam than actual content. I have a fairly good feeling for how to recognize the slammers, but it was pretty irritating until then. If the pay sites were as good as they claim, why advertise by spamming? Also, it seems like word-of-mouth would fly everywhere if the sites were anywhere near as good as they claim – but I've seen nothing. One exception is a guy (who asked whether Craigslist ads were ever real) who said he had heard that the pay sites are mostly scams, but he hadn't tried any himself. (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 7th, 2008
11:38 pm	my first Craigslist date About ten days ago, I answered a somewhat strange ad on Craigslist, in women-for-men – strange in the sense that it didn't include the usual romance cliches. In any case, she was intrigued by my reply. We corresponded quite a lot. The conversations never showed clear signs whether we were going to be sex-friends, a relationship couple, or just friends. Yesterday, I finally made a concrete proposal to meet. Neither of us had felt ready to give out phone numbers, so all the discussion of meeting went through e-mail. It took about 30 e-mails to figure out where to meet. An additional complication was that she doesn't have a car, but didn't want to meet too close to where she lives. It had to be a safe public location within walking distance. She was hesitant about setting expectations too high, and I said that it was fine for it to be a friends-lunch, not a date. She remained somewhat hesitant, doubting her ability to think of it as a friends-lunch even if that was the understood plan. But she was still interested in meeting. In a strange detail that came from our odd conversations, we had decided that we were going to meet with nothing more than fairly fuzzy descriptions, and no pictures. To recognize each other, we described what we'd wear, and be sure to wear something distinctive enough that we wouldn't approach someone by mistake. The point was so that we'd each get a chance to see the other's reaction to first sight in person. Anyway, we agreed to meet at a book store. She got there first, and I wandered through about three-fourths of the place before I spotted her. The idea of seeing first-sight reactions didn't turn out as amusing as expected. The reactions were more along the lines of, "that's you, right?" than "wow, you're hot" or "I thought you said you were attractive." In any case, I thought she was reasonably attractive, which is roughly how she had described herself. My main surprise was her ethnic background, which I hadn't guessed from her description. We went to my car from the store, and she looked at me and concluded that she just didn't feel a relationship spark. She apologized for the time I had wasted driving all the way to meet her, but said there just wasn't much point in continuing the date if it wasn't going to go anywhere. I also didn't feel the spark. She was attractive enough, but something wasn't there. So she saved me the trouble of deciding to say something like that by saying it first. However, I didn't want to just call it quits right then. One thing that seemed pretty clear from our e-mail conversations was that we were at least good friend material. I countered with the point that a friends-lunch was the plan all along, and that we were both really hungry, so we might as well have the friends-lunch. She agreed, so we looked over a restaurant list I had printed before I left home. She was very indecisive, so I hinted at a favorite, which she decided was satisfactory. We drove to the place, which was – as promised by reviews – in a faceless strip mall near a grocery store. Inside, it looked really nice, and the hostess was very friendly and showed us to a table. Looking over the menu, I found something that looked good pretty quickly. She saw something tempting right away, but was indecisive again about whether to go for that or consider everything else on the menu. Eventually she went along with her first thought. We also added an appetizer. The conversation was great. It was almost completely different from our e-mail conversations. In e-mail, we had mostly teased each other with hints of secrets to be revealed, guessing games (like the vague-description-only first meeting), and more. In person, we were full of revelations and straight answers to deep questions. The food was really good too – as promised by reviews, it was great food in a surprising setting. It was slightly more expensive than typical for that type of place. She felt bad about that, because her share of the bill would be hard on her budget. I had said in conversation that I was doing just fine, and reminded her of it, offering to cover the full bill, without any implication that it was suddenly something other than a friends-lunch. Anyway, the lunch and conversation ran close to three hours. The only real dead spot in the conversation was when I stumbled through telling her something embarrassing – which she accepted far more graciously than I would have expected when I finally said it. After lunch, we stopped into the grocery store. Without a car, it was convenient for her to get a chance, and I needed a few things too. While we were wandering around, she commented further on my embarrassing statement, in a very complimentary way that really surprised me. She remained hesitant to reveal where she lived, and suggested returning to the book store. She had said how far it was from where she lived, and I suggested that it might be better to let her out at some place close enough to be a quicker walk, but far enough to protect her privacy. She agreed, particularly since she had groceries to carry. On the way out of the parking lot, I asked a question about something she had mentioned in e-mail. She had said that she told friends about her plan to meet me. I asked whether that was out of the excitement of meeting, or so her friends would know where to start the search if she disappeared. She laughed quite a lot at that. I had made claims of a clever sense of humor in e-mail, but our conversation had been mostly serious, so she hadn't encountered much funny with me. But my dumb little joke really worked. It must have been in the delivery, because it doesn't seem funny the way I'm telling about it now. In any case, she had just told them about the meeting as something that slipped out in conversation, rather than a thought-out plan. Once it slipped out, she told them more. She did agree with the gist of my joke, however, in saying that it was a good idea for someone to know where she would be. We continued talking on the drive back to her general area, and pulled onto a side street to wind down the conversation. We discussed whether to meet again or be strictly e-mail friends, without a definitive answer. We said goodbye with a handshake. It was a fantastic friend-lunch. In a bit of epilogue, I was only barely on the road when I realized that I couldn't remember having paid a tip. I detoured back to the restaurant, went inside, saw the very nice waitress, and asked whether I had remembered. She said I had, and seemed grateful that I had thought to ask well after leaving. I was relieved. The drive home was pleasant. I was in a good mood, and didn't feel the traffic. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 6th, 2008
4:30 am	I posted my first Craigslist ad. I finally posted an ad on Craigslist for one of my personal desires – as might be guessed from the fantasy story I posted last time. It took me a while to decide whether to post it in "strictly platonic" (because of the no-touching aspect) or "casual encounters" (because I'd like to do more-racy pictures, and that's likely a more-receptive audience). I eventually decided on "strictly platonic" because the ad volume is not such a flood, and the I wouldn't have to repost the ad so much to keep it visible. One thing that came out wrong in the ad was the age. It's supposed to say "40s", not "40". But I doubt anyone will care too much. I photograph you. You keep all copies. No touching. - m4w - 40 (Redmond) Category: strictly platonic I am an experienced hobby photographer, so I know how to avoid problems like red-eye, unflattering shadows, bad focus, background clutter, and so forth. I have decent equipment. I don't have a lot of experience specifically with portraits, but I want practice. I'd like to photograph women -- anything from fully-clothed portraits to as racy as you like. I understand that most people don't want pictures of themselves floating around in the wild. To reassure you that it's safe, I can use your own camera (though it might limit the quality of the pictures) or I can let you erase the data chip after making copies of the pictures for yourself, then copy a bunch of junk data onto the so there's nothing left to "undelete" -- or even give you the data chip. What's in it for you? You get good quality pictures of yourself. Maybe great pictures if we're lucky. You can print them for friends, e-mail them when answering Craigslist ads, use them in your own ads, thrill your partner, or just enjoy seeing yourself looking good. You get the fun of feeling of being a model. What's in it for me? I improve my photography skills. If you want racy pictures, I get to see you posing for racy pictures. This is my first Craigslist ad. I've been told that ads generate floods of spam. To cut through the spam, start your message subject with "Real Human". I'll ignore anything that looks like an invitation to join a pay site. I had no idea whether I'll get zero real-human replies or a flood of them. If I get a flood, I'll cancel the ad and answer all the real-human replies, even if can't say more than "sorry, I'm overwhelmed". If I get just a few, I'll answer all, and try to work out when to do it. If I get none at all, I suppose I'll rewrite the ad and try again. What would I like best? - If you're beautiful, it will be more fun for me. If you're ordinary, I'll probably still enjoy it. If you're an artistic challenge, maybe I'll learn something. Describe yourself or send a picture if you think I'll like that. - If you want pictures on the racy end of the scale, it will be more fun for me. - If you want to fool around with me, I'll have to decline; I am in an exclusive relationship. Again: You keep all copies. No touching. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 3rd, 2008
12:26 am	photo shoot Author's note:   I initially wrote this as a favor for a friend, who wanted some spicy fiction to help her fantasize. At first I drafted it in first-and-second person narration, but that style always runs the risk of the reader thinking "I wouldn't do that." I didn't want a stylistic detail like that to spoil it for my friend, so I recast it into third person, with anonymous characters. I also avoided the mechanical details of the sex, because leaving out a favored act disappoints the reader, and including a disfavored act breaks the mood. Instead I concentrate on the seduction, leaving the sex itself to the reader's imagination. I further revised it here for the sake of a general audience. Her man hasn't been very interested in sex lately, but sometimes looking at soft-core porn helps get him into the mood. But he's a prude, and feels guilty about looking at pictures of other women -- and sometimes the guilt makes matters worse than the turn-on helps. She concludes that some soft-core pictures of her might help get him into the mood, without risking the mood-breaking guilt. At first, she tries taking the pictures herself, with mirrors and the self-timer, but the results just aren't very good. She isn't able to concentrate on both working the camera and maintaining an erotic pose at the same time. She needs someone else to take the pictures. She finds a man who is a hobby photographer, well equipped with camera equipment, and interested in taking erotic pictures. He insists on strict look-but-not-touch terms, because he's attached too, and has no interest in cheating. She makes plans to meet him at a coffee shop, where they can check each other out until they both feel safe. Her biggest concern is that she has sole control of the pictures after they're taken. He says that he can use her camera, but the results will be better if he uses his own equipment, and give her the data chip when the the photography session is finished. The only pictures he will take with him are those in his mind, which are the reason he likes that sort of photography. He reassures her that if she gets shy anywhere along the way, they can stop, with no hard feelings. He's polite and she's satisfied that it will be safe, so they go to her home. They start with some simple fully-clothed portraits, to get comfortable with each other as model and photographer. She leave the room to change into a sexy dress, and returns for some still-clothed but sexier pictures. They take a break from the photography to preview the pictures on her computer. She likes what she sees. She knows she's attractive, but she's not used to seeing that in photographs. They laugh together at the shots that didn't come out as well, which helps her relax. By the time they've previewed the first set of pictures, she's ready for the next step, and changes again into some lacy lingerie. It's not her naughtiest, she still gets excited about seeing herself photographed in it. She's still shy, but the excitement warms her to the camera. Her poses improve, and the excitement overpowers her shyness. She gets turned on when she thinks about the photographer's reaction. He's turned on too, but tries to hide it; although he was clear that was why he wanted to take the pictures, he doesn't want to distract her that way. Still, she can tell. When they pause again to preview the lingerie pictures, she sits closer to him than necessary. The best of the pictures remind her of just how attractive she is. She knows she's ready for more. She takes off her top, shaking her breasts seductively. The photographer enjoys the view for a moment, then tries to be serious again. He points out that she has some pressure marks on her skin from the tight spots in the lingerie. They should wait for them to fade, he says, because they won't look flattering in the pictures. But since she had just put it on for the lingerie pictures, they should fade quickly. During the wait, she tries out poses, not so much to prepare for the pictures as to get him excited. She asks him to take off his shirt, saying it's only fair that way. That wasn't part of the deal at the coffee shop, but it's harmless enough, and he agrees. As they get back to start on the topless pictures, she decides that since she's going to do the full nude shots, she might as well take off her bottom too, in so they won't have to worry about the mark from her waistband. He has trouble concentrating on the photography at first, but she has a feel for the modeling that makes the photography easier. They both enjoy the fact that although the pictures in that series show only her upper body, they know she was already fully nude. Once he thinks they have enough pictures to be sure some turn out well, they move on to full-body pictures. He tries to guide her through art-nude poses, but she has trouble managing the innocent art-nude look. They move on to the soft-core pictures. She flirts a lot, which makes the pictures more exciting, but it's hard on his concentration, so he has to retake quite a lot of pictures. He's turned on, and can't hide it. She excuses herself for a moment, and returns with her favorite toy. She's so aroused that she hardly needs a toy, but she draws out the play with it, more for the photographer's reaction than to get the pictures. Finally, it's time to review pictures again. Rather dress again, or even put on a robe, she sits next to him, still naked. She sets the toy close to him, so he can smell the scent. While they look through the pictures, she makes sure they touch, pretending it's accidental. As they get to the hottest of the pictures, she's touching him intentionally -- and he's no longer drawing away. She starts to unzip his pants, and his look-but-not-touch intentions fail. During the photography, he had been guiding her. But with the photography finished, she knows what she wants to do. She takes charge, and has all sorts of things for him to do with her. Eventually, they collapse into exhaustion, embraced, not quite asleep or fully awake. Later, after the photographer has left, she reviews the pictures again. She's sure they'll be exciting for her man, but not nearly as exciting as they are for herself. (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 2nd, 2008
12:00 pm	Here goes! I've been playing with the online dating thing on Craigslist for a couple of weeks. I quickly discovered that most of the ads I answered weren't placed by real people at all. They were just copied to the Craigslist by for-pay dating sites, and to communicate with the person who supposedly placed the Craigslist ad, I'd have to follow her to the pay site. The replies teasing me to the pay sites said it would be OK to sign up as a free user, but as a free user I wouldn't be able to make any contact with anyone, except to "wink" on some of them. A wink is a brief fixed message that doesn't really carry much information. So, I thought if I created a page Google could find, and included a Google logo on my user picture, maybe people would think to Google my user name, and find me here. If it works, I'll feel clever, getting back at the pay-site spammers who flood Craigslist with ads that are for pay sites, rather than for people. Here's a list of pay sites I've tried, as a free user: adultdate365.com adultfriendfinder.com amateurmatch.com fling.com hornymatches.com mate1.com true.com sexontheside.com sexsearchcom.com singlesnet.com xxxblackbook.com I'm also a free user on Sugardaddie.com, but I have been a paid user:     (secret)   http://www.sugardaddie.com link) I was quite pleased with my trial membership; I made a lot of contacts that look promising. I may pay for the full membership again in the future. These are free sites where I have user names:     (secret)   http://www.okcupid.com link)     (secret)   http://www.plentyoffish.com link)     discreteSteve   xrmyspace.com (link) Update (September 2009): As I just wrote, I'm now a paid "Gold" member on Adult Friend Finder. Maybe I'll be able to find some interesting people there. (Comment on this)