dmb last night   
04:26pm 06/09/2003
 
mood: weird
music: bend and not break- dashboard
hey...

yep...dave was last night, and it was soo fun...and i think i might be the only one who can say that and can also say that i didnt do anything (e.g. drink, smoke, u get the point..) i really did have a great time.

contrary to my thoughts before...i ended up meeting richie there...i was soo happy...esp. cuz he was the one i hung with the whole time, and i was having a blast (even tho he was high, hah) til i found out he was hiding something from me...

when i first walked up to him in the lot, he was like "yeh all i did was smoke a little bit..and im fine..." so i didnt thnk anything of it, i mean ive been with him before when he's smoked...so the concert went on, i was in his arms the entire night, and he seemed a little crazy, but not like outta control. then, jake comes up, and was like "yeh, richie, so how were they.." and i was like wtf? turns out he did shrooms. i dont know what to do, i mean do i have the right to be mad at him? but w/e, i got a little disappointed...and i let him know it. he kept apologizing and stuff until i finally forgave him..but im still really uneasy about the fact that he did that....and tried to hide it from me, and he knew i would probably get mad about it...otherwise, why would he hide it like that?

anyways...the reason i got mad, really isnt cuz im a bitchy like possesive gf...its just cuz, i dont know, i worry for him, and i dont want anything bad happening to him. i mean duh, smoking and doing shrooms once really wont hurt him that bad, but im scared that itll lead to more stuff...and ahh...im just afraid something will happen, or he'll become like obsessed...almost like how he was at the end of the school year last year...i felt like all he cared about was pot, and i was like last on his priority list. if that happens again, ill be pretty upset...

but there i go...getting carried away again. he said last night that he was really sorry, and he sounded pretty sincere....then again he was f!@#ed up...and he also said that he would probly never do it again...but i dont know if "probably" is good enough...

well im hanging out with him tonight...maybe we'll talk about it maybe not, but i hope so...cuz after the nitrus thing...ahh i just dont know...i know this wont change things between us...i just think its worth talking about....im gonna go have fun with him like i always do., just lying in his arms...its soo comforting....but i just want him to know how i feel about it.

alright, so yes...last night was sooo ahhh! fun!!! this morning i had soccer vs. cherry hill west and we KICKED @$$!!! it rocked...and i got a lot of playing time, and i knocked over this beastly obese girl, man that felt good.

church sucks...plain and simple...and im praying to god i dont have to go...haha, how ironic ;)


aww...i guess he really was sorry...look wat he put in his prof...your smile is the most genuine thing ive ever seen. i was so lost, but now i believe-dash...hes so sweet...the whole night last night, he must have told me he loved me about 100 times...and asked me to marry him about 20 times...god, how can i be mad at him, if whenever he does something to bad, i cant focus on that...i can only focus on the good...god i love him...



time to go...<3


til next time,
~andrea
 
     Post
 
time for change...   
01:37pm 28/08/2003
 
mood: lazy
music: sunday drive- the early november
hey..
alright, from reading my title, you may think that like im gonna pull something drastic...which is exactly what i want you to think. mwhahah. hahahh just kidding, nah, i just was thinkning, maybe i should start writing more often, since the time left in summer is quickly dwindling, and school will start soon, idk i just feel like i should write about more...you know, give my entries some more substance. the reason i would like to do this is so that someday and i read through this online journal, ill be able to remember each of these small events that took place..because contrary to what i may have complained before, i really do have a lot going on in my life, with my friends, with my family, with everything. and i feel like i should share it too. when i looked back on previous entries...all i really talk about is like how great the relationship is going with richie, and although thats important (to me at least..), i feel like i should record the other things that go on in my life. so here goes.

this morning i had soccer...and i think i did alright, but i wasnt really trying to impress anyone cuz mr keil, the varsity coach wasnt there. even if he was there, it wouldnt have really made a difference anyway, haha cuz theres no way in hell that ill make varsity..at least not before the start of the season..cuz defense is set..and i basically suck at any other position. o well, personally, i would rather have fun on jv (where i think ill start and play a decent amount, i no it sounds conceided, but i hope thats how it goes)

yeh, and so right now, im sitting, richies with jack, which is kinda my fault, cuz i said i was gonna hang out with my friends today so me n him could hang out tonight, but my friends arent doing anything, so im real bored...hah o well.

tonight! im talking to pat, and he says hes having a party!! im excited, cuz he said that his parents are leaving on the early side...haha actualyl in like less than an hour, and so that gives me time to have fun and sober up (if i do anything, that is..) and come home and not get caught. but i think im just gonna play it safe..and maybe have 2 or 3, just to get me in a good mood..or i might ----- but we'll see, its either or...not both, haha last time i did that, it was fun, but boy o boy, i was messed up.

yeh, so the other day, i had not an arguement, but more of a "discussion" with dane, about how we're not bff's anyore...and how we dont even hang out. i just got kinda bugged...cuz i know it wasnt like a fight, but its not like she makes the effort either, and some of the stuff she was saying was sorta pointing the finger at me...but we've sorta been hangingout more, which will probly help thinngs, and so will school. it pisses me off that she even brought it up...because u cant really determine things like that in the summer...summer changes everything, esp. cus she was at camp the whole summer basically, and for her to come back and be like, i dont think we're best friends anymore, we dont hang out..just kind of i dont know, makes me angry. but whatever...school should bring things back to norm. at least i hope so.

well how was that for writing about some of the things going on in my life eh? not so bad. well im gonna go, im excited for pats lil party tonigth :) ill be back later when i get home tonight to tell you how it was..and how i am ;) ....<3

til next time,
~andrea
 
     Post
 
oh how the time does fly...   
06:16pm 25/08/2003
 
mood: content
music: goodnight elisabeth- counting crows
hey..
whoa..what a rush. thats all that summer has been...soo fast, so fun, so hard to believe its over. man o man, i mean yeh, all i really did was stay in h-field and hung with my friends and richie, and no i didnt go to camp and make memories to last a lifetime...but i honestly can say i had a great time, despite the fact that i may have been bored a lot..but hey, id rather be bored in the summer than stressed from schoolwork and all that good stuff. i must say, i feel like many things have changed, my relationship with richie has become strong as anything, my friends, i hung out with ppl that i wouldnt normally during the school year, and just trying new stuff (no comment...) and on the flip side, ive gotten into some arguements and such, but things turned out in the end. but overall, i really did enjoy my summer.

school is in 8 days, and im dreading it more than anything. everytime i think of it..i get this awful knot in my stomach. summer has gone by so quick, it seems like yesterday was the last day of school and me n my buds were going to liz's to hang out cuz it was rainy and miserable out. aw man. those are the greatest, those times that ur just with those who mean the most to you, not doing anything special in particular..just..doing what friends do. its so hard to believe that yet another summer has gone by, and another school year awaits us...ugh...this sucks. jeez, i cant believe that we're gonna be sophomores this year...i know its only our second year in highschool and we still have 2 more to go, but idk, we're moving closer to college everyday, and i guess im scared. scared to leave everything that i know and love here in h-field...like that day at liz's...theres only a limited number of those kind of days left before we're off to face the world..and i dont wanna miss them for anything. man, i started out this entry talking about how great this summer was..and im getting all into we're gonna be leaving this town soon, god im such an add child.

anyways...this summer. yeh, the one thing that i can say really changed is the relationship that richie and i now have. it seems unbreakable, and we've become soo close. i realized how great of a person he is, and how i think i almost took him for granted during the school year, i mean yeh, i had feelings for him, but never realized how much he means to me, and how lost i would be without him by my side. hes a sense of comfort for me...someone i can talk to whenever about whatever, and he'll always listen, or at least pretend to..just to make me happy. ive never had that before. he is one thing, along with my friends, that i just cant bear to live without...and i never want to have to experience life without them..and this summer has really shown me how important he really is to me. well i better get going...ill be back sometime later this week...probly the night before, just for one, last, summer reflection...thanks for listening...<3

til next time,
~andrea
 
     Post
 
highlight of my summer   
01:54pm 13/07/2003
 
mood: loved
music: run around- blues traveler
hey..
as you know, i went to the shore with richie, and i had soooo much fun. it was really fun, we played mini golf, went to the beach, saw finding nemo, haha goood movie! and just hung out on the boardwalk. both nights we came back to the house and started watching a movie at like 12, so we didnt get to bed til around 2, haha. but it was such a fun time, i honestly thought that i would be sick of him after spending like 1 night, but i soo didnt, and then after we got home yesterday, we hung out last night! haha, but no one is really home, which kinda sucks.

we had some really great conversations when we were together, like he told me stuff that i never knew before, and we just talked about stupid stuff like school this year coming up, and the dances (haha! got dates for all of them now!) but i realized, that i dont know what i would do without him. like my life has changed so much, for the better, since we've been going out. i feel like i can tell him absolutely anything, even stuff that i cant talk about with my closest girl-friends (not girlfriends, but friends that are girls..) and spending that amount of time with him, showed me how important he is to me, and how much i really do love him. i can truthfully say that i dont know what i would do without him, and i dont even want to think abotu that. i can really see us going out for a really long time, maybe, if things stay as good as they are now, maybe most of high school. omg, and i just melted when he was talking to me, and all of the sudden was like "drea, i wish we were older.." and i asked why, and he said "because i would marry you." no one has ever said anything like that to me before, and to hear him say that, just made me feel soo good. i would love that more than anything to spend my life with him, and it might sound like stalkerish, or wierd, becasue im only 15 and too young to say this kind of stuff. but i dont know, with him, i feel..complete. im sure many people my age say this sort of stuff, and think that theyre really "in love," and people say that kids our age dont know what love really is. but i am certain i do, because if this isnt it, then i dont know what it is, because hwta we have is so strong. this isnt like a stupid crush that we only go out to h/u or w/e, its soooo much more that that, its completely indescribable..but all i know is that i need him more than anything, and hes the most important person in my life. and god forbid, if we did ever break up, i dont think that even then i would be able to get over him and move on to another person. because i feel like no matter what, ill only feel this way about him. but what do i know, im too young to feel this way, right?...<3

until next time,
~andrea
 
     Post
 
ouch   
10:00pm 07/07/2003
 
mood: sore
music: standard lines- dashboard confessional
hey..
just got back from the shore, along with some nasty sunpoisoning. ugh it was bad...i woke up this morning to go to the bathroom, went to the bathroom, stood up, and fainted. then i woke up like immediately, and leaned over the toilet for a few mins, unable to throw up, just stupid dry heaves...ugh theyre gross!!! and then i got up again, and fell back on my ass (which reaallllyyyy hurst now, i think i got a bruise) so then i got out of the bathroom finally, and broke into a cold sweat and layed on my bed for a little bit. it was gross, i thought i was gonna die!!! but fortunately, that was it for the heaving and fainting, haha. i came home, not feelin too good, and just sorta hung out, which was fine. the shore was really fun tho, we had this dipshit waitress who gave us oregeno when we asked for garlic...hahah that was great. and we went to the beach with kristen and rebecca that was fun too. we ALSO walked from 104th street to like 30th street in avalon...ugh took forever. alright, thats all i feel like saying, goodnight...<3

until next time,
~andrea
 
     Post
 
one day!   
09:35pm 02/07/2003
 
mood: excited
music: last call- mae
hey..
well, havent written for sorta a while. richie comes home from camp tomorrow!!! and ill tell ya, this has been like the longest 4 days!! he's been calling me every night just to say hey, and he says hes really bored, and cant wait to be home! yay i cant wait! well he told me that he would call as soon as he got in, however, i will be leaving for crew around the time he gets home. but im calling him the second i get out of the shower, cuz im hanging out with him def. tomorrow night..ahh! im soo excited to see him! it feels like forever since the last time i saw him, and it hasnt even been a week! god im helpless. o well, i dont care, cuz i really did miss him, and he said he really missed me, more than he expected he would actually, haha.

but, we're not gonna have long together, cuz sat. i go to the shore with awesome lizbop! and renee! ahh cant wait for thar either, thats gonna be soooooo fun. and i stay with them til monday, and then that week richies at the shore til next sunday..but im going down with him sometime next week. ehhh im kinda scared, cuz i think that he wants me to like sleepover at his shore house with his fam, and idk, i guess im just nervous, that could be kinda wierd. what if i like snore or something? ahh im gonn ahev to like shower and stuff and all like at HIS shore house...kinda nervous. o well...ahhh!! i cant wait to see him!!! im not gonna be able to concentrate at crew tomorrow, im just gonna be thinking about seeing him! well im leaving now, getting ready to go over emrobs to sleepover, WATER BALLOON FIGHT TOMORROW BABY!!!! hahaha its gonna be great, this summer rocks...<3

until next time,
~andrea
 
     Post
 
yeh way to call...   
10:01am 29/06/2003
 
mood: disappointed
music: the remedy- jason mraz
hey...
alright, so yeh i told u yesterday that richie and i were going to hang out cuz it was his last night home..whoa, no clue what happened to that plan. so he said he would call me later...never did. so i called him...no answer. alright, maybe hes out to dinner or something, who knows, like getting stuff for camp or something along those lines. so i called him again, no answer. ok dont freak out, hes not avoiding you, so i went to dans, in case he didnt call me, i wouldnt be stuck at home all night. so i called him like another 2 times that night, still no answer. i was like wtf..this was our last night to hang out! but i honestly doubt that he was deliberately trying to avoid me, and i highly doubt that he was out with ppl, cuz none of his friends are home!!! im sure he went out with his parents or something like that, shopping for clothes or something, and left his phone at home. either that or he just didnt have his phone with him altogether. im not really worried about it tho, cuz i truely think he had intentions to call me, just something came up or something, but i am kind of like upset, since i wont be seeing him until like thursday night, and even then, i might have something to do, and then friday or saturday i go down the shore with my friends, and those are like the only two days that hes home before he heads off on vacation. o well...im hoping i get a phone call today while im at my grandma's from him...im sure i will...i hope i do.. <3

until next time,
~andrea
 
     Post
 
hola   
06:21pm 28/06/2003
 
mood: energetic
music: hands down- dashboard confessional
hey hey...
nothing new, pretty much how its gonna go for a while. but today i went to d and q and bought sunglasses, and then i bought the new hp book...once i got home i sat oudside in my bikini and read hp...quite fine indeed. tomorrow richie leaves for camp for 5 days...wow, i've seen him everyday this summer, its gonna be wierd not seeing him, haha i sound soooo pathetic, like 5 days, big deal. but then he gets back the 3rd, goes to the shore with his fam the 6th til the 13th. and see it would be alright if i was gonna be home those three days in between, but i have a regatta the 4th, and then off to the shore with like liz and ppl. but he invited me to come down with him for like a day, so that should be fun, except idk if like im supposed to go and come home the same day? or like stay with a friend? or what, i hacve nooo clue, but w/e, we'll figure it out when the time comes. ahh im really excited acutally!! cuz i loooove the shore, and i loove being with him (we literally have the BEST time together, so the shore should make it even more fun, with the boardwalk and such..) but yeh..just like not being with him for like a week and a half or so, that could be wierd, but o well. well tonights our last night to hang out til like thurs..and im pretty sure we're hanging out, but i dont really know, haha...im gonna go get ready to go out! <3

until next time,
~andrea
 
     Post
 
yay for summer!   
08:56am 23/06/2003
 
mood: cheerful
music: open eyes- the early november
hey..
wow, its really been a while since the last time i wrote. but its summer! :) :) :) !!!! and so far, so good, except the weather the past few days has sucked major...but this whole week looks like its gonna be hot and sunny..which means ill be spending alot of my time at the pool or at richies swimming (shhh he doesnt know that..haha) so yeh...o yeh, im taking a break from drikning for a while. things are great between me and richie again, its just that i want to take a break for myself, because i honestly dont like how i get when im drunk, and then the next day am totally ashamed and embarassed about how i acted. so yeh, but crew starts todya for me, im a bit nervous, but it should be fun. and then soccer starts tomorrow...so much for a break!! hah well right now im waiting for richies call so we can go running (hes gotta get into shape for naval academy rowing camp, and i gotta help him get in shape, haha) and i was like o yeh! i have a journal that i havent written in like 4 years!! last night was relaxing kt showed up at my house and we watched that movie on abc fam, it was good. and then she left around 10, and i talked to beth online for like an hour and half...aww i love her, i never knew how much we have in common about like bf's and stuff, and we had a really great convo...im soooo glad i finally have someone who i know understands where im coming from!! and it seems like she knows and has been thru everything that im going thru right now, since her and ryan have been going out for like ever. its sooo nice to have someone to talk to that u know totally can relate to everything your going through. alright, well im gonna go get dressed..probly spending the day at the pool tanning!! haha wish me luck running (o yeh, i can def. tell how good of shape ive gotten in over just like 2 or 3 weeks of running, and i think i lost a few lbs too!)...<3

until next time (writing that, since i doubt ill write daily anymore..),
~andrea
 
     Read 1 - Post
 
1st day of finals   
04:51pm 17/06/2003
 
mood: working
music: crazy in love- beyonce & jay-z
hey...
alright lets get things straight...FINALS SUCK ASS!!! god i hate them...whoever invented this hairbrained idea should be shot. anyways...
DIXIE CHICKS LAST NIGHT ROCKED!!! it was soooooo freaking fun!!!! ahh i loved it, and i had a great time, regardless about how i felt earlier yesterday..i actually think going to that concert really made me feel better and totally took my mind off it...
today in school, like i said earlier, sucked, because it was like 20 degrees below zero in the stupid rooms, and it was finals..but at least we got out at like 12. yeh, me and richie seem to be moving somewhat towards "normality" or w/e, things should be fine, and right now, im too stressed about finals tomorrow to really worry about that subject...things will turn out, and everything will be alright..i was overreacting like usual...but w/e, i really gotta get back to studying...<3

until tomorrow,
~andrea
 
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of course..it was too good to be true   
04:35pm 16/06/2003
 
mood: morose
music: once youve loved somebody- dixie chicks
hi..
ugh..what a day wat a day. im so fucking stressed, so overwhelmed. ahhhhhh i hate this weekend, i hate this week!!! AHH..i wish i could just curl up in a ball and everything would just go away...no, dont worry, im not suicidal or anything crazy like that...richies still a bit upset..and it could be a little while "before things get back to normal.." he said he wasnt gonna dump me over this, but hes still like pissed off...and he said he loves me, and still needs me in his life...its just that hes really like annoyed me, and whatever hgappened in that closet "stays in there." things are awkward right now, and im talking to him now online, and he says that he'll talk to me right now, but he says he doesnt know otherwise..cuz the walk home today sucked...it truely did. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i feel sooooo horrrible, words cant even explain the huge amount regret and guilt and fear and every other bad emotion i feel right now.. but dixie chicks is tonight, even he said to have a great time and not to think about it with finals and everything. god...why does this shit have to happen 3 days before our 5 month anniversery... :( i dont want to spend it upset. this sucks ass...why did i have to be such an irresponsible idiot...i hate myself so much for doing that...but im gonna try my hardest to get my mind off it at dixie tonight...god, why the fuck arent i even a little bit excited! AHHH THIS SUCKS!!! w/e, bye...<3

****dixie chicks tonight!****

until tomorrow,
~andrea
 
     Post
 
-everythings fine-   
10:19am 15/06/2003
 
mood: cheerful
music: i'll take care of you- dixie chicks
hey...
alright, well last night i thought was going to be the night from hell...and half of it was. so we got dt..and guess who we ran into, joey richie aaron and pat. and before going out, i had had a not so good convo with richie and how he was mad at me. he said i was really bugging him and i didnt even want his help, blabala stuff ive already told you...and i dont feel like explaining myself again. anyways, so we got there, it was kinda awkward for me...and for some reason, me, renee and like the other ppl i was with ended up like hanging out with them the whole night. i got really upset tho...and i couldnt hold it in any longer..and i cried. i felt like the biggest loser, but honestly, i was truely scared that this stupid stupid mistkae i made would jeopordize what we have...and i honestly thought that there was no hope in sight, because he didnt even care when i was crying.

anyways, so it started to downpour, we were supposed to go to sarahs after going to rach's...but for some reason sarahs didnt work out. so here we are standing in front of rachels house, my eyes burning from the combination of crying and chlorine from earlier that day, and we're stuck without anything to do. like usual, small groups split off...and went ahead of everyone else...so we all basically were just walking down chews landing with nothing to do at all...and then joey said that the remainder of ppl who wanted to could go to his grandparents house (? i dont know, it was pretty random, they had like a family rec room in the back of the house where we hung out) alright, so ppl were drinking...and i felt pretty wierd cuz richie was there, and we werent even barely making eye contact. i wasnt drikning tho...i told him i would give up drinking if it meant not getting him pissed at me anymore...he didnt seem to care earlier. so...being bored as anything, and being the only sober person basically with kait..they decided to play spin the bottle...wahoo. so it was joeys turn, and everyone was being like 5 year olds, when they got someone, they would kiss them on the cheek? but anyways, he got me, and i said i wasnt playing...but then he had to open his big mouth (and thank god he did) and said "i have an idea, i wont kiss drea if she kisses richie.." god i was pretty embarassed and uncomfortable...but richie seemed to play along, but was like, not in front of all these ppl...so they forced us to go in this closet ( i know sounds super wierd..) to discuss things and resolve everything. there was an awkward silence for about 3 minutes, we talked and then he said he forgave me, he was even apologizing for having rachel over and being all like annoying with her on friday..which was wierd, he thought that I was mad? but everything turned out fine..and we decided to "kiss and make up" haha if u know what i mean...but yeh, so we stayed in that wierd, really small closet for a while, talking a little bit (it was kinda hard to have a real conversation cuz he was high) and everything is fine now..i mean if its not im gonna be pretty mad cuz we spent a while in that closet...and i know im gonna hear about what i did for weeks to come, cuz thats just the way he is..the grudge-holding type. but whatever, im sure i can live with that, as long as hes not mad. i can honestly say that i was really scared something horrible would happen, like we would get into a big fight or something. so when we came out of the closet, everyone was basically gone or leaving, so we decided to leave together and go to villa...and that was where my night ended...and i dont even care that we didnt walk home together or anything, i was just happy things were settled out...well now im going to g-mom's and possibly the beach! so this weekend ended on a better note than it started, and thank god...<3


*************TOMORROW IS DIXIE CHICKS!!!!!!!!!!!!****************

until tomorrow,
~andrea
 
     Post
 
-almost friday-   
05:28pm 12/06/2003
 
mood: productive
music: truth no. 2- dixie chicks
hey...
sorry i havent written in a while, been sorta busy, studying and all. alright, well i just got back from my longest run ever! haha it was like an hour and 15 mins, it was nuts. yeh ppl say im crazy for running so much, but i like it, it keeps me in shape, and since i have a low self esteem, hopefully enough of this will help to give me some confidence. ahh i hate it how i think so low of myself, its horrible..but honestly, i dont think im like good enough...ever. i dont know whats wrong with me, maybe its just a phase, and ill get over it eventually, i hope so, i dont like my self image...and i want that to change. well the reason i havent written too, is cuz nothing that eventful has occured. tests, studying for finals, u know, just closing up the year. but ehh, i dont know, this week was kinda wierd. richie's been acting, well, different. i dont know what it is, but he's been like so involved with like joey and his new bowl and how much he cant wait to smoke this weekend...i dont know, i feel like second best to all that, or maybe thats just me. he's been all like wierd this week, we honestly havent really had a real conversation at all, and i feel like the only reason he wants me there is so that he has someone to make fun of, which is basically all he's been doing. yeh, dont get me wrong, i love joking around and stuff, and i have a great time with him, but he doesnt know when to stop, and when to just not say anything. its getting on my nerves. i dont wanna bring it up, cuz he might take it offensively and be like what the hell are you talking about, if u feel that way then dont go out wiht me..blabla. but i have a feeling itll pass, cuz summer's almost here. well thats all i really feel like writing about right now, its so f'ing hot out, i cant stand it anymore! alright, back to lounging around/studying in my nice, cool, air-conditioned house...<3

*4 DAYS TIL DIXIE CHICKS!!!*

until tomorrow,
~andrea
 
     Post
 
-almost done!-   
05:16pm 09/06/2003
 
mood: exhausted
music: lil' jack sade- dixie chicks
hey...
long time no talk! or so it seems...but w/e. wahooo!!! 8 more days of school left, and boy o boy, i cant wait for it to be over!!! although my summer is jam-packed, im still pretty excited...ahh get this...i dont have one week off this entire, i repeat this WHOLE summer. but dont get me wrong, im still going out every night, and probly mostly everyday. this summer better rock...bout my weekend though, didnt get a chance to write about it...

saturday was fun, just hanging out at beths and watching tv...it was fun just like relaxing with them. hahahah and me and renee ran the freaking loop in the pouring rain!!! funniest thing, we were running towards the bridge, and we had three options: 1) take steps to bridge, 2) take paved pathway....3) take the hardcore dirt path. so us being all tough were like "yeh dirt path dirt path!" so we go the dirt path. bad idea. well, of course, i was the one to slip and completely fall in the stupid mud. ALL DOWN MY LEG!!! it got cut up and everything, but i didnt care, renee said i looked hardcore, so i was actually kinda proud of my fall. haha, well after our escapade, we went to mcdonalds, which totally defeats the purpose for running 4 freaking miles in the first place, but what are u gonna do. and saturday night i hung out at richies, we watched the grinch, lol, and played pool, which i almost won! haha, it was a fun night just hanging out with him. ehh, but elise likes him, and blatently told him that she did. even called him the other night to see if he was walking home, and they live in completely opposite directions. she claims that she wants things to be how they used to between her and him...and he said thats never gonna happen, cuz me and him will be going out for a while..i was so happy he said that :) but on the other hand so pissed off and confused why she doesnt understand that its over between she and him. he and i have been going out for almost 5 months now, sitll going strong, and you would think that she would get it that its over...and its pissing me off, and really getting me worried that she'll try something if one time im not there. but i trust him.

ahhhhhh i am so f'ing exhausted, cuz i went running with pat at wee hours of the morning!!! dont ask what i was thinking, but im crazy enough to be doing it again tomorrow morning....haha i dont learn from things i guess... well im gonna go eat din din, so i can get some sleep, tomrorow richies coming with us :) haha, ameteur, jk...<3

**ONE WEEK TIL DIXIE CHICKS!**

until tomorrow,
~andrea
 
     Post
 
-saturday!-   
10:46am 07/06/2003
 
mood: frustrated
music: i can love you better- dixie chicks
hey...
sry for not writing yesterday, it was quite hectic..but ill do a double entry, hah cuz im so cool maybe?

Friday
Alright, well today in school was sooo different than ever before...it was sunny out, and for some reason, i was happy to be at school, for the first time ever this entire year. i felt so free, like a huge wieght was just lifted from my shoulders...clifford was gone...and forever. i wasnt afraid to ask questions, i wasnt afraid to make a mistake, which is actually human believe it or not, contrary to what she may believe. ahh i loved it tho, it was so great, and mrs marchetta is the best...shes doing anything possible to help us bring our grades up to their full potential. props to her for taking on such a huge job and being able to do so much in such a short period of time, i mean finals are in two weeks...and then we're out of school for the summer. but i seriously dont dread going to science anymore, but rather like eager to do whatever possible to bring up my grade. this is definately the highlight of my year.

well...i gave in. my parents won. i am now enrolled in the bachelors barge rowing club for 8 weeks of the summer. shit. how the hell did i give in to that?!?! there goes my summer, right out the freaking window. i was soo looking forward to just like having nothing to worry about, because soccer basically ran my summer last year, and that made it seem like it was like cut short having soccer every morning. but this rowing thing i guess is different. because its like supposed to be 5 days a week, 3 hours a day, 8 weeks of the summer...but i can only go to practice 3 days a week, and maybe only about 6 weeks because of finals, and because i go on vacation with my fam. so i guess its not that bad...and plus its from 3:30 to 6 or something, which is the time where nothing really happens...and ill be home in time to go out that night. and then i have tuesdays and thursdays off...cuz i have summer league soccer at night, and then i have the weekend......i guess i should stop complaining, and just wait it out, i mean the whole experience will be good..i guess? i get to meet new people, and stuff like that, and the coaches will see how dedicated i am, and all that good stuff. i mean cuz i am really considering staying with this sport and maybe even continuing through college. but im only a freshman, and that all could change, but it never hurts to think ahead...

alright, well my night was bittersweet. i was forcerd to go out to dinner with my family, where i think the panzarotti i ate made me sick. and then i called renee and beth and stuff, but they were at emcofs, and she "couldnt have anymore ppl over" (ill explain the " "'s later..) so i was like, alright, well call me if u guys leave or w/e, but it was nice that they called and stuff, since they said they would...but i was kinda, idk, because friday was my night out with my friends, and well, i didnt really spend it with the ppl that i would have liked to most. i was stuck with you know who, the one who i swore to myself i wouldnt be...and kait, dont get me wrong, i love kait, shes my bff!! but like i would rather her and i not be with them, and be with like with those other ppl and with beth and renee, because renee is my bff too, but we like dont hang out...its wierd...and i dont wanna grow apart from her like i have with kat...and dana, i dont understand how she criticized me for "not balancing my time between my friends and boyfriend" yet doesnt even hang out with me, so how is she really affected by my incompetant balancing skills? w/e.. so anyway, i got back from dinner, called kt, cuz i knew i couldnt go to em's, and she was with julia, emily r, and martha...sooo i met up with them, we all stood around for like 15 mins, and then emrob and julia and martha left for emilys...i thought she coulndt have anymore ppl over??? and they just left, like them three, and i know that it was cuz "she" was there, and em didnt wanna have to deal with that, but how come i wasnt allowed to come earlier...does she not like me like she doesnt like her?? :( im sick of this, and im starting to think that the reason i dont hang out with those ppl is cuz they dont like me like they dont like her....before i thought that they didnt want kt to come, and if i was with her, i couldnt come either..but now i think that list of ppl they dont like includes me too...i mean what else could it be? ive run out of excuses.

alright, so me, kt, rachel, and kait were like alirghty then, what should we do? we walked around and stuff, playing phone tag with the guys, and we were gonna meet up with them, but that never happened, so we went to rachels, and layed on the trampline just talking, kt left at like 930, so that was cool. but rach's was surprisingly fun, just me kat and rach, talking about stuff...i like times like that...even though it wasnt like eventful, it was still fun, and i cant say i regret going there....but im going for a run in the rain with renee (hahahahh 3 r's!) ...<3


*9 days til dixie chicks*


unitl tomorrow,
~andrea
 
     Post
 
-almost done...-   
06:10pm 05/06/2003
 
mood: ditzy
music: dont waste your heart- dixie chicks
hey..
yes, today is thursday, and in two weeks exactly, we will be done with school..but today, well today was quite interesting..

Events of Thursday
- CLIFFDAWG= gone forever!!! wahoo!!! mrs. marchetta has taken over, and is ready and willing to give us the oppurtunity to earn back all those points lost during the bitch's rule... this kicks ass! this means ill get an A and i am now somewhat motivated to take accelerated bio next year...i feel like i need to take it, or else if i dont, i know ill kick myself for it later..
- yes, its true. i cried because i broke a beaker in bibeau's study hall today. dont ask y i got so emotional, i never cry in school, and the one time this year i do, its over a freaking beaker...im such a loser.. bibeau was like, is there something building up inside of you, and i just responded with, "well, if we broke anything in clifford's class, she would chop our heads off...it was just an immediate reaction i guess..." and he replied with, "well, you dont have to worry about that anymore...shes gone." hahah i was the laughing stock of the study hall...ugh im such a loser!
- richie was noticably different today...which is understandable...god i hope evreything is okay...but hopefully he'll be back to normal tomorrow, but no more discussing that topic...
- dochney caught the ball today in gym! with sound effects and everything! hahahahahhahah he rocks my world
- ive been doing an awful lot of thinking about this gay rowing program my parents are begging me to do in the summer...part of me wants to since i have nothing else to do..but a part of me doesnt, because i dont wanna like grow a part from my friends and such...god theyre even getting to the point where theyre bribing me with a trip to tiffany's! god!!!
- went running with the "pros" hahah pat and kate...and surprisingly, it didnt seem as far as it does when im alone, and we walked quite a bit...but o well...

yeh well i think thats all that happened today, i definately feel like a major ditz, crying and such, and just other dumb things i did today...like thinking "blunk" was a word defining the past tense of "blink"...i honestly thougth that it existed, but i guess not....ill let u know if i hear anything else about that situation thingy...haha well i still have a lot of hw, but for some reason im just not stressing....<3

*11 DAYS TIL DIXIE CHICKS!*

until tomorrow,
~andrea
 
     Post
 
-cant ppl take a hint..-   
06:13pm 03/06/2003
 
mood: crappy
music: goodbye earl- dixie chicks
hey..
question of the day...cant ppl take a hint??? i know i would if ppl were trying to give me them..hah but watch..ppl are probly trying to, but me being oblivious to things like that i probly wouldnt get it, haha. actually i think i would, but o well, thats me, im taking about someone else. anyway, i want to hang out with my other friends, the ones who i actually have fun with, but i cant, because this certain someone is always on my back. its quite annoying, and im running out of ideas. im not the kind of person that can just be like "i dont wanna hang out with you, leave me alone." i physically cannot be mean to ppl or stand up for what i believe in, and that really hurts me, cuz im always stuck with the leftover ppl that no one else wants to hang out with, because the leftovers know that i wont be mean to them, so they flock to me...im like a freaking magnet, cuz these ppl get a hold of me, and just cling to me, and i cannot escape...it sucks majorly. well thats all i really wanted to say...except i dont feel well, but ill be going to school anyways...<3

*13 DAYS TIL DIXIE CHICKS!*

until tomorrow,
~andrea
 
     Post
 
-feeling artsy-   
10:27am 31/05/2003
 
mood: creative
music: top of the world- dixie chicks
hey...
hahah right now, i am cutting out words and phrases to tape up around my comp screen...ahh im such a loser, but i was feeling a burst of creativity, so i guess its something to do, cuz im bored anyway! AHHH!!! i woke up, at 8 oclock in the morning this mornign!! and i was sooo tired! i still am! so why arent i asleep??? i dont know, i was going to ask the same question...well i have nothing important to say, but i thought i would write anyway...but i gotta get ready to go to caitlin bertha's bday party (?) o well, dont have anything betyter to do on a yucky saturday afternoon from 1230 to 2....<3

until tomorrow,
~andrea
 
     Post
 
-finally friday-   
06:28pm 30/05/2003
 
mood: mellow
music: i'll be- edwin mccain
hey...
yay! its friday!! getting ready to go out, tonights my night with richie, and tomorrow im going out with everyone else. but ughhhhh this one person keeps bugging me and bugging me! i cant take it anymore!!! jesus god, but w/e, summer's almost here, so i dont have to put up with it anymore..well i have nothign else important to say, so ill talk to you tomorrow...<3

until tomorrow,
~andrea
 
     Post
 
-cant think of a title-   
06:01pm 29/05/2003
 
mood: giddy
music: so right- dmb
hey...
well, i just got home from the 2nd day of my new running routine!!! but ugh, i thought i was gonna collapse when i walked in the door!!!o well, thats what i deserve for trying to run like a marathon so i can keep in shape. im so afraid that now that crews over, i am gonna get out of shape and gain wieght, so that by summer ill be too embarassed to wear my new baithing suits! that would be a major bummer. highlight of my day:::: im having chinese for dinner!!! wahoo!!! thats exactly what i wanted!!! i was just sitting in science thinking to myself, boy o boy, would chinese food realyl hit the spot, i wish i was having that for dinner, and like magic, we're having it!!! this is great, and it totally made my day...becides the fact that richies not mad (stupid kid, guess who was the one apologizing...moi!) o well, and i have like NO HOMEWORK! on a scale of one to ten, ten being a lot of hw, 1 beiing like not a lot, i have about .5! why am i talking about this? o well, im gonna go eat my yummy dinner.....<3

until tomorrow,
~andrea
 
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