| It's not a "to do" list, it's a "to DOOM" list | ||||
| 04:45pm 05/11/2003 | ||||
 Your soul is bound to the Third Totem, Grandfather Thunder: The Raven. Grandfather Thunder appears as a flock of ultramarine ravens. He embodies reverence, leadership, honor, and inspiration. He is associated with the color ultramarine, the season of winter, and the element of water. His downfall is egocentrism. You are most compatible with Wolves and Owls. Which Animal Spirit Totem Are You? brought to you by Quizilla WTF leadership? Me?? But I love ravens, so *dances merrily until notices coworkers* I have a shitload of schoolwork to do. Projects, wordlists, grammar,... and testweek is here in a jiffy, so I'll be totally in trouble if I don't study tomorrow, and the whole weekend and... But then again I know something important will arrive (like Father's Day and stuff) and in the end I won't even open my books. And I haven't even found anything for my Papa yet. Quote: “Earth is the lunatic asylum of the solar system.” -Samual Parkes Cadman |
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blank| Whee, um, I mean hello? | ||||
| 11:36am 02/11/2003 | ||||
What if I'd just draw a cute bunny in all my essays and hand them back? I'd get my first Fs ever. But aint it cute? (\_/) (o.o) ((")(") My sister baked buns and the whole house smells so good it's killing me. It sucks to be allergic. There is this huge pile of absolutely delicious little buns just waiting in the kitchen and if I eat even one of them, I'll be so sick it's not even funny. Well, I still have some lemon curd left. I wonder if it goes well with rice cakes? I'm so insane today. No control over my body. I think that is why this http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/Northeast/10/31/crime.girls.reut/index.html amused me. Okay, Levyraati starts soon and I still need to read some Deutsch words. If you are having trouble with grammar (English), try this http://www.slashaholics.org/thamiris/slash/Grammar.html. Oh and it's not for little kids, deal. Another shamelessly stolen quote: “I am a sarcastic, cynical, bitter and twisted Xenite dyke computer geek with no life, five computers and an attitude problem. If you don't like it, go find someone to talk to who won't upset you by having a brain.” -? |
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crazy| "I need you. I don't know why but every now and then in my life, for no reason at all, I need you." | ||||
| 10:21am 01/11/2003 | ||||
My computer has a virus. Well, four Swen As, to be exact. /And I can't get them out!/ My Norman can't kick them out and Ad-aware goes into a big knot every time it gets even close to the damn things. And I haven't yet found them manually. I'm so angry at myself and my good-for-nothing firewall. I made some lemon curd today. OMG it's so good (and has so many calories). Hmm we still have some lemons left. What should I do? Yeah, I'm focusing on totally inane stuff, so that I wouldn't have the time to do my schoolwork and other important stuff. I know I'm lame. Halloween went by. I was just at home doing absolutely nothing (okay, math homework, to be precise) and enjoyed having some time for myself. It seems I didn't fuck up my German test and essay as bad as I thought. I got 21-/24 from the test and teacher said the essays went well. That's good, because I needed some cheering up. Oh god, save me. My mother is listening to Sävelradio and they are going through requested songs. I just can't take any more Kari Tapio. (My mother doesn't like him either, but still refuses to change the channel). *Finds Heavens Door from her media files* Ah, much better. My brother is insisting on me getting Devil May Cry, so he could play it. Is anyone of you a proud owner of Devil May Cry? And would be willing to depart from it for a couple of days, weeks, dunno? Quote: "We are, each of us angels with one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another." -Lucian de Crescenzo I'm feeling so numb and idioticly romantic right now, so please forgive the sappy quote. "Sun down across the plain, I've bee sore before I'll be sore again... ...Know the best that we could hope for is to be laughin' When we finally hit the ground." The Refreshments:"Sin Nombre" |
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numb| I forgot | |||
| 04:27pm 28/10/2003 | |||
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Quote:"Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off." -? |
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| 03:51pm 28/10/2003 | ||||
Should go write my essay or whatever about polygamy, but I honestly don't feel like doing anything. So I'll just roam around before starting my own private people harassing, that is start working for my livelyhood. |
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surprised| “I don’t use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough.” | ||||
| 06:30pm 25/10/2003 | ||||
My sister had her gymnastics competition today. And her team won! I'm so proud of her. Now she is walking around the house with her medal on and being proud as she can be. But I really understand her. She moved to her new team just three months ago, and this was there first competition. And they won 17 other teams, including two from Lahjan Tytöt. Though I'm not that good in sports, doesn't mean I wouldn't appreciate those who are skilled in doing goals or turning somersaults. And while I'm ranting about my siblings, I might as well add a warning to all thee, who are considering becoming teachers. My brother has this German teacher, who (according to my brother) looks really old. They tried to guess her age. My ever-so-polite brother guessed 42 and one of his friend 53. Turns out she was 26. o.O Poor thing. I bet she went home crying that day. I'm sad to hear your coffee didn't go well Gabby and Wildy. I so have a brain damage. Been going through Japanese bands. I want proof they really are 1 male and 2 really that thin. Because I'm a girl and definetly not a fat one and I know I'd look like an Ultrasaur next to them. Okay. Last thing. http://www.spinfrog.com/blueorb/ I've been thinking about the same question for some time. Must go now. Really. To do something useful or maybe something violent. Dunno. I'm babbling, ignore. Quotes: The Earth is an object lesson for the apprentice gods. “If you really screw up,” they get told, “you’ll make something like Earth.” -Contact, Carl Sagan |
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cynical| Asking for help, praying on corners. | ||||
| 07:33pm 19/10/2003 | ||||
Quote:When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults and they enter society, one of the politer names of hell. That is why we dread children, even if we love them. They show us the state of our decay. -? |
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worried| Suicide is telling God: "YOU CAN'T FIRE ME, I QUIT!!" | ||||
| 10:31am 18/10/2003 | ||||
Okay, I've been doing absolutely nothing. Well except for some homework and baking and cleaning. But all my projects are still waiting untouched. Should start writing them, but feel kinda drained. I'm updating my Windows and some programs. With a modem. Meaning everything sucks. To compare the speed to a retarded snail would be an insult. To the snail I mean. And why can't I find info on what version of Media Player I currently have? And why do Americans write dates in a funny order (month before date)? It makes life difficult.  You are Form 9, Vampire: The Undying. "And The Vampire was all that remained on the blood drowned creation. She attempted to regrow life from the dead. But as she was about to give the breath of life, she was consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the cycle began again." Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek) and Isis (Egyptian). The Vampire is associated with the concept of death, the number 9, and the element of fire. Her sign is the eclipsed moon. As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic individual. You may be a little idealistic, but you are very grounded and down to earth. You realize that not everything lasts, but you savor every minute of the good times. While you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you have strong ties with people that will never be broken. Vampires are the best friends to have because they are sensible. Which Mythological Form Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Sensible? XD  You are a Day Dreamer.. Daydreamers tend to be away from the normal, and have a deeper aspect when looking at things. Most of the time, thier outcasts of the social society, but don't worry. It just means your so deep it scares thier simple little brains. What kind of Dreamer are you? brought to you by Quizilla Oh, and if someone likes a book tip (there is a word in Finnish, kirjavinkkaus, but I really don't know a suitable one in English, so...) try Weis&Hickman and their Blacksword- series. *checks how the updating is going and screams* 20 minutes, 20 /minutes/!! But on the good side, one of the fics I'm reading was updated! I like the story (the one set in ancient Rome, GW) and the milieu. And some blood, violence and Duo cussing is fine by me. And when watching TV yesterday, I saw the new musicvideo from Apocalyptica and the 69 Eyes Betty Blue. It made me so happy. I'm so pathetic sometimes. Edit: Most of the time. Quotes: Today, three for the price of one. To make some people happy (and some miserable) “When not accompanied by violence, sodomy should not fall under the sway of criminal law, for it does not violate the right of any man.” -Voltaire Incidentally, a partial listing of gays in the military includes Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Mark Antony, Augustus Caesar, and Richard the Lionhearted, none of whom did all that badly. -? By nature all human beings are psychically bisexual - capable of loving a person of either sex. -American Medicine, 1914 I *love* Voltaire. |
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okay| "I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds..." | ||||
| 05:08pm 12/10/2003 | ||||
Yeah, I was working yesterday also. 6 hours on a Saturday is a bit much, when thinking I have school and another job and housework on the side. In the evening I went to a party. It was my first in maybe a year. I don't like partying too much, because there is no real chance to talk (I don't mean mindless gossiping, but real talk about how you really are/feel). And too many people+ too loud music =not nice. But it was Essi's birthday and I hadn't seen her in several months, so I *had* to go. It wasn't that terrible (the place was beautifully decorated and there were a lot of nice people), infact I rather enjoyed seeing old friends, but three hours watching people drinking and shouting is enough for me. I've been gardening (is that a verb? Does it mean doing work in the garden?? I'm so tired I hardly see straight so I'm taking zero responsebility for the spelling/grammar/vocabulary) for three hours, so going to bed sounds like a great idea right now. But I still haven't studied Germany (a wordtest is lurcing behind the corner) and I should do a bit more Maths. Oh, and my depression seems to be back. Just the mere thought of ringing my granny (the kind and nice one, not the hag) to thank her for the money she gave me, almost made me scream. I don't want to see/meet/phone people right now (aside from some friends). Hmmm, I'd consider about getting some professional help, unless 1) "depression is fairly common among young women" 2) the mentalhealthcare-system in Finland sucks and 3) I don't have an eating disorder and I'm not suicidal (most of the time at least). So, I just hope it passes again and I can go back to my normal manic-depressive self again. Quote: a clown that does not know tears can still give out smiles in the midst of sorrow from his eye, a drop of water traces a single line down his cheek and disappears... people are all chasers of dreams no matter how far they have to go they want to believe -Crystal Eye's: Dear Liar |
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tired| Baka, baka,... | ||||
| 04:22pm 07/10/2003 | ||||
How is it possible to put two links in one entry and still be able to fuck up with the other one? I'm such a dummy. Okay, if you wanna see the Heron sword from the Wheel of Time, go to Endless Realms and then to the fourth page. There are also some neat LOTR weapons. The link is in my previous entry by the name sword. Must dash, because my job starts soon. |
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angry| "My body aches to breath your breath..." | ||||
| 06:06pm 05/10/2003 | ||||
I'm starting to get used to work again. It's not easy or light, but I suppose I can handle it. As long as I don't get any of my in and out depressions at work. That'd be sooo disasterous. I actually have done some school related things this weekend. And I also visited my daddy, for the first time in, ummm, two months? And I met for the first time my stepmothers son. My daddy and she have been together for around three years or more. I know I've got a weird family! I'm doing a project about Aiskhylos, so I went to the library on Friday. But there were no books handling him left. I was angry (I don't live in some teeny weeny village around the White Sea, God this is one of the biggest towns in Finland and the library is BIG) but after arriving home and checking my own bookshelves, I noticed I have at least 5 books telling about Aiskhylos. o.O If Finland still lived in check-time, I know where I'd order mine: Unicorns 'n stuff Oh, I was just writing one of my penpals. She lives in Kenya and manages to misspel my name every time. The same goes for all the foreign companies I've ever dealt with. Everytime I get a magazine from abroad, my name is misspelled, and always in the same way. But I've never had trouble with my first name in Finland before, until now in my new job. Every employer has a box, with a nametag. Guess who had her name misspelled. And I don't even have a complicated name! If you are interested in the Wheel of Time and have a lot of money: sword. Quote: "A good description of depression: people tell you to cheer up, and if you had the energy, you'd strangle them." |
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peaceful| "...tiedäthän miltä tuntuu/ lämmittää käsiään palaneiden kotien tuhkassa/..." | ||||||||
| 08:00pm 27/09/2003 | ||||||||
Tests, tests, tests, both in school and during my freetime. I should go study, but doing these stupid tests is more fun, so:
Yeah, that sounds like me. Hmmm 2w1, 1w2,... I'm getting all these weird thoughts. If someone knows a way to control a too activ imagination, please share. Quote: Come away, O human child! To the waters and the wild With a faery, hand in hand, For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand. -Yeates I've woken now to find myself In the shadows of all I have created I'm longing to be lost in you (away from this place I have made) Won't you take me away from me Evanescence- Away from me |
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working
| Tempus fugit (means time flies) | ||||
| 07:22pm 20/09/2003 | ||||
I've gotten addicted to Prince of Tennis. It's official now, I don't just like it, I really *enjoy* it. I know it doesn't have a real plot or anything, but weird stuff happens daily. Hmmm my mother just announced we can't touch the computer for a week or so. She is mad about something again. Well it does good for me to concentrate on my tests, but still it's friggin' unfair, 'cause I've done nothing wrong. I need to get a laptop. Maybe father will get me one for my birthday. Yeah right, most likely my mother'll interfere and I'll get something more "useful". I just understood I'll have English in my next period. Probably should learn to spell and stuff before my lessons begin, because I've been so lazy resently that my English has turned from tolerable to terrible. I can't spell anything anymore. *whinewhinewhine* Okay, here comes one of the pages I've been ranting about: Mostly Heero with some Duo. Quote: "Ja mitä kirjallisuus on, Rabo" , hän sanoi, "muuta kuin sisäpiirin kiertokirje molekyylejä koskettavista asioista, joilla on merkitystä ainoastaan muutamille maailmankaikkeuden molekyyleille, jotka sairastavat ajattelu-nimistä tautia." Kurt Vonnegut: Siniparta |
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indescribable| 05:37pm 13/09/2003 | ||||
A new phase in the constant "shock and amuse your sister" -game me and my sister are playing. She bought me this sticker from England. It's kinda big and has a text "Don't piss me off. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies" in it. I *like* it. I'll put it on my door. XD I finally watched the Makasiini- concert. Siiri Nordin is so cute! And so were some other singers too (like Ville Valo) but I must admit they are nothing compared to Mana.  The Lost Soul What sign of the Black Zodiac are you? brought to you by Quizilla Because I really like Kent and this matches my mood: Quote: "Hallå... Hallå igen Svara mig snälla svara är det nån här? Hallå... är du kvar än? Om du vågar knysta så gör jag nåt värre än vad två ögon klarar" Kent- Vad två öron klarar Swedish isn't my first language, so the translation is terrible but it goes something like: "Hello... Hello again Answer me please is there someone here? Hello... are you still there? If you dare to breath a word I will do something worse than what two eyes can take" |
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| 06:11pm 10/09/2003 | ||||
Okay. I'll just read a very short fanfic and then go do something useful. Nah, who am I kidding. |
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amused| "This is my life. It's not what it used to be..." | ||||
| 05:37pm 06/09/2003 | ||||
My sister left yesterday to England. And naturally she forgot to take an umbrella with her. Weird, this is the first time she's abroad without me. Even weirder is that I kinda miss her but I'm not worried about her being safe. I really should start to write my projects for school, but really all I've done has been reading. Mostly fanfiction and other non-productive stuff. But it just seems to be so hard to start working for my numbers again. Yeah, I know I'm lazy, no need to rub it in. My mothers going out again this evening. Not that I'm complaining, because it does a lot of good to her but we really seem to have mixed our roles somewhere along the way. I never go out, because to be honest I really appreciate my privacy and time alone. Too much of socializing and I'm ready to start screaming. On the other hand my mother loves going out with her friends. Oh and everyone who wants to ogle at something really stunning: Furiae. Quote:"When you love, you walk on water. Just be careful not to trip on the waves." LoneWolf: Not As Strong |
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| "Everyone fears and courts his own demon" | ||||
| 03:59pm 30/08/2003 | ||||
I'm feeling so utterly crappy right now, that I'm having trouble to comprehend it. I'm sick. I have this nasty flu and runny nose and I'm feeling uncomfortably hot (although my toes and fingers are freezing at the same time) and even the seven cups of tea I've drank haven't helped. Maybe I should drink another cup? Also I was planning on writing some projects for school this weekend, but I don't think I can form coherent enough ideas for that. Same reason stops me from answering Kuni's email. And to add to that, my modem is whining and bitching and refusing to oppen pages. Life is just so peachy keen, you know? I was planning on paying my sister a visit to abuse her ADSL, but in my current state its wiser to keep inside. Although I'd love to go for a long walk with my dog, but the idea of catching bronchitis is keeping me inside. *swears a bit at her fingers that refuse to type words correct* But I finally finished sorting my fanfics today. Hurray! Now they all are neatly by series. But I think I'll need to make indexes, because some of the files are around 1000 pages long. *cusses at her hands that just started shaking* I think I should go eat something to see if that would help me feel a bit better, or more alive or something. Quote: Take yourself down to the curb Sit and wait, a fool for life And it's almost like a disease Well I know soon you will be, you'll be over the lies You'll be strong You'll be rich and loved and you will carry on But oh no... no you won't be mine... "You Won't Be Mine" - Matchbox 20 |
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sick| 07:22pm 24/08/2003 | ||||
 Protector The ULTIMATE personality test brought to you by Quizilla For some reason that doesn't really surprise me. Okay, I know I've been lazy and not updating for a while, but all I've really been doing besides school stuff has been reading some scanlations, fanfiction and books. Not too interesting, eh? And then my depression has been kicking in, and that is a good reason to go jogging and as far away from people as possible. Gabby thanks for all the scans and amvs, they were great. The Last Client and +Anima and Dooms Day and,... I think I should go do some of the projects that are piling on my desk before they attack me. Quote: To honor my new addiction to Dooms Day (by Gackt Camui), here are the words and translations by Mina-P kirei na tsuki ga warau shizuka na yoru ni warau mou ichido, tsubuyaita wa anata no namae o... The pretty moon is smiling In the quiet night, it's laughing Once more, I murmured Your name... chirabaru garasu no ue de tsumetai kaze ga odoru anata no kaeri o matsu wa nemuri ni ochiru mae ni... Above the scattered glass A cold wind is dancing I await your return Before falling into sleep... sakendeiru watashi no koe ga hibiku yurusarenai anata no tsumi o daite My shouting voice resounds And I embrace your unforgivable sins anata no yume o mita wa mezameru koto no nai yume o madobe ni motarenagara sotto tsuki ni dakareta I saw your dream The dream you can't awaken from While leaning against the windowsill And being softly embraced by the moon sakendeiru anata no koe ga togireru yurusarenai watashi no tsumi wa tsuzuku anata no mune o, anata no ude o, anata no koe o... subete o itoshii hodo ni kuruoshii hodo ni aishisugita anata o daite nandomo kowashitsuzuketa... Your shouting voice stops And my unforgivable crime continues Your heart, your arms, your voice... everything Until we love each other, until it drives us mad, I hold you who I love too much I destroyed over and over again... ima nara todokimasu ka? yasashii kare no koe ga anata ni wa miemasu ka? akaku somatta kono ude ga... Does it reach you now? His kind voice Can you see it? Your arm, dyed red... furuenagara saigo no koe o keshite yurusarenai futari no tsumi o nakinagara hakanai yume wa, kanashii yume wa, setsunai yume wa owari o tsuge yasashii yume ni, itoshii yume ni, ano hi no mama ni, ano koro no you ni... While shaking, the last sound is erased While weeping for our unforgivable sins Ephemeral dreams, sorrowful dreams, painful dreams announce the end Into gentle dreams, into beloved dreams, like that day, like that time... |
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blah| "En ma enää aja virvatulta, onpa kädessäni onnen kulta..." | ||||
| 08:13pm 18/08/2003 | ||||
Okay, this test was nicked from Derelictus.  Angel Goth -- Something about the fallen angels calls to you. You might even name your first child Lucifer, regardless of sex. Which Gothic Stereotype Are You? brought to you by Quizilla And because I just feel like it, here's another one of my (infamous) quotes: Swing low sweet cherry, make it awful It's your life, it's your party, it's so awful Swing low, cherry cherry Yeah, it's awful He's drunk He tastes like candy He's so beautiful He's so deep, like dirty water God, he's awful You're lost, oh, where's your daddy? It's so awful Swing low, sweet cherry, yeah it's awful You're ripe for the picking, it's so awful Oh just shut up, you're only 16 'Awful' - Hole |
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| Online again | ||||
| 06:02pm 07/08/2003 | ||||
 Individuality Which Life Stage Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Sounds like me, or then again maybe not... I stole this test from Amanda. Warning! Some really inane rambling about Chobits ahead. You're warned! I’ve fallen for Chobits (by CLAMP). Although it started out as a stupid “boy’s manga” with great trouble like switching on a killer-cute female persocom (human shaped and sized computer) (and where would the switch happen to be so that it would be as daring and stupid as possible?) But now it has morphed into a really deep and dark story about tolerance, acceptance and limitations of both humans and computers. Can computers love and lust and can humans treat computers as peers, not as machinery? What are the definitions for a human? If one can love, hate, lust, be jealous, bend orders and programming, but can’t eat or drink, is one an it or he/she? If your memories are erased, are you also erased at the same time? I find the question rather tricky and I’m not even in the storyline. I love the beautiful characters, even Chi with her skimpy outfits. I like to spot the standard references to other series by CLAMP, like Piffle Princess and the owl- kinda thing from CLAMP School Detectives. I also love the picture book that tells the story of Chi and Hideki from a slightly different point of view inside the manga. And now in volume 6 the series has made me wait for how could Chi possibly make persocoms able to “dream as well”. And why does Minoru refer to “Icchan” in the end of volume 6? Icchan is from Angelic Layer, not from Chobits, or is he? All in all, I’m drooling for the last two volumes of this weird mixture of light-heartedness from Sakura and WISH and darkness and bittersweet angstyness from Clover. And how could I not like a series that covers the (sexual) relationships between pupil/teacher, older man/young girl, boy/persocom and persocom/persocom? |
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contemplative|
dreamyraven |
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