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[26 Apr 2003|02:02pm] [ mood | complacent ] It's been so long since I've had a chance to update, but that is because my quill went missing. I have a new friend, Erestor. He is a scribe! And he has books! Books that he will let me read! I'm so excited over it. But he also has a cat that I adore who was the one behind my quill going missing. I thought it was cute but he insisted on buying me a new quill. Thrandos was kidnapped a while back. I was worried sick and I couldn't sit still till I had freed him from Saruman's grasp. It is funny how when a person is gone you suddenly realize how much you care for them. Perhaps I am too loyal, if there is such a thing. I began to clean up my act though. I do not talk so lowly about myself any longer, apparently it was getting on Thrandos' nerves that I thought so lowly of myself. I was getting better when Eomer, Grima, and I rode out to Isengard. Eomer passed out and Grima wouldn't fight, so it was Saruman and I fighting for most of the time. He...he did something to me. It was like he reached in with some invisible hand and started taking away parts of me. He got distracted by Grima so I shoved my sword through his back, making sure to break his spine. He swore his revenge to me before dying. Something that I am highly nervous about now, though I have spoke to no one about it. When I stepped out to help Grima I had changed. I know now my hair is down to my waist. Dark red thick curls down to my waist. I had a headache for the first day trying to adjust to them. I am two inches taller now as well, along with a thinner and more mature face. A part of me is gone forever now, I know it. When I talked to Eomer about it he tried to keep me hopeful by saying I should perhaps see the Valar, but no. It's gone, Saruman took it from me and kept it when he died...and I am 2,000 years older now because of it. Just like that and I have lost my youth. And now it seems I must leave all these fine people. Many years back I had a vision that when I was much older I would help give birth to a child before the coming of a storm. My friend, Lady Celebrian had a child, and I helped give birth to her, placing a spell of strength and bless on the little girl. She is beautiful and it makes me realize how much I would love to have a family, but I know from my visions it will never happen....I am destined to walk alone. But in the vision, after helping with the child I set out to discover who I am. I know now that is what I must do, I must go in search of who my parents were. For when I placed spells on the child, spells that I had just read in books, I felt some reservoir inside of me suddenly awaken, some deep spot that I had not known about. It appears to be magic of some sort. I do not want to leave my friends behind, I really don't. I asked if people would go along with me, but I don't believe my closest friends will be able to do so. Eomer is in Rohan, Erestor is busy, I could never ask Thrandos to do such a thing for me, Legolas seems to have disappeared, Lady Celebrian just had a child, though arwenamin ( Lady Celebrian ) claims she will convince Aragorn to come with me. I could go alone, but inside of me I know I do not want to. post comment

[21 Mar 2003|01:40pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Ryan Adams - Cry On Demand ] I've been avoiding my journal lately because I have not known what to write. Thrandos has asked me about seeking an apprenticeship with Galadriel. Even now, I still don't know what to do. He is allowing me time to think about it. I guess a little training couldn't hurt, but I'm still resistive. I hope that he doesn't take it the wrong way that I'm taking so long to make up my mind. I miss being able to talk to Eomer about these things. Speaking of Eomer, he has decided to stop hiding and is showing his affection for Grima in public. In fact, I caught them on the kitchen table yesterday. It was interesting.... I've been doing a lot of reading lately. I don't think there is a book in the common room that I haven't read. I'm going to need more reading material soon. Time to head to the library. post comment

[27 Feb 2003|02:14pm] [ mood | determined ] [ music | Sister Hazel - Strange Cup Of Tea ] Fingon turned into a cat today. Or at least partially. I thought he looked sort of cute, but he obviously was angry at me for thinking such... I finally got up the courage to speak with Lord Boromir. I told him of my dream about Sauron and how I have visions. He promises me that I can trust him not to tell about my abilities. Three people know now, and that's more than I like. I felt slightly bad about burdening him with such bad news, but he appeared to be very confident about the entire thing. I promised him that I would help this time, and I meant it. The last time Sauron appeared I remember hiding in the shadows and telling no one of my dreams and visions. No longer. Prince Thrandos is right on the respect that I must stop running away. I think I'm ready... post comment

[26 Feb 2003|09:28pm] [ mood | amused ] I saw Fingon again! I just couldn't help but tease him while I was sitting there in the common room reading a book of poetry. He was acting like a cat most of the time. It was hilarious. He made me forget about me dreams for a time, and I even fell asleep in his lap at the end of the day, much to my embarresment... I must go to Lord Faramir or Lord Boromir about my dream of Sauron soon. I can not put it off any longer. But at least I have been forcing myself to sleep of late, I was given a sleeping draught from the healing houses. Oh, and I saw Eomer again as well. I'm concerned for him and some certain things that are going on in his life. (Of which I will not mention at this time) but he seemed happy around me. And he can never beat me at tree climbing! I have returned to Prince Thrandos' service for the time, but he wishes me to take up appreinticeship with Galadriel... He is right, I must stop running away, but I'm not eager to become a seer... post comment

musings [17 Feb 2003|05:10pm] [ mood | exhausted ] I have lately not gotten any sleep. Even now I refuse to so I sit here writing in this instead. I had a dream recently that Sauron returned to middle earth. To be exact, he stepped from the fires and shadow of Mordor in a human form and a blackness decended. A blackness kin to that of night, but there were no stars. I'm afraid to close my eyes now for fear that he will return to my dreams. I told this to Eomer and he wishes to know when I have any other dreams. I wish I had the strength to tell this to others though... I have sat in this chair all night pondering. I must return to the White Tower, as much as I wish to linger in Rohan. Prince Thrandos has no doubt become angry with my long absence and I hope that he accepts me back. I really do enjoy working for him, though I can't place my finger on the exact reason why. Perhaps it's something akin to maybe I can help him or make him happy. I'm not sure. I can hardly keep my eyes focused on this paper, but I have come to the conclusion that I will leave in the morning for the Tower with all the speed that I can handle. I'm sure Moonflet will be pleased to get out again. Eomer took me to the Fangorn today. It was most wonderful. I would love to camp out in that forest some day! Too bad I can't now. Eomer also dissapered and seemed to have a fight yesterday, the details of which I will not dive into... post comment

[13 Feb 2003|07:27pm] [ mood | content ] I have arrived in Rohan, I must say that I am enjoying myself very much. I'm sure Moonflet is enjoying his stay here as well, they always treat him so well in the Rohan stables. I will go visit him later in the morning today to see how he is doing. For the most part my stay here so far has been relaxing. I was surprised when Eomer let me stay in his sister's old rooms, but I find them very comfortable and I'm settling in. Yesterday I took a nap and had another one of my dreams, resulting with me falling to the floor and hitting my head, but other than that one instance I've not had another one. Though I must say that Eomer is a rather... sexy good looking well built... man. I found this out to my embarresment when he came to the door with nothing on but a towel. Good greif the man is dense! Here I am standing there turning as red as my hair and closing my eyes and he just stands there dumbfounded and thinking he's done something wrong. At any rate, Rohan is beautiful as ever. I wish that I could stay for the rest of my life, but I know that soon I must return to the tower to explain myself to Thrandos in person. I hope that he is doing well and getting rest. post comment

[11 Feb 2003|08:17pm] [ mood | anxious ] Much has happened and I don't know quite yet how to organize it all in my head. Eomer and I have become closer friends. He finally got me to tell him what's been wrong with me of late. I told him much more than I expected to ever tell anyone. It's strange how easy he is to talk to. At any rate, I spoke to him of my visions and of my childhood and how I never knew my parents. He wondered if either of my parents were seers, but I have no way of knowing. He has sworn that he will not betray my trust. I am so glad to have him as a friend... Thrandos had not been sleeping of late and I took care of him yesterday morning. I truely hope that he get's better. But it was more unfortunate that while I was washing his laundry I had a vision that was going to hurt him. I could never allow this! Despite how reserved I am towards him I do care for him. I was very ready to rush away from the White City right then and there, but Eomer caught me in the stables. We took a walk through the market, where I bought him a cloak pin. I told him that I had a vision, but not the exact details. I also asked him about taking me with him when he returns to Rohan. We are to go today, though I am worried for him because of Lady Ro. She has not returned yet and I know of his love for her. I wrote a letter to Thrandos asking for forgiveness at my abrut departure and I am returning the money he paid me. I hope he doesn't hate me, it would be crushing if he did... post comment

[07 Feb 2003|01:51pm] [ mood | pensive ] My work for Prince Thrandos continues uneventfully... I have been getting severe visions ever since I started staying in the tower. I had one yesterday in the garden after I slipped away from Eomer and Lady Ro, I had another in my dreams last night, and I kept spacing out in the kitchen today while I was speaking with Lord Faramir! I don't know what to do...I'm just thankful no one's caught me in the severe ones yet. They'd think something was wrong with me and perhaps I was ill and would try to touch me... I hate this so called gift. Which reminds me, I have recently made a new friend. He is King Eomer of Rohan, though he wishes for me to address him as only Eomer. It's wonderful to have a fellow horse lover around, and I must say that I am impressed with his riding skills. I enjoy his presence and I'm quite glad to actually have some friends. I hope these wonderful people think as much of me.... It makes my thoughts drift to Mirkwood. I wonder if I ever really had a home. True that Mirkwood is in my heart and always will be...but it is much in my heart as Rohan is. I still hope to see it again someday. I wonder how long I will stay in the white city. I stay now for my new friends, but when it comes time for me to leave again, will I? post comment

[04 Feb 2003|04:55pm] [ mood | contemplative ] I have been employed in Prince Thrandos' service. I draw his baths in the morning, bring him his tea, make his bed, and do his laundry. Plus any odd jobs that he might need me to do. It's very odd though to be around so many people. I'm used to being alone where ever I go, except for Moonflet of course. Lately, when I watch the happiness that seems to float around this place, I have been feeling very lonely. I don't know exactly what to do about it, I'm so bad around people... Prince Legolas urges me to meet people and that there are many fine people in the tower to meet. Prince Legolas is wise, I should listen to him, but it's so hard... Moonflet is the only one I go to with my troubles, that's how it's always been. He is my compainion and my only one, and yet... Prince Legolas called me his friend. I told him that it is returned, but it's still something very strange and new to me. There was a food fight in the common room tonight, I joined in a little and had quite a bit of fun. While everyone had so much fun, I slipped out quietly to take a bath and write in my journal. In some deep part of myself, I think I might be envious of what everyone around me has... I wonder where Lord Fingon has gone to. post comment

[31 Jan 2003|04:34pm] [ mood | content ] I must say that I had quite an interesting first day in the White City. I arrived and a strange man let me into the tower. It was a wonder being inside there! Everything is so full of memories. One of the Lords there caught me wandering through the halls, and though I was startled that I was even talking with someone such as him, we became fast friends. He is Lord Fingon, though he's asked that I refer to him as just Fingon. Fingon showed me the fountain at the center of the square, it's very beautiful! Fingon and I had a nice chat before he introduced me to Prince Legolas and Prince Thrandos. I was not expecting to see them much less be introduced to them! They both have quite the personalities. Prince Thrandos is quite taken to flirting, or so I asume, especially since Prince Legolas started backing away at his brother's words to me. Everyone at the tower calls me a lady though, something I'm not accustomed to. I convinced Fingon to stop, but the others I'm wary of telling them what to do, especially since they are my lords from Mirkwood. Anyways, I believe it's time for me to settle into bed at this rather cheap hotel... I had to work in the tavern to get this room and it wasn't worth it at all. Moonflet will be angry that I left him in the stables by himself. I'm afraid he is too used to me sleeping with him. post comment

[30 Jan 2003|04:08pm] [ mood | cheerful ] I am now headed in the direction of the White Tower. I've heard a great many stories of Minas Tirith and I'm excited about finally being able to see the fabled White City and it's tower, since many of my wanderings have kept me from the eastern part of the country. There are many things in the city that I wish to see for myself instead of from stories from the random passer-by who'd happen to stumble upon my fire. Yet in all my wanderings I must wonder what it is like to have a home.... post comment

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