Michael Constantino's Blurty
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Sunday, March 28th, 2004
| Time |
Event |
| 6:38a |
Top ten reasons my father is an asshole
1. He expects people to feel sorry for him because he has back pain, yet goes to work and puts up shades in schools.
2. He will believe anything my mom says, no matter now bizarre, because she will give him a blowjob at night.
3. He is a racist, yet he likes my black friend Eugene
4. He is a creepy pervert. He once asked me to find a girlfriend for the sole purpose of jerking off to her (No joke). He also asked my friend to show him a picture of his 19 year old girlfriend, you know the only reason for that is to see if she is hot.
5. He is a drug addict. He smokes pot, and does painkillers (In the name of back pain, of course. This is how Rush Limbaugh started with his drugs), yet if I was caught doing the same thing, I'd be in rehab and jail.
6. He charges his only son to live in a house full of negativity. In other words he charges his son rent.
7. He watches the shittiest TV shows man has ever seen (Everyone loves raymond, Bonanaza, Friends, and the hit, According to Jim)
8. He thinks he deserves respect because he is old.
9. He follows me wherever I go and asks 1,000,000 questions as to where I am going
10. He is too dumb to drive. He doesn't know where he is going half the time, and always takes the long way to places. | | 7:04a |
Top ten reasons my mom is a bitch
1. She is always missing money and blames me, even when she lost it at work.
2. She has no teeth. Well she does but they are fake
3. She always pretends like she is a woman on the go and has no time for anything. Yet always finds time to sit around and watch shitty movies like Two Weeks Notice, Dirty Dancing and Legally Blonde
4. When she is late for work by a half hour or more, the only thing she worries about is what color scrunchy she has in her hair.
5. She has no money for food or parking, yet always seems to find some to buy hair dye each month.
6. She drags my dad to see chick flicks, gay plays, and lesbian rock concerts.
7. When she makes a joke she expects no one to laugh. When they do, she yells at them and starts to cry.
8. She sells my stuff on ebay without my permission and without me knowing and then keeps the cash. When confronted she denies it and then when I show her the listing, she thinks she is justified because she is my mother.
9. She thinks she knows more about computers than me, yet can't get a simple acronym correct.
10. She is a racist. She always talks about how black people live like animals, and how I am her "Nigger Slave" and how I "Nigger rig" (Whatever the fuck that is supposed to mean) things, yet seems to like my black friend Eugene. | | 1:27p |
Top ten reasons why my Uncle Scott is a stupid ass idiot
Man I found my niche. I love doing these top ten lists. Makes me feels like I am Letterman! Anyway here it goes
1. He is an ex drug addict (He sniffed glue out of a paper bag).
2. Before I got a job, he made fun of me because I didn't have a job, yet he hasn't worked a day in over ten years
3. He seems to only date trashy women (Hookers, strippers, other drug addicts etc)
4. He is blind from the drugs yet he gets all sorts of benefits from it (Free Computer, Free College, Free Apartment). It is like he is being rewarded for wasting his life away through a paper bag
5. He pretends to play guitar to impress people, yet he cannot play a song with more than 4 chords in it
6. He urninates in a bottle and shits in a bucket because he is too lazy to walk a few feet to the bathroom
7. He is a racist, yet admits to dating 5 black women in the past
8. His ex girlfriend is a crack whore who murdered some old guy in Lancaster for $15 worth of crack money (True story, however I only found one site about the story and it is really short so here it is.)
Lancaster, New York
75-year-old fatally beaten in home; 30-year-old woman charged -- (Boston.com) Gina Mancini, a hospital food services worker, was arrested Sunday and charged with second-degree murder in the death of Filippo Pecorora, a retired stonemason.
9. He is a religious fanatic, yet he goes out and has sex with women almost every night (Without being married mind you), watches gory horror movies, listens to Satanic death metal CDs and listens to howard stern. He also goes to strip clubs.
10. He gets easily upset and makes a fuss about the smallest things. One time we were in target and they didn't have an iron (To iron your clothes with) in stock so he told the manager that he is not going there again and made a fuss. |
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