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| 08:02pm 24/11/2003 |
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i guess i thought i had to like someone.. but i actually dont |
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| This time i've got to feel good... |
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| 11:41pm 28/08/2003 |
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mood:  cranky music: Everybody Loves Raymond
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I guess im just too boring for him or sumtin. Its hard to start talkin about sumtin he's intersted in, so i just keep my mouth shut. And if i try, i get no where. Wutever, its his turn to try if he wants anything. Im done with this shit. I'm tired. Peace
P.S. After marianne picked me up today, she started talkin bout how he's actually cute.. do i normally have bad taste in guyz? lol, yea i guess i do. NO! i dont! lol, good nite. |
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| John Lovitz is too foonie! |
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| 03:05am 23/08/2003 |
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mood:  giggly music: John Lovitz hosting SNL
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I kno i shouldnt like him. And im actually not lettin myself like him right now. Its hard, but i can manage. How do i do it u ask? Simple... just dont think about the sweet things he says, and just think about the harsh things he has said. Its too easy really. But when he does say sweet things it brings a huge smile to my face. I think.. why am i not allowing myself to like this guy? Diego says he's an ass. I guess i should just keep that in my head. Oh dwell.
Joey: good night sorry i didnt have time to visit you today but soon i promise
He didnt have to apologize. No reason to. It was sweet that he bothered to tho. "...i promise" that sticks in my head.. oh well. im gonna stop thinkin about it. Ppl say i think too much, i guess its true.. Well, toodles.
Luv, Xandra |
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| ....roar.... |
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| 10:53pm 21/08/2003 |
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mood:  pissed off music: myself "ROAR"ING!
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LiFE..... SUX!!!! |
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| 12 Gracious Melodies... |
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| 02:58am 18/08/2003 |
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mood:  blah music: STP- Kitchenware & Candy Bars (in my head)
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 your eyes show unhappiness
which eye are you? brought to you by Quizilla |
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| No Rub Lasting Comfort |
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| 07:43pm 14/08/2003 |
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mood:  amused music: Dashboard- Hands Down
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 You're the sad smile,the one that regrets nearly everything and is constantly wondering about what could have been.You're not happy with your situation and usually blame yourself because of the bad things that have happened.Cheer up.
What Kind of Smile are You? brought to you by Quizilla
Ok.. every result is the same, no matter how many different answers u put.. BUT, i had to put it here because lestat is my favorite, and thought it wuz funny that it wuz lestat. muah!!
 Lestat: You are most like Lestat, the Toreador vampire of the group. Toreador means he is Outspoken, amd he has a love for music and art. Which can explain itself, since later in the series, Lestat becomes a famous rockstar named 'Lestat the Vampire'.
What character from Interview with a Vampire are you most like?((Not finished...)) brought to you by Quizilla |
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| Blarb |
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| 10:32pm 11/08/2003 |
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So i stayed up for a while. Accidently fell asleep around 9AM while watch The Ref i wuz so close! |
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| Starlight Starbright |
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| 05:32am 11/08/2003 |
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mood:  awake music: Fountains of Wayne- Stacy's Mom
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My goal is to stay up all nite. Its already 5:30. Sun will be up by 7. Mom will be up by 8 so I wont be so bored. Im stayin up with Lance. YEEHAW! Hopefully dad wont disconnect my before he leaves to work. If he does, i could alwayz turn it back on.. im just a bit lazy. Hopefully I'll get me sum jamba juice tomorrow. later yallz |
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| EViL! |
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| 03:46am 10/08/2003 |
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mood:  bored music: RadioHead
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 You the Devil Girl, Mysterious and some would call you evil... your not evil you just dont care, you love to observe others misery and point out the fatal flaws in the system of life, you are the death bringer and you think your ruled by noone, but just like the Angel you ahve a higher diety who uses you as a puppet.. as you think you do unto others...
What Type Of Anime Creature Are You? { With Picture images ! } brought to you by Quizilla |
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| Bombs Away! |
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| 04:08am 09/08/2003 |
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mood:  lonely music: Static X- Cold
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CursedBySaffron: So.....Kerri and myself were talking yesterday about Josh, and you, and shit. Kerri seems to think that you're self destructive. That you only want stuff when you can't have it, and it ends up hurting you in the long run. Examples: You not realizing you loved Kevin till he was gone, You developing feelings for me after I was with Kerri....See the point?
*****************
Ok, the whole Kevin thing.. I did it to myself. I fucked my self over. But that wuznt all my fault. I was an ugly fat kid then.. Kevin actually liking me felt weird to me. It didnt seem real. I fell for him, and i got scared. The fact that someone could actually be falling for this HIDEOUS thing i was scared the fuck outta me aswell.. so yea, now that i realized he could have actually liked me, and that he told me he loved me.. well, im fucked. so yea. Kevins dead to me now, i love him with all my heart, but its clear to see that he wants me to forget him so i wont hurt anymore. I remember him acting that way on the phone that one nite.. anywhooooooooo.. yea
And ive been thinking about this all day. Ok, secondly .... so i had a tiny little crush on joel, so what? it wuz so minor! He was a silly cootie, but yall made it seem like i had a MAJOR thing for him.. cmon! i was hooked on Matt at that time! All i ever really said wuz that u could have made it on to the other ladder if u jumped. Made me seem like the type a gurl that says how she feels after she knows she cant have it..(*cough*kristina*cough* i hate those types of gurls!!) that wuz not wut i wuz goin for!!!! Joel asked sumtin, and i simply answered back.. I didnt really say i had strong feelings for him!! Sorry, that has really been buggin me all day.. cuz i dont like being classified as one of those gurls that does THAT stuff.. lol, if that makes sense.... IM NOT THAT SELF DESTRUCTIVE!
Anywho, back to the other stuffz.. There was a quote that described me best "Life seems to enjoy knocking you around. So you've isolated yourself from any chance of pain." But there's sumtin wrong there.. Ive tried to isolate myself from any chance of pain, but it just didnt work anymore... i forgot how. I tried being more open, because everyone told me i was so blah, and i wouldnt let myself get close to anyone or let ppl get close to me, and that it needed to stop.. i didnt hurt then. I wanted to experience new things tho, but i didnt kno the new things would hurt so much.. being more open hurts like a bitch, thats why i just might become my old self again.. but i dont remember how to.
Alright, im out for now. Love Peace & Chicken Grease. <^> fuck to one and all! |
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| Right on compadre! |
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| 03:06am 06/08/2003 |
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mood:  crushed music: GooGooDolls- Here Is Gone
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Krysta is right.. i should make him beg for forgiveness. BUTTTTT in the time that i've gotten to know him, he hasnt seemed like the type of person to apologize for anything. He doesnt seem like he'd wanna keep talkin to me at all. If i stop talkin to him now, im sure im never gonna hear from him again. Is this how it should be? Whatever. Life loves bein a bitch.. Right when i think i've found a guy that i could see myself datin, it spits right in my eye. Its happened with Kevin, matt, and now joey.. this is such a load of crap! DAMN LIFE! DAMN LIFE TO HELL! Lemme tell ya.. that whole Kevin thing happened on purpose. Life is being crueler to me now. It gave me a taste of happiness and took it away from me. Now it teases me. WHAT THE FUCK! I know that you dont need someone to make u happy, but when u do have someone isnt it great? I want that.. i want it again.. Now its just a fuckin tease. Ive been single for 16 years of my life.. ive had no one, i want someone. Kevin was just 2 months of my life (an awesome 2 months).. but we were like bestfriends before dating, so that made it harder to just have him leave. ajsdf;sdjfklja FUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK |
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| Go a little crazy...sometimes |
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| 03:05am 05/08/2003 |
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mood:  gloomy music: Audioslave- Show Me How To Live
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I'm seriously gettin nowhere with Joey.. NOWHERE! Its really pissin me off that im tryin to hard and its gettin me shit. He got pissed off last nite because i said he wuznt very respectful. I wrote him a long email and blah blah blah. He wrote me back and this is just part of wut he said:
I was asking you so hopefully you would say something that would make me feel like i wasn't but you didn't. I thought you knew that all the stupid comments i make are jokes. I think i always try to be nice to girls but maybe i'm not so i should just hang out with different ones that think i am.
Does that mean he doesnt wanna hang out with me anymore? WHAT THE FUCK? And then he came on around 12. Stayed on for like 10 mins. Then he left. He probably doesnt wanna talk to me anymore. Whatever. Lifes a bitch, right?
Mest-Jaded There's a time and place, for everything. (time to get pissed) There's a reason why, certain people meet. (yea, just to piss u off) There's a destination, for everyone. (straight to lonelyville) What's the explination, when we're done? (we're meant to get pissed)
All the summer nights spent wondering; (why ur so weird) So many questions asked, but no one's answering. (cuz ur so weird) Would it be okay if I left today? (cuz u dont really care, ur 2 good 4 evrything) Took my chances on what you said was wrong? (cuz u dont like anything!)
I'm jaded, stupid, and wreckless. (yes, i really am) |
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| Doodie Doodie |
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| 03:44am 01/08/2003 |
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mood:  weird music: Mudvayne- Shadow of a Man
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I was checkin my horoscope for the day i did the dirty deed. And it wuz frightening. LOL.
Sun Jul. 27, 2003 by Astrocenter.com It is quite possible that you have been so emotional about a certain issue that you have taken it way too far, dear Scorpio. Fortunately, your mental reasoning has finally caught up with your feelings, and now it is time for a reckoning. Give your brain a chance to help sort things out and bring the situation back into equilibrium. Your first tendency may be to overreact and have things swing in exactly the opposite direction. Do your best to resist this temptation.
I think i read it a little too late. AHAHHEHEHHEHAHHEH. |
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| igual que baila un corazon |
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| 01:48am 30/07/2003 |
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mood:  relieved music: Ricky Martin- No Importa La Distancia
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ME: ok joey, im gonna tell u right now.. i like u. whether u like me back or not, i really dont give a damn. im just tellin u straight out, that i like u.. now having got that off my chest, im happy as a clam. ME: :-D JOEY: thats kool i like you too ME: lol ME: alright |
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| SI SI SI |
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| 05:38pm 29/07/2003 |
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mood:  calm music: Ricky Martin- La Copa De La Vida
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 Fun, innocent and flirty, guys are drawn to your firey ways. Your fun personality drives the men wild, and they just can't enough of you! With that girl-next-door charm and those bright eyes, you can get what you want in a snap... Keep them beggin' honey!! What's *Your* Inner Hair Color?More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva |
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| UH-OH! |
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| 03:28pm 28/07/2003 |
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mood:  devious music: 30 Seconds to Mars- Capricorn
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Yes, im sorry.. i kissed Bo. MY BAD. Im a very bad gurl. NO NO. Am i not allowed to get a kiss once in a while?! C'mon! its just Bo! He means nuthing to me! NUTHING! NUTHING! I like Joey.
...i didnt hate it. |
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| nothing good comes easily |
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| 02:21pm 28/07/2003 |
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mood:  chipper music: 311- Amber
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SOMETIMES U GOT TO FIGHT!
I took the quiz that krysta took, heehaw. I like taking quizzes.. SORRRRRRRY!
 You represent... hope. You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't mind being alone at times. You have goals, and know what you want in life... even if they are a little far fetched.
What feeling do you represent? brought to you by Quizilla |
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