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Sunday, July 10th, 2005
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11:12p - Real Stuff
Okay only tiny mentions of movies but no more full fledged "the only thing I talk about is movies" again.
OKAY
I told you about Laurissa driving me to sutherland..but I didnt tell you what happened on the way back
some construction was being did on the lights above the polson mall (on the hill) so driving back the flag lady put up her stop sign up but wasnt paying attention to the cars. When she finally looked it was too late. She wasnt hit hard, at least it didnt look like it. she lifted her leg, hopped back and fell on the ground. It felt like my heart just stopped beating, and my lungs stopped breathing. I am blind I do not see things like that. I didnt feel right after that.
Then yesterday I was with my dad and we were at the Shell and we backed into someone who was backing up. mutual fuck up...but as soon as we hit I was freaking out. I was hyper ventilating..tears welled in my eyes. How am I ever going to survive. I freak out at the littlest thing, thats real anyway. That I see with my own eyes. Nothing on the TV really makes me feel that way. I feel angry, sad or horny lol, but nothing freaks me out.
Yesterday I slept over at Alisons and watched a couple movies (the pacifier and The Rules Of Attraction)
Okay a little spill about rules of attraction I have too!!!
I love that movie
"A great numb feeling washes over me as I let go of the past and look forward to the future. Pretend to be a vampire. I don't really need to pretend, because it's who I am, an emotional vampire. I've just come to expect it. Vampires are real. That I was born this way. That I feed off of other people's real emotions. Search for this night's prey. Who will it be? "
Okay okay thats it...wanna talk more about it send me an email..This journal is for personal shit!
ps..I love that movie.
so 2maroh I have that job interview..I am very nervous.. I hate job interviews...last one I had wasnt even a job interview it was when do you want to start and what do you want to do.. I was already hired...this one actually is an interview...with tests GAH...and all these friends of mine passed with flying colours...so if i fuck up it really means I fucked up..Then what will I do?
Daddy says that I shouldnt worry about the registration. It will be taken care of...WHEN...It needs to be there before the 29th and should be there a week before so they can contact me with..oh fuck hun you need to send us more money. Money that our family doesnt have, that my parents keep bitching loudly about and I am supposed to not worry about it? I really hate this bullshit, I can't wait to move out so I only have to worry about me and Mel. That's going to be harsh be responsible...really responsible not just feel responsible I will be...I feel like if I leave this house its going to burst in flames. Not to say I hold together my family it just feels like it at times
(comment on this)
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