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Thursday, December 11th, 2003
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12:45a
I just got back from seeing Eddie Izzard. :D
Woah. I think that's the only way to describe seeing one of Eddie's shows on five hours of sleep and essay stress. Good god that man rocks.
He talked about flies and Yemen and Lambourghinis and monks and monkeys and Sheffield (yay! he actually went to university here so he may not have just been playing to his audience) and Rome and Achilles and Ajax and the Dark Ages and bags full of cats and the Doppler effect and transvetites being similar to superheroes and American airport check-ins and Mars and oh, everything!
We were quite near the back so I could only really see him on the big screen that was behind him, he was just this tiny bright blue (from the spotlights) figure on the stage, but he did, of course, look fab in his longish blue coat - cut a bit like a longer version the Sgt. Pepper Beatles outfits and his leather mini-skirt;)
He's just so fab and sorted. I luff him muchly:)
Five people can play the clarinet in the world and they make quite a beautiful wooden noise. I played it like a fog horn being dragged through a place where fog horns shouldn't be dragged.
And Achilles....Immortal man! Immortal body! Except he had an Achilles heel. What an irony!
I..I wiped the file? I wiped ALL the files? I wiped the INTERNET? I don't even have a modem!
Hehehe;)
current mood:  exhausted
current music: Letting the Cables Sleep::Bush (in my head) (2 comments |comment on this)
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1:11p
Another day of essay writing ahead of me. Blurgh. This makes me not happy. I did my whole, 'just ten more minutes' thing about 8 times this morning before I finally got up. But hey, it shouldn't actually take that long and I'm not so worried about it anymore after talking to Prof. Levene yesterday.
I wish I wasn't so competitive sometimes. Losing sucks.
Perhaps I'll be unappreciated in my time. Hmmm. *brave face smile*
current mood:  disappointed
current music: the sound of ER from the next room (comment on this)
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5:10p
Concentration is becoming something of an issue! One more day, one more trip to Leeds and then I can do more of what I want to do. I'll still have an essay to write (Elegy again, Ovid's use of mythology), and probably another to research (Religion, on emperor-cult and deification of men) and I should start planning my dissertation over Christmas too, but that will be fun;), for it will be about the Aeneid.
So hopefully there'll be a bit more Phoenix coming up. Fingers crossed.
I think I should probably make myself a timetable for the holidays. But I suck at keeping to self-made timetables!
current mood:  bored
current music: Inside::Sting (comment on this)
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8:26p
Those elusive Enneagram test results are in again. I thought I'd post these one, as I agree slightly more with them. However, can I just say this: I am not close-minded! I am about the least close-minded person I know! Working on my definition of close-minded, which would be someone who never looks outside themselves for answers and needs to make everything and everybody conform to an unspoken pattern. I like patterns as much as the next person, but I don't try and impose arbitrary ones on things, and particularly not on people! Ok, disclaimer rant over, on with the results:
 Advanced Enneagram Test Results | Type 1 | Perfectionism | |||||||||||||||| | 64% | | Type 2 | Helpfulness | |||||||||||| | 47% | | Type 3 | Ambition | |||||||||||||||||| | 80% | | Type 4 | Sensitivity | |||||||||||||| | 60% | | Type 5 | Detachment | |||||||||||||||||| | 71% | | Type 6 | Anxiety | |||||||||||||| | 58% | | Type 7 | Adventurousness | |||||| | 25% | | Type 8 | Hostility | |||||||||||||| | 58% | | Type 9 | Calmness | |||||||||| | 40% | Your Conscious-Surface type is 3w4 Your Unconscious-Overall type is 3w4 | Take Free Advanced Enneagram Personality Test
main type / mean type motivations
1 - perfectionism to attract love
2 - helpfulness to attract love
3 - achievement to attract love
4 - insecurity to attract love
5w4 - knowledge to attract freedom
5w6 - knowledge to acquire freedom
6 - security to acquire pleasure
7 - experience/fun to acquire pleasure
8 - control to acquire pleasure
9 - peace to acquire pleasure
main type / mean type examples
5/4 - uses knowledge to show insecurity (brooding writer)
8/2 - uses control to help others (ceo of humanitarian organization)
3/7 - uses achievement to experience more of life (travel magazine journalist)
4/6 - uses insecurity to be more secure (waif fashion model)
1/9 - uses perfectionism to have a more peaceful life (librarian)
type score type behavior motivation
3 56 I must be impressive and successful to get what I want.
5 50 I must be knowledgable and independent to get what I want.
1 45 I must be perfect and good to get what I want.
4 42 I must be insecure and/or special to get what I want.
6 41 I must be secure and safe to get what I want.
8 41 I must be strong and in control to get what I want.
2 33 I must be helpful and caring to get what I want.
9 28 I must be peaceful and easy to get along with to get what I want.
7 18 I must be energetic and entertaining to get what I want.
Hmmmm.
It usually gives me 4w3, which probably is more like me, based not on their descriptions, but on this one:
The Sensitive, Withdrawn Type:
Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental
Basic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significanceThis is how I've been feeling recently to a tee
Basic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create an identity)
Enneagram Four with a Three-Wing: "The Aristocrat"
Enneagram Four with a Five-Wing: "The Bohemian"
Profile Summary for the Enneagram Type Four
Healthy: Self-aware, introspective, on the "search for self," aware of feelings and inner impulses. Sensitive and intuitive both to self and others: gentle, tactful, compassionate. / Highly personal, individualistic, "true to self." Self-revealing, emotionally honest, humane. Ironic view of self and life: can be serious and funny, vulnerable and emotionally strong. At Their Best: Profoundly creative, expressing the personal and the universal, possibly in a work of art. Inspired, self-renewing and regenerating: able to transform all their experiences into something valuable: self-creative.
This is more like me, I hope.
Average: Take an artistic, romantic orientation to life, creating a beautiful, aesthetic environment to cultivate and prolong personal feelings. Heighten reality through fantasy, passionate feelings, and the imagination. / To stay in touch with feelings, they interiorize everything, taking everything personally, but become self-absorbed and introverted, moody and hypersensitive, shy and self-conscious, unable to be spontaneous or to "get out of themselves." Stay withdrawn to protect their self-image and to buy time to sort out feelings. / Gradually think that they are different from others, and feel that they are exempt from living as everyone else does. They become melancholy dreamers, disdainful, decadent, and sensual, living in a fantasy world. Self-pity and envy of others leads to self-indulgence, and to becoming increasingly impractical, unproductive, effete, and precious.
I don't think this bit is particularly accurate, I'm not that nasty! It's possible that I veer from Healthy to unhealthy and miss this bit out however!
Unhealthy: When dreams fail, become self-inhibiting and angry at self, depressed and alienated from self and others, blocked and emotionally paralyzed. Ashamed of self, fatigued and unable to function. / Tormented by delusional self-contempt, self-reproaches, self-hatred, and morbid thoughts: everything is a source of torment.So far so good... Blaming others, they drive away anyone who tries to help them.I don't do this though, I pester people in my way til they help me Despairing, feel hopeless and become self-destructive, possibly abusing alcohol or drugs to escape. In the extreme: emotional breakdown or suicide is likely. Generally corresponds to the Avoidant, Depressive, and Narcissistic personality disorders. Yay.
basically right
Key Motivations: Want to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else, to attract a "rescuer" this bit is rubbish, if anything I like being the rescuer myself!
But I'm in good company:
Examples: Ingmar Bergman, Alan Watts, Sarah McLachlan, Alanis Morrisette, Paul Simon, Jeremy Irons, Patrick Stewart, Joseph Fiennes, Martha Graham, Bob Dylan, Miles Davis, Johnny Depp, Anne Rice, Rudolph Nureyev, J.D. Salinger, Anaîs Nin, Marcel Proust, Maria Callas, Tennessee Williams, Edgar Allan Poe, Annie Lennox, Prince, Michael Jackson, Virginia Woolf, Judy Garland, "Blanche DuBois" (Streetcar Named Desire).
current mood:  productive
current music: Send Your Love::Sting (comment on this)
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