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dnomde's Journal

17th November, 2008. 3:09 pm. Happiness is....

...that few blissful moments of ignorance before reality sets in.

...that feeling you get when you've just recovered from a bad bout of illness.

...finishing grading a stack of 40 essays in one go.

...doing what your heart tells you to.

...having to care for people around you and receiving their care in return.

...unexplainable at times.

...knowing the truth, even though it may hurt sometimes.

...being free and being accepted for who you are.

...not being judgmental.

...having people whom you can REALLY count on.

...transient, which is why every moment of it has to be savoured.

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5th July, 2008. 7:07 pm. Growing Up

Hmm....in one of my reflection moods again. Feel that I am in serious need of growing up - emotionally. I need the fortitude as well as the common sense to chuck the frivolous/insignificant comments/actions/inactions made by people around me. Sometimes, I think I'm just too harsh on myself. (Or am I?) Whenever I sense something (amiss/wrong) from others, the first person I'd blame/query would be myself. Then I'll take this trip of speculation and guessing and at the end of it all, figure that the fault lies with me. Have I not done something? Why am I like this? Why? Why? Why? This rumination tips the emotional balance and I go off centre for a few days. Negative thoughts get to me easily and I hate it. But I can't help it as these emotions just come washing over me.
I should take a stand - stop being a doormat! Fuck those idiots. Learn to appreciate and reciprocate (by a hundred times) those who do love me / appreciate me for who I am. I should not go into a frenzy of pleasing everyone cos not everyone is worth pleasing. I should stop trying so hard to gain approval from others. I should be happy with what I do, who I am (package comes with flaws) and fuck those fuckers who think otherwise. Be proud! NO ONE'S PERFECT SO DUN AIM TO BE ONE!

Action Plan: 1) Ignore the bloody fucks - they don't deserve my attention and my concern, much less my help. They can go fawn over their "idols" with their pretentious sweetness and praises (Me jealous? I dun think so....not for this obnoxious fucker that I have in mind). 2) "Wake up" more cos there are really some areas that I am very aware that I'm lacking...so do things with more heart and not just blindly doing. THINK! THINK! THINK! Wake that sensitive and considerate side of yourself up.

Current mood: moody.
Current music: Mix of Sarah McLachlan's + Joni Mitchell's songs.

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9th April, 2008. 9:17 pm. Thought on Noting Down Birthdays

Why do we go through the process of finding out birthdates? Why spend time dotting our calendars with pretty stickers and fancy handwritten reminders only to forget about wishing the person "Happy Birthday!" at the end of it all? Such a waste of time, not to mention a superficial move to show someone that you care enough to only write a reminder on the calendar and nothing else.

I note birthdates with purpose. I make th effort to send my greetings, even if it is a mere SMS instead of a fanciful present or a dinner treat.

Maybe I should just accept the birthdate noting process as just another spur of the moment activity to make one feel good and falsely declaring to the self that one has done one's part as a friend.

Happy Birthday all!! :)

Current mood: cynical.
Current music: Colbie Caillat - Album: Coco.

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13th November, 2007. 9:21 pm. What Do You Want?

Your question came quick as a bullet.
So is it A or B?

The mind searches doubly quick
Fumbling for an answer
That allows me to stay “correct”
To step no toes
To not commit
To going somewhere that I’m not prepared to go

Whipped out whatever I could in that instant
I muttered
I thought I’m stuck with A
I’ve heard no word about B…

Make up your mind
What do you want?
Your reply came sharply
It shreds
The already tattered image that I have of you

Words only made up part of the impact
The eyes
The tone
The rough gesture
Filled up the blanks
For they speak so much more
Make up your mind!
Tell us what you want.

I want to leave.

Current mood: indescribable.
Current music: Tanya Chua - Goodbye & Hello.

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11th October, 2007. 5:52 pm. What my Star/Astro/Zodiac Signs Say...

Surprisingly true, to a certain extent. (Courtesy of Facebook application)

The Aries Sheep: These Sheep do better behind the scenes. They are obsessive in love, but make a strong, stable partner.

Love: Sheep do not like to be alone. They are very family-oriented people. If you do not like children or big families, Sheep are not right for you. Sheep will give themselves entirely to the right person and will do everything they can to maintain a stable, loving, happy relationship.

The Sheep as a Friend: Sheep are sociable creatures, but they must really get to know you and the territory before engaging in any sort of committed situation. They are private and do not generally tell you everything there is to know about them until they have tested the waters and are sure they want to reveal themselves to you. Therefore, becoming a close friend of the Sheep is a taxing process and many do not have the patience to wait. Consequently, the Sheep has many acquaintances and few really good friends.

Work: Aug 13 2007 to Nov 9 2007 - During the first two months of this period, you'll get good results in your work. However, your clear-cut opinions and your refusal to make concessions may provoke clashes with fellow-workers. A little more flexibility would help you avoid many useless setbacks. During the remainder of the period, you'll be all but a dilettante. On the contrary, you'll be set on achieving your projects by sparing neither your efforts nor your time. The reward will take much time to come, which will incline you even more to perseverance.

Nov 10 2007 to Feb 8 2008 - Your professional comportment will change at the beginning of this period. You'll be compelled to solve your problems drastically, to weigh the pros and the cons on all occasions. Beware not to provoke too violent shocks; you can achieve your objectives more surely if you work calmly. From the second month of the period on, you'll become more determined, more active, more dynamic. You'll be more inclined than ever to privilege the future and to take drastic decisions. Good success in the last month.

The Sheep At Work: Sheep people like the comfort of a crowd. They enjoy adding input and opinions but do not wish to take a lead position. Sheep will take a leadership role if asked, but generally prefer to be a part of the group. They do not seek positions of power or status as these things are not important to the Sheep.

Not facebooked yet? Get it now!! :)

Current mood: busy.
Current music: Sarah McLachlan & Corrine May.

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