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My hair smells like bread, not grease. Its a weird adjustment, but I like it. So far, Panera is sooo much more wonderful than Steak n Shake. The people are nicer, the store is nicer, the atmosphere is nicer, everything. I can't believe it. Not being in school is starting to take an odd toll on me. I miss it a lot, and feel like I'm doing nothing productive with my life right now. My grad school apps are in, so I'm waiting on those... I'm working, and that's about it. I want a project, I want to feel useful. I want to go to bed with the feeling that I've accomplished something that day, and lately I just haven't had that feeling. Lately, actually, I've been feeling really lonely. I think that has a lot to do with being in an empty house so much. My parents have been out of town for the long weekend, and it's just been me and Andrew. We've been able to hang out and do a lot of things together, but the fact remains that all too often, I'm left alone. There's something really unnerving to me about being alone in the house. Even if someone is in the basement and I'm up in my room, I feel better. Weekends like this make me wonder how I am ever going to be able to move out and live on my own. I keep having bad mental images of me pacing around an empty apartment, absolutely depressed. I've been really tired lately... But I can't figure out why. I'm getting 7-8 hours of sleep, I shouldn't be this tired. I wonder if you can become physically exhausted by thinking too much about the uncertainties. |
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