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The Killers - Mr Brightside |
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Yesterday I went down to see him. I got hardly any sleep [4 hours - broken] the night before because he went out with his friends, then I woke up when he texted me at 3:40am to tell me he just got home. I started to think allsorts of stupid things again. So I was stressed on the way down to see him. Then he'd forgotten what time my coach got in & was 25 mins late [he called me as we were approaching the station, it was a genuine mistake] but anyway, we had a good day all things considered! He was so loving, I mean, he always is, but even moreso yesterday, it was obvious all my dumbass fears had been fabricated by my own brain entirely. Thank God though. We'd missed each other so so much, and both been so upset & stressed, we need each other, it's beautiful <3 We walked looking for somewhere to eat a while, then I agreed on Subway lol - although I hate that place, even the smell makes me feel sick. The things you do for love eh? :)
Then we walked to the cathedral, it was pretty, but the organist was practicing sad hymns, and we were by the votive candles & he started crying. So he went & lit one & sat down to pray .. I sat there, with my arms around him, stroking his hair & back soothingly as he wept. He shakes when he cries. Then he reached for my hand, and I squeezed his hand reassuringly, and kissed his shoulder. I'm glad he feels he can cry with me, and I know it's better to let it out so he can start to heal, but that doesn't mean I have to like seeing him upset, it twists & gnarls my heart to know he's hurting, and there's nothing I can do, and that he has to experience the grief to recover on the other side. I love him so much.
From there, when he had composed himself, we went to his uni guild & bought chocolate. Chocolate is good. then we went back to his house. His mum seemed alright, all things considered. We sat on the couch, and Ste had his arm around me the whole time squeezing me tight with one arm & eating Reeces chocolate peanut butter cups [lol] with the other. We watched Will & Grace [I heart W&G] with his mum, then he was like "Look mum she's ticklish!!" & we proceeded to have a tickling fight, and he's not afraid to be affectionate with me around his family either, hehe :)
We then went to his room & just cuddled on his bed .. neither of us was going to get frisky the day after his grandad died, how disrespectful would that have been?! Although, it didn't stop us being tempted, but we're only human. The point is, we resisted :) .. then .. the cutest thing, that happens a lot actually, we get so cozy, and I lay with his head on my arm, snuggled to my chest, and he fell asleep. In my arms. Just the way it should be :) I made him listen to Just Like Heaven - The Cure too, as I sat on his lap cuddling him, I love that song soooo much.
Later I was a bit cold, so I lay snuggled up on his bed, drowning in his huge jumper [sweater] lol .. while he played Our Song [Metallica - Nothing Else Matters] to me on his guitar. We listened to it later on too, me snuggled on his lap like before .. and he whispered all the words to me.
I offered his dad my condolences before I left also. Frank was his dads dad y'see.
Urgh I miss him as soon as we are parted, always. Even before we're parted, I miss him already :'(
So, that was our yesterday.
I forgot to mention, he'd been drinking the night before, not like loads, but enough to be a little .. merry [that night, but not yesterday]. And he knows I hate alchohol so much, he made himself throw up before he came to meet me, to get it out of his system. That's how much he loves me, and respects me <3
I need to update on what's been going on with my fuckers for parents too. Twats, the both of them. Urgh.
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