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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Tomas caballero's Blurty:
| Sunday, March 30th, 2008 | |
| 4:29 pm | wohoo!!!!! I'm sitting here on the greyhound on my way to the valley to go visit my wonderful and beutiful girlfriend, and think I failed to mention the mother of my child. Wow I'm going to be daddy that's so fuckin intense but I honestly can't wait. Her name is ana and we've been togheter for about a year now. Taking the greyhound for me is always a surprising and interesting learning experience in a bad way lol. I think anything to do with public transportation your kinda expecting the unexpected. And the smells are interesting. *Ugh*, but enough about that. I updated today to express how I'm kinda afraid. The reoson I'm going out to the valley is to help ana move. Not just move ,but she's moving in with me. Its a big step I know but this girl is amazing she helps me out wit so much. Not just wit material things. Cause definately not after her money. The only way I can explain how she helps me. Is how jesus helped us escape sin. TRUE FUCKIN LOVE TE AMO CHRISTINA! Current Mood: anxious Current Music: Megadeath |
| Thursday, March 27th, 2008 | |
| 8:00 pm | oh don't worry Don't worry about a thing. cause every little thing is going to be allright. Oh cause I say don't worry about a thing cause every little thing is going to be allright..............I have a new purpose for living and its so amazing and its beyond me. And I don't think I realize it yet. Or it hasn't hit me. I'm just know I'm ready. I am I am Current Mood: exhale Current Music: bob marley-greatest hits |
| 2:44 pm | the great debate I'm a very lucky man. God has blessed me so many times over and over again. I don't think I will ever be ready to become a father. But I will teach my child my love and determination for things big or small. Wat I will try to avoid showing him/her is my bad habits. I love you ana but sometimes I'm scared that my love won't be enough. |
| Monday, March 24th, 2008 | |
| 1:00 pm | omfg I'm going to be a father |
| Tuesday, March 18th, 2008 | |
| 6:40 am | no idea Hello there world! Wow its been definately awhile that I've been on here. I guess better this time than ever. I have honestly never have been in a weirder point of my life. There's was a point between now then were I could say things were different. Well were shall we start, oh I did loose my job yesterday for the stupidest reason too. I went into work yesterday expecting to work. Apparently a client of mine complained about me smelling like pot and a manager agreed with her, and believe it or not without warning I was terminated. I no longer work for massage envy. Its as simple and as plain as mary jane.lol. Believe it or not a was shocked of coarse, but not as dissapointed as I should be. For some weird reason I know there's a better job for me out there. Please don't get me wrong that job was so convenient, chill, and laid back, but I know I can do better. Sigh. Like I said before everything looked so smooth, flush, and certain. Now I don't know. I know what I have to do I'm virgo I always do. I'm just afraid of it working out. There's a few things in my life that I know I have to change. But the thing that scares me to death is. I don't know what those things are. I need help. And I am screaming at the top of my lungs and I know. No one can hear me. I forgot how soothing and therapeutic this can be Thnx , peace & love I will deffinately be on here a lot more! |
| Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005 | |
| 12:18 pm | HERE WE GO AGAIN its funny how the way things work out, i never been confused about anything in my life and really i think im not but its scary too thing i might be. For a reason this girl does something to me. It makes me wonder why? Ive been threw many relationships good and bad and threw them all to only thing on my mind is her. She is an awesome person but why? its funny to think that im actually falling for her again knowing how much pain she has caused me before.........sux thats what it comes down to really. well whatever happens i dont want to loose her so maybe the best thing to do is the one that will end up hurting me more in the end. But for right now hes a poem hope you like it FOR you I was so used to the darkness Concealed by an opaque black sheet. Depression was my emotion And my taste had been bittersweet. Cloudy days of rain were all the same Almost drowned by the nonstop pour of rain. For all my mistakes, I'm the one to blame I built thick walls to defend from the pain. As a loner, friends and talking I'd avoid To stay hidden inside my sadness and gloom. Any wisps of happiness are always destroyed So I kept myself locked away in my room. But you have brought me to the light The black sheet you lifted off me. Chased depression away from sight Now only sweet is what I will be. You pushed away the clouds so I could see the sun I'm finally able to breathe in clear fresh air. You say they don't matter, all the bad things I've done The walls you take down as you say instead you'll be there. You are someone to talk to; you've become a friend Who brightens my mood before the darkness can start. You gave me moments of happiness that never end And with a key you unlocked the room in my heart. I'm grateful to you for bringing me to the light I'm thankful to you for setting my heart free I'm grateful to you for making my life right But most of all, I'm thankful to you for loving me. |
| Monday, February 14th, 2005 | |
| 9:42 pm | The Sun The past is a lesson taught and learned, the future is a day where the sun yet doesn’t burn. To make the sun come up that day, each of us must choose a way. The future is made, it does not come; you must work to raise the sun. To all you that need To open The mind and close thy mouth |
| 9:40 pm | TIME He who watches, he who waits The one who turns brown to gray The one who smiles as you tempt the fates He makes days change and ages pass and nothing stay He is eternal, watchful and grim Walking in silence, finding no end As he moves on you grow dim He will pass you by no matter how well you do fend He walks on laving you behind In his wake you will find rest and peace Release from the worry, the trouble, and the pain of mind Your eyes will close, your breathing cease He is the brother of life and of death He offers you an end, and another a start, a chance at worth. TItTI Current Mood: curious |
| 9:15 pm | The world lives on a Thread Its funny how things work how life seems to follow a cycle. How people get comfortable with there lives and think there on top of the world because of it. They take things for granted because they have everything but what they dont realize is that it all can be lost in an instant. And when that happens they come running to their so calles friends and beg for help why is that why society in general have that mindset. Is It wrong to live like every day is your last is it wrong to be careless. Why should you value your life if it can end at any moment nothing is garenteed nothing is safe then why care why waste time caring contemplating planning your life why cant you just live isnt that what you are supposed to do. I thought out of all people you would understand but i was wrong. Well there are so many people in this world that understand what my morals are why i live for and whom i truly love. Ive never regreted a thing in my life every action come with a consequence and you have to be responsible enough to face that responsibility. Ive taken a lot of risk and regret none because i faced that consequence. Careless i sure am i wouldnt be the man i am today if i did care. Why care there so many little things in life that really dont matter that people waste their lives thiking about. life is short especially now dont waste it. i feel sorry for all those who dont understand this Current Mood: disappointed |
| Wednesday, February 9th, 2005 | |
| 7:44 pm | thoughts flowing Inspired to write too bad the words aren't pleasant. Inspiration from sorrow my pencil flows on paper. Completed and read over the text brings sadness and pain. Exhausted and empty more words come to mind. Writing a poem about another, but still bad words. Emotions flowing onto paper then through keys. The second poem complete and I am still saddened. |
| 5:49 pm | NONE Love doesnt exist i know that now theres is no meaning to it FTW Current Mood: pessimistic |
| Wednesday, January 26th, 2005 | |
| 7:46 pm | hehe Take the quiz: "What's your theme song?" Take it easy The Eagles! You tend to be laid back and this song would totally fit your stoner-esque persona. |
| 7:41 pm | ummm... Take the quiz: "What Kinda Kiss R U?"  Tender Kiss The tender kiss is the feeling where you can be anywhere and show your feelings. |
| Tuesday, January 11th, 2005 | |
| 9:28 pm | And eventually the Rain Dies Hello to all well nothing much here exept not working and being fuckin bored out of my mine well on top of that im in love heh yeah with you all know who well me and Zareth are awesome and im just waiting to let things cool down for some reason ive been pretty busy been doing a lot of reviewing for final shit and every day in school seems like a eternity in hell meaning its sux Thank god for i PODs sure makes the day go much quicker well everything has been really crazy with weather and a lot of senior shit going on and wow maybe im making it harder than it really is i just need to graduate i hopefully ill do that well all else is fine have lots of things to consider but more on that later......have auditions this week SHIT i need to practice well as always wish me luck and pray for me ......till then thought turned deep Are we that we know ourselves? We are that we know ourselves. Chained as we are in this ceaseless rhythm. Chained as we are to know ourselves. Obliged and enforced by the sussurration: Ubilical mass that has all in tow. The blind unknowing of this sacred truth, will tear us apart and release the wound. Lie bleeding in to our agonies, lie bleeding in to our woes. Steeped in starvated caffienation I one of many write: In so reaching out this eve... catching glimpses of a dragonfly or some other bug... Disturbed by rain in a spiralling path it drove into the night. To be or not to be may be the question... Rot appears to be the answer. |
| Monday, January 3rd, 2005 | |
| 9:36 pm | Awesome quote Love me cause you can and not because you should. |
| 8:34 pm | Story Of Our Dying Day hey to all you fresh ones lol....umm so yeah x mas vacation has come and gone only thing good that came out of it was my girl friend Zareth which i miss soo much right now well i guess its good a little rest from work but hey i wasnt complaining with my last check *nudge*nudge* But now theres school and like always what did i learned today nothing well the only classes i enjoy are psych and government well i whish whings werent as slow as they are it seems ever since marching band has been over that each day seems like an eternity maybe i need to get a second job well i dont want to do anything to hasty cause when i do i end overwhelmed in the end....but i couldnt be happier for once theres nothing that my heart desires nothing which my mind is consumed by (man i miss my side burns) heh sorry getting a little random well some final words of insparation Fuck The World IMMORTAL Q's What is it about life, What is it in us all, That urges us forward, In a world where violence, From forces natural and not quite so, Does so greatly affect us all? For death is as much part of our existence, As our hearts do beat, And the world goes on. But with such heartache, In every day that passes, We still rise once more, After fall and fall again. We do not submit to the ages, Or collapse at a bump, A bump we run over so often, But we continue on, Chins to the heavens, Backs to the wall, Living this life, So cursed, To such great pain, That we will one day escape, But only to find again. Perhaps it is the few that have fallen, That could show us all what we have, Prove without a doubt the answer, That lies so dormant within, Yet quietly fighting for us all. Just maybe the answer is in the search. Could it be this search that we continue, As if our own meaning is what matters? Search or not, Meaning or nothing, I stop only to think, Moving ever closer, Only to find more questions, Yet finding more meaning, Than any answer could ever give. Current Mood: hot Current Music: Aerosmith- I Dont Want To Miss a Thing |
| Sunday, January 2nd, 2005 | |
| 12:14 am | WTF well happy new year to all well new years eve was great worked got off at a good time 8 which leaves a lot of room for the fetivities lol well either i had fun still did the whole i pod thing but not as planed but its ok well i spent my new years eve with to very close people my right hand man and my gurl it was cool something ill cherish.....but today dunno the whole day was weird i guess i mean yesterday *wing*wing*time* well like i was saying the first day of this new year was weird the whole scheduling at work was fucked up my head was pounding with pain no one noticed which benifited me well i hoped the rest of the day would be better but it really wasnt i found out something which kinda was the frosting on the cake if you know what i mean well for some reason i had this feeling inside that it was going to happen oh well all i can do know is forget about it and enjoy the time i do have with her well like i said everything happens for a reason well you know what FUCK REASON ......well theres a lot for me to think about im trying to but into meaning both the last day and the first but i doubt there is any meaning......wow its hard to imagine myself here 5 ..6 ..7 years ago its crazy how we change ...ignorance is bliss and right about now i wish i was Current Mood: cold Current Music: Anti Flag- Emo Sux |
| Thursday, December 30th, 2004 | |
| 5:47 pm | TO SUN SETS IN THE EAST wow my first day of in like forever its kinda cool but not all my friends are at work including my very close friend my girlfriend well if you read this I MISS YOU BABY well im taking this time to relax enjoy life cause you never now when it will end its great i couldnt be happier with life right now theres nothing in my head no questions clouding my mind and best of all NO FUCKIN REGRETS well i should take this time and practice knowing that Drum Core auditions will be very very soon so after writting this ill probably practice well in kind of sux you know x mas vacation slowly coming to an end and also the year wow the things i learned how much ive grown its crazy to think ive been threw alot this year but in all im glad its coming to an end cause with it a lot of new things will emerge..... well the new year is coming very very soon i still dont know what my new years resolution is i dunno i never really did have one anyway maybe its time to start dunno we will see but what i do need to do is focus on the things i love ... well on that note ill be off but as always heres something to think about i wrote this a long time ago dunno if ive ever showed this to anyone sooo Poetry Made To Truth I come to you de profundis Out of the depths, may passion follow. For we are all fighting bellum internecinum, A war of extermination between ourselves. Brutum fulmen, we strike blindly Our list growing as we so engage With all difficulties worthy of intervention; Dignus vindice nodus – de novo – tomorrow. For today we will play the fool, Dulce est desipere in loco. We watch as the wolf changes not his disposition, Lupus pilum mutant, non mentem; but his coat. Beware! There are many! All fools’ names are stuck upon the wall, Nomina stultorum parietibus haerent; The world wishing to be deceived, mundus vult decipi. No one is wise at all times, Let us have strength in our numbers; Nemo mortalium omnibus horis sapit - Trying to make a difference with our poetic fire. Current Mood: content |
| 12:29 am | HEY YOU wow was a wonderfull day indeed well i had to go to indio this morning to get some things *cough* ticket * well yeah like i said i had get stuff done after that was all said and done i went to the movies i havent had that much fun their since like the dark ages lol well yeah me and NOW my girfriend Zareth we watched national treasure which to my amesement was a very good movie i enjoyed but bummer we didnt get to see the end cause we both had to go to work so maybe some day ill get to see the rest i had a lot of fun well on the subject of me i just cant wait i dunno ive been very anxious i feel like at the edge wierd huh i dunno if its something all people go threw i feel like theres a lot i want to end and theres a lot i want to begin if any of you know what that means hopefully all will come to a resolve well ill talk more about that later well heres some body for the soul Emotional Anarchy Fighting for my isolation, in this World of constant conversation Where my thoughts cannot stay just mine Chaos rings throughout my blood with Emotions pumped by, all but of them but love Something I find hard to come by In these days, emotional anarchy Is hitting this world like a plauge It's dominating every day No one loves them, no one cares Even their father won't dare No brother to extend an open hand People fight just for themselves A common good not to be found Nothing is unified any longer Though unity is demanding It's a necessity to life Some think it with ill will But it will not bring you strife No, unity can accomplish What one man will fail at alone If we come together Stretch out a hand Bind to eachother Fight not for land But love, we will prevail No one can conquer everyone at once In these days, emotional anarchy Is hitting this world like a plauge It's dominating every day No one loves them, no one cares Even their father won't dare No brother to extend an open hand Fighting for my isolation, in this World of constant conversation Where my thoughts cannot stay just mine Chaos rings throughout my blood with Emotions pumped by, all but of them but love Something I find hard to come by EMOTIONAL ANARCHY IS HITTING THIS WORLD LIKE A PLAUGE- IT DOMINATES EVERY DAY NOBDODY LOVES THEM AND NOBODY CARES NO ONE IS THERE NO ONE IS THERE A UNIFIED SYSTEM DOES NOTHING BUT CRUMBLE A MAN NEEDS HIS FREEDOM THERE'S NOTHING TO CONQUER BUT LIFE EMOTIONAL ANARCHY IT DOMINATES EVERY DAY NO ONE IS THERE hope you like it |
| Tuesday, December 28th, 2004 | |
| 10:18 pm | JUST ANOTHER DAY The story of my life heh well today was a very good day stayed at home for most of the day cause i had to go to work at 5 so spent the day just enjoying home. well i did a lot of downloading many good bands a lot of you need to listen too like avengedsevenfold dimmu borgir wow theres a lot of good stuff out there that people neglect to open their minds too well i did go to work today i wasnt a complete bum it was pretty cool i was hoping to stay later having to pick up babbitt at 12:30 and all it was nice and fast and like always dumb people made it even harder but i live work dont know why i get to meet new people like my frien zareth shes really cute she goes to palm springs dont know much about her yet i hope i do get to know her a bit better well shes really cool and outgoing she makes working ther a alot easier yeah so dunno shit i still have to go pick him up oh well hes my right hand man i would do anything for that guy well till toomarow i hope you look forward to future post till to die is to be forgotten to live is to be remembered Current Mood: amused |