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Wednesday, July 2nd, 2003
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4:12p - watch the sass captain sassy-pants
so kim, heather and i had the great idea to make a mockmentary about those poor helpless idiots who populate offices across the country. you know the ones who can't do anything by themselves, don't know how to make copies and think the computer's broken because it's POWERED OFF. it would be great, and heather's a bio major, so she knows all sorts science stuff that we can use, you know, with evolution and darwinism and stuff. you know, how pretty much people with no survival instincts should have been bred out by now. jesus. i think it's time to thin the herd, honestly. anyway, i was telling some of my more evolved office-mates about this plan (and DON'T steal our idea, by the way. i keep all these emails and i will sue your ass. my best friend is in law school and she's super-smart.)
so i'm talking about this with my office-jerk co-horts and two of the vapid fuckwits about whom we'd be making this mockumentary walk up and horn in on the conversation. they decided that it would be much better to make an HOUR-LONG drama about life in our office.
"say what?" i said...
"yeah," they continued "that's such a super idea! we should get somebody to follow us around with a camera and then just...transcribe it or something! that would be so cool! everything that happens here is so interesting, i bet it'd make an awesome show!"
right. i bet it would. i mean, who wouldn't be thrilled by an *accurate* reflection of office life? not like the absurd parallel universe of or but true life, baby. i mean, every scene will just be chock-full of driving storylines. was i late today? where is the contracter going to sit? does jake really need a new printer? does jennifer want to eat lunch at il fornaio or at desert fire? will the creepy new guy in control enhancement stop staring at me? aren't you absolutely riveted?
i so hate them. but i really do hate most people, so i suppose that's not much of a surprise.
"i'd like to see russell crowe dance ballet, the fat kiwi"
current mood: restless
current music: black heart procession
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