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Saturday, May 3rd, 2003
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3:41p - PI-VOT!!!
so this is the thing: disneyland is the greatest place EVER. those signs that said "happiest place on earth" were so not shitting me. disneyland is so fucking awesome that i, quite frankly, am a little surprised that i even bothered coming back to seattle. i want to live in disneyland, dammit, LIVE there. i'm sure they could find room for me in sleeping beauty's castle. the only disappointing thing about the place was that i got to see every disney character in existence *except* for the one i really wanted to see, peter pan, who, for like 10 years, was my ideal of male perfection. would be still, i'm sure, were it not for the fact that he's like 12 yearsa old and i am not a pedophile. but yeah, that was pretty much the only downside, that and the wicked sunburn i picked up, but that is clearly my fault, not the fault of the magic kingdown, which, as far as i know can control neither my application of sunscreen nor the weather.
that said, i'd like to move on to a more pressing issue: how to maneuver through crowded areas. there are rules to this, first and foremost: look where you're going, dumbass. no matter how totally cool the matterhorn is, if you're walking, you must have both eyes on your foot course. if you're looking off to the side, you will most likely bump into passers-by and then give them a look as if it's his/her fault. that's just stupid. secondly, do not assume that your 2 year old is actually following you. in my experience, as soon as you let go of that child's hand, he/she will toddle over to the line for mr. toad's wild ride, forcing all other pedestrians to disrupt their walking patterns. this is counter-productive. also, you may never, ever, EVER walk more than three people abreast, and even that's pushing it. ideally, you would walk either single file or in groups of two. the reason for this is simple--if you, your husband, your five kids (three of whom are too old to be in strollers, but are in strollers regardless) and your grandma in the wheelchair are all pushing through the area side by side, you've effectively disabled all other foot-traffic. it's not like we're talking quantum physics here, people. common sense, really. lastly, if you are between the ages of 12 and 18 and you are without adult supervision, be advised that you are a nuisance and everybody hates you. it woud best serve your interest to keep to the side and out of the way of normal people. also, i am way too old for you. seriously.
"a black eye heals, but cowardice has an unlimited shelf life" "
current mood: bouncy
current music: postal service
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