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Saturday, April 19th, 2003
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3:04p - house of chicks, relax-i am a man and i have a tool
first order of business: could someone PLEASE draft a letter disabusing jennifer lopez of the notion that she can act or sing, because despite her vehement assertions to the contrary, i assure you, she can do neither. and on top of that, she stole my boyfriend, ben affleck. bitch.
secondly--here i am at work on saturday. why? well, because my group, you know the community service loving, frosted-hair, strappy-sandal-wearing frat/sorority kids decided that we should all come in and work on our business review for a couple of hours, then order lunch and bond. i, of course, didn't *have* to, but to quote my boyfriend from sports night (and currently, the west wing)--not fitting in is how qualified people lose jobs. although, it should be noted that i am not actually qualified, nor am i particularly worried about losing my job, however, in my case, not fitting in is now qualified people lose out on all the cake, candy and goodies the frat boys and sorostitutes pass out to the people they like. and i am definitely qualified to consume goodies.
of tertiary importance (tertiary--greatest word ever)--i need somebody to go out and kill stephen humphries because i want his job. he's the i love television guy who writes for the stranger and dude! i am way more funny and i think we can all agree that i watch WAY more television. and i'm probably cuter too. and much more modest. and i don't have a penchant for spelling "fuck" thus: "fawk." also--i think it's time the stranger started publishing columns by straight women. what, am i wrong? tell me how this is not a good plan. i'd kill him myself, but then that would look suspicious, you know?
"that night in minneapolis with the jagermeister, we didn't do anything untoward, did we?"
current mood: inconvenienced
current music: duran duran seven and the ragged tiger
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