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Thursday, March 13th, 2003
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9:39a - put a cork in it, zane!
so, breaking news in the garbage nest manager story:
let's examine the evidence, shall we? floor to ceiling garbage? check. 10 year old apple cores? check. piles of feces, human and canine? check. washing machine full of urine? check. all signs point to freak, right? right.
so this we have established, right? the whole freak thing? definitely, i'd say. so the man's a collossal weirdo. that's kind of sad, really, don't you think? he's just weird--i'm sure the man deserves some sympathy. i mean, let's face it, we're all pretty fucking weird, you know, i'm sure you sort your underwear by type and color, turn the lights on and off five times before you leave a room, lick eyeballs and suck armpits (at different times, bobo). we've all got our little idiosyncrasies and i think everyone i know is all the cooler for them...well, except for armpit sucking, that would be kind of gross, i imagine.
so dave can't throw anything away and he lives in filth...so the man's a freak...does that mean i ought to judge him? nay! let's not judge poor garbage dweller dave for being a total freakshow. let's judge him for being a total pervert because guess what else they found in that den of squalor? KIDDIE PORN! that's right, you heard me, kiddie porn, the nice samoan mormon clean-up crew found stacks and stacks of child pornography in that garabge nest. fucking fuck, you guys...i'ma tell you this much--you can be as freaky as you wanna be. build a shrine to your charlize theron in your closet. wear a hazard suit when you leave the house. bathe in egg whites, whatever, do what you want, but know this, some things are weird and some things are just wrong and you gotta pick your peccadillos carefully because the fomer will probably make me like you more while the latter will make me kick your ass.
"how does an asshole like bob get such a nice kitchen?"
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