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Sunday, February 23rd, 2003
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1:59p - i saw no third dimension
i think i'm dying. along with the sleepwalking and recurring sociopathic nightmares, I am tired all the time (which really might be a result of the sleep-issues) *and* i get weird tunnel vision. ooh, and i keep getting cramps, but i'm totally hydrated. clearly, i have a brain tumor. there's really no other feasible explanation as far as i can tell.
this could be worse, though. i mean, if i have a tumor, the odds are that i'll just drop dead as opposed to languishing and getting skeletal and baggy-eyed and bald and stuff. and i already have a will, so i'm covered in that. my mom has medical power of authority and she's already told me that i'm not being resuscitated or put on machines, so if i end up in the hospital, i won't be staying long. so basically, i'm ready to die, so come on with the death already! hey! are you listening to me? i'm *so* ready. you know what death means? it means not working anymore. it means not bustling down the hill through the fog at 8:00 AM and not having to deal with that kid at QFC who has a crush on me and not getting suckered into buying any more make-up i won't use by the girl at the benefit counter, godammit. and if there is like a heaven and stuff, death will be lounging on clouds with elvis.
actually, if there is a heaven, i sure as shit won't be going to it. come to think of it, death could mean red hot pokers and flames and that constant smell of rotting eggs and like eternal torment and stuff. okay, not ready to die--come on with the life!
after all, i may sleepwalk and kill people in my dreams and walk around in a haze all day, but life means lemon zucchini muffins from starbucks and reese's peanut butter cups.
"i really couldn't help but notice all the goats"
current mood: weird
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