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Monday, January 27th, 2003
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7:51p - desperation is a stinky cologne
oh sweet jesus, i've found the worst candy *ever.* you know how hersheys makes those nugget things? you know like the
inch square chunks of tasty chocolate? yeah. those are good. they come in a variety of flavors, it seems and i love them all: milk chocolate, chocolate with caramel, chocolate with creamy filling, milk chocolate with raisins, coconut and almonds...hey
wait, what? milk chocolate with raisins, coconut and almonds? what the hell is that? that's like the most horriffic
bastardization of chocolatey goodness that ever lived. does that sound good to you? does it? maybe it's just because i hate
raisins. i fucking hate raisins, man. you know what raisins are, right? they're grapes that weren't good enough, that's all they are.
but raisins and chocolate are incindental, really. there was this superbowl party at work yesterday and man, did i see a side of the office i've never seen before and hope to never see again. all the menfolk had gotten there at 8, worked four hours and then hit the keg. oh yeah, there was a keg in the conference room. it's still there in point of fact. yeah, so by 3:18, they
were apparently already quite plastered. by 4:00, when i showed up, three of my bosses were piss drunk, salsa had been thrown against the window, amy newton and rob geary were making out in the supply room, and jake from production
had xeroxed his ass and plastered the copies down the hallway. oh bet on it. the best part though, was the soft serve machine that they brought over from the tully's across the street. it took me two servings to figure out that i could crumble cookies over the top. then, by the time i'd had four, i figured i might as well make a meal out of it and twirled myself another two scoopy things. and that's when the cold headache set in. and about twenty minutes later, dan chase puked in the trash bin under kevin pitt's desk. good times. i left soon after and went to some friends' apartment and boycotted the rest of the
superbowl. fuck football, says i. i actually ended up staying up pretty much all night, but that's another story, nevermind, anyway...
if i may, in closing, a question:
what the fuck did billie joe mccallister throw off the tallahatchee bridge, godammit?! seriously, i really want to know and bobbie gentry isn't telling.
"i had nothing to do with the devil dogs. i trained flying demon monkeys to attack the school play. school play, dude! "
current mood: hungry
current music: snoop dogg
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