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Friday, October 24th, 2003
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10:41 am - he's out. you're out too. i don't think i'm in either. no gang!
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okay. i'm going to stop writing here and continue writing there. is that okay with you? even though there is not quite finished, i like it better than here. and it's easier, i swear. so please, join me there. i've taken the liberty of pasting the most recent entries over there so as not to confuse. keep in mind that i'm still tweaking over there, so it's not perfect. and never will be, i'm sure.
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9:52 am - in numbers too big to be ignored
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i'm of the non-religious vein, if you must know. i guess. i suppose i don't really fit in any of those molds, really--i just don't really care either way. i don't know if there is/are (a) higher power(s) and i don't much feel like wasting my limited mental capacities debating an unresolvable issue.
that said, there's been a bit of a rhubarb over this mel gibson flick The Passion. it is, apparently, an ambitious (the dialogue is in various ancient languages: hebrew, aramaic, latin) and yet traditional (faithful to the new testament gospels) production that may or may not also be broadly anti-semetic. i haven't seen the film, so i can't and won't judge, but i will say this: if there is a god, mr. gibson--he wants you to shelve this movie. the other day, jim cavaziel, the actor playing jesus, and the assistant director of the film were struck by lightning during filming. they are both alive and recovering well. this is not the first, but the second time that the AD has been struck by lightning while on set. now, i'm not really up on god and violence and all that, but maybe someone else can tell me: is it still considered 'smiting' if the person doesn't die?
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| Thursday, October 23rd, 2003
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9:02 am - but i make up for it with cunning and guile
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in other news: elliot smith died yesterday. and by "died," i mean "apparently committed suicide by way of a knife to the chest." this makes me sad as i felt that he was gifted. i am, however, not surprised, and all of this wailing and "what a shock" on mtv2 is so irritating. was anybody actually *surprised* that elliot fucking smith killed himself? i was surprised that he hadn't done it earlier, frankly. have you ever listened to any of his songs? i guarantee you, you slip in his s/t (the cover art for which appears to show people jumping from buildings) and i guarantee you will feel like killing yourself. now imagine how fucked up you have to be to write that sort of shadowy despair?
and also, why is it that i've yet to read an article that mentions his total smack-head-edness?
sigh.
i'm just sad. not mad. but really.
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| Monday, October 20th, 2003
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10:11 am - when the world falls down...
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am i a republican for agreeing with almost everything that ainsley hayes ever says? because i really don't think i am. is it possible to agree with certain republican principles and still be a democrat? because everything the show has her say (as listed below) is pretty much me, right on the money.
I believe that every time the federal government hands down a new law, it leaves for the rest of us a little less freedom. So I say, let’s just stick to the ones we absolutely need to have water come out of the faucet
and our cars not stolen. That is my problem with passing a redundant law.
This White House that feels that government is better for children than parents are. That looks at forty years of degrading and humiliating free lunches handed out in a spectacularly failed effort to level the playing field and says, 'Let's try forty more.' This White House that says of anyone that points that out to them, that they are cold and mean and racist, and then accuses Republicans of using the politics of fear. This White House that loves the Bill of Rights, all of them - except the second one.
I oppose the ERA because it’s humiliating! A new amendment that we vote on, declaring that I am equal under the law to a man. I am mortified to discover there’s reason to believe I wasn’t before. I am a citizen of this country. I am not a special subset in need of your protection. I do not have to have to have my rights handed down to me by a bunch of old, white men. The same Article 14 that protects you, protects me. And I went to law school just to make sure.
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9:52 am - a pirate's life for me
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how do you think i'd look with a peg leg? would that be sexy, you think? i ask because i totally fucked up my foot. it feels a lot like the stress fractures i used to get in high school with i participated in volleyball, track & field and volleyball all during the same semester. don't ever do that by the way. it's not good for your health. anyhow, i have to totally tiger balm it up and wrap it at night and i'm way limping. i feel very silly and self-conscious, like everyone's looking at the girl with the gimpy foot.
will you still be my friend if i'm crippled?
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9:18 am - a family of geniuses
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heeeeee. witness this exchange between my sister and myself. we had very high sat scores, for serious.
Lissa: I think I want to be the Wonder Twins for Halloween. I can be whichever one turns into the animal and then carry around a bucket of water.
Ahe: that's hilarious. which one turns into water? it's zan, right?
Lissa: Is Zan the boy?
Ahe: yes? i'm not sure. wait, is it zan and jayna or zayna and jan?
Lisa: I don't know. Which one would the girl be?
Ahe: Jan. or Jayna.
Lissa: I think "Zayna" is a girl's name.
Ahe: and "jan" is a boy's name?
Lissa: Jan Michael Vincent is a boy.
Ahe: okay, first off, his name is "jan-michael," not "jan" and second, shut up.
Lissa: Okay, well, the girl turns into the animals, right? And the boy turns into water?
Ahe: i thought the girl turns into water.
Lissa: you thought styrofoam was edible.
Ahe: I WAS THREE!!!!! ... here , hold, on, I'll look it up. Here: http://www.supermanhomepage.com/images/superfriends/wonder-twins1.jpg
It's jayna (girl) and zan (boy). and you're right--the boy turns into water.
Lissa: You are the best. You know what would be great, a Jayna in the shape of an elephant & Zan in the shape of a bucket of water. Then I could spray people all day.
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| Sunday, October 19th, 2003
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2:49 pm - monkey see, monkey KILL
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meanwhile, back at the ranch:
i've been watching this tarzan show on the WB. not because i had a real interest in it, but because your friend and mine, scott g. miller is working for the show, which is super exciting. so i watch the first episode and get totally psyched because skinner from the x-files is on the show and that fucking rocks. i love that guy so much...oh, and he's BAD and bad mitch pileggi is awesome. the lead female, jane is doing a good job, i guess. i like her, she's pretty, she doesn't seem like a flighty WB woman. i know that i've seen her on something else, but i don't know what. by the second episode, i still haven't figured out where i've seen her before and it's starting to bother me, but i'm not motivated enough find out her name and google her. so, yesterday, i'm on the phone with my sister and she says, oh, by the way...dad said that some girl you went to school with is on some tv show...and all the pieces fall together and i'm like, oh holy shit! that's sarah callies! jane is sarah callies, that is so fucked up! i look it up, and it's true: the woman who plays jane on the WB's tarzan is sarah callies, a girl with whom i went to high school. you'll notice in her bio that she went to an "exclusive private school..." what bullcrap. all you needed was money, legacy or high than average intelligence. but regardless, how weird is that? i mean, i was in two plays with this girl, the mikado and the king and i . she was two years ahead of me, so she was the super-cool musical theatre genius, of course. that girl could really sing. oh, and, the reason why i didn't recognize her is that she was a blonde in high school. yeah. not so much any more.
so it's weird. people i know in high school: 1 on national tv, 2 writing for findlaw.com, 2 playing for national league baseball teams, 4 on broadway, a couple are models, at least 3 have been published, oh, and i went to school with amanda schull, the girl from that ballet movie center stage. it seems that people who knew me 8 years ago are destined for greatness.
stick with me kids, you won't regret it.
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1:18 pm - i ate-d the purple berries!
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as previously discussed, i likes the girl magazines, the fashion rags, if you will. the writers bandy about such phrases as "cult products" or "underground items" to make you think that certain products are hip and indie and only used by people in the know, when what they really mean is that the label or brand is up-and-coming, ridiculously over-priced and difficult to find because their sales bases are currently small and/or regional. there's a certain prestige to owning something that is scarce or hard-to-find...i'm not sure why, but there is. i know people who will go to canada to purchase lush products...and it's fucking like soap and bubble bath, what the fuck? there are people willing to TRAVEL to get their hands on such cult favourites, it's bizarre.
i, on the other hand, am a bit too lazy for such endeavors, but when i noticed that good old barney's carried items from the duwop line, i found myself incapable of resisting the urge to spend 15 bucks on a thimble-full of "cult product" lip venom. i read like a year ago that christina ricci swears by it, and really, you can't go wrong with christina ricci (unless vincent gallo is involved, but that's another story altogether). it's supposed to tingle and make your lips fuller and redder, and it does, it really does. i looked as if i'd been making out for an hour and then ate some greasy chicken. it accomplishes this apparently, by burning the shit out of your lips. this stuff is like cinammon-flavor acid; it BURNS. and i kinda like it. sure, for a few seconds, you think the skin on your lips is going to peel off, but it doesn't and then it sizzles softly. i wouldn't suggest putting it on and then sharing a drink with someone, though. it could prove an unpleasant surprise.
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1:00 pm - he's so little, but he tries so big!
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woke up this morning, sat on the couch and flipped on the old tv at around 8:30. i click on the digital cable guide and browse a bit, fully expecting to find nothing on the tube. it is after all, sunday, and sunday television before 6:00 PM is a vast wasteland of broken dreams. then, i noticed a single word title on channel 53. "rudy." oh yes, rudy, the little fella who wants nothing more than to be on the notre dame football team and make his family proud. so i watched the whole thing and i learned three things 1) it is possible to weep so soundly that your chest hurts; 2) i love sean astin to death and 3) i want my goddamn lord of the rings: the two towers special expanded edition RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!!! where is it?!?!?!
sigh.
current music: the chills
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| Thursday, October 16th, 2003
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3:36 pm - abjection is above all ambiguity
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i wasn't going to update today, being all in a tizzy about finishing up this little blurby mcgee for the big boss man. i wasn't gonna. thought to myself, "nothing will stop me from bringing the funny. must concentrate on silly dinner speech." the severity of this particular issue trumps that thought. you see, i read the girl magazines. i pick up cosmo, jane, allure, glamour, nylon, paper, marie-claire, british glamour, french marie-claire and lucky (oh lucky, my holy grail of magazines...how i worship at your capitalistic altar) every month in addition to bust, bitch, mojo, premiere, the economist, time, APM, empire, no depression, atlantic monthly, utne, filmmaker, mcsweeney's, and martha stewart living. oh holy shit i read a lot of magazines. i actually have to take out stacks once a month; i must literally take two trips to the bin.
okay, my point being: i read the fashiony girlie rags. i know what's all hip and shit, at least in NYC and LA. doesn't mean i wear high heels with pointy toes...i mean, really. why would i do that? mmm, how about i can't feel my toes? that sounds good! right. so i know that minis, especially pleated minis are all in this year. in for summer! in for fall! in for winter, yay! when it gets cold...pair with opaque tights for a mod look. so, i figure, my butt's smaller than it used to be and i've got 8 feet of legs...why not? i've been doing that, the mini thing. not every day, but at least once a week i wear a pleated mini, tights and flat shoes and a chunky sweater so as not to look like a whore. did that today. my skirt is red. i like it. it's short. i have tights on, but you can see my red underwear through them. so, i go outside, expecting seattle rain. i get HURRICANE FORCE WIND, sweet jesus. my hair is all in my face, getting stuck in my lip gloss, which of course i'm wearing because cosmo loves lancome juicy tubes! then, as i'm crossing the street in front of four lanes of traffic...guess whose skirt flies right up? guess whose skirt flies up and she's only got one hand to keep it down so oncoming traffic, passers-by and the homeless guys across the street all get a nice old view of her ass and undies?
that'd be me, bob.
i hate my life.
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| Wednesday, October 15th, 2003
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10:05 am - i shan't be coerced
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i'm going to be pretty quiet around here for the rest of the week probably. i'm trying desperately to focus on this stupid speech, plus the Optis presentation i need to cobble together for larry's meeting tomorrow. i'm sort of freaking out a smidge, but i'll be okay. i will totally bring the funny and killinger will love it, i swear. i was wallowing (in freakish misery, for-evah) a bit in the pressure of it all, but thanks to kim draggoo (who, sadly, doesn't have a website that i can link to here, that i know of), i've got it all in perspective. it was something about frodo being able to make it all the way to mount doom when he's only a little fella, but i don't expect you to have the same emotional connection to tolkien that we do.
current mood: wary, but calm
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| Tuesday, October 14th, 2003
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1:43 pm - you pushed the panic button, didn't you?
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aw shit. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, shit. i'm getting a little jumpy over here, a little shaky and i don't know what to do. forgive the pointless rambling that will, most likely, follow shortly hereafter. as you have been told, previously, by me, i am, one would say, and i have already, that i am now the sam seaborne of my division. i write speeches. i draft presentations. i don't understand what i'm saying, or rather, what is being said by others after having been written by me, but i find a nice way of saying it nonetheless.
washington mutual is, as has been earlier noted, a touchy-feely sort of corporation and as such is given to employee gatherings, galas, shindigs, hootenannys and whatnot. my main boss is one of those higher-up management SVP types and is, from time to time, expected, at these gathersings, galas, shindigs, hootenannys and whatnot, to give short speeches of the after-dinner variety. these speeches, given by him, are written by me. he could probably write them himself, but i, apparently, can bring the funny. right. so kerry killinger. i'd lnk you to my work homepage, but it's a protected site, so i can't. kerry killinger. he is the chairman, president and CEO of washington mutual. he is also on the board of directors of SAFECO. he is, in blunt terminology, the big boss man.
so kerry killinger, the big boss man. he heard larry give a speech, written by me, of the after dinner variety. he complimented larry on said speech. larry credited me. today, a mere 43 minutes ago, i was contacted by mr. killinger's office and tapped to write for him. not on an exclusive basis, i mean, just when he's got some sort of little thing that needs the funny to be brought and only for such occasions that fall within my division. so probably once every two months.
one, however, for the HLIS-BFS merge executive luncheon needs to be written by the end of this week.
WHAT?!?! wha-no-wha?!!? just the fucking thought of having to do anything for the big boss man practically makes me pee my pants and now i have to like write something for him? i can't write! i can't, i can't! look at the above paragraph, i mean, i've turned into a low-rent ainsley hayes, godammit! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
okay. i think i'm okay now. i need warm chocolately goodness. accio hot cocoa with extra whip!!!
current mood: panicky
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11:56 am - and the fish says, "with friends like this, who needs anemones?"
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somebody around the office started a vicious rumor that i am a vegetarian. where the hell did that come from? i eat the meat and ah likes the meat (except for red meat..i like a hamburger 4 or 5 times a year, but other than that i think it tastes gross)! in fact, this slate article reminded me how much i like whale. not only are whales intelligent and cute, but they are tasty creatures to boot. and you know what else i like? fowl. chicken, duck, goose, guinea hen, turkey, you name it, i love it to death, expecially when in conjunction with butter, garlic, shoyu, lemon or capers. YUM. also beloved by me: seafood and shellfish. especially tuna and salon and crab. and i wouldn't say no to rabbit, veal, lamb. especially veal and lamb. you know baby animals taste way better than the full-grown kind.
i have no problem with vegetarians. they can do whatever the hell they want because, really...why would i care? those seattleveg.com commercials are starting to piss me off, though. oh, i'm so much better than you because i don't hurt the animals and i'm all moral and shit, and that's what gets me man. if you want to convince me to stop eating the meat, you need to use the Fast Food Nation approach, okay? tell me the horrible dirty details about cows wallowing in manure and eating food that has been sprinkled with livestock waste and that thing about how they kill the animals in terrible ways so that they're scared when they die so the noradrenalin or whatever floods their system and makes the meat taste weird.
see, that stuff--that might work. it hasn't yet, but that's because i figure EVERYTHING i eat must be bad for me or worse. anything that comes in a package with a list of ingredients that is more than two items long is probably not as good for you as fresh produce and grains, and even that crap is generally industrially grown. preservatives, artificial ingredients, pesticides, synthetic fertilizers, this and that. the way i look at it, it would be hypocritical of me to cut meat for those reasons and not cut all pre-packaged foods and fuck me if i'm going to be one of those fifth-level vegans who don't eat anything that casts a shadow. cookies are beautiful. three muskateers bars are glorious. twinkies have a time and a place, but it it is that time and i'm in that place: fantabulous.
so, right. that other thing about it being immoral to eat animals. fuck that. i don't have morals. morals imply standards of right and wrong and i don't believe in right and wrong. and seriously...if we didn't eat them, they'd eat us. you know it's true.
but if anybody asks, my one-liner answer is hitler was a vegetarian and that's why i eat meat.
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9:13 am - and it's greatly to his credit
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at last, at long last: the pill for men. well, it's not actually a pill. some australian researchers have released a study on a newly developed form of male birth control that consists of progestin and testosterone injections. injections, you say? injections. it's an every three months thing, which renders the belonephobia excuse practically null. this has the potential to be really fucking cool.
you'll notice i say "potential." first of all, according to this article, this is a first study and there will be many more over many years before the final drug will be available. if this stuff hits the market in 5 years, i'll be 28. i'm assuming it won't get into popular rotation for a couple of years later. i'm hoping that by the time i hit 30, i won't be sleeping around as much, and, as such, will have less to worry about in the pregnancy boat. also, it's not that i don't trust men to be responsible about birth control--i know how important it is, especially to guys my age. i was recently at a party at susan's house in tacoma (ah, sweet tacoma) and dan, will, karl and some other guy whose name i don't know all agreed that their greatest fear is getting a girl pregnant, which says a lot, considering that my greatest fear is death by fire. in fact, my top ten greatest fears involve death or harm of self or loved ones. pregnancy ranks fairly low for me...i think it would be in the 20's...somewhere after "poverty," but before "baldness."
so, yeah, i get it. boys don't want to get girls pregnant unintentionally. but even so, in my experience, boys play it fast and loose with condoms if they're not concerned with std's and most fellas assume that girls are on some form of birth control, which is a pretty ridiculous assumption. i'm not on the pill and not because i "don't believe in taking hormones" as seems to be so in style these days, but because i'm lazy and would rather use condoms...and i think i can say the same is true for guys, except not only are they lazy, but they would rather *not* use condoms. also, guys lie a lot. i'd like to be clear on this: i'm only talking in my experience here, okay? when i say "guys," or "men," i mean "guys or men that i know or have dated or have heard stuff about from other girls." when you add up the lazy and the not wanting to use condoms thing, what i imagine is a future where guys can be lazy and not wear condoms, but lull women into a false sense of security by lying and telling us they're on the man-pill.
so basically, when i said that "it's not that i don't trust men to be responsible about birth control," what i meant is "i don't trust men to be responsible about birth control."
current mood: lackadaisical
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| Friday, October 10th, 2003
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9:39 am
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did anybody catch the phoenix debate? i had a hankering to try out slate's Democratic Debate Drinking Game, but i got a pass for a free previews of Mystic River, which was AWESOME. with the exception of Unforgiven, i've never been impressed with clint's directorial abilities, but this movie was freaky good, i swear to god. i've read reviews that have said that it was a disappointing adaptation of the book, but i haven't read the book, so like i give a shit. it was totally intense...kind of gave me a stomach ache, really. and on top of that, it stars three of the greatest actors in living history: sean penn, tim robbins and lawrence fishburn. man, they act so well they make my heart hurt, especially sean penn, and speaking of sean penn...i still don't understand how it is that nobody but me and like 10 other people are on the sean penn is the best actor ever bandwagon. sure, he's been in some bad movies, but has he ever actually *been* bad in them? he even turned out an good performance in Shanghai Surprise and that movie, by all rights, should have killed the careers of everyone involved. how good was he in colors, the thin red line, hurlyburly, casualties of war, sweet and lowdown, state of grace, i am sam, the weight of water, carlito's way, u turn, dead man walking (of course), taps...am i missing anything, am i? i think playing spicoli in fast times at ridgemont high might have branded him forever as...well, spicoli. maybe that's it. and that whole married to madonna thing. but fuck that, sean penn is godly. and kinda hot too, but that's just me.
i was talking about something else before i got on the sean penn topic, wasn't i? oh, the debate. so did anybody pick that up? i've read a couple of articles, but nothing's ever as good as a first hand account from a discerning source. also, i'd like to know if i'm right: i'm betting clark, edwards and dean took off their jackets and pushed up their shirtsleeves at some point. am i right? and leiberman kept his on...but if he did take it off, he looked very awkward doing so.
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9:00 am - HULK MAD!!!!
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we're having some screwy server issues around here, so EVERYTHING is all slow and dumb and i'm getting cranky as a result. i've gotten a couple pop-up messages telling us that WMT03 is low on space and we have to delete stuff and whatnot, and i was like, dudes...isn't it your job to make sure we have ENOUGH space? i mean, it's not like we're cluttering the place up with downloaded music and pornography or anything. databases take up a lot of fucking space, man.
this is, of course, all made better by the fact that monday is a holiday. woo-hoo! i'm going to do the day off dance, okay. it's much like the sushiland dance, only with less butt movement. oh, and the day off dance must be done while seated.
in other news, me and the west wing are pretty much officially through. this is especially sad as a) this has been a four year relationship and b) this has never happened to me before. i have never abandoned a show mid-series, at least not on purpose. i've been unable to catch some episodes here or there, but i've always made it up during repeats or had someone tape it for me or as a last resort, lived off of the re-caps at Television Without Pity. but just to stop watching? to purposefully watch another show at the same time and make no effort to even switch over during the commercials? it's the tv viewer's equivalent of going down to the store for a pack of cigarettes and never coming back... it just seems so cold. i feel like i'm betraying the characters i've come to love and the actors i've come to REALLY love and want to have babies with. how could you do this to me, guys? i've been wary of expressing this sentiment, but i think i have to: there are no two ways around it, the west wing sucks ass without aaron sorkin. i feel so betrayed. john wells: you can suck it, okay? not even a marvelously stunt-casted gary cole as the new cowboy vice president can save this ickily written schlock. if i had human feelings, i would seriously cry, man. it's just not the show i loved anymore and i don't think i'm totally out of line in seeking an annulment to our union.
i take television way too seriously.
current mood: sad
current music: the liars
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| Wednesday, October 8th, 2003
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3:24 pm - fact, dignan, the picture's not doing it for me
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i just read that ah-nold is going to re-open the books and examine the california state budget. hopefully, he'll be able to formulate a comprehensive strategy for the budget. He'll have no problem doing this as he has an undergraduate degree in Economics and an MBA.
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9:25 am - celebrate good times, come on!
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hey there, california, aren't you totally thrilled? i bet you are. and so am i. it just proves what i've said all along--california is the crappiest state of them all. being married to a kennedy is not a substitute for actual political credentials. neither is being an international movie star, an ex-body builder, or the terminator. (and yes, i can spell his name [see post below about things/people that can bite me], i just don't wanna.) what are you gonna do now, california? come and talk to me next year when the governor of california is floundering in a political morass and the sexual harassment suits are lined up around the block. maybe, if you don't like him, you can get some assassain robot from the future to go back in time and take him out.
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| Tuesday, October 7th, 2003
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3:33 pm - trees are fucking falling
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you know that re-org i was chatting about earlier? the new head of our division, my new boss-lady is...deanna oppenheimer. she's the head of the board of trustees of the universoty of puget sound. she's like best friends with that skinny bird-legged bitch we call madam president. details to follow.
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9:48 am - telling people that she dreams of me being castrated-florentine is healthy?!?!
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i know that when other people tell me about their dreams, it always bored the snot out of me...unless i'm in it. so, just pretend you're in this dream okay? so last night, i had the BEST DREAM EVER. not like a ewan mcgregor sex dream or anything, but it was like this whole movie, except i was in it. i wish i could remember more of it, because i could totally sell this to jerry bruckheimer and make a zillion dollars.
so, my dream. we're (and i say "we" because most of the friends i have now figure prominently in the plot) living in post-apocalyptic seattle. i'm not sure what exactly happened to destroy most of the world's population, but when it happened, me and rachel and jamie (which is weird since i don't hang out with those two girls usually) were at the seattle center and we saw the space needle collapse on top of the EMP. that was cool. so blah blah blah, eventually, the survivors gather in the underground city and we re-build. kind of like in robotech, how the humans re-construct macross city inside that zentraedi spaceship, you know? man. robotech is awesome.
anyway, 10 years later, all of the survivors have built this perfect new civilization. then our scientists tell us that it's okay to go outside because the stuff that could have killed us before should be gone by now...we send out an exploratory team (which, of course, consists of me, rachel, jamie and a few other people.) everything outside is destroyed...but in a cool way, like buildings haven't really collapsed, they've just tilted and rested on other buildings or bent over backwards. it's cool. we scout around and find the requisite human remains and such...and then we see some stuff that looks kind of familiar. we look up and we see the space needle that has fallen on top of the EMP and we realize that we're standing in the same place we were standing when whatever it was that happened, happened. and then the space needle falls again and we run like the dickens, narrowly escaping being crushed to death.
i don't remember what happens next, but there was something about a camp, so i'm assuming we found more surivors.
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