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Well, there's no way I'm going back to sleep after that, so I might as well get this out of my system before I have to get up in an hour.
God, I haven't had a bad dream in a while. I don't know why I still have trouble sleeping in this room. Makes me wonder if I'll ever outgrow this.
Okay. Little explanation required first. While driving home on Friday, Dad told me that we're going on vacation over Easter break. I'm not too excited about this plan, because (1) my idea of what makes a good vacation is completely different from that of the rest of my family, and (2) we won't be going to see extended family on Easter. We're going to stay at a cabin in the woods somewhere in Kentucky. Supposedly there's a lodge there that has racketball and a pool and a golf course and stuff. But it's Easter, for pity's sake, I don't want to be out in the woods, I want to see my family. Also, it'll be five days without a computer, which doesn't make the plan sound any better to me.
Other bit of backstory that you need to know is that Kevin, Ben, and I were home alone on Friday night while our parents were visiting a college with Brian. It was a four-hour drive and their appointment was early yesterday morning, so they stayed the night at a hotel.
So I woke up at four o'clock this morning for apparently no reason at all. I couldn't get back to sleep, so I was laying awake thinking. I thought about our planned Easter vacation and what the cabin would be like. I also thought about the fact that I wouldn't be able to see family on Easter. I've been thinking more and more often lately that each time I see my grandma anymore may well be the last. Her health is getting generally worse, nothing serious, but she's old and you never know what might happen. Then I thought about how it's going to hit me hard when it does happen, because the last time someone close to me died was my grandpa about ten years ago, so I have very little experience with death in general.
It started to storm while I was awake. Around 5:30am, I kinda drifted into sleep and I started dreaming. It started off well enough. I was at a play that must have had something to do with Hagaren, because I met the actor playing Al in his movie outfit and I wanted to take a picture of him but couldn't find my camera.
After that, I guess I must have driven somewhere, because the next thing I remember clearly is being at our cabin. Yes, that cabin. I figure because I was thinking about it so much while I was awake, I dreamed that we were on vacation. Anyway, it was nighttime, and dark and thunderstorming and raining pretty hard. Brian, Dad, and I were in the cabin; Mom, Kevin, and Ben were out somewhere.
The doorbell rang. It was the side door (for some reason, the cabin was designed like our house, even though I'm sure it was the cabin and we were on vacation) off of the kitchen, and Brian and I were sitting in the kitchen at the moment. Dad didn't want to open the door because it was dark and we were out in the middle of nowhere and had no idea who it might be. He turned off all the lights so it would seem like no one was here.
Brian thought it was Mom and said something like, "Oh, just open the door for your wife."
Dad was kinda scared, I think. He couldn't decide what to do about it.
Here's how it was set up (which is the same as my house): You open the side door and you're in the laundry room, but if the laundry room door is open, you can see straight through the kitchen, through the spot where our dinner table is, through to the living room, and it's a straight walk through there. The laundry room door was open, and I remember looking through that door and seeing a man I had never seen before standing outside in the rain. Dad saw him, too, and decided not to open the door.
Brian and I were sitting on stools at a counter that divides the kitchen from the area where our dinner table is. Dad was walking away, on that straight line from the side door.
All of a sudden, I heard the deadbolt turn. I thought, oh, he has a key, he must be the owner of this cabin or a park ranger coming to check on us.
I heard the door open and a man stepped in. (Strangely enough, I don't think it was the same man who I saw standing outside the door.) He walked into the kitchen.
It was dark, because Dad had turned out all the lights, so I couldn't see clearly, but I'm pretty sure he had a gun, and he was pointing it at Dad.
Needless to say, I woke up exactly then. I looked at the clock and it was around 6:30, so I must have been asleep for some time, even though it didn't really feel like I had slept.
I think I know why I had this dream. For starters, I was doing a lot of thinking about vacation, so of course I dreamed about it. I'd been thinking about how I'm going to handle it when someone in my family dies, so I dreamed that, too.
But the biggest one is that last night, while I was home alone with my brothers, I started thinking about what I'd do if someone broke into the house. I pictured different scenarios, like someone coming in the side door and I'd grab something heavy off the kitchen counter and try to knock him out. I thought about what I'd do if he had a gun and thought that I'd have to get the gun away from him, then threaten him with it while we called 911 or waited for the police to come. I wondered if I'd be able to shoot him if he looked like he was going to hurt someone or pull out another gun or something.
So, that was my wonderful dream. >_> I think maybe I need to not come home anymore. This house makes me afraid at nighttime, because I was afraid of the dark when I was little, and it's become such a habit that I still do it and I can't sleep.
If I hear the doorbell ring when it's dark outside anytime in the next week or so, I think I'll just have a heart attack and die on the spot. And if it's supposed to thunderstorm while we're on vacation, I think I'll sabotage the cars or something so we can't go.
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ETA, 7:56am:
I remember what the guy looked like. I'd recognize him if I saw him.
I think I liked dreaming about Kamui better.
~DF
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