Die, die my darling. <3's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
Die, die my darling. <3

[ website | Deadjournal ]
[ userinfo | blurty userinfo ]
[ calendar | blurty calendar ]

[15 Dec 2004|05:58pm]
[ mood | optimistic ]
[ music | 7th Heaven on tv ]

Well, things have been better lately. I've been happier, and stuff like that. Me and Rogan "got back together" a while ago, so that had something to do with it, I think. Uhm...there's nothing else I really feel like discussing, so I guess I'll leave it at that.
Ta ta.

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here i am expecting just a little bit too much from the wounded [01 Nov 2004|10:00pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | three libras//apc ]

Things were really good for a while. I was seriously..the happiest I've been in such a long time. But now everything has completely gone to shit. I feel so helpless, because I know it's over, and I know there's nothing I can do. Even if I could do something to make it all better, things..wouldn't actually get better. It was all a big fucking lie. I don't think he ever really cared about me like he said. He didn't care half as much as I did.

It's sad that all good things have to end.
And it's also sad when things you think are good...aren't.

I know I don't need him to be happy, and I know I'll be okay even though things are over. Thinking about us not being together isn't even the bad part. I just hate looking back on everything that was so great, and everything that made me so happy. Everything that made me think he cared. I'm probably just blowing this way out of proportion..but it hurts. It really fucking hurts.

I probably won't be updating this for a long time.

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and even though nobody's looking she's falling apart [20 Sep 2004|06:35pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | she's falling apart//lisa loeb ]

My mouth is really really cold because I just ate like..12 ice cubes. Or maybe less, I was just guessing. It feels like 12 though. Brrrr.

Tonight is probably not going to be very exciting. I'll probably do my homework, take a shower, and talk to Rogan on AIM. He's one of the few people I enjoy talking on the phone with, so I might call him if he doesn't get on in a while. Kelsey and I talked about doing something tonight but that was at 5...and now it's almost 7. So I'm kind of doubting that will happen, and there wouldn't be much of a point since I'd have to be home at 8:30 or 9. Oh well. Maybe tomorrowwww.

I hope I'm off my period soon. :(

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we're just two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl year after year [18 Sep 2004|08:47pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | wish you were here//rasputina ]

I haven't updated this in a while, basically because I haven't had anything to update about. Me and Kelsey are just at my house watching movies and things like that because there's nothing else to do. We hung out with Josh, Blaine, Brian, and Spencer for the first time in forever today. It was actually really fun, and I've missed them a lot...so that was pretty cool. We're going to Silver Lake tomorrow to hang out and you know..do other things. :)

I wish I wasn't on my period. Blah. I'm having all these bad cramps and it's just a real pain in the ass. Or, vagina rather. Hahaaa. I'm a funny one.

I'm tired as hell and I almost want to finish this movie I'm watching then go to sleep. I wanted to talk to Rogan but I doubt he's going to be on, so poo. I thought I would get to see him today but he couldn't leave because his parents both needed their cars I guess. I wish Jay Jay wasn't broken. I miss himmmm like a fetus misses it's mother's womb. Jay Jay is his car, by the by. Heh.

Well, hurray for updating. I probably won't do it again for a while...so in the meantime I suppose you can read my xanga, or my purerave journal. Ta ta.

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i don't believe that anybody feels the way i do about you now [07 Sep 2004|08:24am]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | people talking ]

>:O It won't let me play neopets on the school computers. That suckssssss.

We start tennis in gym today, yay. Tennis is the shit. I don't think I'm very good though, so I hope we're not graded on skill or anything. That would just not be good.

Yeah, I'm worried right now. Because of this thing with Rogan. I hope he likes me still, and I hope things work out. I sound stupid right now, so I'm going to stop.

Ta ta.

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standing so close, knowing that it kills me to breathe you in [02 Sep 2004|06:40am]
[ mood | groggy ]
[ music | short stories with tragic endings//fata ]

Me and Amber and Kelsey joined GSA yesterday. :) Well, along with like 30 other people. Quite a few of them are annoying little fuckers that I really dislike, but putting that a side, it's pretty cool. We're going to this party for Support to Express Yourself on September 15th. I'm excited.

I hung out with Rogan, Kelsey, and Megan for most of the day yesterday. And their mom too, haha. Rogan is like the greatest person everrr. To me, anyways. I was just watching all the nice stuff that he does for people and was like "Wow." We're turning him into a girl, making him watch Lifetime and go grocery shopping. I really like grocery shopping, and Lifetime. So whateva. I guess I can understand why he doesn't though, hahaaa. ^_^ When he was picking me up yesterday my dad ran up to the car and was like, "HEY! You must be Rogan." And they shook hands and stuff. Haha, I thought it was pretty funny.

I have to go to school in a couple minutes. Hmm, that kind of sucks. I'm really tired and I'm not sure why. I mean, I only got like 6 hours of sleep. But yesterday I got 9 and I was exhausted. I need to start doing my homework earlier so I can go to bed earlier. And I should probably start smoking way less, because that's making me tired, and it's making me eat a lot. So that succccks.

I'm still on my diet but it's not going so well. I'm still trying for 400-700 calories a day. That's usually about what I have but I've actually been getting fatter. Like way fatter. It's pissing me off so much. I get so upset every time I weigh myself or look in the mirror. It's pretty shitty. So I'm just gonna start not eating lunch and see how that goes. Or maybe I can just eat lunch and not eat dinner. I don't know, I'll work something out. But I have to go to school right now, so ta ta.

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with your halo slipping down to choke you now... [30 Aug 2004|10:43pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | the noose//apc ]

Sooo, even though I already have a deadjournal, a purerave journal, a xanga, and a livejournal, I felt the need to get a blurty also. I barely ever use my xanga because I hate it, and livejournal just doesn't blow my skirt up. So that leaves me with three. And I think that's a pretty good number. If I didn't like deadjournal so much I might stop writing in that one and just write in this from now on. I don't think I'm going to do that though. Hrm...yeah. There is really no point to having three journals. And it's starting to bug me. O_o

I pigged out on Chinese food tonight, which pisses me off because I was trying so hard not to do something like that. This morning I weighed like 145, but now I probably weigh like...way more than that. I'm not sure why I was all the way down at 145 to tell you the truth, because the day before that I was at 151. My scale was probably fucked up or something, which makes me sad because weighing 145 would make me one happy camper. Well, all and all and I think I've had like 1000 calories today. Maybe a little more than that. That's still okay, I guess. Tomorrow I'm restricting myself to like 700ish though. Probably less, because I haven't been doing a good job lately and I need to start working harder.

Kelsey is coming home sometime tomorrow, and that makes me really happy. It's only been about 5 days since the last time I saw her, and 4 since the last time I talked to her, but it feels like a lot longer than that. I miss her. :( I don't think she's coming back to school until Thursday, so that sucks. Third hour isn't as much fun without her there. OH SHIT, speaking of third hour I have a test tomorrow and I need to study. I also need to do my math homework. Poo..

I'm sleepy, and I'm talking to Rogan. So, ta ta.

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