| Maybe I should say "Good bye" |
[17 Jul 2003|01:14am] |
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mood |
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 drunk |
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music |
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Finch - She Burns |
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Blah. That's all I have to say. Blah.
Random blurties .. blurtys .. I dunno .. are amusing.
Yessa.
Hm. So. I called the boy. And what?
Voice mail -.-
::sigh:: I'm not even getting into that.
Got a note in another diary/journal thingy of mine about Chris. Seems he's "grounded for eternity".
Poor Chris...
If I even decide to bring him up in conversation with the boy, I'm sure he'll be satisfied.
He's a real prick about him...
::sigh:: I'm finding far too much comfort in alcohol. I didn't want this to become a habit. Dammit.
Mmmm...rum...
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| A solitary star |
[17 Jul 2003|01:42am] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
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music |
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Finch - She burns |
] |
Yeah. Another entry. I just went outside to smoke a cigarette. I saw the moon. :)
The sky is clear of clouds. I didn't see any stars at first .. but I looked harder. And saw one. :( Blah.
So .. I dunno. I'm drunk. Heh.
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| Scarred knuckles and the Metrorail |
[17 Jul 2003|05:56pm] |
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mood |
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 pleased |
] |
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music |
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Trust Co. - The Lonely Postion of Neutral |
] |
i'm ready to change the look of my blurty. but i'm soooooo lazy.
so .. i called the boy today, and all i wanted to do was -quickly- let him know that tickets for the bus were going to be over $50 and that i wanted to double check with him before buying them and blah blah try to work this out so both know blah blah and ..he gets pissed because of whatever i said about this being frustrating and "i'm trying to let you go, i know we killed at least 2 hours of minutes for your phone yesterday and i'm sorry" and blah blah and eventually we get to the famous "whatever" line he loves to throw at me when he's pissed off and he wants me to shut up and says "bye" and hangs up before i can reply.::siiiigh:: boys.
and so i'm upset of course .. i nearly let the tears fall. but then there's me plowing over my emotions - "hell no, you're not going to cry like a fucking bitch!"
so i swallow my pride and after a minute or two i dial 'im up again. right away i say i'm sorry and that i know i'm killing his minutes but that was all i had to say and i was going to hang up and he asks me to explain why i'm sorry.
i told him just for everything and he starts to sound like he's pissed again and says something like, "See, you don't even know what you're sorry for." that just pisses me off and i just tell 'im whatever and that i really am sorry and i'll hang up because i've wasted enough of his minutes as it is. but he wanted to keep talking .. after all that bitching. Grrr!
boys...
so we talk. and it's nice. i'm happy. because talking to him just makes me feel better. so enough of this. this entry is done.
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| Mind if I borrow a safety pin? |
[17 Jul 2003|10:47pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
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music |
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Rufio - Like A Prayer |
] |
Iiiiieeeee .. had something to write about...
What was it again?
Oh geez. I guess I'll just start there.
My mom got back from work and we went shoe shopping. We went to some .. discount place that had tons of shoes and clothes - most of which were pretty cheap. They had some crazy ass shoes and 99% of them were hidieous (sp?). So I didn't get any shoes there. I was looking for some that I can wear to court with my suit. Blah. Court. I don't wanna dress up for those people. Rawr. So we went to pay less and there was a tabacco shop just a few doors down that I stepped in first. I bought a pack of blacks and got a free vanilla clove :) Um.. Then I went to payless to find my mummy and I found a decent pair of heels.
Blah. They'll do. I won't be wearing them otherwise.. which is kinda dumb. But I guess I really need to "clean up" for the court and show that I care n shit so that I have a better chance of getting probation vs. time. ::sigh::
I'm losing my mind today - acting very very strange. As I put it to Elliot, it's that hellish combination of sleep deprivation, drinking the night before, strackers, and stress. Or something close to that. That's why I didn't quote it >< Because I'm out of my mind right now. And I'm acting stranger than usual.
I realized in public today .. that I talk to myself much more often than I had percieved. I didn't even realize it until I noticed the blank stares. And then I started to litsen to myself talk .. with no one around .. and answer myself .. and carry on .. conversation? What .. the .. fuck? Yeah. It's probably time for me to sleep a little bit. Maybe. So why am I here?
Maybe I have a little bit of insomnia .. perhaps. I dunno. But I bought shoes today. And I'm trying to plan what's goin down for me and D.C. this weekend. Yeah. That's right. I'm actually going to try and plan to go out. Whoa. D.C., here I come. But .. you don't care.
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