Blurty for Cheryl.

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Wednesday, February 5th, 2003

Time:2:16 pm.
Mood: peaceful.
So, yesterday I went to St. Andrew Presbyterian Church to attend the Treehouse After School Program orientation. It's the place I'll be volunteering at for 16 or more hours to earn some extra credit in Marriage & Family. I'll actually complete the minimum number of hours by the end of this month. I am not known as a very patient person with children, but I'd like to try this out to learn to be more patient, enthusiastic, and helpful. If I like the job enough I think I'll stay by the end of the semester. This after school program is actually such a good idea. It's a safe place for elementary students whose alternatives are often being home alone after school. And it only costs their parents $15 per semester to get them in.

I am required to work every Tuesday and Thursday from 2:30-5:45 tutoring on homework and reading to children, play games, and help out on field trips. I think reading to children will be my favorite task. I could bring my own copies of books by Henry Miller, D.H. Lawrence, or Anais Nin...ooops, those books aren't appropriate for children. Nevermind! ;)

Also, I am required to take a TB test, which I'll be doing when I go home on Friday. Gosh, I can't remember when the last time I saw my general doctor; I think it's been a few years now. I think the last time I saw him, I had to take an anemic test...

The orientation lasted only 15 minutes, and afterward I went to my designated bus stop. The bus ride to the Treehouse only takes me 5 minutes, I get off, and walk the rest. The bus ride back to campus, however, takes longer. I could get off at Fry St., but since I'm a lazy person I stayed on until we circled back to Hickory.
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Monday, January 27th, 2003

Time:10:21 pm.
Mood: geeky.
Music:Police and Thieves - The Clash.
First Movie you ever saw in the theatre: The Jetsons movie

Fav movie as a kid: Drop Dead Fred, Ghost Dad, Little Monsters

Movie you have seen the most times: Reality Bites, Wayne's World

Biggest Movie Star crush as a kid: Michael J. Fox and Doogie Howser

Fav 80's teen Movie: 16 Candles, Better Off Dead!

Fav song from a movie: So many...I loved Where is My Mind? by The Pixies at the end of Fight Club, White Lines by Duran Duran in 25th Hour (how appropriate, huh?), These Days by Nico in The Royal Tenenbaums when Gwyneth Paltrow gets off the bus in slow motion - classic! Also from the Royal Tenenbaums, Hey Jude by the Beatles

Fav Love Romance Movie: When Harry Met Sally

Fav Horror Movie: None

Fav Drama: Dead Poets Society

Fav Sci Fi movie: E.T., A.I.

Fav Musical Movie: Grease! I even have the soundtrack! And! When I'm home alone, I dance and sing along to it!

Fav Comedy Movie: What About Bob

Fav Action Movie: The Matrix, Point Break..seriously, guys, I don't have a thing for Keanu Reeves anymore..

Movie that Scared you as a child: Psycho

Movie that makes you cry everytime you see it: Frida, Dead Poets Society

Worst movie you ever saw: Stigmata, Solaris, Reign of Fire (face it, Jeff, it was a horrible movie!)

Movie you walked out on in the theatre cause it was so bad: I have not done this

Most sexual movie you ever saw (NON PORN): Wild Things

Most Disturbing movie you ever saw: Beloved

Movie that supposedly sucks but you love it: Death to Smoochy!

Fav Actors: Edward fucking Norton. And, yes, fucking is his middle name

Fav Actresses: Audrey Hepburn

Fav Porn Star: Tera Patrick, Asia Carrera...they can really suck

Fav sex scene from a movie (NON PORN): Helena Bonham Carter and Edward Norton in Fight Club, although that scene was actually done by computers

Movie you wanted to see the most as a child but were not allowed to: No idea.

Sexiest movie star of all time MALE: Edward Norton. I'd hump him

Sexiest movie star of all time FEMALE: Don't really have any, so I'll say Audrey Hepburn. Not only was she sexy but classy

Movie that could/might as well been written about your life: My So-Called Life - it was actually a TV show

Fave Villain in a movie: Derek in American History X

Last movie you saw on TV/rented? Signs, Minority Report

Last movie you saw in theatre: My Big Fat Greek Wedding
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Sunday, January 26th, 2003

Time:10:23 pm.
Mood: thoughtful.
What I hate is when people just assume things about me. Sure, I am quiet, secretive, and reserved, but people have this idea that I'm miss innocent, that I don't cuss or enjoy durty sex or watch pornography or, better yet because it involves their ego, was never devilish or corrupt until I met them. But the classic of them all were the comments I got when I was younger and wore eyeglasses 24/7, and was assumed to have been smart. Well, I was and am still smart (true dat), but I got people actually saying to me that I'm smart because I wore glasses.

I laugh at these things in front of them, they think I'm laughing with them, but I'm really laughing at them. People who usually assume these things are the ones who are, in actuality, too lazy to get to know people like me, so what they do is just make false assumptions that simply make them look like asses in my eyes. To be honest.
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Saturday, January 18th, 2003

Time:5:57 pm.
Mood: horny.
I know everyone has fantasized about dating a celebrity, walking the red carpet, conjuring the hottest rumors, and attending charities, benefits, and movie premieres with him or her. I don't think I'd like to date any celebrity, but Edward Norton. In order to do so, I must get rid of Salma Hayek by challenging her to a jello wrestling match. I would, of course, win because she's frail, beautiful, and doesn't want to get her hair messy, so she doesn't try as hard to beat the living shit out of me.

For our first movie premiere party, Edward Norton will wear a black tuxedo and his hair will be short and blonde a la Red Dragon and Keeping the Faith. I will wear a long, sleek dress a la Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's. We will mingle with other celebrities, and by the end of the night, we will make hot, passionate love in the back of a taxi cub.

I will wake up in the morning in a familiar bed. My hair is dishevelled and my make-up a mess. I realize I'm in my bed in my own room, and realize that it was just a dream.

Oh, Edward, why can't it be true?

I'm so pathetic.
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Time:12:25 pm.
Mood: thoughtful.
I enjoyed My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Everything but the Greek part of Talu's family reminded me of my own family: big, loud, and always want you to eat! As a person who is currently involved in an interracial relationship, I could relate to it a lot. Talu's dad reminds me of my dad. Jeff should so see it; he'd laugh his ass off at the similarities.

The movie made me wonder if it's racist to have a race preference when it comes to dating. Jeff has a friend, Justin, who is very meticulous on his choice of girls; they must have dyed red hair, skinny, has great taste in music, and is agnostic. What he doesn't mention because he's afraid of being criticized or whatever, is that he prefers White girls over girls from other race or ethnicity. I could just tell. Then recently Jeff mentioned about a comment that Justin made, that he doesn't find Black women to be attractive. He implied to Jeff that he doesn't find my kind to be attracted either. I wonder if this is racist? Or maybe just ignorant or piggish?

Justin has always had trouble with keeping a girlfriend because they always have clashing interests or different views and ideas about the world. I wonder if he opens his mind a little bit and doesn't put any limitations on the type of girls he'd date and isn't as superficial that maybe he can keep a really wonderful girl.

Then, I look at my own choice of men. I looked back at my transitory infatuations and have noticed that the men I had crushes on were mostly White men. I did not have a race preference, but I had a propensity to be attracted to them. I think it could be from the predominantly White environment I grew up in and the predominantly White television programs I grew up watching that influenced my unintentional fondness of White men.

Maybe Justin's dating limitations is caused by his environment as well, that he believes in the negative stereotypes he'd heard about women of color through the media and society that he's reluctant on meeting and getting to know someone of a different background and culture than him.
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Wednesday, January 15th, 2003

Time:8:46 pm.
I just came back from my night class. Andrew, who was in Collective Behavior last semester, was there and he sat right beside me in class. On my other side is Brad, a guy who reeks very much of cigarette smoke, but funny nonetheless. We made a wonderful Cheryl sandwich tonight, indeed. :)

Marriage & Family is so interesting. We debate about same-sex marriages, co-habitation, and homosexuals raising children. I don't know why some people are so opposed of the latter. Studies show that homosexual couples spend more time with their children and provide them with love, care, and support, more so than heterosexual couples. What I dislike about the class is we get to share personal stuff with some people. Tonight, we constructed a mini family tree which requires jotting down assigned codes beside a family member's name if, for example, they had an abortion or a miscarriage. My mom had a miscarriage, which I and my sisters weren't supposed to know and I don't think my parents know that we know. But I didn't record the miscarriage in the family tree. That's not the only personal thing that bothers me; I just don't like talking about my own family.

Then, a woman came to class to talk to us about Praxis, a cooperative project of faculty, students, and community that provides an educational opportunity outside the classroom. As an extra credit in class, we are required to carry out 16 hours of volunteer work in a community social service agency. So far, these are my two choices of agencies that I'd like to volunteer for: UNT Student Health Center/SAVE STD Education (I originally misspelled education as 'Edcuation' - hahaha) Program and Odyssey Healthcare, Inc. in Fort Worth. Working for the former would be a bit awkward for me as it requires me to speak to college students on safer sex, birth control options, sexual assault, STD/HIV prevention, etc. I hate talking in front of groups of people, especially if I see them on campus, so I guess it'll be a challenge. I want to volunteer at the UNT Student Health Center because a) it doesn't require me to use a car to get around, the center is just on campus and b) I like issues concerning men's but mostly women's health.

Of course, volunteering would leave me with a very busy semester, so if I had to choose between working for Foley's and volunteering, I would choose volunteering without a doubt. I've volunteered at a library before, but volunteering at a hospital would be very rewarding and leave a good feeling in me. How conceited and self-centered can humans get? You ask them why they do good deeds and they'll most likely answer because it makes them feel good.

I was feeling crappy earlier today because I had no one to hang out with, and I hid myself in my room or in the library all day, but coming to class tonight to learn about volunteering and talking to someone I knew alleviated the crappiness in life. I feel optimistic.
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Tuesday, January 14th, 2003

Time:6:14 pm.
Now that I'm back in Denton and hide in my dorm room, I can feel myself getting more and more depressed. I don't know anyone here, so I'm reduced to spending the majority of the time in my room, wasting time on the internet or doing some required reading. Fernando has other duties, so we can't hang out very long. Febe is all the way in Fort Worth, and I bet when she's in Denton she'd like to spend some time with her love. Jeff does not like driving to Denton. And I don't often see him online because of current computer problems he's experiencing. Although I like solitude sometimes, I get fed up with it and I get annoyed that there's no one to hang out with here.
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Time:5:38 pm.
It just doesn't feel right.
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Blurty for Cheryl.

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