| The 'rolemodels' in my life |
[19 Jul 2003|12:51pm] |
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mood |
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 infuriated |
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I woke up this morning and felt really strange. Everything feels off today. I answer people's question and it's like I can hear myself echoing in my head when I answer. Slow Motion. My father moved back in last night. I'm not happy about that... What gets to me is that my brother and I weren't even told until an hour before he did. "oh by the way, your father is moving in tonight." Did I miss something? I knew it was coming eventually, but so soon. Here come the 'ground rules', and the 'conditions', and 'consequences' that we've lived for 6 years without and now all of a sudden he's going to come back in and set them? I'm going to have to listen to that? Where the fuck was he the past 6 years? He quit his job on purpose so not to give my mother alimony for the kids. He said he got fired but that's full of shit, I know it. He's a smart sneaky sonovabich. He knows how to manipulate people and any answer you give him is the wrong answer unless it goes into accordance with what he wants. He says we can negotiate or compromise about rules- but that's fucked because it's all of HIS compromising. Anything we bring up he finds something wrong with so why compromise? He treats us like business associates rather than his kids. I'm so bitter toward my parents. If their marriage didn't work out twice before, why the fuck are they putting us through their bullshit a third time? Why? What makes this time any different than the rest? I can't wait to leave this house.
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| Scatter Brain |
[19 Jul 2003|05:34pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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I;m so bored I couldn't even begin to explain. My satellite keeps going down and I have to keep resetting it every 20 minutes or so which sucks.
I just need to get out of the house tonight. I dont care where I go, I just want out.
I leave next week. I'm thrilled.
Driving is probably the best release ever. I love driving. I don't where I'm going... It takes so much stress away from me. I love the wind in my hair, I love the feeling of speed- it's exhilerating, and I absolutely love getting lost and not knowing where I'm going.. or how I'll get back. It's the simple little adventures that keep me happy...
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