| *hurl* |
[08 Jul 2003|09:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nauseated |
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music |
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none at the moment |
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I woke up this morning and for some reason I feel so incredibly dizzy. Feels like morning sickness. Well I wouldn't know what in the world that feels like, but it's not pleasent anyway. I took a gravol pill to calm the motion sickness. Hopefully it'll work cause I start at the daycare today :/
I didn't sleep one bit last night. I had repeated dreams about warming up various foods in the microwave. Beats me.
Anyway, off I go. I'll write later. This journal seems to be very therapeutic if I may add.
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| Ana |
[08 Jul 2003|06:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Linkin Park - Somewhere I Belong |
] |
I just finished making a batch of really yummy homemade chewy chocolate chip cookies. Damn I'm good..... Ok well whatever, that's what I tell people when I feel I have to impress. Pillsburry owns. Mind you I can too bake, and bake very well at that, but I'm just too lazy right now.
Work was fun. My new name is Ana. Giuliana seemed to be too complicated for the little 2-5 yr olds to say, then they all came to a unanymous decision that they disliked the name Julie (giuli), so that left them with no other choice but 'Ana'. Eh. They like it. They seemed to have been facinated with the pink streaks in my hair. Joseph, the little munchkin with ADHD, goes to me,
"Ana... it's imstoppable to have pink hair."
"You mean impossible?"
"Yes, that"
"No, it's not." I was so teasing him.
"Does your mommy have pink hair?"
"Yep, she does"
"Oh, so it's herereritarery?"
"Hereditary?" Wow. Really impressive vocabulary for a little one. How in the world...
"Yes, that"
"Yep, it's hereditary."
"Well then how come I'm blond and my mommy's hair is red?"
"Because your mommy colours her hair." You'd think he'd forget what I said.
It's about ready for lunch time now...
"Joseph?.....JOSEPH? Where are you!?"
"I'm here, I'm here" Out comes joseph from the closet. Holy mother of god.
"Joseph! What did you do!?!?!"
"I look like mommy now!"
The permanent marker got EVERYWHERE. The poor kid looks battered.
I was thinking. Eric looks hella sexy driving his civic on the highway. Speeding is a bad thing I know ;) But it just turned me on so incredibly much. He can do that to me and not even know it. I wonder if I ever do anything to him? Prolly not. It never shows unless I physically grab him to kiss me. Hmm. I hate how we're so alike sometimes. Neither of us try to show too much emotion. That kind of sucks though. I don't know what's so wrong with it. I'd like to make an effort to show more.... I just don't want to be the only one you know? Things like that scare me. Nothing scares me more than people knowing what I'm thinking or how I feel deep down. I feel naked. Totally exposed and completely vulnerable. I'm afraid that people will take what they know, run with it, and then use it against me down the line in order to hurt me or push my buttons. I guess I'm just weird. I don't even know how to tell him that without sounding like a retard. Anyway.
I'm gonna throw on some jogging pants and head out to Boc's for coffee. It's become like a second home. I feel so cozy in there. It's my way of getting out.
**********
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
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