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music |
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Miss Independent - Kelly Clarkson |
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Either I was extremely edgey today or the kids were just grating my nerves. Holy. It was like a mini mafia. Melanie would say something and everyone else would follow- if you intervened then you'd have to get through them to get to Melanie. How they figure out the systems at such a young age.
George called me at 3am. I haven't spoken to him in weeks. I picked up by accident because I was half asleep and when I saw the number two as the first digit in the phone number I didn't pay attention to the rest, assuming it was Giulia. At first I thought I was dreaming. I answered with "Giulia?" after hearing a guys voice. His response was, "it's your ex, you moron." It was kind of funny but he didn't have to be so harsh. Mind you I've been really rude with him anyway.
This was basically his speech:
"Look, before you talk or hang up on me just listen (this is typical- I should have hung up right there). I know that things can never work out between us. I've come to realize that what you've been saying is true- that we're two totally different people who need two totally different things and we'd never be able to make eachother happy. All we've been doing is fighting, insulting eachother, playing word games, and trying to ruin eachother's reputations (ok I really didn't know where that last bit came from- I was like 'huh??'. Is that what he did? I wasn't gonna argue so I kept shut. What a baby.). But I just want you to know that I don't hate you, even if you can't stand my guts. I just want to be able to say hi to you when I see you. Afterall we did go out for 2 1/2 years and you can't just ignore that. We've learned a lot from eachother and a lot about ourselves through one another even if it meant pinpointing our differences that determined the direction the relationship took (hmmm... well... he was right. I'll give him credit for that part.). Bottom line is, we've been acting childish- well I have. I want you to be happy. I want myself to be happy. We won't be happy together. If that's what God really had in store for us, then it'll come back. I won't make anymore scenes, I won't cause anymore shit, and cross my heart you won't hear anything from me anymore (thank god.). I'm leaving to Greece tomorrow for 6 weeks. I just wanted to say goodbye and that no matter what I did love you. You were an amazing girlfriend and any guy who gets you is a lucky asshole (damn straight *giggle*- I mean, awwwww.. that was so nice!). So, have a great life, be smart, take care of yourself, and don't let anybody treat you like you don't want to be treated. You had enough guts to stand up to me and I hated it because I always felt like I was doing something wrong, but you were right. Stick to your guns. Goodnight."
That was basically it. Yep. That whole entire essay was a 'nutshell'. hah. Anyways, I called back today just to wish him a fun and safe trip. i told him that I was moving forth in my life as he was and that we shouldn't hold that against eachother. We should be mature because that's something we both needed to learn- well him more so than me *grin*. I told him that we would talk if we ever saw eachother and I asked him not to start any stupidities because he's already on everyone's black list. He said 'ok, i promise'. Of course he had to ask, "are you still talking to Eric?" I answered him pleasently with a "yes... we're talking very much." He responded with an "oh.." We were silent. He then added, "Look, I know you've liked him for a long time. I know you've liked him even when we were together. I was able to see it whenever I looked at you or some one mentioned his name... I just want you to be happy. Just be careful." I said, "thank you, I appreciate that... but don't worry about me, I'm a big girl." I also told him that I didn't hate him, he just always frustrated me and knew how to push my every anger and hostility button, and that no matter what I can't forget two years, so yes I would like to be civil with him- not like animals. We hung up on that note.
Patroni twins were bugging me all night. "you're the only for Eric. You guys should get married. Eric needs you. Come on you know you like him. You're perfect for eachother" yada yada yada. Did Eric say anything to them? They have an obsession with Eric and I. What in the world- WHERE in teh world is this coming from? I mean, Eric and I are so distant from eachother in front of other people. We barely even talk damnit :( I wonder why they're so fixed on that....
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mellow
frustrated
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predatory
jealous
bored
infuriated
cranky
groggy
giggly
crappy
satisfied
bouncy
indifferent
blah
horny