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Thursday, April 7th, 2005
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10:56 pm - i am so totally in love
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baby if i ever get the chance to be with you again
I would sacrafice
Cuz the feelin that I feel within no other man would ever make me feel so right
its nice to smile when i get your phone call at night
But I rather have you here with me
right next to me
and I miss the way you hold me tight
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, July 19th, 2004
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6:50 pm
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| Saturday, June 19th, 2004
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7:30 pm - damn
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| Wednesday, June 9th, 2004
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9:07 am - uhm
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turns out i am moving this saturday! go figure. I love you all, but i am so fucking happy to be leaving. holy fuck. so god damned releived..... 360.307.7186... for 2 more days....then 541.593.6744... gimme a call
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, June 7th, 2004
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1:42 am - LiSa
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Shank You! Thank you for the el jay lisa! :) i wuv you!
i fucking love lisa... in fact
I love...
lisa
emma
laura
mike
dan
dane
mommy
mike sr
monica
abby
kelly
jeremy
james
ashley
ashley p
jessica
jesska
jessalyn
adam
natalie
jesse
chad
sam
sammy
melissa
bradley
teagan
payton
danielle
blake
dickens
ben
chris
kyle
ronnie
tanea
tetarieya
sacari
delaney
anne
heather
and so many more, but i am tired. 2 weeks 2 weeks 2 weeks the 20th 2 weeks 2 weeks!
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(comment on this)
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1:35 am - it take that back bitches
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sorry fuckers, i am coming back in two WEEKS! the news changed bitches, get ready!!!! fuck yes!!!!
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, June 6th, 2004
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8:11 pm - ahahaha
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2 months fuckers, i am coming home. you knew you could not be rid of me for long!!! i am moving home in august!! woot!!!!!!!!!!
current mood:  ecstatic
current music: apc-mer de noms- judith
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(comment on this)
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5:18 pm - blah blah
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i'd rather be witchu cause i love the way that you scream my name, i'd rather be witchu cause you hustle hard to take care of me, i'd rather be witchu whoa, whoa...
take off that tank top and pull down them drawers
get get get naked
i need to get laid. really fuckin hella bad.
blah blah im out
current mood:  restless
current music: tool- sober
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(comment on this)
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5:13 pm - got me lookin' so crazy in love
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yeah, i also like beyonce. i am such a huge fan of all these hot slutty pop stars... hmm. anywho, i wrote my dad a really emotionally charged letter filling him in on my idea of moving to bend with him, and i am quite sure he will go with it. one problem will be that he will be doing sheet metal, which means he'll make helluv bank, but he will be traveling alot... oh wait, how would that be a problem? anywho, i am not having sex until i get back to bend, so i will be like so tantric by then, and girls ima be an uberslut when i first get there, its sooo fun, so make sure i have some clean boys, lol. naw, i'm just playing about you finding guys, but i will be pretty pomiscuous when i get there i bet, and that is ok, i think. ima be partying again, etc. and we have to do lotsa fun spontaneous things like you guys coming to washington, lol. i cannot wait to come home! lisa tell your mom that i love her becuase she seems like the coolest mom ever when i hear you talk about her. blah blah... oh, dying my hair this week, i dunno what color. but yeah. talk to yall later, ANYONE can call me, 1-360-307-7186, or email me socialdeviant_0805@hotmail.com, deviantleogirl@yahoo.com, or im me aim deviantlioness. oh, and lisa next time i see you will you help me make a live journal? thank yoooooou. wuv woo, me
current mood:  hopeful
current music: beyonce- dangerously in love
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, June 5th, 2004
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9:45 pm - blah
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Bike Scene Lyrics
by Taking Back Sunday
I'll leave the lights down low
so she knows I mean business
And maybe we could talk this over
Cause I could be your best bet
Let alone your worst ex
And let alone your worst...
I wanna hate you so bad
But I can't (but I can't) stop this
anymore than you can
So honestly, how could you say those things
when you know they don't mean anything
And you know very well
that I can't keep my hands to myself,
hands to myself
I wanna hate you so bad
But I can't (but I can't) stop this
anymore than you can
This is all wrong and it shows
There's certain things I promised not to let you know,
(I've got a silly way of keepin you up on the edge of my seat,
I've got a silly way of keepin you up on the...)
not to let you know
I never let you, never let you, never...
You've got this silly way
of keeping me on the edge of my seat
But you're only counting the clock against the train
And I'm miserable, oh
(I've got a silly way of keepin you up on the edge of my seat,
I've got a silly way of keepin you up on the...)
And you're just getting started
I'm miserable, oh
And you're just getting started
You've got me right where you want me
(let's never talk) Let's never talk, let's never,
let's never talk about this again because...
I didn't want it to mean that much to me
I didn't want it to mean that much to me
I didn't want it to mean that much to me
I didn't want it to mean that much to me
Anyway... yeah
-----------------------------------------
come over- jlo
One, you come to my room for a little game
Two you, I'll do very erotic things
I wanna make love, babe, very slowly
Three times in a row, all night I'll go
I love when you come over
And when you come
It gives me feva
Body next to mine
Love dance syncopated time
Sugar rush keeps me high
Sweet kiss on my thigh
I wanna make love, baby, very badly
Feels good in the air every time you're here
I love when you come over
And when you come
It gives me feva
Don't keep me waiting, anticipating
Love, I am saving for you
Hear what I'm saying
You I am craving
Love is here waitng for you
All day you're staying
Please no delaying
Patiently waiting for you
Don't keep me waiting
No time for playing
Sitting here waiting for you
I love when you come over
And when you come
It gives me feva
Come one over
I love when you come over
And when you come
It gives me feva
current mood:  peaceful
current music: tbs- bike scene
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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9:11 pm - i need
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i need to get laid
i need to come home
i need a hug
i need more clothes
i need mohenola
i need to hang with my brother more often
i need to stop being so fickle
i need to chill with laura more
i need my mommy
i need more people to love me
i need a drink
i need lisa
i need emma
i need a party night
i need kevin to hurry up and get outta prison
i need to stop wanting so much
i need to stop cutting again
i need more meds
i need to stop being codependent
i need to stop being needy
laura and mikey here, been shopping all day... blah blah, got applications for pacsun and hot topic and quiznos. my plan, which has not been run e by most parties involved: have kevin move to oregon, let him get on his feet, move in with him and finish at summit... sounds good. more later. i wuv you
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, June 3rd, 2004
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8:39 pm - Fucking Eh
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This sucks so god damn much. So emmma and lisa did come, they got here around 9:30 this morning. We chilled for like 3 hours at the mall, then they had to go back home. I was pathetically begging lisa to stay now as opposed to living and coming back, but she couldn't. We had fun at the mall, not really doing anything, just... yeah. catching up i guess. I knew i missed her (both of them) like hell, but... it was so much better when she was here... then shitty and harder then all get out when she left. gawd... i just want so badly to go home, so badly. and i feel really freakin' guilty, but i just miss everyone so much. I think i coumld even handle going to summit, even though i hate highschool, summit was so much easier to deal with. at least i knew people... i don't give a shit about the people here. fuck them all, honestly. they are nothing compared to what i have in my real friends from bend. fuck fuck fuck, there is no way to express the intense anger and sadness i feel through typewritten words... gawd i wanna come home so bad. so fucking bad it hurts....i just have to come home, i have to come home, i have to. there is no way to even describe how much i have to. god fuck i hate this fucking shit drama shit fuck. lisa and emmalee rock my face hardcore.
current mood:  melancholy
current music: toni braxton- man enough for me
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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3:35 am - Lyrics Again LOL
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Stairway to heaven Lyrics-Led Zeppelin
There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying the stairway to heaven
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for
Ooh, ooh, and she's buying the stairway to heaven
There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings
In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven
Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, it makes me wonder
There's a feeling I get when I look to the west
And my spirit is crying for leaving
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees
And the voices of those who stand looking
Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, it really makes me wonder
And it's whispered that soon if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter
If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now,
It's just a spring clean for the May Queen
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on
And it makes me wonder
Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know
The piper's calling you to join him
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind
And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our souls
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll
And she's buying the stairway to heaven
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Best Friend Lyrics-Dandy Warhol
Best Friend
Ill See You In The End
Broken For A While
But Maybe We Can Bend
Best Friend
Im Feeling Out Of Line
And Filling Up The Time Again
Ill See You In The End
I Will Again
Best Friend
Im Really Up Again
The World Is Alone But Bitter To The End
Best Friend
And Figuring Out My Head
Oh Ill See You In The End
I Will Again
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every Day Should Be A Holiday Lyrics- Dandy Warhols
Summertime,
if I was getting paid
for getting drunk and getting
laid.
I'd grab a phone
just to call you up and say
Quit your job
cuz I got it made.
Anytime,
baby let's go
Everyday should be a holiday.
Super cool,
the dandys rule okay!
Got the dough and
I got the raves.
Anytime call me up if you
got the sun,
cuz I got the waves.
Anytime,
baby let's go
Everyday should be a holiday.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JERRY CANTRELL LYRICS
Hurt A Long Time-Jerry Cantrell
His hands are clenched
His knuckles white
He got a gun
And gave up the fight
When I found out
I couldn't even cry
Well I am now
And I'm tryin' to figure out why
I'll save it for you
You save me from me
And the hole in my head I can see
Tell her I love her
Tell the kids that I loved them
Oh, it's a bad dream
I've got only time
Yeah, it's a bad dream
I've got only time
You know it's a bad dream
I've got only time
I wish it was a bad dream
I wish it was a bad dream
'Cause it's gonna hurt a long time, yeah
He lies awake
With saddened eyes
Sleeping babies
Keeping him alive
I'll save it for you
You save me from me
And the hole in my head I can see
Tell her I love her
Tell the kids that I loved them
Oh, it's a bad dream
I've got only time
Yeah, it's a bad dream
I've got only time
You know it's just a bad dream
I've got only time
I wish it was a bad dream
I've got only time
I wish it was a bad dream
'Cause it's gonna hurt a long time, yeah
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Criminal Lyrics-Fiona Apple
I've been a bad bad girl
I've been careless with a delicate man
And it's a sad sad world
When a girl will break a boy
Just because she can
Don't you tell me to deny it
I've done wrong and I want to
Suffer for my sins
I've come to you 'cause I need
Guidance to be true
And I just don't know where I can begin
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love
Heaven help me for the way I am
Save me from these evil deeds
Before I get them done
I know tomorrow brings the consequence
At hand
But I keep livin' this day like
The next will never come
Oh help me but don't tell me
To deny it
I've got to cleanse myself
Of all these lies till I'm good
Enough for him
I've got a lot to lose and I'm
Bettin' high
So I'm beggin' you before it ends
Just tell me where to begin
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love
Let me know the way
Before there's hell to pay
Give me room to lay the law and let me go
I've got to make a play
To make my lover stay
So what would an angel say
The devil wants to know
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fast As You Can Lyrics-Fiona Apple
I let the beast in too soon, I don't know how to live
Without my hand on his throat; I fight him always & still
O darling, it's so sweet, you think you know how crazy
-How crazy I am
You say you don't spook easy, you won't go, but I know
And I pray that you will
-Fast as you can, baby run-free yourself of me
Fast as you can
I may be soft in your palm but I'll soon grow
Hungry for a fight, and I will not let you win
My pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will
Disprove your faith in man
So if you catch me trying to find my way into your
Heart from under your skin
-Fast as you can, baby scratch me out, free yourself
Fast as you can
Fast as you can, baby scratch me out, free yourself
Fast as you can
Sometimes my mind don't shake and shift
But most of the time, it does
And I get to the place where I'm begging for a lift
Or I'll drown in the wonders and the was
And I'll be your girl, if you say it's a gift
And you give me some more of your drugs
Yeah, I'll be your pet, if you just tell me it's a gift
Cuz I'm tired of whys, choking on whys,
Just need a little because, because
I let the beast in and then;
I even tried forgiving him, but it's too soon
So I'll fight again, again, again, again, again.
And for a little while more, I'll soar the
Uneven wind, complain and blame
The sterile land
But if you're getting any bright ideas, quiet dear
I'm blooming within
Fast as you can, baby wait watch me, I'll be out
Fast as I can, maybe late but at least about
Fast as you can leave me, let this thing
Run its route
Fast as you can
Fast as you can
Fast as you can
Fast as you can
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Know Lyrics-Fiona Apple
So be it, I'm your crowbar
If that's what I am so far
Until you get out of this mess
And I will pretend
That I don't know of your sins
Until you are ready to confess
But all the time, all the time
I'll know, I'll know
And you can use my skin
To bury secrets in
And I will settle you down
And at my own suggestion,
I will ask no questions
While I do my thing in the background
But all the time, all the time
I'll know, I'll know
Baby-I can't help you out, while she's still around
So for the time being, I'm being patient
And amidst this bitterness
If you'll just consider this-even if it don't make sense
All the time-give it time
And when the crowd becomes your burden
And you've early closed your curtains,
I'll wait by the backstage door
While you try to find the lines to speak your mind
And pry it open, hoping for an encore
And if it gets too late, for me to wait
For you to find you love me, and tell me so
It's ok, don't need to say it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Never Is A Promise Lyrics-Fiona Apple
You'll never see - the courage I know
Its colors' richness won't appear within your view
I'll never glow - the way that you glow
Your presence dominates the judgements made on you
But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch; I see from greater heights
I understand what I am still too proud to mention - to you
You'll say you understand, but you don't understand
You'll say you'd never give up seeing eye to eye
But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie
You'll never touch - these things that I hold
The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own
You'll never feel the heat of this soul
My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown - to you
You'll say, Don't fear your dreams, it's easier than it seems
You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high
But never is a promise and you can't afford to lie
You'll never live the life that I live
I'll never live the life that wakes me in the night
You'll never hear the message I give
You'll say it looks as though I might give up this fight
But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I realize what I am now too smart to mention - to you
You'll say you understand, you'll never understand
I'll say I'll never wake up knowing how or why
I don't know what to believe in, you don't know who I am
You'll say I need appeasing when I start to cry
But never is a promise and I'll never need a lie
current mood:  bouncy
current music: fiona apple-get gone
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(comment on this)
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3:25 am - oh my god oh my god oh my god
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Holy shit they are coming and this is the best news i have had in 5 months, longer except when i found out i was not pregnant. god, lisa and emmalee are like the greatest people ever, seriously, so exaggeration. so we are talking on line (convo below) and then lisa was drunk and i think emma was too and they just decided to drive up here (six hourse) and chill for a while which is sooo fucking awesome i cannot describe it because i miss them both so much and this is soooo exciting and i hope they really make it for real. this has to happen, lol, its gotta! i love you Lisa and Emmalee, you are me fucking favoritest ever ever in the universe! oh god damn... :)
our convos: (the him is blake, crowdsurfer is lisa and sunkist is emmalee)
crowdsurferkc679: hi
deviantlioness: hi
deviantlioness: ooooops
crowdsurferkc679: i am bored
crowdsurferkc679: do you like him at alll????
deviantlioness: who?
deviantlioness: this is lisa right?
crowdsurferkc679: yesh
deviantlioness: yayayaya
crowdsurferkc679: do you like him?????
deviantlioness: who??
crowdsurferkc679: your lover
crowdsurferkc679: blkae
deviantlioness: lol
deviantlioness: yeah, i mean, in that wierd shallow fickle way i like guys
crowdsurferkc679: okie
deviantlioness: yeah
deviantlioness: ya know?
deviantlioness: like i liked dan and travis and brandon and... well, like everyone, lol
deviantlioness: but he is funny
deviantlioness: why am i so god damn fickle
crowdsurferkc679: heh
crowdsurferkc679: bonz, dont tell him
crowdsurferkc679: (censored) is not very impressive
deviantlioness: no kidding
deviantlioness: i haven't
deviantlioness: i just do what i do with everyone
crowdsurferkc679: i told him (censored) was average just to give him some confidence
crowdsurferkc679: crowdsurferkc679: Bonz is the best lover i never had
deviantlioness: ah, i love you
deviantlioness: lol
deviantlioness: i told him to ask you, lol
crowdsurferkc679: i got my tagus's pierced
crowdsurferkc679: i got my tagus's piercedthey hurt sooooooooooo bad
crowdsurferkc679: i got my tagus's piercedthey hurt sooooooooooo bad
crowdsurferkc679: i got my tagus's piercedthey hurt sooooooooooo badd
crowdsurferkc679: i got my tagus's piercedthey hurt sooooooooooo badd
crowdsurferkc679: i
crowdsurferkc679: isdf
crowdsurferkc679: sdf
deviantlioness: i am sorry
crowdsurferkc679: i got my tragus's pierced and they hurt so badddddddd
deviantlioness: ok
deviantlioness: i am sirry
deviantlioness: sorry
deviantlioness: lol
deviantlioness: i sent emma my pics
crowdsurferkc679: o0o0o0o
deviantlioness: talk me up,lol
crowdsurferkc679: he wants a three way kiss
deviantlioness: why did they hurt so bad
deviantlioness: yeah i know
deviantlioness: je is pulling what they all pull
crowdsurferkc679: oh god it was so painful
deviantlioness: tell emma sorry its taking so long
deviantlioness: i forgot to size the pic
crowdsurferkc679: its okay shes jumpin around her house
deviantlioness: lol
deviantlioness: ok
crowdsurferkc679: she's not that bad when shes drunk
crowdsurferkc679: but i didnt say that
deviantlioness: i am glad everyone is coo;
deviantlioness: cool
deviantlioness: lol
deviantlioness: i know
deviantlioness: tell emma yes i have, my thing won't let me respond
deviantlioness: i used to be that way with austin
deviantlioness: and its HEROIN
deviantlioness: i think
crowdsurferkc679: what??????????????
deviantlioness: just tell her, lol
deviantlioness: she will get it, lol
crowdsurferkc679: i did
deviantlioness: thankeeeeee!
deviantlioness: i lahf you
crowdsurferkc679: blake isnt talking to me
crowdsurferkc679: my feeling are hurt
deviantlioness: me neither
deviantlioness: make sure she puts her box to full screen
crowdsurferkc679: me and emmalee are discussing if we are going to jump in her car and drive to washington
deviantlioness: do it do it do it do it do it do it
deviantlioness: do it do it do it do it do it do it
deviantlioness: do it do it do it do it do it do it
crowdsurferkc679: dude i really think we are going to
deviantlioness: do it do it do it do it do it do it
deviantlioness: do it do it do it do it do it do it
crowdsurferkc679: how long is the drive???
deviantlioness: 6 hours
crowdsurferkc679: dude we're doin it
crowdsurferkc679: ahhhhh we're gonna go see boni
deviantlioness: dude, just come and stay for a few days
crowdsurferkc679: me and emmalee never do anything spontaneous
crowdsurferkc679: anymore
crowdsurferkc679: we cant well hang out for a day but then we gotta go
deviantlioness: yes you can hnag out here
deviantlioness: its thursay mroning
deviantlioness: pleeeeeeasaaaase
deviantlioness: i miss you guys
deviantlioness: and i can't leave this week
deviantlioness: please
crowdsurferkc679: hold on i have to finish talingk emmalee into this insane thing
deviantlioness: if you come i wanna act like i did not know, lol
crowdsurferkc679: okay
crowdsurferkc679: yeah, we're coming
deviantlioness: i misssssss you
deviantlioness: no way?
crowdsurferkc679: yeah for real
deviantlioness: are you serious
deviantlioness: ahhhhhhghghg
crowdsurferkc679: emmalee is packing abag
deviantlioness: when are you leaving?
crowdsurferkc679: and then we have to go to my house
crowdsurferkc679: then we have to get money then return my moms credit card then we'll be on our way
deviantlioness: take blake
crowdsurferkc679: i dont know him!!!!
deviantlioness: so?
deviantlioness: lol
deviantlioness: this is why we are friends lisa... you are coming to WA... this is so insane
crowdsurferkc679: i know
crowdsurferkc679: you cant tell my mom tho!!!!!!!!!!!!
deviantlioness: omg
crowdsurferkc679: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
deviantlioness: hello? how would i?
deviantlioness: lol
crowdsurferkc679: we're gonna do it!!!!
deviantlioness: aghhhhhhahsdjfklahsefdawiuelrfjskdflakejdf
crowdsurferkc679: crowdsurferkc679: do you really wanna go?
nitroboarderBC: if we fuck cuz i dont wanna just sit in a car for 6 hours
deviantlioness: lol
crowdsurferkc679: gah yeah DONT THINK SO
deviantlioness: lol
are you taking him?
crowdsurferkc679: i do not want to have sex with a virgin
deviantlioness: then don't lol
deviantlioness: i love love love you lisa!
crowdsurferkc679: alright...we need some directions
deviantlioness: are you guys totally serious? ahhh
deviantlioness: ok
deviantlioness: well, she has a navagation system right?
crowdsurferkc679: yesh
deviantlioness: or go to mapquest or whatever
crowdsurferkc679: \address
deviantlioness: ok, i live in Bremerton Washington
deviantlioness: 383 NW Oakmont Way
deviantlioness: or just look for olympic high school on it
deviantlioness: because thats where i'll be
deviantlioness: but you should stop at my house and tell my sister its a surprise
deviantlioness: tjat way no one can get in trouble
crowdsurferkc679: wait you are gonna be in school???
crowdsurferkc679: can you get out?
deviantlioness: yeah yeah yeah
deviantlioness: for sure for sure
deviantlioness: stop at my house first though
deviantlioness: and tell mel
crowdsurferkc679: okay
deviantlioness: omg
deviantlioness: imng
deviantlioness: sldfkhjalkefcwh
deviantlioness: i am going insane
crowdsurferkc679: okay emmalee drives fast so it wont take that long
deviantlioness: omg
crowdsurferkc679: we gotta get going!!!!
deviantlioness: well, it might take longer cuase you don;y know where you are going
deviantlioness: ok ok ok
crowdsurferkc679: 541 480 9943
deviantlioness: i'll see you then? i guess or something
crowdsurferkc679: thats my cell
deviantlioness: ok
deviantlioness: i'll call
crowdsurferkc679: 541 771 8909 thats emmas
deviantlioness: ok, i will call you guys
crowdsurferkc679: k we gotta go later!!!!
crowdsurferkc679: you better
deviantlioness: ahhhhh!
crowdsurferkc679: buh bye
deviantlioness: bye!
deviantlioness: love you
crowdsurferkc679: love you too
deviantlioness: :D
crowdsurferkc679 signed off at 2:04:19 AM.
and then...
deviantlioness: sorry, lol
SunkistFleur: this is so confusingf
deviantlioness: sorry
deviantlioness: i know
deviantlioness: i got kicked off
SunkistFleur: oh, its ok
deviantlioness: so now lisa is on her sn?
SunkistFleur: yeha
SunkistFleur: crowdsurferkc679
deviantlioness: cool cool
deviantlioness: did lisa show you my new pictures?
SunkistFleur: nope
SunkistFleur: do show
SunkistFleur: are they on ur lj?
SunkistFleur: thingi
SunkistFleur: blurty
deviantlioness: no
deviantlioness: if you connect i can show you
deviantlioness wants to directly connect.
deviantlioness cancels request; no connection was made. (Note: For best results, you and your buddy should use the latest version of AIM.).
deviantlioness: just sec, do you wanna see them, lol
SunkistFleur: yeah
SunkistFleur wants to directly connect.
SunkistFleur: sorry i hit buttons
SunkistFleur: and didn't know
SunkistFleur is now directly connected.
deviantlioness: just sec
SunkistFleur: k
SunkistFleur: have you ever wanted someone so much you wanted time to speed up?
SunkistFleur: how do you spell herooiahfdb
SunkistFleur: herione
SunkistFleur: no
SunkistFleur: sorry i know you can't type while its loading
SunkistFleur: ooh almost there!!!
SunkistFleur: 10
SunkistFleur: i mean 20
deviantlioness: picture sent
deviantlioness: gag
deviantlioness: bad pic
deviantlioness: but you get it
SunkistFleur: did you have braces before
deviantlioness: lol, yeah
deviantlioness: lmao
SunkistFleur: where are you?
deviantlioness: nice emma
deviantlioness: um in the pic?
SunkistFleur: no
SunkistFleur: now
SunkistFleur: i love ur hair
SunkistFleur: fun funfun
deviantlioness: thank you!
deviantlioness: now i am in bremerton washington
SunkistFleur: give it to me baby is on...
SunkistFleur: how far is that from bend
deviantlioness: lol
SunkistFleur: in time
deviantlioness: 6 hours
deviantlioness: lol
deviantlioness: w/o the ferry
SunkistFleur: you have to go on a ferry?
SunkistFleur: damn
deviantlioness: no
SunkistFleur: we were gonna go pick you up
SunkistFleur: it cost money for a ferry
deviantlioness: no its 6 hours without the ferry, meaning going aroung puget sound
SunkistFleur: want to come to ebdn?
SunkistFleur: ok whats ur address, i want to gfo
deviantlioness: why don't you guys come and stay here?
SunkistFleur: no we cant
SunkistFleur: can you come to bend and have ur stuff ready in 6 hours?
deviantlioness: well,my bro is coming here in 2 days
SunkistFleur: we come get you
SunkistFleur: so
SunkistFleur: we come get you now
deviantlioness: what?
SunkistFleur: yeah
deviantlioness: you guys are crazy
deviantlioness: fucking insane
SunkistFleur: pontanuiuss
SunkistFleur: dghsd
deviantlioness: i love you
SunkistFleur: nofun fun fun
SunkistFleur: yes or no???
deviantlioness: well, come and stay for the weekend'
deviantlioness: like in a hotel
SunkistFleur: no cant
deviantlioness: my bro is coming, so i can't leave
deviantlioness: whyyyyyyy???
deviantlioness: pwease?
SunkistFleur: we come stay 4 a couple hours
deviantlioness: worth it
deviantlioness: i miss you guys so much
deviantlioness: ahhhhhh!!!!!!!
deviantlioness: take blake
deviantlioness: please
deviantlioness: i love you emmalee
deviantlioness: kjlgasdhflksakjedfl;askcfls;dfc
deviantlioness: i can't believe this
SunkistFleur: take him?
deviantlioness: if ya want
deviantlioness: no don't
deviantlioness: yeah... no i dunno
deviantlioness: no
SunkistFleur: oops
SunkistFleur: i don't think he can anyways
deviantlioness: aiight
deviantlioness: lol
SunkistFleur: h hasn't said anything
SunkistFleur: will you havce coffee
deviantlioness: uh, yeah, lol
SunkistFleur: have it read!!!
SunkistFleur: y
deviantlioness: no way am i gonna sleep tonight, lol
SunkistFleur: haha
SunkistFleur: ok, we gonna go now
SunkistFleur: buh byw
SunkistFleur is away at 2:03:04 AM.
SunkistFleur returned at 2:04:53 AM.
SunkistFleur direct connection is closed.
SunkistFleur is away at 2:05:19 AM.
i am sorry to say blake will not be coming... and therefore not coming, lol. well yeah, its sooo exciting for me i just hope they really make it, lol. ima call when its daylight, and see if they actually came i really hope so. i say daylight becuase i cannot find the cell phone in the dark and everyone is asleep and i should be too but i am staying up all niiiiiiiiigggghhhhtttt. i love you all specially emma and lisa!!!!!! wuv me
current mood:  excited
current music: david bowie-- title? eh i dunno
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| Wednesday, June 2nd, 2004
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10:46 pm
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Soooooo tired. i was asleep for two hours then woke up. i cannot wait to party again. i know it sounds horrible, and i will never be as bad as before, like letting it be a cover up for my feelings, but i miss it sooo much. just alot, ya know? and i miss partying with certain people and i just miss partying. how is lisa? emmalee, etc? Lisa, gimme a call if you wanna talk, i would call you but i would feel terrible intruding on your family stuff, ya know?
well anyways... i am 115 lbs now... ima dye my hair again, i dunno what color... i think black? i dunno... gimme feeback people. ;)
i love you, love me
current mood: groggy
current music: coldplay:clocks
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4:33 pm - Bam
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Hey Hey Hey,
mk, so i was looking at everyone's "el Jays" (nice little opp. acc) but yeah, took a gander at someones who pretty much admitted to being a liar, and now i am like, do i even wanna talk to him anymore? its wierd... 2 days until mikey and laura get here! hoooraaaah! uhm, i don't know what to say, i am talking to the liar. i have to pee (I M P) do you care? i used up all of my friends, but who needs them when all i want is you? blag... i feel so odd right now. i really wanna talk to lisa about whatever. anywhooooo.... You make me come, you make me complete, you make me completely miserable...
current mood: discontent
current music: you make me completely miserable
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3:55 pm - Hey hey hey
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Leo,
A conflict with an intruding and touchy friend is probable. In work, you will be influenced by gossip and you could make mistakes. In love, you will have an unexpected success.----------
so yeah, there is my horoscope. i think ima get a live journal, but i do not know... grrr, i am sooooo dreading 2 hours from now, harrison is coming over and he is so god damn annoying. ick. but i don't have a choice, i guess, i an NOT going over there... ick... anywho... well, i don't really have much to say... so yeah... blah... everyone says i look like brittany murphy and its getting annoying because i don't... oh well. eh.... i feel like crap, specially becuase i have been doing something i should not doooooooo... anywho. bored. carlye is such a dumb ho i just wanna stab her in the face with a shovel seriously.... i am bored, but i keep avoiding everyone here, so i cannot really bitch... its my fault, ya know?
blag (are ya feelin' my thug appeal?)
current mood: lethargic
current music: britney spears- in the zone
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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3:55 pm - Hey hey hey
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Leo,
A conflict with an intruding and touchy friend is probable. In work, you will be influenced by gossip and you could make mistakes. In love, you will have an unexpected success.----------
so yeah, there is my horoscope. i think ima get a live journal, but i do not know... grrr, i am sooooo dreading 2 hours from now, harrison is coming over and he is so god damn annoying. ick. but i don't have a choice, i guess, i an NOT going over there... ick... anywho... well, i don't really have much to say... so yeah... blah... everyone says i look like brittany murphy and its getting annoying because i don't... oh well. eh.... i feel like crap, specially becuase i have been doing something i should not doooooooo... anywho. bored. carlye is such a dumb ho i just wanna stab her in the face with a shovel seriously.... i am bored, but i keep avoiding everyone here, so i cannot really bitch... its my fault, ya know?
blag (are ya feelin' my thug appeal?)
current mood: lethargic
current music: britney spears- in the zone
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 1st, 2004
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11:20 pm - emo/morgan
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take the emo test: http://www.fuali.com/test.aspx?id=105
I am 19% emo, which contradicts my seething hatred of the genre... ehhh.... snuck a peek at chadney's journal, that kid bothers me from 500 miles away. oooh, talked to morgan...
deviantlioness: morgan?
xViolentxDollx: yah
xViolentxDollx: who is this
deviantlioness: bonnie...
xViolentxDollx: oh hey whats up
deviantlioness: not much
deviantlioness: i got your im from lisa (just in case i worked up the guts, lol) and thought i'd im you or whatever
deviantlioness: how are you?
xViolentxDollx: lol
xViolentxDollx: im good
xViolentxDollx: and you?
deviantlioness: thats good
deviantlioness: i am better, stressed about school and crap (missing two months throws you off) but other wise good
xViolentxDollx: yeah
xViolentxDollx: i know how that is
deviantlioness: what have you been up to?
xViolentxDollx: uhm nothing really
xViolentxDollx: im up in washinngton right now visiting
deviantlioness: i live in washington, lol
deviantlioness: bremerton
xViolentxDollx: serious?
xViolentxDollx: when'd you move
xViolentxDollx: and who are you living with?
deviantlioness: well, i went to rehab on feb 18, so i moved here like... march 15th i think
deviantlioness: my older sister and her husband and daughters
deviantlioness: where are you visiting in washington?
deviantlioness: I did not know you didn't know, but i guess... how would you lol? so you and lisa aren't good friends anymore? thats too bad
xViolentxDollx: yeah I guess
xViolentxDollx: im in sammamish
xViolentxDollx: on the plateau
deviantlioness: cool
deviantlioness: are you still going to summit?
xViolentxDollx: yeah
deviantlioness: thats cool
xViolentxDollx: not really
deviantlioness: yeah, i see your point. i might go back my senior out, i might drop out... highschool is stupid as hell
xViolentxDollx: yeah I know
xViolentxDollx: Im trying to just get my GED
xViolentxDollx: but my parents are retarded
xViolentxDollx: and there all like you have to graduate
deviantlioness: drama drama all the time... yeah, my parents were like that too, then the whole psyche ward thing, trying to off myself, not being able to handle petty teenage crap (including my own) well, they kinda kicked me out and said do whatcha want
xViolentxDollx: ah your so lucky
xViolentxDollx: my parents are like that but refuse to give up on me
deviantlioness: yeah, except there was like a month long period where i was like: "you're kicking me out? where do i goooo", but i can always go back to treatment lol! but yeah, my mom really wants me to graduate but she has pretty much given up parental stuff, she realized she and my step dad really sucked at it
xViolentxDollx: yeah
xViolentxDollx: lol
deviantlioness: When my real dad gets out i may move back to bend, i really miss some people there, but i don't if its worth it. everyone is bitching at me too, and i hate the teenagers and pervs here, but still, there are people i sooo do not want to see in bend
xViolentxDollx: yeah
deviantlioness: that town... people are ignorant sometimes (like everywhere) the biggest deal right now is Lisa, but she is coming up here, and then i will decide if i am moving back before my junior yeaqr
xViolentxDollx: are you still friends with lisa?
deviantlioness: yeah
xViolentxDollx: me and her kinda still talk sometimes
deviantlioness: thats cool
xViolentxDollx: but like we are nothing like we were before
deviantlioness: we had serious problems, i kinda had to chose between her and katie obenchain, but one day i just called her and i am glad i did lol
deviantlioness: it sucks when you aren't friends with your friends anymor
xViolentxDollx: yeah well it was nice talkin i gotta go
xViolentxDollx: im me another time
deviantlioness: mk
deviantlioness: later
yeeeaaah, not sure what to think? i guess we are cool...?
current mood:  calm
current music: afghan whigs:toy with me
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8:40 pm - People
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I fucking hate people. but here is a shocker, me and emmalee are cool. she and i reminisced about the night i... well... ya'll know what i did, and it was cool, but she was helluv wasted. its all gravy... blah blah blah I am sooo tired. i had a good therapy appointment, and i was officially diagnosed with add... fucking labels (just playing). life is doomed... my life is i mean, lol... hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaahaha. lisa blake dan rock my face because i have talked to them the most lately.... moving on....errr....
Giving In Lyrics
by Adema
Will you, walk me
To the edge again
Shaking, lonely, and I am drinking again
Woke up tonight and no one's here with me
I'm giving in to you
Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Caught up, in life
Losing all my friends
Family has tried, to heal all my addictions
Tragic it seems, to be alone again
I'm giving in to you
Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you
(Oh fuck)
I look forward, to dying tonight
Drinks still on myself, life's harder every day
The stress has got me
I'm giving in
Giving
Giving in now!
Take me under
(I'm killing all the faith)
I'm dying tonight
(I'm sick of all that faith)
Watch me crumble
(I'm killing all the faith)
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Watch me crumble
I'm giving in to you
I'm crying tonight
I'm giving in to you
Take me under
I'm giving in to you
I'm dying tonight
I'm giving in to you
-------------------------------------------------------
No Man's Woman Lyrics
by Sinead O'connor
I don't wanna be no man's woman
It don't make me happy this mantrolling
thing that you got for me so I become
no man's woman
I don't wanna be no man's woman
I've other work I want to get done
I haven't travelled this far to become
no man's woman
no man's woman
Cuz I'm tired of it
and I'm so scared of it
that I'll never trust again
cuz a man can fake you
take your soul and make you
miserable in so much pain
My friends think I'm alone but I've got secrets
I don't tell everything about the love I get
I got a lovin' man but he's a spirit
He never does me harm never treats me bad
He'd never takes away all the love he has
and I'm forgiven oh a million times
I'm never tired of it
and I'm not scared of it
cuz it doesn't cause me pain
Like a man can fake you
take your soul and make you
never be yourself again
I never wanna be no man's woman
I only wanna be my own woman
I haven't travelled this far to become
no man's woman (x3)
------------------------------------------------------
Just One Lyrics
by Hoobastank
I wanna live
I wanna leave
I wanna open up and breath
I wanna go
I wanna be
I wanna feel it constantly
Gotta show
Gotta stay
I've gotta feeling that won't go away
I've gotta know
If they got away
My oppertunities
Just one,
Chance is all I ever wanted
Just one,
Time I'd like to win the game
From now on,
I'd take the chance if I can have it
Just one, just one
I need to think
I need to feed
I need to see if I still bleed
I need a place
I need a time
Cause I need to step outside that line
Gonna give
Gonna take
I'm gonna scream till I'm awake
I'm gonna budge
Gonna budge
Open up the door
Just one,
Chance is all I ever wanted
Just one,
Time I'd like to win the game
From now on,
I'd take the chance if I can have it
Just one, just one
And if I knew
When the door was open
I'd go through
I would go on through
And I can say
What I do never be the same
Never be the same
Just one,
Chance is all I ever wanted
Just one,
Time I'd like to win the game
From now on,
I'd take the chance if I can have it
Just one, just one
Just one,
I'd take the chance if I can have it
Just one,
I'd take the chance if I can have it
Just one,
I'd take the chance if I can have it
Just one, just one
-------------------------------------------------------
Pool Shark (orig) Lyrics
by Sublime
Lying in my plastic bed,
thinking how things weren't so cool with me.
My baby likes to shoot pool,
I like lying naked in my bedroom, tying off that dinosaur tonight,
it used to be so cool.
Now I've got that needle, I can shake, but I can't bleed.
Take it away, but I want more and more.
One day I'm gonna loose the war.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Karma's Payment Lyrics
by Modest Mouse
uh-oh down low
I am not who I want to be
I probably will not ever be
I drove my car June 14th
I drove it right down the street
I had not had any sleep
so I ate Minithins to stay awake
you crashed your car right into me
there was two days I didn't sleep
uh-oh downlow
I am not who I want to be
I probably will not ever be
I took a trip down to California
karma payment plan
my car broke down out in the street
the radiator sprung a leak
I met this guy he said he could help me
I'm on the karma payment plan
we went to his house and did some speed
he said karma would pay for this deed
he got it fixed and he started to scare me
I ditched him eventually
and came back for the van
the next morning
I'm on the karma payment plan
I went to LA the next day I got
jacked in a real bad way
I cant tell you
its a long story
--------------------------------------------------------
There She Goes Lyrics
by Velvet Underground
There she goes again
She's out on the streets again
She's down on her knees, my friend
But you know she'll never ask you please again
Now take a look, there's no tears in her eyes
She won't take it from just any guy, what can you do
You see her walkin' on down the street
Look at all your friends she's gonna meet
You better hit her
There she goes again
She's knocked out on her feet again
She's down on her knees, my friend
But you know she'll never ask you please again
Now take a look, there's no tears in her eyes
Like a bird, you know she would fly, what can you do
You see her walkin' on down the street
Look at all your friends that she's gonna meet
You better hit her
Now take a look, there's no tears in her eyes
Like a bird, you know she will fly, fly, fly away
See her walking on down the street
Look at all your friends that she's gonna meet
She's gonna bawl and shout
She's gonna work it
She's gonna work it out, bye bye
Bye bye baby
All right
current mood:  curious
current music: modest mouse-
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