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Saturday, March 13th, 2004
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11:36a - don't hurt yourself
i am writing because i am not talking to anybody i am "uber" bored. today hm i really have no idea what i am doing. i need to call danielle to tell her i can sleepover.and er's going over so yeah.and i don't know about allie i never know about her she has a game and will call me when she gets back so yeah i don't know who i am hanging out with where i am going and when i will be adventuring off. so far i have to clean up before i do anything though.
i keep checking my away message as if i am expecting and IM. i know i won't get one i never get one. one of my goals is to have that little away message box filled up with IM's so feel someone needs me. ok that sounded a little conceided but i don't mean it in a conceided way.
i had a really weird dream last night and it goes like this:
i was at this eh school in cherry hill(on the school it said cherry hill middle school) so then i get out to get my science binder and all the sudden i end up being in out school's gymnasium with allie's "secondary family" the costiglias and then they're giving out all these christmas gifts.(on the other side of the gym my homeroom is having gym class) and the gym goes into there house and i'm in there getting all these candies and then i see ms.nunn bring all this food in from the grocery store i mean it's A LOT of food. about 50 boxes of cereal. so then i see these little girls with these winnie the pooh hair ties and i liked them and stole them and put them on and walked into the kitchen and randomly took out my 311 cd and put in the cd. then i go outside and play soccer with my old team the spirit. which is weird because the coaches are saying oh so taylor your back now hmmm.... so then i kick the ball into the net and do drills with my team. in shorts and a sports bra in the snow! well there was some snow on the ground. and then i went back in the house thing and went to the bathroom and felt guilty about the hair ties and took them all out. my hair was wet for who knows what reason. and just ran out of the house and gym and now i am back in the school looking around for my mom. i walk into the gym of the cherry hill school(not the gym from before) and it's a big gym and there's all these rec teams having basketball games and all the kids are just staring at me as i rapidly walk by because i am getting nervous i can't find my mom and i go outside and see these people smoking and all waiting for people and then i go over to my moms car in the parking lot that's dark(yeah it's night time) and she's not in there and since i'm freaked out by this crazy school i start the car and put it in reverse and then my mom comes and says no not yet. so we leave
....there's more to the dream i just can't think of it it's getting hard for my mind but it was a really long but weird dream
yeah i have a lot of those weird dreams. once adam anderson was molesting me in a ron jon surfshop and i remember there was guinea pigs and i was runnning away from these creepy looking creature people things and all the sudden i think they are gone so i look at the clothes and he comes up and says "hey baby, what are you looking at" and then i say i like these things but quietly and then he goes maybe we should go out get to know each other and he starts taking my head and brings it close to his cest and kissing me and feeling me up and all in the store and i say no no i don't know you(even though adam is quite the hottie it was just creepy and this is a dream) and he doesn't stop so i see people browing the store and i say HELP HELP and they just ignore me and go she's just messing around. then i say FUCKING HELP ME HE"S MOLESTING ME !!!!!!! and they pull him away and some lady that works there takes me and i walk around with her so i don't get molested again and then i see adam following me around and i tell the lady she's following me see look and then she says don't worry i'm watching you
man i have weird dreams and now that i think about it i'm going to write every dream that i remember because i feel like it ok? and you don't have to read i'm just going to write because i doubt your at all intrested in my dreams another one is...
i was walking around my neighborhood with my mom and brother on the "non-ghetto-side" and all the sudden we get to bedford court(?, wow that's sad i don't know a court in my neighborhood moving on) and then all the houese in my neighborhood are huge uite frankly i believe they were mansions. and my mom brother and i walk into this big brick building with stained glass windows and nice lights and big trees in front. so then we walk to the top and my mom says were moving out of hoouse and into this. i agree. then we walk around and there's this tabby cat and we continue walking around and it's nice. i look out the window and were real high it's cool and i see kevin decristofor and chris carliantonio outside playing basketball. and then we leave the house and into our old taurus that my mom used to drive. and we drive towards my house i live in now but the road has gotten longer and it looks more like RT73 near chilis but with just tree's and then i get freaked out. and then i wake up
another dream...
i'm in this mall it's huge bigger then the mall of america. it's not a wide mall though like the moorestown mall it's really tall you look up and you see layers of well people walking and shopping. i playing with this i don't know airplane(?) and the security starts chasing after me but see i'm in a dream and i can fly so i fly and run real fast up the stairs to the victorias secret type store that's real big and bright. it has all this make-up, clothing, and obviously lingerie, i get fascinated and start trying stuff on. apperently the lady in the store doesn't seem to tolerate me that much so i keep trying stuff on and walk around looking at all the stuff. there's a lot of people in the store but while i'm trying on clothes the lady says GET OUT! so i do and she says put your stuff back then she locks me up in the dressing room! the dipshit she is walks away and forgets that theres an opening so i sit and think about how i can set free without her finding me and eventually id o and she catches me! then i have to go back in this secluded dressing room and i'm freaking out because she's getting security guards and i have no idea why i am in there. then i eventually say fuck it i'm leaving and i do i run/fly as fast as i could and end up going into like hogwarts castle(from harry potter) and i'mwalking through and go ito this well garden walk thing... after that everything is just a blur
another dream..( i don't know who this one starts exactly but i remember)
it was night and tyler(goldsmith) and i were hiding be hind this small hill behind angelas house waiting for her to cme out so we could run away. i felt like a person in the army hiding. then angelas dad comes out and he has a rifle and "locks-and-loads" it and says, " I KNOW YOUR OUT HERE KIDS" and he's looking for tyler and i and i'm freaking out so since we were wearing all black because were running away we run and sprint towards the lake and all the sudden i'm back by my house with someone(i'm not naming at the moment) and i'm walking with them and i kissed him. wow that was amazing. it was awesome and then the rest of the dream is a blur. fuck i wish there was another kiss
one time in a dream i was driving on RT38/70(they kinda mixed in) and it was real cool, because i driving and it was good driving i wasn't swerving or anything but driving and it was raining.
then another dream was i was visiting a guy in jail with my mom, well my mom was visiting the guy i was just with her and she said it was a surprise for me, because it was her "new boyfriend:(not that i agreee to a boyfriend in jail but whatever it's a dream remember) so then we get to his cell and i almost pass out he's so fucking ugly. it's this chode'y looking guy with glass and the top of his head is bald but the little hair he has it's curly and frizzy next thing i know i'm home and i go outside and i go into this hughe red limino with casey platas(she went to my elementary school) and were sitting in there and rolling around because there is no seats just a floor. and we go to the mall but it was in the air (we were not the mall) and i meet my uncle ray and it seemed like the stores were right next to those hughe chandeliers. and we were walking around talking about my mom and her boyfriend and my uncle ray tells me they are getting married!!!!!!!!!! it was sooo bright where we were walking that we leave and i go home and start crying to her and i go outside on the side of my grass and there's this tube type thing that's in the ground on my grass and i lay in there in the warm water with my clothes on and then i wake up...
that felt good letting all thse dreams out ok now i'm just listening to Uncalm by 311 and i realy like this song not that that matters to you, and i'm in a bad but good mood. i don't want to clean up and i'm drinking apple juice. that makes me think of barbershop which makes me think of the stealing a MAC machine which i really want to do or break into someones house,planning to that one day, really i am. not do anything just walk in and walk out kinda thing. ok i'm done. your probably getting real bored of reading this.
(comment on this)
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11:36a - don't hurt yourself
i am writing because i am not talking to anybody i am "uber" bored. today hm i really have no idea what i am doing. i need to call danielle to tell her i can sleepover.and er's going over so yeah.and i don't know about allie i never know about her she has a game and will call me when she gets back so yeah i don't know who i am hanging out with where i am going and when i will be adventuring off. so far i have to clean up before i do anything though.
i keep checking my away message as if i am expecting and IM. i know i won't get one i never get one. one of my goals is to have that little away message box filled up with IM's so feel someone needs me. ok that sounded a little conceided but i don't mean it in a conceided way.
i had a really weird dream last night and it goes like this:
i was at this eh school in cherry hill(on the school it said cherry hill middle school) so then i get out to get my science binder and all the sudden i end up being in out school's gymnasium with allie's "secondary family" the costiglias and then they're giving out all these christmas gifts.(on the other side of the gym my homeroom is having gym class) and the gym goes into there house and i'm in there getting all these candies and then i see ms.nunn bring all this food in from the grocery store i mean it's A LOT of food. about 50 boxes of cereal. so then i see these little girls with these winnie the pooh hair ties and i liked them and stole them and put them on and walked into the kitchen and randomly took out my 311 cd and put in the cd. then i go outside and play soccer with my old team the spirit. which is weird because the coaches are saying oh so taylor your back now hmmm.... so then i kick the ball into the net and do drills with my team. in shorts and a sports bra in the snow! well there was some snow on the ground. and then i went back in the house thing and went to the bathroom and felt guilty about the hair ties and took them all out. my hair was wet for who knows what reason. and just ran out of the house and gym and now i am back in the school looking around for my mom. i walk into the gym of the cherry hill school(not the gym from before) and it's a big gym and there's all these rec teams having basketball games and all the kids are just staring at me as i rapidly walk by because i am getting nervous i can't find my mom and i go outside and see these people smoking and all waiting for people and then i go over to my moms car in the parking lot that's dark(yeah it's night time) and she's not in there and since i'm freaked out by this crazy school i start the car and put it in reverse and then my mom comes and says no not yet. so we leave
....there's more to the dream i just can't think of it it's getting hard for my mind but it was a really long but weird dream
yeah i have a lot of those weird dreams. once adam anderson was molesting me in a ron jon surfshop and i remember there was guinea pigs and i was runnning away from these creepy looking creature people things and all the sudden i think they are gone so i look at the clothes and he comes up and says "hey baby, what are you looking at" and then i say i like these things but quietly and then he goes maybe we should go out get to know each other and he starts taking my head and brings it close to his cest and kissing me and feeling me up and all in the store and i say no no i don't know you(even though adam is quite the hottie it was just creepy and this is a dream) and he doesn't stop so i see people browing the store and i say HELP HELP and they just ignore me and go she's just messing around. then i say FUCKING HELP ME HE"S MOLESTING ME !!!!!!! and they pull him away and some lady that works there takes me and i walk around with her so i don't get molested again and then i see adam following me around and i tell the lady she's following me see look and then she says don't worry i'm watching you
man i have weird dreams and now that i think about it i'm going to write every dream that i remember because i feel like it ok? and you don't have to read i'm just going to write because i doubt your at all intrested in my dreams another one is...
i was walking around my neighborhood with my mom and brother on the "non-ghetto-side" and all the sudden we get to bedford court(?, wow that's sad i don't know a court in my neighborhood moving on) and then all the houese in my neighborhood are huge uite frankly i believe they were mansions. and my mom brother and i walk into this big brick building with stained glass windows and nice lights and big trees in front. so then we walk to the top and my mom says were moving out of hoouse and into this. i agree. then we walk around and there's this tabby cat and we continue walking around and it's nice. i look out the window and were real high it's cool and i see kevin decristofor and chris carliantonio outside playing basketball. and then we leave the house and into our old taurus that my mom used to drive. and we drive towards my house i live in now but the road has gotten longer and it looks more like RT73 near chilis but with just tree's and then i get freaked out. and then i wake up
another dream...
i'm in this mall it's huge bigger then the mall of america. it's not a wide mall though like the moorestown mall it's really tall you look up and you see layers of well people walking and shopping. i playing with this i don't know airplane(?) and the security starts chasing after me but see i'm in a dream and i can fly so i fly and run real fast up the stairs to the victorias secret type store that's real big and bright. it has all this make-up, clothing, and obviously lingerie, i get fascinated and start trying stuff on. apperently the lady in the store doesn't seem to tolerate me that much so i keep trying stuff on and walk around looking at all the stuff. there's a lot of people in the store but while i'm trying on clothes the lady says GET OUT! so i do and she says put your stuff back then she locks me up in the dressing room! the dipshit she is walks away and forgets that theres an opening so i sit and think about how i can set free without her finding me and eventually id o and she catches me! then i have to go back in this secluded dressing room and i'm freaking out because she's getting security guards and i have no idea why i am in there. then i eventually say fuck it i'm leaving and i do i run/fly as fast as i could and end up going into like hogwarts castle(from harry potter) and i'mwalking through and go ito this well garden walk thing... after that everything is just a blur
another dream..( i don't know who this one starts exactly but i remember)
it was night and tyler(goldsmith) and i were hiding be hind this small hill behind angelas house waiting for her to cme out so we could run away. i felt like a person in the army hiding. then angelas dad comes out and he has a rifle and "locks-and-loads" it and says, " I KNOW YOUR OUT HERE KIDS" and he's looking for tyler and i and i'm freaking out so since we were wearing all black because were running away we run and sprint towards the lake and all the sudden i'm back by my house with someone(i'm not naming at the moment) and i'm walking with them and i kissed him. wow that was amazing. it was awesome and then the rest of the dream is a blur. fuck i wish there was another kiss
one time in a dream i was driving on RT38/70(they kinda mixed in) and it was real cool, because i driving and it was good driving i wasn't swerving or anything but driving and it was raining.
then another dream was i was visiting a guy in jail with my mom, well my mom was visiting the guy i was just with her and she said it was a surprise for me, because it was her "new boyfriend:(not that i agreee to a boyfriend in jail but whatever it's a dream remember) so then we get to his cell and i almost pass out he's so fucking ugly. it's this chode'y looking guy with glass and the top of his head is bald but the little hair he has it's curly and frizzy next thing i know i'm home and i go outside and i go into this hughe red limino with casey platas(she went to my elementary school) and were sitting in there and rolling around because there is no seats just a floor. and we go to the mall but it was in the air (we were not the mall) and i meet my uncle ray and it seemed like the stores were right next to those hughe chandeliers. and we were walking around talking about my mom and her boyfriend and my uncle ray tells me they are getting married!!!!!!!!!! it was sooo bright where we were walking that we leave and i go home and start crying to her and i go outside on the side of my grass and there's this tube type thing that's in the ground on my grass and i lay in there in the warm water with my clothes on and then i wake up...
that felt good letting all thse dreams out ok now i'm just listening to Uncalm by 311 and i realy like this song not that that matters to you, and i'm in a bad but good mood. i don't want to clean up and i'm drinking apple juice. that makes me think of barbershop which makes me think of the stealing a MAC machine which i really want to do or break into someones house,planning to that one day, really i am. not do anything just walk in and walk out kinda thing. ok i'm done. your probably getting real bored of reading this.
(comment on this)
|
11:36a - don't hurt yourself
i am writing because i am not talking to anybody i am "uber" bored. today hm i really have no idea what i am doing. i need to call danielle to tell her i can sleepover.and er's going over so yeah.and i don't know about allie i never know about her she has a game and will call me when she gets back so yeah i don't know who i am hanging out with where i am going and when i will be adventuring off. so far i have to clean up before i do anything though.
i keep checking my away message as if i am expecting and IM. i know i won't get one i never get one. one of my goals is to have that little away message box filled up with IM's so feel someone needs me. ok that sounded a little conceided but i don't mean it in a conceided way.
i had a really weird dream last night and it goes like this:
i was at this eh school in cherry hill(on the school it said cherry hill middle school) so then i get out to get my science binder and all the sudden i end up being in out school's gymnasium with allie's "secondary family" the costiglias and then they're giving out all these christmas gifts.(on the other side of the gym my homeroom is having gym class) and the gym goes into there house and i'm in there getting all these candies and then i see ms.nunn bring all this food in from the grocery store i mean it's A LOT of food. about 50 boxes of cereal. so then i see these little girls with these winnie the pooh hair ties and i liked them and stole them and put them on and walked into the kitchen and randomly took out my 311 cd and put in the cd. then i go outside and play soccer with my old team the spirit. which is weird because the coaches are saying oh so taylor your back now hmmm.... so then i kick the ball into the net and do drills with my team. in shorts and a sports bra in the snow! well there was some snow on the ground. and then i went back in the house thing and went to the bathroom and felt guilty about the hair ties and took them all out. my hair was wet for who knows what reason. and just ran out of the house and gym and now i am back in the school looking around for my mom. i walk into the gym of the cherry hill school(not the gym from before) and it's a big gym and there's all these rec teams having basketball games and all the kids are just staring at me as i rapidly walk by because i am getting nervous i can't find my mom and i go outside and see these people smoking and all waiting for people and then i go over to my moms car in the parking lot that's dark(yeah it's night time) and she's not in there and since i'm freaked out by this crazy school i start the car and put it in reverse and then my mom comes and says no not yet. so we leave
....there's more to the dream i just can't think of it it's getting hard for my mind but it was a really long but weird dream
yeah i have a lot of those weird dreams. once adam anderson was molesting me in a ron jon surfshop and i remember there was guinea pigs and i was runnning away from these creepy looking creature people things and all the sudden i think they are gone so i look at the clothes and he comes up and says "hey baby, what are you looking at" and then i say i like these things but quietly and then he goes maybe we should go out get to know each other and he starts taking my head and brings it close to his cest and kissing me and feeling me up and all in the store and i say no no i don't know you(even though adam is quite the hottie it was just creepy and this is a dream) and he doesn't stop so i see people browing the store and i say HELP HELP and they just ignore me and go she's just messing around. then i say FUCKING HELP ME HE"S MOLESTING ME !!!!!!! and they pull him away and some lady that works there takes me and i walk around with her so i don't get molested again and then i see adam following me around and i tell the lady she's following me see look and then she says don't worry i'm watching you
man i have weird dreams and now that i think about it i'm going to write every dream that i remember because i feel like it ok? and you don't have to read i'm just going to write because i doubt your at all intrested in my dreams another one is...
i was walking around my neighborhood with my mom and brother on the "non-ghetto-side" and all the sudden we get to bedford court(?, wow that's sad i don't know a court in my neighborhood moving on) and then all the houese in my neighborhood are huge uite frankly i believe they were mansions. and my mom brother and i walk into this big brick building with stained glass windows and nice lights and big trees in front. so then we walk to the top and my mom says were moving out of hoouse and into this. i agree. then we walk around and there's this tabby cat and we continue walking around and it's nice. i look out the window and were real high it's cool and i see kevin decristofor and chris carliantonio outside playing basketball. and then we leave the house and into our old taurus that my mom used to drive. and we drive towards my house i live in now but the road has gotten longer and it looks more like RT73 near chilis but with just tree's and then i get freaked out. and then i wake up
another dream...
i'm in this mall it's huge bigger then the mall of america. it's not a wide mall though like the moorestown mall it's really tall you look up and you see layers of well people walking and shopping. i playing with this i don't know airplane(?) and the security starts chasing after me but see i'm in a dream and i can fly so i fly and run real fast up the stairs to the victorias secret type store that's real big and bright. it has all this make-up, clothing, and obviously lingerie, i get fascinated and start trying stuff on. apperently the lady in the store doesn't seem to tolerate me that much so i keep trying stuff on and walk around looking at all the stuff. there's a lot of people in the store but while i'm trying on clothes the lady says GET OUT! so i do and she says put your stuff back then she locks me up in the dressing room! the dipshit she is walks away and forgets that theres an opening so i sit and think about how i can set free without her finding me and eventually id o and she catches me! then i have to go back in this secluded dressing room and i'm freaking out because she's getting security guards and i have no idea why i am in there. then i eventually say fuck it i'm leaving and i do i run/fly as fast as i could and end up going into like hogwarts castle(from harry potter) and i'mwalking through and go ito this well garden walk thing... after that everything is just a blur
another dream..( i don't know who this one starts exactly but i remember)
it was night and tyler(goldsmith) and i were hiding be hind this small hill behind angelas house waiting for her to cme out so we could run away. i felt like a person in the army hiding. then angelas dad comes out and he has a rifle and "locks-and-loads" it and says, " I KNOW YOUR OUT HERE KIDS" and he's looking for tyler and i and i'm freaking out so since we were wearing all black because were running away we run and sprint towards the lake and all the sudden i'm back by my house with someone(i'm not naming at the moment) and i'm walking with them and i kissed him. wow that was amazing. it was awesome and then the rest of the dream is a blur. fuck i wish there was another kiss
one time in a dream i was driving on RT38/70(they kinda mixed in) and it was real cool, because i driving and it was good driving i wasn't swerving or anything but driving and it was raining.
then another dream was i was visiting a guy in jail with my mom, well my mom was visiting the guy i was just with her and she said it was a surprise for me, because it was her "new boyfriend:(not that i agreee to a boyfriend in jail but whatever it's a dream remember) so then we get to his cell and i almost pass out he's so fucking ugly. it's this chode'y looking guy with glass and the top of his head is bald but the little hair he has it's curly and frizzy next thing i know i'm home and i go outside and i go into this hughe red limino with casey platas(she went to my elementary school) and were sitting in there and rolling around because there is no seats just a floor. and we go to the mall but it was in the air (we were not the mall) and i meet my uncle ray and it seemed like the stores were right next to those hughe chandeliers. and we were walking around talking about my mom and her boyfriend and my uncle ray tells me they are getting married!!!!!!!!!! it was sooo bright where we were walking that we leave and i go home and start crying to her and i go outside on the side of my grass and there's this tube type thing that's in the ground on my grass and i lay in there in the warm water with my clothes on and then i wake up...
that felt good letting all thse dreams out ok now i'm just listening to Uncalm by 311 and i realy like this song not that that matters to you, and i'm in a bad but good mood. i don't want to clean up and i'm drinking apple juice. that makes me think of barbershop which makes me think of the stealing a MAC machine which i really want to do or break into someones house,planning to that one day, really i am. not do anything just walk in and walk out kinda thing. ok i'm done. your probably getting real bored of reading this.
(comment on this)
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