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she screams "emo." [09 Feb 2004|06:24pm]
\I really hate sundays. Cause there is no way in hell can I sleep the night without worrying about waking up early. I was tossing & turning. It was completely impossible to sleep. I really had a weird dream about being with this girl & she vanished like sand once she was hit with a baseball bat?? I have no idea, my dreams are crazy and do not make sense what so ever. School was great, just everybody seems to be grouchy today. I guess it's cause it's a monday? well my math teacher was being very mean to all of us, and he's usually mellow. Maybe it was his weekly male-PMS? (that's IMS... it's when old people get grouchy like women with pms, minus the period), and well, he was mean. I couldn't even breathe in that class, cause he might kill me or something. After that was art, and it's so boring. I'm drawing "Pocari Sweat" Bottles as tesselations (repeated patterns), and it's so annoying. It actually gives me headaches. After that, was english, I was watching that damn Romeo & Juliet movie, and we've been covering this book for such a long time and got nowhere. After that!!!! was Business, I don't know what was wrong with me but something made me feel weird. I felt like I was being watched. I absolutely hate that, so I wasn't really feeling good in business, but oh well. Thank god I didn't have the test, cause I suck at tests. I had lunch, but I managed to do it upstairs cause there's too much noise downstairs. I like being downstairs, but there's too much people. I hate noise... when I have to do work. & usually people in lunch are loud & chew loudly. I hear people chew & gnaw at their food like it's a rope. Yet, I hear people chew gum in class loudly everyday. It's so annoying, especially when you're taking a test and you just want everyone to shut the fuck up and do the damn test. Then I had science and I was just falling asleep. I was looking across the room, and I realized everyone is upset/depressed cause they feel they're forced to be in a room for fourty minutes (40 min for the lazy), that have to listen to the teacher talk and talk about nothing. Oh, last but not least, I had Global Studies. It was great, but it could've been better if we didn't have to grade our papers. I had to grade this guy's test (you know, the teacher passes other papers AND YOU GRADE IT), and like, I didn'tfeel like it. I just put checks on all of it. I mean, hell, the guy's answers sucked anyway. My grade sucked, i had a 20. But, I didn't have much time to finish it, I guess it's my fault..... Today is a bit slow since I don't feel so g ood without my sleep. Soo Bin, Jenz & Suzana went to queens center mall, I wanted to go but, i just didn't feel good. Plus, Jenz told me, not soo bin...sheesh, that's nice. well, whatever, I don't care about it much cause I didn't feel good. I would've gone but I would fall asleep...

I feel weird. I don't feel myself. I am in a point of my life where I need time to spend with a special person. I don't know someone special to me, but I need to have a special someone with me sometimes just to hold closely & love. I miss loving someone. You know, that feelign where you are obligated to wake up day by day, just to see a smile on that special person's face... just making her (or him for those that.......are girls) happy makes your day brighter. A day with a special person makes your days sunny. Even if it's raining, your days seem happy and bright. But, if there's a day where you aren't together, you feel you will just faint without being with that person... I had that feeling before, it was soo good. I was so happy rto wake up everyday just to know she was alive and well. Just knowing she's there for me, she's alive, and that she loves me made my life much better. Many people thought I just lie about this just so she would think I really cared about her, but it's the truth. Straight from my heart, and if people don't believe that then they shouldn't listen to me at all. You know, there was always this one dream I wanted to accomplish. To oneday be alone in a room, with a big open window, and I would just look outside the stars & the moon with my special someone.... I haven't had a chance to do that with my ex, but maybe I will with a soon as I find out I like someone. It is not easy for me to like someone.

MY LIFE IN A PARAGRAPH!!! WOOo!!!!! [06 Feb 2004|06:31pm]
Wow... Has been a while since I've updated this journal... Guess I will now.

Living in NYC isn't easy. Neither is it hard. It's more of a jungle (really should've been named Zoo York..). Being in a Private Catholic school almost all my life was quite a challenge. When people hear the words, "catholic school," they think of white religious kids going to church everyday and be nice to old people. that is completely wrong. In the school I was, the majority was Hispanic & Irish/Polish. I really didn't fit in neither of them, so that just made things hard. I know spanish, but I'm a spaniard. I have light skin too. So many hispanics just think I'm a white boy, with no spanish relation at all. Yet I know a lot of spanish... just that I look white. Neither am I polish or irish. So, I was what you call, "the others." In the others group were, 4 asians (yes, only four), 1 egyptcian, & 1 spaniard directly from Spain. So they were really who I could get along with close. It wasn't that I was racial or picky with races, it's just that they (the people who weren't the others) thought I was an outsider or an outcast. Maybe, to them I was some weird alien. Yet, I pretty much had the same traits as they did. I liked pokemon, they liked pokemon (even though I bothered to spend $300 in pokemon stuff in Tokyo, Japan).... -_-;;. I liked sports, they liked sports. But one thing I had almost no body did... I was in my teenage rock angst mode! I liked Rob Zombie, Iron Maiden, Led Zepplin, Ozzy Osbourne, Slipknot (not anymore, it just consisted of repetitive screams & guitar rifts), & Rammstien... Rock music was my paridise. My way to get away from reality whenever I needed too. I still love rock, yet many other music as well. Pop, techno, industrial, eletronica, dance & so on. But at the moment, I was a total rocker. You know, chained wallet, spiked hair, blonde highlights & an urge to write anarchy signs on things.... lol. Yet, as years went on I lost that touch. I am not really a rocker. I am more myself than I was ever before. I won't change for anyone... not even you.

P.S.: But, I love NYC!

wooo [30 Jan 2004|09:33pm]
Today I didn't really do anything. I guess it's cause it's a bit too cold to do anything and the snow's still there. But tomorrow I'll do something. I'm going to visit a friend named Soo Bin (Yeah, that's a korean name), and then I'm going to help her find a cell phone. I don't know how tomorrow will turn out, but all I know that it'll be fun. I honestly want spring and summer to come, I hate winter. I hate this snow. The snow & cold really stops me from trying to have a good time outside, and doesn't let me skateboard in the park....argh. I made a online-friend from Singapor!!!! aint that great!? lol, well that's all. Not much to say about today. I'm selling things on the internet and it's going along great. If you want to know what I'm selling (sorry, not weed), ask. ^_^

My photos ^_^ [28 Jan 2004|08:43pm]


Intradukkcion [28 Jan 2004|08:06pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | Nirvana - Very Ape ]

Hey hi my name is Sebastian and this is my online journal. It's called (a) blurty. Blurty is an online journal page where you can write about your day, about who you love, who you hate, whatever the fuck you want. The reason I'm even explaining what this is, is because most people would stare at this page and ask themselves, "What the hell is this?" It's a journal, my journal...

Nothing really happened today. It snowed a lot, so I didn't go to school. It was a bit boring, but not that bad. I'm going to help Soo Bin get a cell phone soon... Maybe over the weekend. I'm not going to do anything tomorrow either. I was helping a friend with his/her problems about his/her love mate. I cannot really tell you who that is because he/she might kill me... I respect his/her privacy. I honestly love to hate school. School's boring, school work sucks, and it's 7 hours each day. I fucking hate gym days too, cause I have to wake up 40 minutes earlier just to get in school before 8:05... Here are the classes I have to deal with>_<

 Math A - It's so damn boring... and numbers confuse me.

Art - I was never an artistic person in drawing, so my drawings look like 2 year old doodles

English - We're reading Romeo & Juliet now, and all the old english words that they use, it makes me fall asleep... :/

Business - Booooooooooorrrring

Pre-Chemistry - Not so bad considering everyone is being a clown there

Global Studies It's funny! cause ... it just is... That's it for now, I'm going to chat on msn.... o_O;;


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