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Krazy Good Fun [29 Nov 2003|11:35pm] [ mood | cynical ] [ music | Disturbed - Voices ] My day was fun ^_^ Mike came over, then Max. We walked to David's house, but he wasn't home. Mike left, and I fell asleep for a lil bit while Max played video games. I'm glad I did cause it killed time and it was really relaxing. Then Rocky came over and they played video games, and then Max and I went to David's house. Some guy was there name Chris, but he said his nickname was Pyro. He's kool. And David's mom is super nice! She asked me my astrology sign, and she's a Capricorn too ^_^ We had to leave early, but that's okee. Then Max left, I played Monopoly and Pokemon cards with Rocky for a bit, and he left at 10:30. Now, I'm online having the time of my life ^_^ I have some krazy fun plans, krazy fun. Even more fun than making ppl feel stupid over the internet. Life is good. Melissa Killing My Fantasy

"Your reaction was better than I had hoped for. You're fun." [29 Nov 2003|04:01am] [ mood | cheerful ] Well, today was whatever. I was woken up several times by phone calls and what not. Especially to use that stupid machine >.< Oh, well. I was hanging out w/ Rocky all day, and Frank came over at 6:30. We didn't go to the movies, instead we hung out at my house. The movies woulda been too crowded, and I don't like that. Frank's a great guy and all, but I don't really like him. I don't like anyone, and I wanna keep it that way and take my time, like Alan said ^_^ After Frank left, I talked to Max on the phone. He and Mike are going over my house tomarro, which will be fun. We'll probably stop by David's house. And ppl I dunno have been IMing me online. Blah. I've been talking to Ryan online more too. G2G Melissa PS I feel like Legato Bluesummers... Killing My Fantasy

A Waste of Oxygen [28 Nov 2003|02:30am] [ music | Disturbed - The Game ] I strongly dislike him. I can't say hate, because to hate someone you might as well love them, you think about them just as much. He's just fun to torment, oh so fun. He bothered me again about his shit. He told me he was stopping by my house tomarro to get the stuff. I told him that if he did, they wouldn't be in the condition he wants them in, plus I wouldn't be home. So instead of responding, he put on his away message. So I broke the Naruto CD ^_^ And if he DOES stop by my house tomarro, and I happen to be home, I'll rip the pages and the book cover. He kept saying "You do something, and you just wait!" Wait for what? For him to tell his mommy? I coulda put nail polish on the CD and waited for him to put it in his computer, that woulda blew it up. But my mom brought up a good point, then his mom would have to pay for it to get fixed again, and she shouldn't have to suffer for her idiot son's BS. I can't believe he called me a moron, what a hypocritical thing to say! I read *somewhere* that he was hurt when I said something about liking some guy that actually treats me well and makes me feel good. It's tru, he treated me like shit. No wonder his longest relationship was w/ a lesbian trying to cover up. I heard he was touchy-feely- with one of his friends the other day, and she didn't say "no" cause she was scared he would get mad. What a nice friend he must be. I can't believe I ever got with him, how embarrasing! I've had so many ppl tell me that they couldn't believe I'd get with a guy like him, that he was stupid and ugly etc. So true. I'd ramble on, but I'm hungry and tired. It's too bad that shit like that wastes Earth's precious space and oxygen. Au revior Melissa Killing My Fantasy

I Smell Food ^.^ [27 Nov 2003|07:47am] [ mood | flirty ] Hello Hello. Happy Thanksgiving. I suppose I should write an entry of all that I'm thankful for... but I'm just thankful that I'm alive and happy and sorta healthy ^.^ And I live a great life. And I'm not a complete moron or pathalogical liar or just plain annouying as Hell. Yesterday I went to skool, barely anyone went, or did work. I didn't go to second period, instead I went to Xenia and Randy's class. I read some of Randy's poetry and talked w/ Ryan, talking about if we were anime and how I should talk in third person like some of the anime girls do, lol. At lunch I hung out w/ Frank, Rocky, David, Mike, and Ryan. After skool I went to the doctor. My mom and I have no idea if the woman said I have bronchitis or not. But she said my throat is swollen and I have a sever cold. She perscribed some pill there, an inhaler, and a nebulizer. At first I was like "Nebulizer? I dunno what it is, but it sounds kool!" It's some machine that we put medicine in it and I put on a lil mask and I have to breathe in the medicine's mist. As a matter of fact, while I was writing most of this entry, I had it on, I have to use it 4 times a day. Coincidentally, my grandfather in Georgia just got on one. I feel bad that I slept when I got home yesterday since it was my mommy's b-day, but she understands. I woke up for singing Happy birthday ^.^ But I practically ignored everyone, Rocky kept going to talk to me but I was in my own world. My legs are all shaky from the meds >.< Oh well. And another kool thing!! David has practically every ethnic background I do, 'cept instead of being Italian he's Scottish and his second Indian thingy is most likely different from mine (since I dunno what mine's is), plus he's German. He's even French-Canadian, how insane, lol. Well, I'm gonna go do something. Melissa Killing My Fantasy

Die Another Day [25 Nov 2003|08:46pm] [ mood | relaxed ] [ music | Madonna - Die Another Day ] Today was kool. I wore green eyeliner, and ppl noticed me a lot more. I thought it was funny cause several people thought I looked different because my hair is actually blonde for once. It's been blonde for 2 months and they notice now? lol. I had an arguement w/ Osviel last night. It took him about half an hour to answer a question. Actually.. He didn't answer it, now that I think of it. But that's alright, I have a plan. Chris IMed Alan yesterday, and when Alan asked why he doesn't talk to me anymore, he said it's between me and him. To be honest, I don't kno what it is either! Oh well. Frank is really nice, but he gets bothered too easily about things. Like, he leaves TOO early for fear of being late, and girls are talking shit about me to him saying things like he deserves better and it makes him angry. He's got to learn not to be bothered by shit like that, getting angry by people like that is a waste of time. We're in high skool, it's all "He said, she said". Can't let it get to you. Tomarro is my mommy's b-day ^.^ Yay Mom! She's in a really good mood lately, and she's going to apply for a job for the first time since the chemotherapy. That'll be awesome for her, it'll help her a lot, give her something to do. Last thing, next week for Thursday, Friday, and Saturday we're going to another One Act festival for drama, same play. The only difference is now we're doing better, plus now I get to sit in the garbage can ^.^ It loox so funny. Well, I'm gonna go now. Melissa Take the What's Your Song? quiz and visit Castle Diqueria. Killing My Fantasy

[19 Nov 2003|04:30pm] [ mood | irritable ] [ music | STP ] Things are good. I'm really happy ^.^ I dunno why. I feel like a burden has been lifted off my chest. I've been talking to a lot more people. After skool today I talked to Miguel and met his gf and thier friend (I'd put their names but I dunno how to spell them). It's as if people weren't allowed to talk to me before, it's hard to explain. I've been hanging out with Max a lot more. I wish I had contacts, or new glasses, that way whenever I'm in the hallways I have to squint to see if I know anyone. Despite all the good in my life lately, my patience is losing. I'm getting angry really easily with certain people. Oz wonders why I'm angry at him, I have a lot of reasons, but I'm trying to push that anger aside. I hate being mad more than anything, except those undescribable emotions (the ones that hurt) cause I dunno how to make those better. On another note, there's something I want to tell someone, but it could start a lot of shit, and I don't want that. But I want to tell someone the truth about things. Now for today's events ^.^ The morning was kool cause Michael was playing "Freckles", lol. Plus I was hanging out w/ Randy, I don't see him that much cause of his gf. Second period was boring. Max left home early. Fourth period was fun cause it's drama, and I love that atmosphere (and I have a lot of friends in that class). At lunch was drama club. Sixth period I hang out with Steve YAY lol. After skool I walked to my house w/ Alex and went back. I met Miguel's gf and her friend. I walked with them to her house. Then I went to the skool and walked home. I saw Lani and Laz on the way, Lani was making Laz pretty =X lol. I walked them to Lani's house and now I'm home ^.^ Melissa Killing My Fantasy

Kill Yourself [18 Nov 2003|02:30am] [ mood | enraged ] [ music | Godsmack - Whatever ] Fuck you. You figure you don't want to hurt people, so you lie, and make it even worse, and you figure it's okay? Fuck you! You take someone from their state of acceptance and bring them to another just to throw them down? Fuck you! You say you can be trusted, and even that was a lie? Fuck you! Someone tells you to keep a secret, and the first thing you do is tell someone they barely kno? FUCK YOU!! You're a piece of shit, a stupid fuck, no one likes you for a reason. Even your friends can't stand you! When you're mentioned, people say "You mean that dumbass?" or "That fat fuck?" Something as simple as keeping a friendship is too much for your brain to handle! Everyone does you, cause you're the type of shit no one wants to be around. An annouyance, a bother. A complete idiot. Killing My Fantasy

Life Goes On and I Breath a Little Sigh For You [17 Nov 2003|04:41am] [ mood | relaxed ] [ music | Freckles - Samurai X theme ] I hope you guys like surveys. Cause I just did 4 of them. ( All the memories I have are beautiful in my mind ) Killing My Fantasy

Mirror Image [17 Nov 2003|01:28am] [ mood | content ] [ music | The new Ill Nino song ] Good afternoon! lol. I've been awake since 6... pm. And the caffiene is kicking in. Looks like it's gonna be another lonely night. Or I could write my script for drama class. Well, I've been on the phone w/ Oz, Alex, and Karina. Oz and Karina are thinking about going out, good for them. Let's just hope no more shit happens like what happened before. Oz and I are sisters now ^.^ lol. I need a new journal layout, but I have no idea what to use. Any suggestions? I was thinking either the bunny from the picturebook in Chobits, or something from Cowboy Bebop. Anyways, Oz just called (again) but this time for advice. I told him a bunch of shit, but not much got through to him, lol. He wanted me to talk for him. Bad idea, it'll look really bad considering the situation, and the wrong point would get across. I've noticed a lot of good things have been happening lately, despite the fact I just got out of a relationship and I'm still sick as Hell. More ppl have been talking to me, from the Drama trip and ppl that stopped talking to me from before. I don't kno how ppl can hold grudges about stupid things like rumors and such. There's only 1 real grudge I can hold, Manny. Sure, I hate my father, but I can't help but love him. Well, I need to clean my room now, au revior. Melissa PS Look at my horoscope o_o November 16 - Your patience is wearing thin. Inconsiderate people will soon feel the ripples of your explosion -- if you let it happen. Think about the mess that you'll make if your anger gets out of hand. 6 Killing My Fantasy

"Write my gay acceptance speech, first of all I'd like to..." [16 Nov 2003|12:25am] [ mood | indescribable ] [ music | MSI - Thank God ] Today was awesome. I went to Steve's house, and Andrew and Karla (Steve's gf) was there. We ordered pizza and watched the Lilo & Stitch cartoon. Then we picked up April and went to Chuck E Cheese ^.^ Patrick and Albert and some girl that I forgot her name was there. I mostly hung out w/ Andrew. Albert and Patrick were ripping off the ticket machines. We took a group picture, nobody was completely in it. Steve got 200 tickets from Skee Ball. I forgot if anything else happened. But anyways, I had a lot of fun. That's what I love about hanging out with Steve, I always have fun, and I never think about anything that bothers me. And he looks so happy with Karla!! I hope they stay together, I really like seeing Steve so happy. Well, nothing else to write. Melissa Killing My Fantasy

Listen to Your Fortune Cookies [15 Nov 2003|04:58am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Nine Inch Nails - The Perfect Drug ] Grr! I spent the past 3 hours playing some game and I clicked the wrong thing and now it's all gone... >.< So much exhausting clicking for nothing. Oh, well. I started to clean my room and gave up after cleaning off my desk. So now I have to figure out what to do with the crap on my bed. I'm so bored!! I'm listening to NIN. My all time fave song is "Perfect Drug". Whenever I fall in love, I'm gonna dedicate that song to that person. Speaking of love, lol, later today (since it's technically Saturday already) I'm going to hang out with Steve and Andrew. If it weren't for them, I dunno how I would get through anything, like when I was heart-broken over Jimmy. Of course there's Alan and Kliff, but there's times where I need someone in front of me to help me. It's good to know Alan is always a phone call away, but it's hard to talk to Kliff ever since he moved. I'm gonna finish cleaning now. Melissa 1 Killing My Fantasy

[12 Nov 2003|08:39pm] I'm sick. Again. Blah. I started off my day with a shaving accident, cutting some of my skin. I heard a weird deflating sund in my head when I was going to 1st period. For lunch I went to Drama club. After skool I talked to Danyel, Max, and Michael, and went to the Black Box and talked to Laz, Shawn, and Nick for a bit. I went home and slept. I had a dream that everyone I had known, whether I cared about them or not, had resolved thier problems with me. I probably had this dream cause today I talked to Emily and Miguel. Melissa Killing My Fantasy

'Tis but a peevish boy; yet he talks well [11 Nov 2003|11:20pm] [ mood | indifferent ] [ music | Cold - Same Drug ] Still feeling a bit out of place from the trip. Not out of place, but... blah, you kno what I mean. But I felt so right when I was gone. The people were sweet and understanding, the traveling was fun, watching the plays was an experience, and being on stage - there was no greater feeling than that. The people reacting to you, the energy you get, knowing that all eyes are on you, everything! It's amazing! When you're onstage, you don't forget your lines or your ques, it all comes natural, you're not yourself anymore. And to think everyone there was driven by the same thing, driven by theatre. I may not be good at acting, but I'll try my best if it means I could do this for the rest of my life. I felt like I belonged somewhere for the first time in so long. Guess who's back? Yup, the fucker that made me lose 4 of my closest friends last February. Of course it was my fault, I knew I had to choose between him and my best friend. But in all honesty, I was scared. I remember when I broke up with him, he came over my house so I left, and when I came back at 11 he was still there! Kreepy. And he tried coming over my house 2 more times since then. Both times I left the house. I didn't hook up with Randy cause I was scared he'd try to hurt Randy, so I got back with him and covered it up, pretending to hate Randy and actually want to be with him. And when I had to choose between being with him or being Jen's friend, I should have got rid of him. But I feared that he would hurt me [or her or Steve] so I gave him what he wanted. I kno it was stupid of me, but everything happens for a reason, never regret. What if I did just dump him there? Would he have tried to kill me? Or Jen? Or Steve? He was stupid and capable of that. Or would he have done nothing but talked shit? Doesn't matter now, best not to think of "What if"s. I might have lost a lot, but never regret anything, everything happens for a reason. Shit with Emily/Josh is resolved. I'm too lazy for details. Au revior Melissa You are Form 1, Goddess: The Creator. "And The Goddess planted the acorn of life. She cried a single tear and shed a single drop of blood upon the earth where she buried it. From her blood and tear, the acorn grew into the world." Some examples of the Goddess Form are Gaia (Greek), Jehova (Christian), and Brahma (Indian). The Goddess is associated with the concept of creation, the number 1, and the element of earth. Her sign is the dawn sun. As a member of Form 1, you are a charismatic individual and people are drawn to you. Although sometimes you may seem emotionally distant, you are deeply in tune with other people's feelings and have tremendous empathy. Sometimes you have a tendency to neglect your own self. Goddesses are the best friends to have because they're always willing to help. Which Mythological Form Are You? brought to you by Quizilla 1 Killing My Fantasy

"Ecstasy! Swoon" [10 Nov 2003|01:04am] [ mood | creative ] [ music | Queens of the Stoneage "God in the Radio" ] I'm back! Yea, sux for you, I kno, I kno. I'm gonna write about my trip the simple way. In a timeline, lol. I went with Daphnie, Meghan, Lani, Geraldo, Tony, Nick, Leo, Shawn, Lori, Krystal, Ledia, Melissa, Mr. Graff, and I think that's it. I might have forgotten ppl. Wednesday: Went on the bus. It was pretty. Got to the hotel, I shared a room with Lani, Meghan, and Daphnie. Went to the FTC place, watched some good acts [Like "Schubert's Last Serenade" and "The Importance of Being Ernest"]. Went back to the hotel, ate, and slept. Thrusday: Got up early and went back to FTC. For lunch we went on a trolly to some pizza place. Saw some more good plays ["I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change"]. Went to a Chinese Restaruant. Got a major stomach ache when we went to rehearse. Went to sleep. Friday: Got up, went to FTC. Played pool with Tony, Shawn, and Leo. Went back. Watched plays. Performed!! Got a standing ovation *cry of joy* and went to the mall. Hung out with Gerry, Meghan, Daphnie, and ppl from another skool [Ophelia, Andrew, and I can't remember the other 2's names]. Went to the hotel and slept. Saturday: Went to FTC and a stage combat workshop. It was really kool. We went to stores to get Gerry and Leo and Lani clothes for the banquet. Went back, watched plays [Like "Thirteen"] and went back to the hotel to get ready for the banquet. Went to the banquet. Lani got best out of the cast. We thought Nick would get it. Instead, Nick got best actor. No offence to Lani, but I think that since Nick didn't get it because he got the other thing, I think Meghan should have got it. Everyone did really well, but Lani made the biggest mistake in the play [on the microphone backstage]. I really like how Meghan plays the part. Otherwise, I think Lani deserves it. Cause she played her part just as well. Everyone played their parts well, but Meghan and Lani fit the parts best. I'm rambling. After the banquet, we went back to the hotel. I talked to Mr. Graff because I felt out of place, and he noticed I wasn't exactly as joyful as usual. It was nice to have someone to talk to. After, I went to the boy's room [cause I was locked out of mine] and talked to Orestes and Shawn. Well, Shawn didn't talk much. Then Gerry came into the room and we talked to him about Andrew [they kissed, aww how kute]. Then I went back to my room and went to sleep. Sunday: Got up. Went on the bus. Got home. Slept. Called ppl. Found my script. And now I must memorize it. Good night!! Melissa Killing My Fantasy

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