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Cara

about the girl
days go by
the bonds
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[12 Feb 2003|07:01am]
[ music | ok go - "bye bye baby" ]

I was voted most humorous and most athletic for the sophomore girls. And runner up for best all-around. Go me.

Well, yesterday was fun. I missed school because of a religious holiday. Poor Blake had to go to school. hahahahaha I mean aw :-[

Anyways first we went over to Aunt Sarah's house and stayed there for a couple of hours. The adults were trying to plan what we were going to do. After what seemed like forever they decided the girls would go to the movies and the boys would go to the arcade. Since I generally don't know the girls that much I decided on going with the boys because Ali and Leigh were going with them too. I played hackey with my brother and Zizo and beat their asses bad although they will not admit it. I got eighty-one in a row beat that bitch.

Arcade. Let's see. Leigh dragged me around with her so I had to play all the boring games, although I did get to play the virtual boxing game. That was fun. Then we played laser tag. Big kids versus little kids. Ali and I went on the little kids team because face it they had no chance of winning. And guess what? We won! Haha oh and Adam said I was his favorite girl. Hee.

And yeah that concluded Tuesday. Monday I was out sick so when I came back to school today I had a lot of work to do. Interims came out today too which I did not like at all. I had a ton of make-up work in Biology and she counted it all as a zero until I make it up so my grade is now a C. My mom will kill me when I get home. Math I do not understand so I made the teacher explain it to me and hold up the rest of the class. And tommorow I have to go to a driving class my mom signed me up for because I accidently backed up into the trash can. Otherwise yeah my day was good what about yours?

You should all download this song, not that I encourage piracy or anything. I should upload another picture of me and make it into an icon just to humor Blake.

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[10 Feb 2003|05:05pm]
[ music | goo goo dolls - "iris" ]

Get your filthy hands away from my boyfriend.

P.S. Hi baby.

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[10 Feb 2003|12:33pm]
[ music | justincase - "constellation" ]

A poem I once read said that friends never change; they will be with you to the end. The seasons will cycle endlessly, and the flowers will fade and wither, but friendship never dies. The poem was uplifting, but it explained nothing close to the reality of life. Friends change as the wind. One moment, someone stands by your side as your best friend, and in only a matter of a few seconds, the weathervane turns and you realize they are gone. You cannot restrain the wind; friendship and the wind are elements that remain untethered and wild.

Some of my friends slipped through my hands as a bitter wind whips through long locks of hair. The last one to swirl away was recently. We were such close friends, and could share and converse about most anything. We trusted each other. Then, for seemingly no reason, cast me from his life and slashed our powerful friendship as though it was a frail bough under the burden of an oversized feline. It was messy and stressful, but I fought for him. I couldn’t hold on, couldn’t contain his furious gusts in my grasp. You can’t capture the wind, just the same as you cannot keep a sunray in a jar, or sleep with a pet snowball.

Of the people I have known, the most beautiful have been the people who are doing their best at living fully in each moment and accepting life as it comes. They are so consumed with enjoying the simple things in life that they aren't attempting to control the rest. It's funny, I realized we need to let go of life in order to begin living it. I have learned more from the experiences and epiphanies others share with me than I ever could from a book. Humans are capable of creating great beauty or grand destruction.

I rented A Time For Dancing. <3 Shiri Appleby and Larisa Oleynik.

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[10 Feb 2003|11:20am]
Each of us has a story, whether we know it or not. The lives we live are recorded inside our brain. We are the books. Nobody can tell us we are not allowed to read or gather information. Us and books. As you meet someone new you find another story. One you can never finish, the story is never over. Not one person is the same as the last. No two stories are alike.

I'm sick today. Out of all the days I was sick, I'm glad that I picked this one because I didn't do my chemisty project and it's due today. :Sorry I was too busy watching Charmed.

Carrie was on last night. mm Emilie De Ravin. I do not care what you say, I think it was good. Haters. Even though it had horrible special effects. There was a meaning behind both the movie and the book, but I just can't put my finger on it yet.

Tommorow I get to see Adam and Ali and the whole bunch. Which means I get to miss school again and a Chemistry test, heh. I am excited because I haven't seen any of them in three weeks and I have a tiny crush on Adam. What I did not tell you that. :-[

Can Good Charlotte and Avril die already?
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[01 Feb 2003|11:13am]
Where is Robbie when you need him this is not funny. >:o
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[23 Jan 2003|11:07am]
Jess is going to have my babies and we're naming the twins Cara and Cara II. :-*

I'm so unbelievably uncontrollably unsomething else that I stayed inside drinking hot tea all day. Amy and Liz weren't home when I called this morning, so I drew a picture of the two of them lounging in Hawaii and drinking colorful drinks because I was sure that they had abandoned me to do just that, but luckily Lizzie called later and pointed out Amy was probably still packing shit at her place and wasn't quite finished yet. I also realized Audrey's phone plays "Love Will Tear Us Apart" as its ring tone and now I love her even more than I did last month when we sat on my bed watching The Real World, eating popcorn and dissing on all those whack ass bitches.

Have you ever acted on impulse and said something in the heat of the moment but no sooner than the words had left your mouth you regretted every last one? Remember when you were a child and your mother told you to be careful of what you wish for and to choose your words wisely? The former doesn't apply so much as the latter but it's all relative. Once uttered, words are almost their own entity and cannot be retracted under any circumstance. You can apologize but the slate will never be wiped clean and it will always linger somewhere in the back of their mind.

Growing up I was taught to forgive and forget. It would seem the best way to get past it, if you believe in that, I guess. I'm all for forgiveness and second chances but to forget something as small or tremendous so easily without question? You might as well have a neon flashing sign above your head that reads "I am naive, please walk all over me."

After reading and rereading this I'm even more irritated than I was before and think maybe I should have stood by my original "fuck you." It said more in itself than I ever could, even in a somewhat harsh and uncalled for manner. It could be what I was going for.
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[12 Jan 2003|03:15am]
I feel like I'm in store for one of those lectures where you know your feelings are in the right, and they're wrong, yet you can't see to find the words to back your point up, so they laugh and think about how right they are and all you want to do is yell, "Look, would you just get the fuck out of my face?" but all you can do is sit there and say, "Okay, that's right, you got me there" in the most sarcastic manner you can physically produce with your mouth and vocal chords. But no matter how you slice it, I am wrong and they're right, and things were said in the heat of the moment that I'll never be able to take back no matter how desperately I'd like to. I'm too stubborn to apologize but not stupid enough to not realize it wasn't right. And for that, and only that, I'm sorry - take it or leave it, it's up to you.

Last night I called Liz because I wanted a goodnight kiss over the phone before I went to bed and after she gave me one I go, "Okay, now give it to Amy" because I wanted lovin' from her too. They're my favorites. Happy Birthday, by the way, Amy. I'll be home tomorrow night and then you're all mine, and maybe Liz's if I feel like sharing, for the entire weekend.
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