Kids say the... most typical things.   
08:35pm 12/10/2003
 
mood: amused
music: Kara saying "Yo yo yo what's in the hippy house OOH OOH"
Thoughts from Kara, age 8:

my cat is a very nice cat and she is sometimes very very mean to me
and my family is very retarded and i have this cousin... she's a big poopyhead, and my brother matt is a poopyhead too. and i don't really like him cause he's always mean to me... and my mom and dad are cool, and my other brother is really really annoying because all he does is sit on the computer and i just wish that my family was a little... and my sister, she is just out of this house

(To be continued)
-s
 
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Je suis indie.   
07:39pm 12/10/2003
 
mood: accomplished
music: 'The Proud Family' theme stuck in my head. Please shoot me.
So this is my second journal... the totally edited, positive shit version. Yeah, the real version, the blog that includes all of painful traumatic terrible SHIT is somewhere else, but since I don't want that stuff exposed, I made this blog to tell about the simple, happy occurrences. Basically, I went through all of the other blog's entries and transferred 'em over here.

Looking back through the entries, I learned a thing or two...

Things I was right
-Mrs. VK is crazy
-Mrs. Brown is cool

Things I was wrong
-Matt is a creepy freak who should stay AWAY
-Mrs. Kenner is NOT "Mrs. Kenner", and she is NOT nice, she is a total fucking bitch.
-I don't hang out with Christel anymore

And that bes it.

Wow. Looking at the entries, I realize that I smoke an ungodly amount of marijuana. Well it certainly calms my frazzled nerves... I don't forget my worries, but I remember that there's hope. And it makes my back feel oh-so-not-sore anymore!

Whoa... I just swiveled to the side and my back cracked all pop-like.

I need to get a good night's sleep tonight for no stress in the AM. Ugh, report cards are soon... well, I'll have an A in English II H, a B+ in Biology (blodge) H, a B in Geometry H, and an A+ in French, I figure. That'll give me a GPA of... 4.375! Woo hoo!

I'm pissed at my blodge grade, though. It was because I forgot a HW or two. It's sad, because I get all 100s on the tests... I should have a better grade... ahhh whatever.

Je te plumerai!

-s
 
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My Good Pipe Dream   
02:20pm 12/10/2003
 
mood: high
music: Musical Youth - "Pass the Dutchie"
Ahaaa.... so I sat around most of the day,
but around 4-ish
I hopped on ze bike and took a little trip down to 'the spot'...

...on the way, I went to the Army Navy store and got me a lock yessir I did get me a
lime
green
silver
clean
combination lock. $2.99...

then I hopped back on and took myself to 'the spot'
the spot of thought, the spot of pot
It was not the place i'd sought.

All the trees were cut down...
The trees that were such a good canopy to us during those 9th grade days long ago.
Plus the hobo couch that Bobby'd brought
was clear and gone from mentioned spot.

But I went in my bag. and grabbed my pipe... took out the little case and packed me bowl of green supreme.

Ssxxk goes the lighter and there it's lit...
pipe to lips, I took a hit.
Then another, and another,
each one bringing me to hover.

Get on bike and chase the wind as it chased you when biking in...

I came home from trip supreme, and I'll call this:

My Good Pipe Dream

-s
 
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blah.   
01:24pm 12/10/2003
 
mood: blah
music: Alouette, gentille alouette, alouette, je te plumerai!
Blaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.

AV called off the BBQ... I feel very blah today... I think today shall be a blah day of sitting around, blah-ing.....

-s
 
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My grandma rocks like Led Zeppelin   
02:27pm 11/10/2003
 
mood: lonely
music: Radiohead - "Exit Music (for a film)"
So. Another update on my life....

....more school and school and school. It was homecoming week, so I joined in. On Twin Day, Jackie and I dressed alike in our old #6190 Lucy shirts, and on Hawaiian Day, I looked beachy keen. :) On Pep Rally day, I'd worn a red (our class' color) tank under my zip-up black hoodie, but by the time of the actual pep rally, I'd sat in the Seniors section of the bleachers with my hoodie zipped all the way up so no one could tell I wasn't one. Tee hee.

Theeennnn.....
As I said before, last Friday I slept over AVs. That was pretty cool. That evening, we watched some very heartrending videos that had recently resurfaced... one with clips from when I was about 2 weeks old, the other, 2 years old. There wasn't much interesting stuff or great dialogue (Grandma isn't the world's greatest filmmaker), but there were bits and pieces that tore me to well.... bits and pieces!

I saw my mom and dad.

That really hit me. Hard. Mom wasn't really in the film that much... all I saw of her was her holding me in my old room (with the rainbow designs on the walls! and the rocking chair!! and the stuffed animals I STILL HAVE!) when I was about 2 wks., feeding me and saying "I've got to go change her diaper now!". :) But there was a lot of my dad... in one scene, he was holding 2-wk-me and saying something along the lines of, "This is S... and she's going to be drop-dead gorgeous and very smart... in fact, so smart, she'll grow up to become a congresswoman! Or better yet, President of the United States!" My grandma nodded and agreed. He was smiling so wide... he was so proud of me. Tears rolled down my face as I watched. I can't say that they were tears of sadness... no, they were of joy. Joy of knowing that my dad loved me very much. Thank you, dad. I love you.

Oh, and of course the scenes where I was running around, 2 years old, banging on my grandpa's organ. A preview of a musical love to come :)

Yeah, Friday night was good. Then, Saturday morning, we woke up bright and early to have... the yard sale! I ended up 6 dollars richer, AV, about $50, M, $15. Yay. AV was really thankful that I helped her out of much... that was good. Veddy good.

Also, M and two of her friends were discussing plans to backpack through Europe (the trip being centered around Amsterdam, of course), for a month in summer 2004. And they told me I could come!!! YES!!!!!! If I raised the money, of course. WELL OF COURSE I'D COME!! IT'S EUROPE! JE PARLER FRANCAIS!! :D

----------------
(I was typing this on Saturday, got kicked off, then started to re-type Sunday morning)
----------------

Okay okay... where was I... alright. Saturday. As soon as I got back from AVs, I called Christina and went to sleep over there. We had a great night of watching movies (I finally saw Girl, Interrupted -- very great movie) and being silly. :) It was great, because it was another night I didn't have to be at "home". Sunday night, I came home...

Monday was very shitty. VERY SHITTY INFUCKINGDEED.

Wednesday -- coolness! Mrs. VK, my English teacher, thought that the class wasn't challenging enough for me, and that I'd be bored and left behind in it. Soooo, she made an arrangement with the guidance counselor and the other teacher that I would be taking JOURNALISM! Woo hoo! What's cool about it is, I still have English II H has my official class, according to the roster, 1st hour. But I don't even have to go to that class -- I just have to show up for the first 5 secs. for attendance, then hop skip and jump down the hall to Journalism! So I'm getting both credits at once, AND writing for the school paper! :D I love the journalism class so far, the teacher is so very cool, and everyone in it is highly intelligent with great opinions on everything. We've had some in-depth conversations! I love it I love it I love it..... now I'm just like M, because she writes for her school's (college) paper too... so we were thinking of interviewing each other for kicks. It's so cool. :)

Thursday - I am so broken and hurt. SHITTACULAR DAY.

...........

Yeah, Friday was school as usual. Joe N. was smoking reefer out of a teeny glass tube at lunch, in a way so that no one could smell it. His lighter died, so he asked for mine (he'd take it for the weekend then give me another one on Monday), and I said "Sure, but you owe me a hit!". I took one hit of the greatest ganja I'd ever inhaled in my life. One puff on that, and I was BLITZED for the rest of the school day. It was really fun :D (Thursday, Trag had given me two special brownies her friend had baked, but she couldn't eat them because of her upcoming surgery, so she gave them to me.But they turned out to be duds. :( This made up for it!)

Yeah, and yesterday was another Saturday, the 11th. The entire day, I slept and played guitar, until we all went to grandma's at 5:00 for a huge family get-together. It was fun... I got to see everyone... they got to see me with my contacts... I got compliments on my looks... compliments galore!! :). It made me feel all nice and special. We all sang Happy Birthday to grandma, I played Scattegories with everyone.... our family rocks so muchly. :)

Today, I'll be going to AVs to BBQ.

-s

P.S. Oh yeah! This is hilarious! Yesterday, the cousins M (13), his friend Kevin, and K (8, of course) were talking, and K said something outlandish... M responded "What are YOU smoking?" and she said "I dun smoke ANYTHING! Drugs are bad! I know what you smoke though! It's the word that begins with a M... I can't ruhmember it..." Kevin chimed, "Marijuana?". K: "That's it! MARAWANNA! You smoke marijuana! You smoke marijuana!". Then she ran out of that room and started pointing at me saying "You smoke marijuana! You smoke marijuana!" I cracked up, because it's true. But she doesn't know... she doesn't even know what it MEANS! Luckily, M got her to stop by saying "K, don't say that! You'll get in huge trouble!"

But it was still sooooo funny :)
 
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BIG ME ED!   
03:42pm 28/09/2003
 
mood: amused
music: The Pixies - "Ed is Dead"
So, Saturday, it was Kristen, Christina, and I, and the motherload of brownies we'd baked. And the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen bootleg her cousin gave her. Good times until I called home around 6:30 to check in, UM said he "wouldn't be able to drive" But her mom drove me anyway, and that was good. Her mom is cool. :)

Anyway, back to why I'm not as depressed now, and slightly happier anyway.

1) The AV thing gave me something to be hopeful for, and to look forward to... she would like me to sleep over on Friday and do the yard sale on Saturday!! Yay!!

2) THE PIXIES ARE BACK TOGETHER!!!!! THE PIXIES!!!!! MY FAVORITE BAND HAS REUNITED!!!!!!! YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3) On Friday, I went bowling with Joe, Josh, Ashley (his gf) and Edwin. Oh Edwin! I LOVE YOU! DON'T LEAVE US FOR COLLEGE! :( He's my bestest dude friend... if he wasn't gay, I'd make love to him. And he's leaving. Oh Edwin I'm going to miss you so much. We had the best times together. :( Heeeheee... on our lane, Joe called himself 'Big Balls', I was 'Merde', and Edwin was 'Ed a Win' ...it showed up as BIG ME ED. We all started chanting "BIG ME ED! BIG ME ED!" and saying "With our powers combined, we are... BIG ME ED!". It was soooo much fun indeed :)

---------

That's about it. I think I may go cook Ramen noodles or something.

-s
 
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There's a shirt at JCPenney's that says 'blame my parents'... i oughta get it   
03:06pm 28/09/2003
 
mood: gloomy
music: Cheap Trick - "Surrender"
so many times i've gotten used to this
this old idea of being all alone
tell me how i'm supposed to get through with this
i wish this house felt like a home.

i'm so sick of being abandoned.
but it's only because i am a fuck-up.
and everything's all my fault.

what peaceful times i once enjoyed
how sweet their mem'ry still
but they have left an aching void
the world can never fill

something good just happened..
i'll write it in the next entry... to demonstrate the beauty of teenage mood swings.

SCHWING!

-s
 
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I'm not even supposed to be here today!   
04:33pm 23/09/2003
 
mood: bored
music: Jimi Hendrix - "Fire"
According to Quizdiva.com:

There is MOST DEFINITELY a boyfriend in your future.

Never one to miss a chance to meet a guy, you're always "on" and it pays off.
At the grocery store, the video store, wherever…you're constantly on the
lookout for the next victim.

Not that you treat men like shit. Far from it! It's just that you love 'em so
much, it's hard to limit yourself to just one.

Like M&M's, except your men usually melt in your mouth. AND your hands. Mmmm!

Is There A Boyfriend In Your Future?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva


Woo.

So, my week's been pretty usual, I suppose. Saturday fookin rooked when we all went to Broward Mall and I got 2 shirts, 4 badly-needed bras, a new bag (my old one was getting so ratty, plus, the new black one will match EVERYTHING), a 9-pack of earrings (huzzah for Claire's, haha.), and Cinnabon lip balm. The shirts, bras, and bag were from JCPenney's because -- bam, sucka -- AA had about 50 different certificates AND her employee discount. So Mt, K, and I went all out... tres bien. Then I went online and typed the uber-entry but forgot to mention this stuff, ha.

Sunday, as usual, I went to AV's. Only this time, K came too. It was the usual BBQ... yupyupYUP

And Monday was the usual schoolness, as was today... ya-ay.

-s
 
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Bitch, get me a sandwich.   
11:27pm 20/09/2003
 
mood: tired
music: White Stripes - "Ball and Biscuit"
Yeah... continuing on my uber-entry.... so Friday I hung out w/them and we smoked in Dave's shed... then we went back to Jackie's and stayed there a while... then I went home. Yeah. Oddly enough, Jackie has a loft bed, the same exact carpet, the same guitar stand, the same computer, the same hair gel, the same beads on the door (although i'd thrown my own a long time ago), and even the same towel on the floor. Very very VERY scary, but cool. Yay!

Oh yeah, I forgot to write this.... earlier that day, I was in killer Kenner's class writing a note to Chanel and I'd put something about Kenner being a bitch and I even drew a picture of her whacking me with a large stick. No really, the caption even said her (whacking me with large stick) ---> . So then Kenner walked up to me (why must I sit in the front?!), tore the note from my binder, then set it on her desk. It was a test day so I was already freakin' out , but this made it worse. She held off on reading it until we all started the test.. then when she did read it, I saw this look of extreme dismay wash over her face. It was quite depressing, and I felt ashamed. Nothing happened until Monday, when she pulled me over at the end of class to speak to me ("I don't bite!") and mentioned how she'd called home that morning. Luckily, over the weekend, I'd told about it, and it was explained to her how I was just really upset that I'd felt like the class moron. So it actually was all straightened out. Whew...

Saturday night I went with Dave, Jackie, and Derek to the drive-in. We saw Dickie Roberts. I really don't remember very much since we'd fogged out the car. All I can say is, the movie was "nucking futs".

Sunday.. ah Sunday, 9/7. I'd spent the day with AV and M and G-unit (AV's bf... I added the 'unit') BBQing (wow, I use a lot of acronyms).

9/8. Monday. Sucked.

9/9... odd day indeedy doo. In the morning, I dyed my hair purple for the day. I look fucking cool with purple hair :). Then I missed the bus because the fucking bus bitch drove off without me (when I was RIGHT THERE and I KNOW she saw me... oh no but she waited for two BLACK girls the other day, but not little white me. Fucking reverse racism, I tell you... it happens to me all the time down here. Can't we all just get along?) So I called M to take me to school. You know, I really don't give her much credit. She really is a great person. We talked, and it was a good bonding time. Aww :). Then I went to school... then after school, I came home, ate some ramen noodles, then hopped the 62 bus to the mall. I was to see Dr. Lukens at 5:30, so I needed to take the 62 to the mall, then hop on the 2. Brian, Mr. Oh-So-Sexy-Why-Are-You-Gay-PLEASE-Turn-Straight-For-Meeee?, Brian, was on the bus. Of course, then, I didn't know him (though I'd seen him at school), but we got to talking and we spent 10 minutes getting a soda and free samples inside the mall. New friendship with cool dude! Yay! Anyway, I'd thought the bus wouldn't come until the 10 minutes were up. I got back and I thought "OMG, the 2 isn't here... I MISSED IT!", so I called M so I could get to my appointment. While I was waiting, a guy named Drew (AKA "Pleasure"... it was tattooed on his forearm) started to talk to me because of my hair and he asked me for my "It's my pleasure" pin. I gave it to him, and felt all nice for doing a nice thing. Then M came, she took me, and we bonded once again even though by then she wanted to kill me for calling her again. :/ I felt really bad. So I went... and the appointment went very well... then I took the 2 back to the mall to hop the 62. But by the time I got back, the buses were done with service for the night. I didn't want to call M again, and I didn't have my phone book on me to call one of my friends w/a car, so I called Grandma. And that, mes petits amis, was the bus fiasco of 9/9.

Wednesday, 9/10... - .........

Thursday, 9/11.

{moment of silence for those who suffered in the 9/11 tragedies. you know, the whole day was so swept up and overblown with the politics of it all, that a lot of people seemed to forget the actual people who suffered. to hell with the politics of it all... just try to forget that for at least one second and take some time to shed a tear for the people and families. :( )

Wooooo, drama auditions. Katrina, Matt, Christel and I all hung out waiting for our auditions. Actually, that was the first day I'd met Christel -- I'd seen her around school, but we'd actually talked that day. She turned out to be quite cool indeed. I'd always thought of her as looking down on me for not being punk or goth enough or whatever (look, i'm INDIE, m'kay? ha.) because she dresses super goth in a dominatrix kind of way, but it turns out she was just scared to talk to ME. More on that later. We just goofed off and stuff the entire time, then auditioned. I'd originally wanted to try for Peppermint Patty in 'You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown', since she had the only fair-sized girl part that didn't sing, but I was called back for Snoopy. Woopty woop!

Thursday night, Christel came over and we practiced songs. She sang Sally's, and I sang Snoopy's. Yaaay.

Friday... after school, I went to the mall with Christel and Katrina. Katrina's a little freckle faced 'skater'... she's adorable, but kinda irked me when she started singing along with Green Day at Spencer's. I mean, I know the song too. They're my guilty pleasure, I suppose. But.... DUDE. Don't sing along with the radio in stores! It's wrong! Plus when she was loud at Hot Topic, the clerks there looked as if they wanted to impale her. Oh well. Ooh, I got a patch from one of the seasonal kiosks with the cool 60-year-old-still-punk-still-purple-hair lady... the patch says "I love my Florida tan". HAHA. I sure do love MY Florida tan! My NON-EXISTENT one. I'm putting the patch on a shirt. I'm so hardcore, it hurts. Plus, I ran into Drew AKA Pleasure (remember?) and he gave me something in return for that pin -- a cool ring that is huge and claw-like.. it is literally "the claw". I have so much fun clawing shit with it! Then we went home and me and Christel went to the park and smoked. Yaay.

Saturday -- Chilled. Went to park with the fam at around 6, hopped fence to abandoned bocci ball court. (If you don't know what bocci ball is, well THAT'S why it was abandoned.) Poked around, hopped back.... ripped jeans. :/. Ran into Christel and her sister Julie, went back to my house, ate dinner, went to park, smoked, went to their house, watched first 30 minutes of Panic Room. Oh gawd... being at the park and smoking was so fun, because first we were sitting at the usual spot, and it started to rain. Then, we ran under the picnic table pavilion, and it was coming down HARD. Because of their hoodies, we thought it was muchly like the "Cry Me a River" video, and started imitating him. It was soo fun... running frantically to get under in the rain, dancing under the pavilion... :D

Sunday -- AVs, BBQ, ye-e-eah dawg. I had a migraine at the end of the night, but I took some medicine. Made me feel goood.

Monday -- Sung Snoopy - "Suppertime" for the drama teacher. I think she may'velikeditidunno.... *trails off and stares at shoes*

Tuesday -- Woke up very migrainical and terribly depressed as hell. AHHH the pain the fucking stabbing pain!!! Took a migraine pill..... Ahhh. But then NO AHH. Because on Monday, Chanel wrote me a note telling me that she was planning on committing suicide... which I responded quite angrily to, since I've had enough family members do it to know about the subject. But then she wasn't at school, so I freaked out. Loopy Lori said she wasn't on the bus, and when I'd called her dad, he said she'd left for school already. AHHH SHE WAS MIA!! I ran to Guidance and told one of the ladies there... luckily 10 min later they tracked her down... at HOME. She was actually just home sick with a cold. But man, was I freaked out... because I love Chanel and could never let anything bad ever happen to her. Thank God she's okay.

Wednesday -- ....school pictures. I probably looked mediocre as usual. Then, I went to Christina's house and spent about 3 hrs with her... I hadn't seen her in a while, so it was good to hang out with her. We watched Grease and discussed relationships over the "Gurl" book and ice cream. She even painted my toenails. I love days like that :)

Thursday -- I played sick (I did actually wake up feeling shitty but I exaggerated it to stay home) so I could catch up on everything that needed to be done, school-wise. It was actually a very good decision. Go me.

Friday -- Me and Christel went to the mall. Some store we walked by across from the mall invited us in for a jewelry party and we stayed for 5 minutes for free food and wine. (pleuh. Drinking still sucks. I hate alcohol.) Tee hee... all the old ladies stared at us.... it was so much fun. That was about it. Oh yeah, and then we went to the park and yeah.

That's my life, folks.
That's my life.

-s
 
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Tah rah rah BOOM dee-ay   
05:14pm 16/09/2003
 
mood: blah
music: Beatles - "That Thing You Do"
So, A N Y W A Y, I went to Jackie's house. From there, the two of us got a ride to her boyfriend Dave's house. There, I was supposed to be 'hooked up with' this guy, Derek, who'd been supposedly obsessing over me from what he'd heard. Mmkay...? So by around 4, the four of us, Jackie, Dave, Derek, and I, were sitting inside Dave's shed, smoking.

David and Derek were cool, albeit slightly stereotypical. Dave was your typical skinny white guy in a skintight white tank with gigantic jeans, a blond head shaved on the sides with the rest from the top tied into a ponytail, a little mustache and the Kottonmouth Kings and Insane Clown Posse on 24/7. Alright, so I'll say it -- my impression of him was slightly white-trash-ular. Wow, I feel judgemental and mean :/. Derek was pretty much the same, only Spanish. He's tres petite -- pretty much my height. And since I'm 5'2", that's not saying much. But he was kinda cute... with his thick curly hair and huge puppy eyes.

Ooh, I gotta go right now, so I'll continue later.....

-s
 
     Post
 
Fo squeezy!   
03:56pm 04/09/2003
 
mood: giggly
music: White Stripes - "Black Math"
Preparing for SATs. Wooty-woot. Archipelago is a chain of islands. Vocabulary is fun. Exterior angles of any polygon add up to 360. Math is fun. SAT for Dummies, study-study. Soon soon I'll take-a the practice test and see-de-see if it'll be easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Missed bus this morning, K feeling like crappy-apples, I was takin care of her that's why I miss-ayed the bizz-uss. Yup yup. Biked to NLAHS, said howdy ho to drama chumby-ums. Was early-spurly, 1st hour. Saw Moonie poonie, and Adel-doobie, then bikeyed back.

If I takey-ake the SAT early-spurly, then I can do College Academy next year at the community-spoonity schooly-wool and finish high school aaaaaayyyynd college at the same-ety time! Yippie yay my diplomer AN mah associates degree at the same time! And it's freeeee if I koo-ah-la-fy, like Kristen did and she's there now and wooty woot if she can do it, I can too!

I know I can make it.
Laverne and Shirley style, yo.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy!

-s
 
     Post
 
I'm down with OPP!   
04:20pm 02/09/2003
 
mood: anxious
music: The Clash - "Rock the Casbah"
Ah! Je reentre en le cour du francais... et c'est magnifique etre ici! Je perdue beaucoup du mots, mais je ne suis pas merde a la langue. Je suis bon :)

Okay, so I'm back in French class. The whole World History debacle ended up in me going to French last hour... yay! Because I love French. Yeah.

Labor Day was cool too! First, I'd went to Kristen's, we'd watched old Monty Python episodes while holding her cuddly lil bunnies in our laps. Then, I went to AVs -- barbequing and such. That was cool too. :) It was the usual BBQ-@-AVs....

Yo ho ho and a bottle of nihilism!

-s
 
     Post
 
Stuff like that should be kept in the closet, goddammit!   
09:56pm 31/08/2003
 
mood: embarrassed
music: Hot Hot Heat - "No, Not Now"
Labor Day is tomorrow! Huzzah! I'm going to AV's tomorrow to barbeque... wooooo, labor day! Ooh, last night at AV's I watched a movie called "The Life of David Gale". It was pretty good -- it ended with a mind-blowing twist, as every good suspense film should. Oh my god.... hahaha, the Man Show is on, and they're showing all of these different implants for women... they had ones where the boobs were see-through ziplocy type and had goldfish swimming around... jiffy-pop boobs that would heat up and popcorn would come out.... and bong boobs, haha. It was pretty funny.

EEeeeep.... i'm in the room now still watching it and AA and UM are here, and then this commercial for these male-enlargement (yeah.) pills came on and then AA got all gung-ho and called the number and made me go to the website... I'm so disturbed, it's unreal. Euch. LOOK. I DO NOT LIKE PICTURING MY OVER-40 RELATIVES HAVING SEX OR HAVING ANYTHING TO DO WITH SEX.

Relatives and sex DO NOT MIX.

(I know I'm from the South, but STILL.)

Oh sick oh sick oh sick..... why did you call the male-enlargement company on SPEAKERPHONE of all things?! Ahhhrgh. :/

My brain has just gone flaccid.

-s
 
     Post
 
The word of the day, kids, is "Bam, sucka!". Say it with me now!   
10:48pm 29/08/2003
 
mood: mellow
music: Pixies - "Dead"
Bang!

Yesterday was cool. That kid Matt that I'd mentioned before asked me out, but I turned him down. I told him I couldn't handle it right now, that there was too much stuff going on right now. He claimed to understand but he still keeps trying to fucking tickle me every five seconds and I'm fucking sick of him stalking me. It was nice the first day, now it's just annoying. Then I got home, and I went out with Karie, Kevin, and Bobby (a different Bobby... not fat asshole Bobby W., but a cooler one). We smoked as usual, then went to Zuccarelli's. We'd just happened to come during Moonie's break, and he was eating at the employee table. He saw my contacts and said "Heeyyyy!" and I replied "Heeeyyyy!" and it was "Heeeyyyy!" back and forth like a budweiser ad. Pretty cool. :) Moonie gave us two free slices of pizza (bad idea -- he got in trouble), and he and Dave (other dude I know, but we're not really friends.) served us. I ordered an iced tea while I ate my free slice, and the others ordered a slice each and some Coke. There was this placemat that said "Find the 36 mistakes".... and it had all of these bright, colorful pictures with mistakes in them. Like this really creepy lady with no face.... or the kid riding a motorcycle with square wheels. Since we were all quite stoned, it was really amusing... ;) It was so colorful and so frickin... FUNNY! I got an extra copy and saved it for the memory. So then we got the check, and OOPS... it was NOT what we'd expected. I poured out all the change from my wallet, as did everyone else (I had to save the $5 bill, the only other money I had, for tonight), and everyone pooled our cash. But since Moonie was in trouble for giving us the two extra slices, they'd tacked on an extra $4... eventually Dave just lent us $6. Yeah.

But it was sooo fun... :)

School was good. They finally are going to switch me to American History -- yes! Actually they wanted me to switch English from 1st (very cool period, I've got Jackie and some other people... good group) to 4th hour (that group kinda sucks.) to do it. But I'd rather not switch, and Mrs. VK and Mrs. O'Neal were actually the ones who considered that first off, so I may take one of my electives 4th hour this semester and do American History next semester. Cool, cool, whatever they decide. After school, the bus didn't come for 20 minutes, so I sat out in the heat. Luckily, there was another girl with hair the same color as mine (I'd gone red for today, she had red streaks in the front. We looked different though... my hair looks dark crimson and hers was light blonde-brown with brighter red.) and we struck up a conversation. Her name was Katrina, and she had a band that was -- looking for a guitarist! Yes!!! GUITARGUITARGUITAR!!! I play guitar!! I need to be in a band! Now, she listens to Linkin Park and some other shitty bands like that, but I need to be in a band anyway, for the experience. So I can learn what it's like to play in a band, for future reference. However, she's heard of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and stuff, so maybe it'll be very very cool.

Then today, I took a nap, then at 7, I met up with Edwin at the library and we walked to Yip's Chinese food. We both got soup (his, wonton) (mine, mixed egg drop and wonton) and talked. We talked about what I'd written about in the previous entry (he's gay and one of my most trustable, lovable, greatest friends so I was able to tell him), looked at playbills he'd got off eBay for various broadway shows, and sang "Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me!" from Monsters, Inc. It was fun :) I love Edwin... I'm gonna miss him soooooo much when he goes off to college. :(

And that's aboot it.

-s
 
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It's like cottonmouth... in your eyes!   
03:51pm 25/08/2003
 
mood: ecstatic
music: Pixies - "Oh My Golly!"
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!

I woke up at 5:20, (the bus came at 6:40... and I'm slow) and hurried hurried hurried to get ready. I was overwhelmed by first-day jitters, and I prayed that I didn't look stupid. I went to the bus stop (I really need a permit) and boarded!

When I first arrived, all I saw was people. Lots and lots of people... and the Nash Bros., which was pretty cool. They were both shocked to see me in contacts. Then... after fighting through a monstrous crowd, I checked the buletin board for my room number. Room 154.. okay. So then I walked inside the actual building, and stepped into my classroom. English II Honors. Woooo! The teacher, Mrs. Von Kleist was a prim little lady, though I suspect she's just a twinge crazy. She was very kind, and I spoke to her for a few minutes, then wandered the overpacked first floor for a bathroom, ran into Jessica, then returned to the classroom once the bell rang. Well wouldn't ya know -- Jackie's in my class! Now see, Jackie and Jessica dress very "punk"ly. They listen to crap like Slipknot. And actually enjoy it. But they're nice people... but at the same time, sometimes I feel like I don't fit in among them. They're metalheads, and I'm an indie rocker, I suppose. Perhaps our friendships shall bloom this year... who knows...

Anyway, going back to where I was before, that class was cool. Once the schedules were handed out, I looked down at mine and saw "English II Honors, Biology I Honors, Geometry Honors, World History Honors" ...YES! But where's the rest of my schedule... I signed up for 8 classes, didn't I? Ergh. Turns out here, the classes are 90 minutes long. 90 minutes! And this semester, I have those 4 classes... the next semester, I have all electives. I guess it's not that bad... this semester will be my "hittin the books, crackin' down" semester, then after winter break, I get to goof off. Yay!

One thing that bothers me though....
THERE'S NO LOCKERS!!!

Sure, there's lockers on the walls. All over! BUT NO ONE'S ALLOWED TO USE THEM!!! ARRRRGH! With all of these honors classes I'm in, I'm going to be lugging around books all day! I reeeeaaaally wish they had lockers... :(

Maybe I could go to the office and whine, "But my MOM got to have LOCKERS!"

(Yes. Ladies and gentlemen, my mother attended CCHS. She graduated exactly 30 years ago! It's so weird... every time I'm walking down a hall or in a bathroom or somewhere, I think, "Wow. 30 years ago, my mother could've been standing in the same place.")

Anyway, next was Biology I. I'm so grateful that Jackie showed me where the lab was, otherwise I'd have never known. The time between classes is 7 minutes... the campus is huge.... 2,500 people attend. For me, it was very weird. NLAHS, in comparison, was much smaller, had only 4 minutes hall-time (and lockers), and only 800 people attended. However, I don't care about the size, because CCHS is so much better for me. I'm recieving a much better education than I did at NLAHS. Anyway, the teacher was a mid-30s looking, business-suited black woman named Ms. Brown. She seemed nice, but very strict. I just got off the phone with M -- she'd had her too, but she doubts Brown would remember her. We did a mighty amount of work today for the first day! Notes, textbook reading, homework... aye, she means business. But that's cool. :)

In her class, I met a really cool friend. She was born in Pakistan, but grew up here so she had no accent, and I think her name was Tanya. Yes, I'm terrible with names. We ate lunch together after class and talked about the school and life, etc., then -- once again! I ran into the Nash Bros. and Karie! Karie blurted "Holy shit!" when she saw me, because A) she didn't know I was coming here, B) I had contacts. Heehee. Tanya left, and the three of us talked... I described how contacts feel (like cottonmouth in your eyes), and they led me to where 'everyone cool' sits in the cafeteria. I think I kinda remember where. That's good... because I actually know a lot of those people. Yay!

Then came 3rd hour, Mrs. Keller's class. Mrs. Keller is so funny... I think she'll become my favorite teacher. She teaches Geometry Honors, and she's definitely very crazycool. She gets so excited about math, and her huge blue eyes light up when she's describing it. I think she's so frickin cool that I can't possible nod off in her class!! Plus, she's got this bright red hair... very Ms. Frizzle-ish! (Magic School Bus....) And she' got tons of M.C. Escher posters... so we started talking after class about M.C. Escher, and we got along very well. She said she'd heard terrible stories about NLAHS, and I agreed, "I could tell you stories that would make you cry." I really could though, but I'll get to those in another entry. No one I know in that class, though...

Lastly, 4th hour. Mr. Henderson, and World History Honors. Large, blond, jolly mid-30ish guy with a good sense of humor. We all took a pre-test to see where we stood in the subject... he said that out of the 10 questions, no one had gotten more than 7, and he was praying we'd get at least 3. Not to brag or anything.... but I got all 10. They were just nouns and we had to write something explaining them -- Pax Romana, Winston Churchill, the Black Death, the Middle Passage... yeah. So after talking to him, we both decided that I'm going to go to American History Honors instead. Yay! (I already took World History last year, anyway.) M says the American History Honors guy is the funniest coolest teacher EVER. :D

So then I just got out of class... then went to the ladies' room... then tried to find the bus pick up place. AAAAHHHH. I got all lost, and was walking around the campus for about 10 minutes, thinking, "Oh NO, I'm going to miss it...". I eventually found the bus area, and after waiting another 20 minutes, the bus came and I went home. Yay.

And here I am.

Only 179 days left...!!

-s
 
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BBQ4Lyf, yo   
05:22pm 24/08/2003
 
mood: nervous
music: Pixies - "Debaser"
Two big things for tonight's entry:

1. I GOT CONTACTS I GOT CONTACTS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! :D

2. AAAAACCK/FINALLY!!!! SCHOOL IS TOMORROW!!!!! :O/:D

Yesterday, me and AV went to the eye place and I got the first pair of contacts. :D I wore contacts 3.5 years ago, so I know how to put them in... but whoa! It was weird. My vision was a lot sharper and... is that ME?! I looked like a completely different person without my glasses. Tis weird. When I look in the mirror, my first reaction for the past 48 hours (and probably for some more) was "Whoa! Who's that?! Oh yeah, that's me". Well not really... but you know what I mean. Plus, it's a reflex every time my glasses are slipping to push them up. So lately, I've been putting my hand up to push my glasses up... and I realize nothing's there! It's funny, actually.

Today, I went to AV's at one, and we BBQed. M was there (did I include in here that I had a talk with her Friday night at grandma's and now relations are good?) and so was Glenn. It was very cool... :) Very enjoyable day. I got to listen to the two greatest Pixies albums, Surfer Rosa and Doolittle, for the first time in about a month. (I'd lost my copies! Eep!) So it was nice to sit and eat good food and listen to good music, just feelin all nice. It was very very cool! :D <333

Saturday, my hair was already coloured red for the day (one day crazy colour... I love it.) and then M bought me purple, so I put purple streaks in. I put deely-boppers (the headband with the springy antenae) on, and a bunch of funny rings I came across, and some other stuff.... and next thing you know, I was Steffy Stardust. The magical being who comes to people on psychedelic drug trips :)

And tomorrow... SCHOOL! Okay, so I've only set foot into the building once. I have no idea where my classrooms are. I have no idea what my schedule is. I only know a few people there.... but it'll get me out of the house. I have so many mixed emotions, but the last reason mentioned is definitely the reason for the emotion "excited". But I'm very nervous. Very very nervous. Oh well... I think I'll do fine...

My nails are painted black, and I drew a pirate skull and crossbones with a milky pen on each thumb. Yarr harrr!

... O_O

Okay I'll tell you about tomorrow... tomorrow. I gotta go and do stuff.... AAAHHHHHHHHHAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHH OH HO HO HO HO UHA UHA UHA OOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

That's the sounds I'd like to be able to make whenever I think about school, but I can't, so I worte them in here. I hope you enjoyed.

I'm off like a prom dress,
-s
 
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Could you spare a square?   
03:42pm 20/08/2003
 
mood: amused
music: Kompressor - "Brush Your Teeth"
There is absolutely NO POINT to the little quilted designs on toilet paper.

While watching TV, I happened to come across an ad for Quilted Northern toilet paper. It showed a cartoon of three women quilting a gigantic piece of toilet paper. This ply, in proportion to their bodies, had about the surface area of a small house. The women were sitting on little stools, sewing away, adding quaint little details with every stitch.

WTF?!

First of all, it baffles me to think that the company would even want us to IMAGINE that our TP was being hand-sewn by miniature maids. Watching the rate of the stitching on the commercial, it probably took them about a month to sew just one ply. The average wipe, I'd suppose, uses about 5 ply. Wouldn't these girls be heartbroken to find out that their painstakingly difficult quilting was being used and tossed without a thought? Wouldn't it bother them to know what their creation was being used for? What I'm most scared of, however, is if one of these little ladies got trapped on that ply when I was going to use it. Talk about a real brown-noser.

Either way, commerical aside, toilet paper does not require fanciness. No one really looks at it, at least not for more than three seconds. When looking at someone's bathroom to judge the cleanliness and care of it, one usually looks at the sink, the bathtub, and other permanent fixtures. Not toilet paper. If you think that having stylish toilet paper will win you class, you are sadly mistaken. Consider this -- wouldn't toilet paper be drastically cheaper if it were just typical looking? Maybe then, third-world countries could actually get their hands on it. Or other body parts. People buy toilet paper every day as a necessity, and this TP Revolution could change the entire economy!

This would be SERIOUS toilet paper, made for the consumer who honestly doesn't care what his toilet paper looks like, or if it was sewn by microscopic seamstresses. He has better things to spend his money on!

This could change the world.
Consider it.

-s

All elements of this web-site and its writings are © and ™ by Stefanie G. (Unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved.) Basically, copy this and you'll DIE.
 
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I saw the sign, yeah I opened up my eyes, I saw the sign   
09:16pm 19/08/2003
 
mood: hopeful
music: David Bowie - "Space Oddity"
note: some names have been changed to protect the guilty. bah.

Today, today...

The day started off quite odd. I woke up completely depressed, bitter, and angry. As usual. I stayed that way for a bit, and while I was moping-slash-looking-for-something, a light on the other side of the room suddenly turned on. Fecking freaky, man. And it's one of those desk lights where you have to twist something to turn it on.... so nothing natural could've done it. It have to have been with a person turning it. I take it symbolically... -- maybe it was a sign that I should have hope.

Then, AV picked me up and we went to -- da da da DA! -- the eye doctor. They performed all sorts of tests on my eyes. Conclusion: My vision still sucks. They're going to order the contacts... I should have them before Monday...!

Eep. Monday = SCHOOL.

Yes, school starts in 6 days. I'll be switching from NLAHS to Creek. Eep. But I think I'll do fine... I just hope there's some indie-ish type kids there. I mean, I'm a social butterfly... I love kids of all cliques. But I'm sick of fucking ignorant ghetto people, fed up with Avril-posers who think Blink-182 is liek s0 puNk!!!111, and goths who think their lives are so sad that they have to wear black and put down anyone who's not completely white yet decked out in black. Most of those fake-Goths usually grew up rich and just whine over not having an allowance, or that their girlfriend didn't call, or something. You wanna see sad? Try living THIS LIFE. But I won't get into that. Anyway, I think I'll handmake a Pixies shirt... oh, goddammit! I didn't get the fabric marker from AV's house. But anyway, yes, I'll make a Pixies shirt, and wear it to school, and anyone who notices it will automatically be my new best friend. Yay!!

Okay so maybe no one here likes the Pixies... but there's gotta be some typical indie kids... right? Right?

Ayyyeee.

-s
 
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Hey, there ain't no birthday party in here!   
05:51pm 18/08/2003
 
mood: grumpy
music: Nirvana - "Lithium" Classic!
Today:

Woke up, already felt shitty. Went back to sleep.
Woke up, still felt shitty. Went back to sleep.
Woke up, hey Grandma came over! Stayed up and said hi.
Had a huge migraine. Huge.
Went to Christina's, felt better.
Watched 'Fast Times at Ridgemont High' ...hey, there ain't no birthday party in here!
Went to Dr. Luken.
Felt even more better after I got out.
Went home, migraine started again. Back to shitty.
SHUTUPSHUTUPARRRGH.
Ate chicken soup.
Went online.

Ayyeee...
My head is still pounding.

Luckily, I know for a fact that tomorrow will be much better.... for I am getting contacts! Huzzah!

Oooooh, contactscontactscontacts, I've been waiting for so long....!!
I wish today's shit would end and get on to tomorrow's sunshine.
-s
 
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I'm trapped   
10:18pm 17/08/2003
 
mood: morose
music: The Pixies - "Caribou"
mood: morose
music: The Pixies - "Caribou"
I woke up this morning with a smile on my face. The dream I'd had was so cool -- I was able to fly, everything was magnificent... all of that nice dream-world fluff.

Then I realized where I was.

Burying my head back under the covers, feeling the stress rise up already, I sighed. I know this isn't a foster home. I know it could be worse. But the thing that bothers me is, it could be better.

I wish there was some sort of way to push empathy onto others. To force them to feel what you feel, so they'd understand. Then maybe they'd get it. I'm a cauldron of feelings right now. Shame, guilt, anger, bitterness, depression...

I want to be independent and stop everyone from further fucking with my life. I want to be helped and stop myself from further fucking with my life. I just want to be happy. Isn't that what everyone wants?

But you can't always get what you want.

It's okay. I never did.

-s
 
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